Chapter 2
Jacob
I woke up in the forest. I must have phased sometime during the night, though I could not remember doing so at all. I lay upon the soft grass in my human form. The sunlight trickled down through the canopy of trees warming my skin. I lay there for a while just gazing up into the sky. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tightly once again. The air was warm and smelled sweet like honeysuckle. I opened my eyes again and exhaled slowly. I sat up groggily. My head was throbbing and the pain in my chest was still unrelenting. I glanced around trying to decipher where I was exactly. I sniffed the air again and found that I was still in Forks, not far from Bella's house.
"Bella," I thought to myself sadly. I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes. Even the thought of her was too much to bear. I quickly brought my hand to my face and wiped them away before they had the chance to fall. I stood up and began to walk. I wasn't focused on the direction I was heading in. I just kept walking. I felt so empty inside I felt like a creature in a bad Zombie movie. There was no good reason to exist and yet here I was still here, walking aimlessly, devoid of a soul. I knew in the very back of my mind that I should probably head home. My father and the rest of the pack were probably getting concerned with my absence. The pack most likely already knew where I was. They had been calling to me all night long but I would not answer them and after a while they stopped. I didn't want to be around anyone right now.
My thoughts once again drifted to Bella. We had grown very close in the past year. We were together nearly everyday until that bloodsuc…I stopped myself in mid thought. I smelled something familiar in the air, a sweet aroma that brought warmness to my heart but was immediately and inevitably followed by a deep ache. She was close by. I realized then that all this time I had been walking in the direction of her house. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Visions of her flashed wildly through my mind. I could see her dark eyes, her long brunette hair, that beautiful smile that lit up the room. She was absolutely perfect…even if she didn't think so. My heart was aching at the thought of her. All I wanted was to be near her to touch her…to hold her. I sighed heavily. She was everything to me. Why couldn't she see that?
I opened my eyes and continued on. I found myself at the edge of the woods before long. I stopped and gazed ahead through the trees. The road was just a few feet away and just beyond it I could see the front of Bella's house. I stood there gazing at it as if in a trance. She was so close and yet as I gazed at her house I felt as if I were standing on the other side of a huge canyon. I missed her so much. I glanced up to her bedroom window. I thought back to the night I tried to tell her the truth about what I was.
Flashback
"Why don't you leave here Jake, go somewhere where Sam can't get to you…we can run away…just you and me."
"You would do that for me," I questioned.
"For you I would," she replied. I wanted to say yes…every fiber of me was screaming yes and it took almost every ounce of my strength to say no to her. Looking back I wished I had.
"As much as I would love to run away with you Bella…I can't." I pulled her into a tight hug. It killed me to see the worry on her face. I wanted so badly to tell her the truth. Not being able to say it, ripped my heart out.
"Don't worry Bella," I said softly as I ran my fingers through her silky hair. I then cradled her face in the palms of my hands and pulled her closer to me.
"You can figure this out…just try to remember." I leaned forward my lips barely touching hers. I gazed into her dark brown eyes. I should have kissed her in that moment. I should have…but I didn't.
End flashback.
"Dad," I heard her calling to her father. Her voice made my heart freeze.
"Dad…I'm going for a walk okay." The door opened and she stepped outside. She was beautiful. I longed so badly to go to her…but I kept myself hidden among the trees. Just then Charlie ran out the door after her.
"Bella," he replied firmly, "you're grounded if you haven't forgotten." She turned toward him.
"Dad I just wanted…"
"I don't want to hear it Bells," he interrupted, "get in this house."
"Dad please," she replied in what sounded like defeat, "I just feel a little cooped up…I just need some fresh air." Charlie sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest.
"How do I know what you are doing Bella," he said sternly, "how do I know you won't disappear like last time."
"I won't…I'm not," she sighed heavily turning her eyes to the ground. She looked back up at her father.
"I know you don't trust me," she replied softly, "things are just weird right now." She paused.
"Difficult, you know," she continued, "all I do is think about stuff…and I just needed a break you know…a distraction." Charlie pulled her into a tight hug.
"You plan on going far," he questioned. She shook her head.
"The playground and back," she said as if asking a question. Charlie nodded.
"One hour," he said firmly. Bella nodded.
"Thanks dad."
I watched as she headed down the road. I followed her from the woods, hidden amongst the trees. Every fiber of my being longed to be next to her, I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her... that I needed her.
Bella
I took a walk to clear my head. There were so many things on my mind. For so long I had wanted things to be back to normal…how they were before Edward left. Now that he had returned, I began to realize that things could never be as they were before. The pain I had endured when he was gone was too great. Even though he had come back to me, I couldn't help but feel incomplete somehow. It was as if the part of me that died when he left could not be resurrected. I sighed heavily as I continued down the road. It was a beautiful day for once, sunny and warm. It was unusual for Forks but it was nice for a change. Edward never came around on days like this. His sparkling marbled skin would be quite obvious in the bright sunlight. I realized in that moment that I would probably never be able to enjoy taking a walk with him on bright summer day…we would never be able to spend a day at the beach like normal people. It was a little sad, actually that we would miss out on simple little things like that. I stopped a moment and gazed up into the clear blue sky letting the cool breeze brush past my face. I closed my eyes as I felt the sun's warm rays on my pale skin. I suddenly heard a branch break from within the woods. My heart froze for a moment. I turned immediately and peered in through the trees. I could see nothing. I shrugged it off and continued walking.
"Probably just a rabbit," I muttered to myself. I could not however shake the feeling that I was not alone…as if someone or something were watching me. My heart rate increased slightly. I was sure I was being paranoid but it made me nervous all the same. Anything could be lurking in the shadows. It could be Victoria for one, or assassins from the Volturi or the Quileutte werewolves.
I was sure Jacob would never allow another werewolf to harm me. They were protectors after all. The only thing they killed was vampires…right. Of course I might be considered a traitor now…a friend to the cold ones, perhaps a threat to the Quileutte. I quickly banished these thoughts. There was no way my life was in jeopardy from werewolves. Even though Jake might be angry with me right now, I knew that he would never allow anyone to hurt me.
"Jacob," I whispered. My mind drifted back to my best friend I thought back to the night at the movies.
Flashback
Mike had run to the bathroom after the gory movie had turned his stomach. Jacob and I, feeling bad for the poor guy, followed him out of the theater.
"I think you should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach," Jacob joked, "someone who laughs at the movies that make other men vomit." I giggled at his comment. He then took my hand gently in his. It made me feel nervous, but at the same time felt completely normal. I wanted to hold his hand, it felt comfortable and warm. His touch was soft and gentle. I pulled my hand away gently trying to be inconspicuous about it.
"What I can't hold your hand," he questioned me immediately. I didn't know what to say to him. I was afraid not only of what it meant to him but what it meant to me. I was afraid of needing him even though I already felt like I could not survive without him.
"I know that he hurt you Bella," his words were soft and gentle, "I promise I will never hurt you…I won't give up…and I will never let you down."
I gazed into his dark eyes. I knew he meant every word.
End Flashback
I missed him terribly.
To be continued…
