Hello, Lovelies! Yes, okay, I'm into this story because I need some Supercorp loving in my life. Let me know what you think!
Song: I Loved You Dangerously by Charlie Puth
Kara walked into the kitchen in a pair of light blue panties and plain white tank top. She used to sleep in ridiculously oversized shirts, comfy like a cotton cocoon, but now her desire to be desired was only one more change Kara failed to undo. She'd been complacent in life, even as Supergirl. She'd created Supergirl in search of something, something to fill the void she'd carried since the death of her entire world, everything she loved. Kara set a pot of coffee to percolate and went back to bed to stare at the ceiling until the alarm sounded to arise for work. The American human dream was a lie. It was all a lie, a fantasy of popular television shows. Moving to the city behind Alex had only made the loneliness deeper, her dependency on her sister stronger, even Supergirl needed Alex to work most effectively. She loved Alex for that, for everything she'd done, but she still felt like that alien child tripping along behind her new big Earth sister.
Crime had spiked a little when she met Lena, but she'd felt alive. It was the first real decision she'd made of her own accord. Even Supergirl had needed the DEO's approval, but Lena… Lena had been hers. For months she kept Lena from Alex, discovered by chance when Alex had had a bad day at work and had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for Kara to come home. Falling on top of her in a heated lip lock with Lena wasn't ideal first meeting conditions, but Alex took it well enough, too shocked and disoriented from losing an agent that night to care much about who Lena was. She wasn't shocked that Lena was a woman, no, Alex knew that Krypton functioned differently in regards to sexuality. People married according to caste that bound them to suitable matches between families regardless of sex or gender. She'd had girlfriends and boyfriends in the past. In her late teens, when her powers had fully emerged but she hadn't learned to control them yet, Kara was only more frustrated by the lack of sexual contact from the world around her for fear of hurting her partners. Alex and Eliza misunderstood her need for it, her openness with it, but they always tried to accept it. Earth lagged behind Krypton in evolution of the mind in so many ways, but her adoptive family gave her hope.
Lena had been the perfect blend of sexuality and emotion, darkness and curiosity of the world. Kara had known love before but had never understood what it meant to be in love. This was why Krypton discouraged love matches, she knew that now. Love matches created a stronger bond between two people than an individual and the good of the whole. Love matches made sacrifice meaningful, if not easy. Love matches made people crazed and lethargic all at the same time, made them lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.
Kara moved her head over the pillow, studying the art deco design in the ceiling of the old building. She loved her apartment. She'd loved it more when she came through the door after a late night of chasing dead leads to stories Snapper chided her for chasing and found Lena curled on the couch reading a book, the scent of a late dinner lingering. Lena cooked a lot, more than Kara had expected. Lena's food allergies, she thought at first, but then Lena had told her that the Luthor's cook had been something of a mentor and friend when she was a lonely child.
Sometimes Kara ate dinner, sometimes she skipped straight to the woman waiting for her. Those nights, she never bothered to go to bed, kneeling right there in front of the couch between Lena's knees with Lena's fingers tugging the hair at the back of her head. They hadn't spent every night together, but the nights they had, Lena never judged her apartment, her lifestyle, or paycheck. She was as comfortable in Kara's kitchenette as she was in the upscale penthouse that cost more a month than Kara spent on food in a year. Kara had never known what it meant to want to spend her life with someone who wasn't Alex. Alex was a given, always, and Kara had never really understood that a life partner was an option. She understood now. She understood what she'd lost, what she'd destroyed.
Tears slid into her ears, but she made no move to wipe them. The alarm buzzed, and she slapped the bed, a few inches from the device. Turning her head, Kara zapped with heat vision. It sparked, went silent, and the scent of burnt plastic wafted over the bed.
"Is that why you buy so many alarm clocks?" Alex said.
Kara looked down the length of her body and found her sister at the foot of the bed in her standard black pantsuit, one hand on her cocked hip, cup of coffee raised her mouth. She loved Alex's attitude, even if she was the dorkiest person she'd ever met, except maybe Lena. They were so very similar, but Alex had never tried to see that. Alex totally could have had a buddy to binge-watch Doctor Who with if she'd just given Lena a chance.
"What are you doing here?" Kara asked and resumed her staring at the ceiling.
Alex moved to the side of the bed, kicked off her ugly, clunky heels, and sat cross-legged looking down at her, sipping from her coffee. Kara remained compliant when Alex took her hand and held it in her lap. She just wanted Alex to go to work.
"I read your article that came out this morning," Alex said. "It's good, Kara."
"I know," Kara said. Alex smirked at her confident response and squeezed her hand.
"How was it? Seeing Lena again, I mean." Alex set her coffee on the side table, stretching without losing her grip on Kara's hand.
Kara sat up and scooted to the other side of the bed, pushing out of it. She felt heavy, everything felt so heavy. "You mean, how did it feel to see how much I broke her heart? It was great." She pulled on pants. She really wanted to stay in bed, but CatCo seemed less daunting than this conversation with Alex.
"Kara, you did the right thing. You've already saved her life twice," Alex followed her across the bed and sat on the edge.
Kara pushed both hands through her hair and pressed the heels of her hands into her temples. She felt Alex's eyes on her bent back that curved under the weight of her heavy shoulders. There was something wrong with her, in her brain. She'd never experienced emotions like that, not even after her world ended. She'd been too scared and fascinated by this cool new planet and language to think about what she'd lost, not until she'd begun feeling happiness again.
"I know," she said finally and let her arms fall limp to her thighs. They moved instinctually to button the capris khakis that Cat Grant hated but only held either side without tugging them together.
"Kara?" Alex touched one shoulder as she moved around her and took the other when Kara refused to look up from her unbuttoned pants. "Kara."
"Can we just…" Kara waved a hand between them. "Have a sister day?"
"Are you okay?" Alex ducked to catch her eyes when Kara dropped her head.
She pushed fingers into Kara's tangled hair and tried to smile, tried to comfort without understanding what her sister needed. It usually came so easily, and Kara felt guiltier that something had rattled their bond.
"I feel like I'm human. I feel weak, and… like I'm surrounded by Kryptonite admitters."
"Okay, I'm taking you the DEO." Kara nodded and let Alex sit her onto the bed. She watched Alex put on her socks and a pair of tennis shoes that didn't go with her pants. She slipped a jacket onto each arm with a tenderness that had tears spilling onto her cheeks and knelt in front of Kara as she zipped it. When Kara stood, Alex buttoned and zipped her pants. It felt good to be taken care of, coddled in a way only Alex was allowed to treat her. She leaned on her big sister heavily, an arm around her shoulder as Alex guided her onto the street and put her into the passenger seat of the DEO-issued SUV. It wasn't necessary, but it made them both feel better when Alex took control. Kara had never really been any good at it.
Kara stared out of the tinted side window the entire trip to the cave. She listened to Alex call Cat Grant directly and bypass Snapper. She never got sick, so Cat was surprised and frustrated but agreed to handle Snapper.
"I love her, Alex. I can't help it," Kara confided, staring into the vastness of the bright desert.
Alex sighed heavily and gave her thigh a little squeeze, leaving her hand there. "I know, Kara."
Alex never left her side during all the scans – brain scan and body scan and agility test. She was still as strong as ever, but her reaction time lagged to that of a human, and Alex took her to the mat more than once. Kara had to think hard about the effort of bending steel beams and punching through concrete pillars. It wasn't that Kara's abilities had diminished, it was just that she hadn't cared enough to block Alex that last time. What was the point? It wasn't like Alex was able to hurt her. One of the techs pulled Alex to the side, and Kara bent her head as she listened to their conversation outside the training room.
"Agent Danvers, there is nothing wrong with your sister physically, but I have a background in psychology. Has she suffered a major trauma recently because I would be more inclined to recommend a therapist than a fitness routine."
Alex looked through the glass as Kara raised her head. "You think Supergirl is depressed?"
"I'm not a psychologist, but if I had to guess…"
"Thank you." Alex nodded sharply, and the other woman took the dismissal with a returned nod and walked down the hallway. It needn't be said that this was to be kept quiet for the moment.
Alex crossed her arms, pulling herself together, and came into the training room. Her chest and neck were still flushed from their sparring. The sleek black look of her uniform comforted Kara. Alex felt most comfortable when she didn't have to hide. Kara crossed her arms, too, and looked at the floor.
"Will you take me home?"
Alex nodded and slipped her hand around Kara's upper arm, leading her all the way to the entrance of the cave and opening the door of the black SUV before she let go. Kara put on her seatbelt, looking down at her hands. Alex hovered at the door, mouth opening and closing a few times before she closed the door and rounded the vehicle. She stopped at the front and looked back towards the mouth of the cave as Winn came bounding out, flushed and excited. They had an alien doing something they shouldn't be doing. Kara raked a hand through her tangled hair and let out a deep breath. She unbuckled the belt and stepped into the heat of the desert.
"Kara, no. I'm taking you home." Alex held out her finger, resembling Eliza more than either of them would ever admit out loud.
"I'm fine. I can help," Kara said and headed towards Winn. "What's happening?" Winn looked between the two sisters.
"Winn! Now." Kara walked by him and into the cave to get her suit. He scrambled to catch up and fell into step with her.
"There is a… correct me if I'm saying this wrong… a Dokreali hijacking a shipment of radioactive materials just south of National City limits. Do you know the species?"
"A few tribes lived on a barren planet not far from Krypton when I was a kid. We used to ship resources to them. They scattered when we couldn't sustain them anymore," Kara offered, feeling powerful in the moment. There was something to do, a purpose.
"What would they want with radioactive waste?" Winn tapped at his iPad and followed her into the room where she kept her spare suit with the rest of the uniforms.
"Food," Kara said and pulled her tank top over her head. She dropped it to the floor.
"They eat nuclear, ah… uhh… you." Alex slapped the back of his head when she caught up, and Winn cleared his throat and turned his back.
Kara rolled her eyes when he glanced over his shoulder once at her naked torso and then ducked his head to the iPad. He still harbored his little crush on her. He knew nothing about her relationship with Lena. No one knew. She had Alex, she hoped Lena had someone to talk to about everything. Alex zipped Kara's suit and left her hands flat on Kara's shoulder blades, expressing her worry without speaking. Kara pulled her hair free of the collar and slipped off her pants and shoes. She slipped into her tights and boots and kept filling Alex in on the situation.
"You'll want to hang back. They have stingers that come out like a helgramite. If you don't die, you'll get cancer in a couple of years from the toxins. Meet me there."
"Kara, wait." Alex grabbed her arm and slipped an ear piece into her hand. Kara pulled free when she turned around and kept walking backwards.
"I've got this. I don't want your face to get melted in an acid spray." She put the piece in her ear and turned it on.
Alex inserted her own comm and turned it on to check efficiency before Kara took off. "Kara, if the yellow sun supercharges you, it might do the same for the Dokreali."
"I'll be fine, Alex." Kara grinned and jogged out of the cave and exploded into the air.
She wasn't fine. The Dokreali's spit ate through her super suit. He cared very little that her planet had sustained his race for decades. He was strong enough to pulverize her a little, and his radioactive acid left splotches all over her skin and singed her hair. She punched the tall, scaly creature in the stomach, flew him into the clouds and dropped him, and then sat on his back until Alex arrived. He was tough, bucking against her until she punched the back of his head a few times. The fall had only slowed him down. The Dokreali groaned beneath her, tried to push up, and Kara bounced a little, swinging a leg over his back to straddle him like a horse. Alex barely caught a snorting laugh behind her lips when she arrived with a team covered in hazmat protection. Kara rolled her eyes and stood up, covered in guck and exhausted but satisfied with the way the day had unfolded.
"His spit is really toxic. Don't touch him. I'll fly him back to the DEO."
Alex nodded once and flapped a hand signal at her team that Kara assumed meant for them to go do something else. "You okay?"
"I'm covered in alien snot that might eat a hole in my water pipes," Kara offered with a grin. It felt good to be needed, and Alex still needed her.
"Shower at the DEO. Let the government handle the plumbing," Alex said and tucked her gun between her elbow and side.
Kara laughed. For the first time in months, she laughed. "I'm not sure I trust the government that far."
"Hey now," Alex chided. They looked around as Alex's team secured the area. One of the drivers had already died, but the other was whisked into a waiting vehicle and taken away with dust flying and tires squealing. National City was visible on the horizon, and this road was busier than Alex preferred. Kara waited. "What Cooper said back at the DEO…"
"About me being depressed?"
Alex kicked the toe of her boot into the reddish dirt and cleared her throat. "Yeah, that. I think she's right, Kara. I've never seen you like this."
"Is it even possible? I mean, the yellow sun pretty much takes care of any physical problems and chemical imbalances, right?" Kara wasn't sure, and Alex had no way of knowing.
"You still feel emotions, Kara. You're not that different from a human," Alex argued, but her voice said that she had already determined to see Kara through this new situation, just as she'd always done. Alex was the home she needed most.
"I need to tell her the truth," Kara said, stepping closer but not touching her sister. "You know I do."
"Kara, you can't. I don't trust her."
Kara put her hands on her hips. "Then trust me."
"It's not my decision, Kara. If you reveal yourself to someone with her connections, you'll be putting this entire operation at risk. My life, Kara. My job, J'onn's, Winn. This is bigger than you. I'm so sorry that you're hurting, but…"
"Will you lock me up if I do?"
"Don't put me in that situation, and we'll never have to find out," Alex challenged. The agent softened and glanced around, checking her team's proximity, and lowered her voice to a whisper. "You know I would never let that happen."
"I know." Kara's chest deflated. She scratched at a scaly splotch of red on her arm through a hole in her suit. "I should get him back and figure out how to lock him up. I'm starting to itch."
"Be careful." They nodded and parted.
Someone approached Alex a moment later, probably waited for them to be done. "Ma'am, area is secure."
"Contact the company these trucks belong to and obtain a destination. We'll have to complete the route to keep this under wraps."
The man nodded and walked off. Kara smiled at her sister and hefted the Dokreali into the air and zoomed towards the cave. Alex must have radioed back and let them know about the chemical threat because she was met at the entrance by a swarm of agents in hazmat suits and some sort of neutralizing spray. They covered her, too, easing the itching beneath her suit and on her scalp and sent her off to the showers. Alex kept some supplies in a locker, and Kara helped herself to them, happy to get Alien mucus out of her hair.
When she made it back to the main rotunda of screens and monitors, Winn was lamenting the ruin of his creation and J'onn stared at him with his arms crossed. Kara's lips tugged into an almost smile. Her little family had gotten so big, and she loved them enough to protect it.
"I'm going home," she announced and slapped Winn on the back. "You'll fix it, right?"
"You might want to dress at home for a while," the tech genius whined and tossed the damp suit back onto the table.
"You're the best," Kara intentionally lightened her voice, almost mocking but still playful. It must have worked because no one looked at her funny.
"Good work today, Supergirl," J'onn offered with a nod. "Get some rest."
Kara flew into the window by her bed and started stripping off the pants and jacket, getting back down to her tank top and underwear. The toilet flushed, and she froze. The last time someone surprised her in her apartment, she'd been attacked by the Black Mercy creature. She looked around, checked the ceiling, sought comfort in the adrenaline pulsing through her veins. Kara moved to a spot of sunlight, charging her body while she was able before another fight. Would an intruder have taken the time to pee and wash their hands? Kara's hands curled into fists, body taut as the door opened.
"Lena?" The tension faded, and different kind of knot formed in her belly. "What are you doing in my apartment?"
The CEO stood just outside the bathroom door and crossed her arms over her chest, cool and collected. Lena was mostly always cool and collected. It drove Kara insane.
"I went to CatCo to speak with you, but they said you had taken a sick day. You're never sick. I still have a key," Lena explained.
"I was at Alex's," Kara covered her wet hair quickly and looked down at herself. She thought she should have felt self-conscious with so much skin showing.
Lena's eyes followed, taking in the splotches covering her body. "What happened?"
Kara shrugged. "Some sort of allergic reaction, I think. Why do you care? You made it clear the other day that you didn't want me around." Kara crossed her arms, tipping her chin upward just a little. She looked more confident than she felt.
Lena raised an eyebrow and stepped into the open space, taking a wide berth around her into the kitchen area. "I brought some lunch. I wasn't sure what you like when you were sick."
Kara followed her, arms going limp to her sides as she looked over the array of food items on the island counter. Lena looked at her reaction for a moment, twirled sharply, and moved to the sofa to collect her jacket. Kara watched her.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Kara asked, following Lena again. Like a puppy, she thought. She couldn't help it.
Lena folded the coat over her forearm and pressed it into her belly. "I wanted to thank you for the article. It's great press, something I desperately need, I'm loathe to admit."
"You're welcome. I told you, I'd never hurt you intentionally," Kara mumbled, crossing her arms, uncomfortable without something to fight.
Lena looked at her, studied her, and Kara squirmed under the gaze. "I don't recall ever seeing you without your glasses."
Kara touched her face, a surge of heat going through her. "Oh, uh, yeah, I… Umm… well, it's… thank you." All of the heat in her body gathered on her neck and chest. Kara scratched an itchy patch on her shoulder.
"Why are you thanking me?" Lena said with a smirk that felt too familiar to ignore. Kara laughed and scratched her forehead. Lena watched, grinned. This felt nothing like their meeting two days ago, no tension or anger or hurt. It just felt like them. Kara flushing, Lena teasing, never taking anything too seriously for fear of getting lost in it.
"For the food. I won't have to cook for days," Kara said and waved a hand at the counter.
"You forget that I've seen you eat. You'll be ordering Chinese by tonight," Lena joked.
Kara smiled and nodded. "You're probably not wrong."
Lena shifted her weight, and Kara understood that their meeting had come to an end. "You're welcome at L-Corp any time you'd like to interview me."
Kara's gaze lingered over her face, looking for the anguished woman she'd seen two days prior. She wasn't there, at least she wasn't so profoundly exhausted. Kara nodded and tried to smile. This was a start to something different, a way to move forward, a way to keep Lena close without putting her in danger. She took it. Lena never offered to return the key to her apartment, and Kara refused to ask for it.
"Thank you."
Lena gave her a smile, eyes narrowing with the force of it. There was still so much more to say, more to work through, but neither of them knew how. Lena let herself out, and Kara watched her go before grabbing a bag of food and settling on the couch for a day of television. The knot in her belly had eased, and for the first time in so long, she felt something other than dread and guilt.
