Glee is over and Glee is done *sobs*

Seasons of Love

by-andthenIfound5dollars

Warnings: Canon Divergence, Miscarriage

A/N: Probably the longest chapter yet! The song Kurt and Blaine sing in this chapter, "Then you may take me to the Fair" is from the Broadway show, Camelot, by Lerner and Loewe. I also wanted to remind you of the warnings. This is the chapter with the miscarriage, if that is too hard to read I totally understand. Message me and I'll tell you what happens so you'll be caught up.

The second time Mel took the test, they were together.

She came walking in from the bathroom, her eyes down and looking at the stick she was carrying.

"Well?" Kurt asked as Blaine walked around the corner from their dining room with Sophie on his hip.

Once she had walked down the hallway and into the kitchen where they were both standing...she looked up with a smile.

Kurt laughed and twirled her around in a hug.

"Really?" Blaine yelled as the three of them sandwiched Sophie in the middle of their group hug.

Sophie wiggled to get down, then jumped around the loft clapping her hands, completely oblivious to what they were celebrating. Blaine pulled Kurt into a kiss as they laughed and hugged again.

Fall-October

Kate pushed end on her cell and set it down carefully on the counter. She took a deep breath, looking over to where Sophie was happily using her watercolors at her art table in the corner.

"Hey, sweets," she called, smiling when Sophie looked up at her. "Can you come here a second?"

Sophie set her brush down and skipped over to her nanny.

Kate smiled, leaning down to pull Sophie up and settle her on her hip. "That was your Papa, something came up...and your daddies probably won't be home for a while," she explained.

Sophie frowned, but nodded her head.

"How about we make some bunny mac-n-cheese and watch cartoons before bathtime?"

The lines of her face relaxed as she grinned. "Yep!" she agreed. "And juice?"

Kate gave her a watery laugh, held her against her chest for a moment and nodded. "Yes, you can have some juice."

"Daddies be home before goodnights?" Sophie asked hopefully.

Kate bit her lip. She had no idea when Kurt and Blaine would be home, but was pretty sure it wouldn't be until after Soph needed to be in bed.

"I don't think so, honey," Kate told her. "But I'll sing you all your songs and tuck you in, then when daddies get home they'll come and say goodnight, okay?"

Sophie pouted again, but nodded her acceptance.

Kate pulled her in for another hug, before letting her down to start the water for her dinner. After a few moments, Sophie looked up and hugged Kate's legs.

"Katie sad?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Kate looked down and smiled. There was only one person on this planet allowed to call her Katie, and that little person needed a hug. She smiled, picking up the small girl once more.

"Yeah, Katie is a little sad...but Sophie hugs make everything better."

Sophie wrapped her arms around Kate's shoulders, placing a wet smacking kiss to her cheek. "All better?"

Kate laughed and hugged her tight once more, before setting her back on her feet to go back to her art project.

"All better," she agreed.

November

Kurt's eyes opened with a jolt. He sighed and brought his hand up to rub down his face a few times. Waking up in his old room at his parents' house would never not be jarring at first. He could feel the warm weight of his husband next to him, the house quiet, his heart heavy in his chest as he listened to Blaine breathe in and out. He rolled his head on the pillow and stared at the baby monitor next to his side of the bed, telling him that Sophie seemed to be still fast asleep in her room as well.

Burt and Carole had transformed Finn's old room into a room for Sophie when she was still a baby. Kurt had insisted that it wasn't necessary, that Carole should keep his room like it was for as long as she needed to, Sophie would be fine sleeping with them. Carole had been adamant about it though, had insisted that Finn would be annoyed with her for keeping it this long, especially once Sophie needed a space of her own in their family's home.

"I think he'd be proud to turn it over to her and any other little grandbabies that may come along," Carole had told him with a fond smile the day she showed Kurt the finished product. Green walls, two handmade wooden toy boxes, a big day bed with a trundle bed attached, and Carole's antique rocking chair.

Kurt closed his eyes tightly when he thought about that day, a single tear leaking from his eye as he laid there in the quiet, early hour. All of the sudden he felt the bed shift as Blaine turned over and blinked open his eyes, finally focusing enough to give Kurt a small sad smile.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice scratchy with sleep.

"Hi."

Blaine closed his eyes and stretched, his back popping as he sighed and settled back down in the bed. He reached over and rested his hand on Kurt's chest, over his heart. "How'd you sleep?"

Kurt nodded and turned so he was on his side, facing Blaine. He reached up and tangled his fingers with Blaine's as they continued to lie together quietly, staring at one another.

Kurt hadn't even noticed the tears still dripping from his eyes until Blaine reached over and carefully thumbed one away. He had just opened his mouth to say something, when their door creaked open and little footsteps padded across the room. Their blanket moved as Sophie peeked her little head over the edge of the bed, her brown hair wild all over her head, and smiled when she saw they were awake.

"Hi daddies," she piped up, struggling to pull herself up on the bed. Blaine gave his husband a small smile before taking pity on their daughter and sitting up to help her while Kurt hastily wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Good morning, honey," Kurt sang softly, pushing away his early morning sadness and smiling as Blaine plopped her down in between them and she snuggled into his chest. "How did you sleep?"

"Gooood."

Blaine laughed and kissed the back of her head. "How about you and me go downstairs and make everyone some breakfast, hmm? Give Grammy and Papa a break before we go to the farm later today."

Sophie nodded, but cuddled a little closer into Kurt's arms, yawning and playing with the buttons on his pajama shirt.

Kurt chuckled and kissed the top of her head before looking over at Blaine. "Or we could all just lie here for a little while, spend some time with just the three of us before the day gets started?"

Blaine nodded as he laid back on his arm and closed his eyes. Kurt started humming something under his breath as he rubbed his hand up and down Sophie's back, listening to the sounds of the rest of the house waking up.

xoxo

Kurt stared out the kitchen window as he waited for the kettle he had just put on to boil.

The afternoon had been whirlwind of activity. Burt and Carole had a tradition of driving out to a friend's tree farm every year on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and chopping down their Christmas Tree, then dressing the house to the nines with holiday cheer. This was the first year Sophie was old enough to go and actively participate. Kurt had dressed her warmly after breakfast and they all piled into Burt's five passenger truck for the 60 minute drive.

Once they arrived at the farm, they took a hay-filled tractor ride out to the forest area of the property. Once Sophie and Kurt found the perfect tree, Burt and Blaine set about chopping it down, finally giving in to Kurt's instruction on how to hold the hatchet correctly and letting him do it. Sophie "helped" Burt tie the tree down in the bed of the truck, finally being coaxed away by Carole with the promise of hot chocolate in front of the bonfire her friend Joe had built for them.

"Why I bought her a white coat I'll never know," Kurt murmured to Blaine as Sophie dribbled chocolate down the front of her where she had already gotten a fair amount of tree sap. "Will I never learn?"

Blaine just smiled at their daughter's laughing face as she accepted another cup from Burt and cuddled closer in his lap. "Eh, it's washable...I'll treat it when we get back to the house."

Once they made it home, Carole pulled out the tubs and tubs of Christmas decorations she had taken from the attic that morning. Sophie sat on the floor of the living room with Burt as they went through each one while Blaine and Kurt wrangled the tree into the stand, and the stand in the exact position Carole instructed.

Kurt was jarred from the memories of the day as the kettle began to whistle. He pulled two mugs from the cabinet and held the tea bags as he poured hot water over them. He walked the cups back into the living room and had to smile when he saw what greeted him. Sophie was fast asleep on Carole's lap...and she had been wide awake when he'd left the room not five minutes before.

Carole looked over at him with a grin as she rubbed her hand down Sophie's back. "She just climbed right up, announced she was tired and laid down. I think she was asleep after about thirty seconds."

He nodded and set the tea he had made for Carole on the table before sitting next to her on the couch. "Yeah, she does that," he told her, blowing on his tea and taking a sip. "It's probably our fault, we let her sleep in our laps so often, she's just used to it. I can take her if you want?"

She shook her head and kissed Sophie's. "Nah, gotta soak up some snuggles before you three leave tomorrow."

Kurt nodded as he took another sip from his mug and sighed. He reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind Sophie's ear and rubbed his knuckle down her cheek. She opened her eyes, smiled at him, then fell right back to sleep, cuddling even closer against Carole as she drifted.

"You okay, honey?" Carole's voice broke his thoughts and he looked up. He gave her a noncommittal shrug and turned his head to stare at the nearly finished tree. "You know you don't have to be," she started again.

Kurt shook his head and sighed, letting another few minutes go by with only the sound of his parents' CD of The Trans-Siberian Orchestra playing from the stereo in the corner filling the room.

"It's just..." he started before biting his lip and shrugging again. "I don't even know. It's just everything, I guess." He pinched the top of his mug and closed his eyes, finally reaching over and setting his tea on the coffee table in front of them. "Sometimes I don't even know what...I don't know what to feel, I suppose."

Carole nodded and inclined her head. "I think that's normal, honey. You guys just went through a loss, there is no right or wrong way to handle the things you are feeling, whatever they are. Even if it's still confusion at this point."

Kurt sighed as he sat back and crossed his legs. "I feel like..." he stopped again and looked to make sure Sophie was really asleep. Carole looked down and nodded to him, rubbing her hand down the little girl's back gently and smiling at him to keep talking. "I feel like people expect us to just be over it," he finally admitted to her. "Like it wasn't that big of a deal...like we should just move on with our day to day lives like nothing has changed...like none of it matters."

"Oh honey," Carole started, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder as he dropped his head to look at his hands. "It absolutely matters. It matters because you say it matters. And no one else gets an opinion about that, ever."

"Everyone keeps telling us, 'It'll get better, it'll get easier, just give it time...'" He paused again before shaking his head. "I'm so sick of it."

Carole nodded but didn't say anything, just continued rubbing her hand up and down Sophie's back as the little girl slept on.

"If feels like everyone wants to dictate how long we should be sad, how long we should be upset and..." he stopped himself. He finally lifted his head and took a deep breath. "I'm afraid..." he paused and caught his breath before staring at a blank space on the wall. "I'm afraid we're losing Mel," he finally admitted. Carole reached over and took his hand, but being the woman that she was, and how well she knew the way Kurt processed things, didn't say anything so he would keep going. He loved her even more in that moment and took another breath.

"That day in the hospital, none of us knew how to act around each other. We were each processing everything so differently. Everything felt so raw, so...open. We were walking on eggshells around one another, not knowing what to say, or what to even think...even Blaine and I were at a loss at how to handle what we were feeling. We were all just so caught off guard.

"Everything with Soph was so easy," he continued as Carole nodded again. "Mel got pregnant on the first try, had a relatively problem free pregnancy and delivery...I guess we were almost lured into this...I don't even know..." he trailed off again and shook his head. "We all just wanted answers, and nobody seems to be able to give us any."

"That's because nobody knows, sweetie," she told him sadly. "It's just one of those shitty things that life likes to throw us to make sure we know that nothing comes easy."

"Like I needed to be reminded." Kurt snorted angrily. "I don't think I'll ever forget that."

Carole shook her head in agreement. "No, I don't think any of us ever will."

Another few quiet moments passed by as Carole reached over and gently rubbed the tips of her fingers through the short hair on the back of Kurt's head before squeezing his neck and shoulder. Kurt took a deep breath and bit his lip, leaning into the motherly touch.

"The last few weeks have been..." he trailed off again and shook his head. "Blaine and I have been so focused on making sure Sophie is okay, that all her needs are met, that she doesn't see anything has changed...so even when we do-" he broke off as Sophie moaned and shifted in Carole's arms, turning her head and settling back down to sleep against her chest, and Kurt let out a watery chuckle, pointing to her. "Something inevitably, comes up," he paused again and sighed, leaning over to kiss the back of his daughter's head. "She has to come first, right?"

Carole exhaled and nodded. "Yes," she started, reaching for his hand. "But sometimes, making sure you prioritize your marriage, is putting her first."

Kurt looked at her warily, but finally nodded.

"And everything will work out with Mel," Carole promised. "She loves all three of you so much, she just needs time to process everything that happened...just like you do."

"I hope you're right. She told us before we left that Luke surprised her with tickets for a three week Alaskan cruise," he sighed, reaching over for his mug to take sip of tea. "She called last night and asked if she could take Sophie for their shopping trip on Monday morning because they are leaving on Wednesday and may not have time again if not then since they are spending the actual holiday with his family in Toronto after that."

"Shopping trip?"

Kurt smiled in spite of himself and nodded. "She always takes Sophie to buy our gifts from her," he explained. "Says it's not fair if we buy them, and that it's something the two of them can do together. She's done it since Soph was a baby."

Carole grinned at the sweetness of the gesture and kissed the top of Sophie's head again. "It sounds like you all need to take some time and do some healing. Remember what they say," she said as Kurt looked over at her warily. She laughed but recited the quote to him anyway.

"Everything works out alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end."

xoxo

Burt sighed as he decided that the last box of decorations just wasn't in the attic like his wife insisted. It had to be in the garage, because he and Blaine had been looking for almost thirty minutes and neither of them could find it anywhere. He'd sent Blaine downstairs a few minutes ago to look in the alcove closet, just in case they'd missed it earlier, while he finished stacking the boxes and bins the two of them had disturbed in their search.

He turned off the attic light and carefully walked down the creaky steps before pushing them back into the ceiling with a defeated sigh. He stopped in the bathroom to wash the dust off his hands before walking toward the stairs to the main level of the house. He opened his mouth to call out to Blaine and ask if he'd found the missing box, when he stopped suddenly. Blaine was sitting in front of him on the landing, very clearly eavesdropping on the conversation going on in the living room between Kurt and Carole.

Blaine jumped with a surprised and embarrassed look when he heard Burt behind him, but turned back around as Burt walked the few steps down and sat behind him. He couldn't exactly make out what his wife and son were talking about, but he thought he could probably guess.

"You okay, kid?" he asked as he put his hands on Blaine's shoulders.

Blaine didn't say anything, but didn't shrug off his hands either. Burt took that as a good sign and sat with him for the next few minutes, neither of them saying anything as they waited for both of their spouses to finish up their conversation.

Sometimes, Burt thought, You just need to sit quietly for a little while.

xoxo

The next afternoon was their flight back to New York, and back to their day to day lives. At age 3, Sophie had become something of a seasoned flier. After the horrendous drive back to New York when she was 8 months old, Kurt had vowed never to drive again, and since they tried to make regular trips home...Sophie was no stranger to airplanes. She would sip her juice cup during take off, then watch a movie on her tablet, or fall asleep curled up with her bunny and blanket.

The late afternoon flight wasn't long, but because of the holiday weekend and traffic getting back into the city...it was past Sophie's bedtime by the time the cab pulled up in front of their building. Kurt carried the sleeping little girl, while Blaine managed the luggage.

"Hey," Blaine said when Kurt walked back down to the front of the loft. "She stay asleep?"

Kurt nodded as he rubbed his eyes a bit and opened the fridge. He made a mental note to get to the market the next day. They had let everything dwindle before leaving for the long weekend, and now he wasn't sure what they were going to do for breakfast in the morning.

"I suppose I should make a quick run to Duane Reade," he decided, opening the cabinet next to the fridge before turning back to Blaine. "We have cereal but no milk, and peanut butter but no bread. I can pick something up for us to eat while I'm out."

Blaine bit his lip but nodded. Kurt gave him a tight smile before turning to walk down the hallway toward the door.

"Actually, honey," Blaine stopped him. "I can go in the morning. I was thinking maybe we could order in?"

Kurt turned and gave him a weary look but tipped his head and motioned for Blaine to keep going.

"I was thinking maybe Chinese from that place on 43rd, Happy-something? You can order drinks from there too, and then we can just stay in tonight."

"But, what about breakfast?"

Blaine shrugged and walked over to the bookshelf where they kept the majority of their DVD collection. "I can run out for bagels and coffee early. I think we need the night in...just the two of us."

Kurt sighed but had to smile when Blaine held up the case for When Harry Met Sally.

"I know it's not exactly a holiday movie...but it's our movie, and I really just wanna curl up on the couch and watch it with you."

Kurt looked at his husband's anxious face and couldn't say no. He nodded and told Blaine to order the food, that he was going to go change.

After closing their bathroom door behind him, Kurt stared at his reflection in the mirror. He stretched his neck and rubbed his hand down the brown stubble that had grown on his face since he shaved that morning. He carefully cleansed and moisturized his tired face. He picked up the serum he kept on hand for puffiness and let his eyes blur with the tears he refused to let fall. He listened to his husband's far off voice ordering their dinner and had to smile in spite of the sadness he'd been holding on to all month...because just like his coffee in the morning, and the way he ordered his eggs when they went out to brunch, Blaine knew exactly what to order for him.

And while some may say that after ten years of ordering in at least one night a week, one would hope his partner would know his standing choices...there was something so comforting in not having to give an explanation. The comfort of knowing that when the food arrives, Blaine will have ordered rice and noodles for him, that he will have known that Kurt likes to get two orders of dumplings, because they both like them cold the day after, knowing that while Blaine will want a beer after the long day, Kurt will want to stick with Diet Coke...so he'll order both.

All of the sudden, his arms ached to hold and be held by Blaine. He hurriedly pulled on a pair of soft lounge pants and the matching hooded t-shirt. The DVD menu screen was already playing when he walked back to the couch, and Blaine had made a tall glass of ice water for him to sip while they waited for their food to arrive. The gesture made the lump in his throat grow even bigger, but for some reason...he felt almost shy. He sat timidly on the edge of the couch and watched as Blaine paid no heed to his timidness, immediately pulling him into his arms without a second thought.

Kurt relaxed into the embraced and sighed as the movie started. He laughed at Sally honking the horn within the first five minutes; Blaine held him even tighter. They ate their dinner side by side as they quoted the dialog back and forth to each other as they'd done for years, letting little giggles of familiarity slip out as the movie played on.

Kurt let himself cry when Sally cried, and Blaine made both of them laugh when he whooped at Sally slapping Harry across the face. They held hands as the final scenes played out. Kurt looked over at his husband, and Blaine stared back at him. The movie ended and wordlessly, they cleaned up and turned off the lights.

They stood next to each other as they brushed their teeth. Blaine used the bathroom while Kurt checked on Sophie one last time and double checked to make sure the door was locked.

He crawled into bed, slipping down and reaching over until he found Blaine's hand under the covers. They laid there together for a long time, occasionally wiping away stray tears and whispering I love you to each other in the dark and moving closer and closer until they were wrapped up in each other's arms.

Winter-January

The Saturday after New Year's Day a blizzard shut down the city. Snow covered everything, footprints were gone before they'd had a chance to make their dent on the sidewalks. Cars crept carefully down the empty streets, only to slip and slide until they met their destination. The city went into hibernation. It was cold, quiet, and unsettling.

Blaine and Kurt did everything they could think of to keep Sophie entertained inside their loft. They had tried to take her outside on Sunday morning when it looked like the bulk of the snow had fallen, but the closest park was four blocks away. Sophie was over the snow by the time they made the walk and whined to go home before they could try any of the things that made snow so fun and was adamant about not going back out in it.

They baked cookies, they had movie marathons in the blanket fort Blaine built in the living room. Kurt tied a sturdy blanket to the table to create a hammock that Sophie insisted on sleeping in before Blaine carried her to bed at night. They had coloring contests, played dolls, played hide and seek until she was screaming with laughter and running away. She and Kurt sat down and designed a new party dress for her. She sat on Blaine's lap and 'helped' him play the piano, the three of them singing along while Kurt made and froze pots of soup for the coming few weeks, already preparing for the colds they were all sure to come down with when their lives got going again.

School wasn't scheduled to resume until Tuesday, so Monday morning Kurt groaned at his alarm clock while everyone else slept on. He was out the door before anyone else had even woken up.

Blaine scrubbed his hand down his face as Sophie ran yelling down the hallway, her fairy wand with the long yellow streamers flowing behind her as she giggled. He looked at the clock on the microwave and decided it was time to start thinking about lunch just as his phone started ringing on the counter.

"Kurt, hey," he answered, moving aside as Sophie made another lap around him, thankfully not yelling this time.

"Hey, I was just calling to tell you that Natalie texted and she can watch Sophie tonight. She said she could be there by five...is that enough time for you to get ready?"

Blaine nodded as Sophie let out a barking laugh and ran down the hallway again. "It'll have to be."

"Thank you so much, honey. I know these dinners can be kinda boring for you, but I really appreciate you coming with me."

"It's no problem, Kurt," he assured him as Sophie laughed again and started to climb up on the couch. "I could probably use the adult time anyway-hang on, Sophia Elizabeth! Absolutely not! We do not jump on the furniture."

"Daaaaaad," Sophie whined as Kurt chuckled in his ear.

"Nope. Couches are for bottoms, not feet."

Sophie gave him a mischievous grin. She flopped back down on her back and lifted her feet in the air, she bounced her little butt up and down on the couch and giggling to herself. Blaine turned back to the kitchen and opened the fridge with a sigh. It wasn't worth the argument, and she had at least listened to him.

Kurt murmured something to someone next to him before turning his attention back at Blaine. "Uh oh, she being a handful for you today?"

Blaine sighed again as he pulled a tupperware container of frozen soup from the freezer to start heating up. "She's just bored," he said into the phone. "We did all the fun 'snow day, stuck in the house' stuff this weekend..."

Kurt hummed and Blaine imagined he was probably nodding. "And it's not like I have the old stand-by's to fall back on. It's still too cold and snowy, so the park's out. Plus, I got an e-mail a few minutes ago that her gymnastics class was canceled because the heater went out in the building, so I don't even have that to work towards. I was thinking maybe a trip to the library for some new books, but I'm still not sure about 'Sophie meets the snowpocalypse'."

"Well, the good news is that the roads and sidewalks are mostly clear from all the traffic this morning," Kurt said. "And my lunch meeting was just canceled...you wanna meet up? We could grab some lunch and get you both out of the loft for a few hours?"

Blaine shook his head. "If she's being like this now, I can't imagine she would have the best 'going out to lunch' manners..."

Kurt hummed again and was quiet for a few moments before speaking up again. "Oh! What about the diner? We've been talking about taking her for a while, and there's always tons of people running around, singing and dancing...she wouldn't need to be on the best behavior there anyway."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked, already pushing the soup back into the freezer and shutting the door.

"Yeah," he answered as Blaine walked down the hallway toward their bedroom. "I brought my suit with me, just in case...and it looks like I'm gonna have to go straight from here to the restaurant. I'd like to see her a little bit today, anyway, so it'd be great."

Blaine nodded as he told Kurt to give them about thirty minutes before leaving to meet up and they hung up.

xoxo

Mel sighed as she set the cordless phone she never used, and often forgot about, down on her counter and pinched the bridge of her nose, attempting to ward off a tension headache. Her loft smelled stale and musty, she knew she would have to clean soon...as well as unpack.

She glanced down the hall and groaned at the three very heavy bags she had dropped by her door when she had walked in not even an hour before.

When Luke had had offered her the three week Alaskan cruise over a month ago, she'd known it would be the perfect thing to take her mind off everything. But after three weeks on a ship, a week in Toronto with his family for the holidays, and getting snowed in four days at her dad's in Connecticut, she was happy to be home-even if it seemed her brand new iPhone hadn't made it home with her.

She groaned again as she pulled out her laptop and sat down at her counter to look up what kind of insurance package she had for the stupid thing. As she waited for the screen to boot up she wrinkled her nose, searching for the foul smell that was only adding to the headache her brain was trying to work up. Looking around, she finally found the culprit-the dead and now decaying bunch of flowers on her coffee table. Her heart dropped as she remembered...

The knock on the door pulled Mel from the daze she had settled into the last half hour or so. She had been watching mindless TV Land reruns and snoozing on the couch since that morning, when she had begrudgingly left her bed.

She'd been ignoring her phone, hadn't checked her e-mail, hadn't even flipped on the news to see what was going on in the rest of the world. She knew she should probably eat something...but nothing sounded good and she was still battling nausea, so what was the point?

However, a knock at the door had to mean either Kurt or Blaine; she didn't really know anyone else in the building, and she hadn't given Luke a key yet. She knew the guys would respect her request for a little space. If they were knocking on her door, it must be important.

She pushed herself from the couch with only a small wince. Walking down the hall, she took several deep breaths and mentally prepared herself before opening the door, but was surprised to find neither Kurt nor Blaine standing in her hallway.

"Rachel? Hi," Mel said, the surprise evident on her face.

Rachel had a bunch of long stemmed white and pink lilies tucked into her arm, and her grin could only be described as mischievous.

"How did you...?" Mel asked, she hadn't buzzed her in.

Rachel just shrugged with a smile. "I have a key," she answered simply.

Mel shook her head. "Right, of course."

"Is it alright if..." Rachel asked, motioning to come in. "Is it okay? I know you asked the guys for some time."

Mel shook her head and moved aside. "No, of course you can come in," she assured her, closing the door and following Rachel down the hallway. "I have to warn you though, I'm not the best company right now."

"I understand," Rachel acknowledged as she walked into the kitchen and helped herself to a vase that was sitting by the sink. "I won't stay long, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing."

"I'm fine," Mel hastened to answer. She walked over and attempted to sit gingerly on one of her stools, then thought better of it when a sharp pain shot through her body.

Rachel looked over with a concerned, but also skeptical look on her face. She didn't believe Mel for a second.

"Really, Rachel...I'm okay. Just really tired."

Rachel looked down at the flowers she had brought and untied the binding holding the paper together. Several uncomfortable moments passed, the crinkle of the wrapping paper the only noise.

"Did you know, you can ask your florist to cut the stems and arrange the bouquet for you?" Rachel asked, as the vase filled with water in the sink.

Mel sighed, but shook her head.

"Kurt taught me that. I'm horrible at arranging flowers. I don't know why, I just can't do it. Don't have the eye for it, I suppose."

Mel swallowed the emotion that immediately bubbled inside her at the mention of their friend's name.

"How is Kurt?"

Rachel didn't say anything for a few moments. She set the flowers down in the water filled vase, moved a few around so they all had space to breathe, finally turning to the other woman with a soft smile.

"They are my next stop," she answered.

"Rachel, I..." Mel started, but Rachel interrupted.

"I'm gonna make some tea, would you like some tea?"

Mel huffed out a quiet laugh, but nodded. "Yes, please. The tea bags and mugs are in the cabinet above the sink."

"Perfect, go sit down. I'll have this ready in a jiffy. Can I make you anything to eat, too?"

"No, thank you. The tea will be fine," Mel assured her, sitting down on the couch and covering her legs with a gray and white knit blanket.

Both women were quiet as Rachel boiled water, set the bags to steep, and flitted around the kitchen. Mel turned off the TV and cleared off her coffee table.

"Splash of milk and spoonful of sugar, right?" Rachel asked when the tea was finished steeping.

Mel looked up and gave her a soft smile. "Right."

Rachel grinned as she walked the mugs over and handed Mel hers. "My dads used to tell me, 'always learn how someone takes their tea, you can learn a lot about people by what they add'."

Mel took a sip and was quiet for a few moments as Rachel walked back into the kitchen to grab the vase of flowers. "What does mine say about me?" she asked.

Rachel set the vase on the coffee table in front of them and shrugged. "I dunno, they would never tell me." Mel laughed in spite of herself.

Rachel grinned over the top of her mug, smug that she had gotten Mel to genuinely smile, as she sat down on the other end of the couch. She looked over at the vase of lilies and sighed softly as she let a few more quiet moments pass by.

Mel opened her mouth to tell Rachel that she really was fine, when Rachel took a deep breath.

"Sam brought me lilies," she finally said, breaking the silence, her voice soft as she reached over to rub one of the petals between the pads of her fingers. "I don't know why but, in some stupid way, they helped."

Mel looked over in confusion, realization slowly washing over her as she understood what Rachel was telling her.

"Rachel...I had no idea," she whispered, her eyes already starting to well up.

Rachel pushed on the rim of her mug with her thumb and shrugged. "No one did," she sighed. "We never told anyone."

"It was about six months after we eloped," Rachel started, her voice soft, but strong. "We'd been back in the city for just over a year. I'd just graduated from NYADA and I had all these offers on the table. Sam was just starting to get really steady work...we were doing really good," she nodded to herself. "I still don't know how it happened. We were being so, so careful," she laughed softly, brushing a stray tear that had rebelled and leaked from her eye. "Life has a way, ya know?"

The corners of Mel's mouth twitched as she nodded, leaning over to put her mug on the coffee table.

"We didn't know what to do. Sam kept telling me, 'It's your choice, I'll stand by whatever you decide. I'll support you no matter what'. I was so mad at him," she almost laughed. "I just wanted him to tell me what to do...but he couldn't."

Rachel finally looked over and made eye contact with Mel, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. "It wasn't the first time I had thought about kids. I just always thought about them in this abstract kind of way. Something far away and in our future. But then our future was right there, staring me in the face, demanding I make a choice...I didn't know what to do."

Mel reached over and took her hand. Rachel sighed out the tiniest of sobs and held on to her hand like a lifeline. "What happened?" Mel asked.

"I finally got Sam to talk. We argued, we yelled, we made the decision together. We could do it, we could be parents. We had amazing friends, supportive family..." she paused and wiped her eyes once again, still holding tight to Mel's hand. "Three days later, I started bleeding."

Mel's eyes welled up and her voice shook. "Oh, Rachel."

"It was still really early," Rachel explained. "They didn't even keep me in the hospital very long. Sam and I went home, and it just seemed easier not to tell everyone. I mean, how do you say...'Oh I'm pregnant, but not anymore'?"

Mel nodded, understanding completely.

"I think I cried for three days straight, but never told anyone why...not even Kurt," Rachel laughed through her tears and looked over at Mel. "And I tell Kurt everything."

Mel laughed. She wiped her eyes again and nodded.

Rachel looked away, lost in thought, before she took a deep breath and kept going.

"You know that bullshit excuse?" she asked. "That stupid fucking 'reason' that everyone keeps giving you that makes no sense and does not, even a little bit, make you feel better?"

Mel nodded. She knew exactly what Rachel was referring to. If her stupid doctor or any of the nurses had said it one more time, she was going to pelt them with anything she could have gotten her hands on.

"As much as I hated hearing it...as much as it made no sense and I wanted to stab whoever was saying it, including my husband, it's true. It sucks and it's not good enough, but it is true."

Mel turned her head and nodded. She kept nodding as the ball of emotion that had been sitting in her stomach for two days slowly climbed up her body and reached its breaking point at her eyes. She kept nodding as it felt like her chest was exploding, and her eyes filled, blinking and gushing tears that fell down her face with no end in sight.

"I feel so guilty," she finally whispered.

Rachel pushed the blanket out of the way and pulled Mel into her arms.

"You have nothing, nothing to feel guilty about."

Mel shook her head, but finally let her body be held by someone, sinking into Rachel's small, but strong frame.

"If I had just called when I first started spotting," she choked out, her voice hiccupping with a sob. "Called the second the cramps started."

"Then nothing would have changed," Rachel stubbornly insisted, squeezing Mel tightly before pulling back just a touch to look her in the eye. "There is no way you could have known what was going to happen, or if getting to the hospital sooner would have made any difference."

Mel shook her head and sniffed.

"Did you spot when you were pregnant with Sophie?" Rachel asked. "Did you cramp in the beginning? Did they tell you it was normal and not to worry?"

Mel bit her lip. "You did everything right," Rachel insisted when Mel finally nodded. "Everything."

Mel squeezed her eyes shut, the words she had been feeling for three days on the tip of her tongue before she finally let them go.

"I feel like such a failure."

Rachel pulled her back into her arms and held her as she cried. "I know." Mel just cried harder.

After a little while, Mel started to calm down and pulled away. Rachel stood up, went to the kitchen for two glasses of water, grabbing a box of tissues on her way back to the couch.

Mel thanked her, blew her nose, and took several long sips of water as she took deep breaths to calm down.

Rachel took a sip of her water, wiped her own eyes, and picked Mel's hand back up.

"How are you really? Physically, I mean...are you in any pain?" she asked.

"Sore," Mel admitted. "Everything was more...invasive than I was expecting. I'm not really in pain though."

Rachel nodded as Mel looked down and fiddled with the end of the blanket still in her lap.

"How are they, really?"

Rachel huffed out a sad laugh.

"About as 'okay' as you are. Pretending they are fine, but hurting more than either of them will admit."

Mel nodded sadly. She had figured as much.

"Rach...in the hospital, in the hospital I told them we could start over-I told them we could start over right away," she paused, starting to tear up again. "But I don't think I'm ready."

Rachel nodded. "They'll understand," she assured her. "They love you so much, Mel. They will do whatever you're comfortable with."

"I just, don't want to disappoint them." The 'again' may not have been said, but Rachel heard it anyway.

"You won't," Rachel told her, squeezing her hand in reassurance. "You can't, and you haven't, okay?"

Mel smiled, she didn't totally believe her, but she nodded anyway. "Thank you so much, Rachel. For coming over, and for sharing with me. I love them, but I still don't know if I know exactly how to talk to them about this...yet." Rachel nodded as she kept talking. "It means so much that you would trust me."

Rachel just smiled and gave Mel a sort of half shrug. "Hey, you and I gotta stick together. If nothing else, for Sophie's sake," she joked and Mel cracked up.

"I'm serious," Rachel cried. "I was raised by two men. I love my dads more than anything, but I would have killed for an Aunt Mel and Aunt Rachel when I was growing up."

Mel laughed again as she wiped the last of the tears from her face.

"I would have, too."

Rachel grinned as she stood up. "I better go." she said. "I'll call you later, okay? Get some rest."

"I will." Mel promised as she pulled Rachel into a hug goodbye.

They stood there for a while before Mel finally whispered. "I'm sorry."

Rachel gave her one more tight squeeze. "I know," she assured her. "I'm sorry, too."

Mel shook herself out of the memory and sniffed, quickly wiping her hand under her eye. She stood abruptly and grabbed her coat and bag from the table by the door. She needed a new phone, and then she needed her friends.

xoxo

"We aren't walking, are we Daddy?"

Blaine chuckled as he made sure the door was locked and pulled it shut behind them. "No, honey. Papa said the roads were mostly clear today, so we'll see if we can get a cab...if not, we'll take the train."

Sophie hurried ahead and gleefully pushed the down button to call the elevator. "I'm gonna get a cheesebunga! What about you, Daddy?"

Blaine laughed and nodded. He took her mitten covered hand as the elevator doors opened. "A cheeseburger sounds pretty good to me, monster."

Sophie swung their joined hands back and forth as the elevator began its descent and she called out the numbers that flashed on the screen above the panel.

"8...7...6...oh, we're stopping!" she called as the elevator doors opened. Blaine's breath caught as Sophie dropped his hand and cried out. "AUNT MEL!"

Mel face broke into a grin as she held her arms open for Sophie to jump into. "Hey, there's my girl!"

Blaine grinned as Mel pulled him into her arms, Sophie still awkwardly on her hip. "Mel, we didn't even know you had gotten back."

She sighed and nodded. "I got home an hour or so ago, but somehow lost my phone on the commute from Connecticut to here. I called my dad when I got home and he swore it's not at his house. I was just running out the Apple store to get a replacement." Blaine nodded as she explained and they walked off the elevator, into the lobby of their building. "I was actually gonna call you guys as soon as they transferred my contacts over, see if you had any plans for dinner?"

They stopped in the alcove where the mailboxes were kept and Blaine leaned down to adjust the buttons on Sophie's red coat. "Kurt actually has a business dinner tonight. We got a sitter for this monster and I'm gonna join him."

Mel nodded her understanding as Sophie started jumping up and down. "Aunt Mel!" she cried, both adults turning to look down at her. "We're meeting my Papa for lunch! You can come."

"Oh honey," Blaine laughed nervously, throwing Mel a timid look. "Aunt Mel was getting ready to run some errands, she may not be able to-"

He trailed off as Mel hastened to shake her head. "No, I'd love to come actually...if that's okay? I really missed you guys, and I'd love to see Kurt."

Blaine reached out to take her arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Of course it's okay," he promised her. "Kurt and I were just talking last night about how much we missed you, he'll be thrilled to see you."

"I missed you guys, too," she said, her and Blaine taking each of Sophie's hands as they walked out onto the snowy sidewalk and catching a cab that was letting someone out just a yard or two away. "Plus, I have to tell you all about my trip! It was crazy fun!"

Kurt was growing increasingly annoyed by the phone call he was having with his assistant as he stood outside the diner, waiting for his husband and daughter to arrive. Normally he would just wait inside, but it was much too loud to hear anything, and he knew how much it annoyed Blaine when he talked on his phone in the middle of a restaurant. He spied a cab pulling up with the unmistakable head of his husband popping out and he abruptly ended the call, pocketing his phone as he watched Blaine help their three year old daughter out of the car and over the snowy bank that had built up on the sidewalk that would surely be gone by the next day. He had to laugh at her horrified face. That child hated anything and everything to do with snow. She was a city girl, through and through.

He called out her name when she looked around for him, her face breaking into a smile as she hurried the 20 or 30 feet over to him. "Papa!"

Kurt knelt down to pull her into his arms in a hug, mindful of her boots not getting anywhere near his pants or long coat. "Hi honey, how are you?"

"I'm hungry," she announced, grinning when Kurt kissed her cheek and stood up.

"Me too, honey-Mel?" he asked, his eyes growing wide when he looked up and spied his friend walking up next to his husband. He grinned as she pulled him into a crushing hug, kissing his cheek as she always did.

"We ran into Mel as we were all leaving the building, Sophie invited her along and we all know how nobody can resist those big green eyes." Blaine leaned in for a quick peck from Kurt and all three of them shared a fond look at the three year old between them, carefully eyeing some kids down the street, throwing snow at each other and laughing.

"It's so good to see you," Kurt told her, pulling her in for another quick squeeze. "We missed you so much."

Mel grinned as she looped her arm through Kurt's and the four of them walked into the loud diner.

Sophie stared with huge eyes as Kurt took the stage at Gunther's insistence, Blaine settling down at the piano behind him. Kurt hummed a few bars to warm up as fast as he could, he and Blaine having a quick conversation on what they would sing. They had a huge repertoire and always took a few minutes to decide.

Blaine's eyes suddenly lit up as he tossed out a suggestion that Kurt immediately agreed to. As he started to play the opening bars, Kurt sat next to him on the piano bench and smiled to the room.

"Please excuse my under-trained and unrehearsed voice."

Sophie stood up on the seat of the booth with Mel's hands wrapped securely around her middle, both of them laughing and clapping wildly as Blaine and Kurt sang and flirted their way through "Then You May Take Me to the Fair" from Camelot.

Sophie jumped up into Blaine's arms after they had finished their song, taken a bow and were walking back to the table.

"You sing good, daddies!" she exclaimed as they sat back down at their table and their waitress brought over their food. "Did you sing on stage like Daddy, Papa?"

Kurt chuckled and gave his daughter a fond smile. "For a while sweet-pea," he started as he cut her cheeseburger in half so it would be easier for her to handle. "Now Papa lets Daddy and Aunt Rachel handle the on-stage singing. My voice is better used singing you to sleep at night."

Blaine leaned over and whispered loudly to Sophie. "Don't let him fool ya, Soph...Papa could pack a house like none other, you're lucky you are the one he sings to the most now."

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly but pointed to her plate so she would eat.

Later, after Blaine had piled a very sleepy Sophie into a cab home for her nap, Kurt and Mel walked arm in arm the few blocks to the closest Apple store. Once she told Kurt where she was headed, he quickly said he'd tag along. He'd needed a new notebook charger for a while as he only had one and kept forgetting to bring it wherever he went.

"I get to work and I left it at home, I get home and somehow left it at the office. I just need to keep one at each place and be done with it."

The sidewalks were crowded with people still on their lunch hours and pushed to the sides to avoid the melting snow banks. More than once the couple were forced to squeeze together or stretch their arms to walk behind one another in order to let someone pass.

"I always forget that you started at NYADA as well."

Kurt looked up from where he was deciding on a new case for Sophie's iPad and shrugged. Mel had picked out her phone and was just waiting for the employee helping her to finish the activation and ring her up.

"Technically I graduated from there...NYADA that is."

Mel looked up in surprise. "You did?"

Kurt nodded and walked over to her.

"What happened? Why did you..."

"Why did I give it up?"

Mel nodded and Kurt shrugged again. "Because it didn't make me as happy as I always expected it to," he said simply. "I used to love being on stage," he continued with a wistful look on his face. "Commanding a room with just my voice. Feeling the applause and knowing it was just for me." He stopped again and took a deep breath. "For so long, I wanted to prove everyone wrong."

"What'd you mean?"

Kurt set the box holding his charger and the iPad case on the counter. "Everyone who told me I wasn't leading man material. That I would never get roles with my specific voice and face...that no woman would want to be held in my stick like arms."

Mel glanced at his very not stick like arms and gave him a sideways look as he laughed and shrugged.

"It got to the point where I couldn't remember what came first, wanting to be a star, or becoming a star just to prove to everyone that I could."

Mel nodded again as Kurt sighed.

"Blaine and I had been married for about a year when we hit a really rough patch...and it was because I wasn't happy and I was taking it out on him. So we got our butts back in therapy and I realized..." he trailed off again before giving her a small smile. "I realized I loved him more than I loved being a star, and that giving up on something I didn't even really want wasn't letting them win. It was letting me win." Mel nodded with a fond grin. "And once I realized that, and accepted it...I thought back to the last time I was really happy with my career, when I was working for Isabelle at after I first moved to the city. So I called her and...the rest is history."

The employee helping Mel came back then and after finishing with Mel, rung Kurt out as well. As they were walking to the nearest subway stop, Mel asked him. "Do you miss it?"

Kurt stopped and closed his eyes for a moment. "Not really," he answered honestly and opened his eyes to look at her. "I mean, there will always be aspects that I miss...but I love my life now. I love what I do and how I do it. I love the opportunities and doors that have been opened for me. I don't regret for one minute the decisions I've made. They all got me to this point, standing here with you at this subway stop."

Mel bit her lip as she sniffed and threw her arms around him right there. "I've missed you."

Kurt looked taken aback for a moment before wrapping his arms around her as well and squeezing tightly. "I've missed you, too. Can we never go this long without talking again?" he asked carefully. "I mean, I get it and we understand...but I've, we've both, missed you so much. A month is too long to go without seeing our Mel."

Mel let out a watery chuckle as she held him closer and nodded her head. "Way too long."

March

Blaine woke up one Saturday in early March to the bed empty next to him. He rolled over in confusion to wake his phone up.

"Seven thirty?" he mumbled out loud, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. He pushed the blankets back and grabbed his cardigan from the end of the bed to pull on before standing up and heading toward the hallway.

He found his husband packing his bag at the kitchen counter, his traveler's mug of coffee curling steam in the light of the early morning sun.

"Hey," he called into the quiet of their loft.

Kurt looked up with a start and let his face fall.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I was trying not to wake you..." he said, packing the last of his sketchbooks into his bag.

Blaine looked at him warily and walked over to stand in front of the sink. "You're leaving?"

Kurt nodded as he took a sip of his coffee. "I was gonna leave you a note, Tate e-mailed me last night that the last few prints I've been waiting for came in last night. I figured if I could get to the studio today, get some major work done uninterrupted, then maybe I could come home and at least spend the evening with you two...I'm already so behind, and I have less than a month to finish."

Blaine blew out a careful breath and looked over at his husband. "Did you forget about today?" Kurt looked up at him blankly.

"My dad?" Blaine asked and Kurt closed his eyes. "He has that layover here before he flies to Prague for a month, said he wanted to see us for a few hours? It's supposed to be a nice day, I figured we could pack a lunch and take Soph to the park, let her run around with Dad for a little while."

Kurt groaned and nodded. "I did, I completely forgot...I'm so sorry, Blaine." Blaine sighed as Kurt went on. "I've just been putting out small fires all week at the office, everything has been so crazy. I haven't had hardly any time to get in my studio, and I'm so behind..."

Blaine rubbed his fingers back and forth above his eyebrow a few times and sighed again before nodding. "Okay, I...okay."

"I know I keep saying this," Kurt started, throwing the strap of his bag over his shoulder and walking around the counter to stand in front of Blaine. "But as soon as Paris is over, things will calm down and get back to normal around here." Blaine looked down and bit his lip, but nodded. "I am sorry," Kurt told him softly. "I promise, I'll leave the studio no later than 5:30 and be home for dinner."

Blaine nodded again, but didn't look up.

"Okay, Soph and I will meet up with Dad and go to the market afterwards. Text when you're on your way and we'll have dinner ready."

Kurt smiled as Blaine lifted his head and leaned in for the kiss Kurt was offering. "It's a date. Love you, give the monster a kiss for me."

"I love you, too..." he answered, waving as Kurt hurried down the hallway and walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him with a click.

xoxo

"Daddy," Sophie started after Blaine had pointed to a picnic table and set down the basket and bag he'd been carrying. "Can I have that cuppycake now, please?"

Blaine looked over at her and narrowed his eyes. "Sophie, do we have dessert first, before our meal?"

Sophie sighed as she watched Blaine shake out the blanket they had brought and lay it carefully over the metal table. "But I'm huuuuuungry," she whined.

"Well, you can have the cupcake you picked out after you eat your sandwich and carrot sticks," he told her, pulling containers and cutlery from the basket and setting everything on the table.

"But," she started, leaning her head back and whining. "I'm not hungry for turn'key, I'm hungry for cuppycakes!"

Blaine blew out a breath. He was just about to reprimand her when he looked up and saw his dad about forty yards away, walking toward them. "Hey, look who I see!" he told her, pointing to Andrew. Sophie looked up and squealed.

"Grandpa!" she cried as she tore after him. He laughed and picked her up in a hug, swinging her around a little before setting her back on the ground and taking her hand.

Blaine smiled as his dad walked over to him, then held out his arm for an awkward hug which Andrew returned gratefully.

"Hello, Blaine, you look well."

Blaine huffed out a laugh but thanked him as Sophie hopped from one foot to the other and swung Andrew's hand back and forth and babbled.

"Oh my goodness, Grandpa, we brought so many food for our picnic. And me 'n Daddy went to the bakery by our building and got cuppycakes for dessert! We got you a rappsberry one, cause Daddy said that's what you like...I like the chocolate ones. I bet I can eat my WHOLE cuppycake, do you think you can eat your whole cuppycake? I can help you if you can't, I promise."

Andrew looked up at Blaine and laughed as he hugged Sophie once more. "Thank you, little one...I'm sure I can finish my cupcake, but I would be glad to share a bite with you. And your daddy is absolutely right, raspberry is my favorite."

Blaine pulled a hand wipe from one of the bags and passed it to Sophie. "Here honey, wipe your hands on this so we can sit down and eat." Sophie nodded as Blaine motioned for his dad to sit down as well. "Dad, help yourself-we have turkey sandwiches, pasta salad, pita bread and hummus, and some veggies."

"Great. This all looks so good, son," Andrew told him as Sophie plopped down next to him and accepted the plate Blaine had put together for her.

He pulled Sophie's cup of milk from the insulated bag he had brought, as well as two bottles of water. He put one in front of his dad and kept the other for himself as he sat down across from them and took a long sip.

"So, no Kurt today?" Andrew asked and Blaine shook his head.

"He's at work," Sophie piped up next to him, sighing. "He's always at work."

Andrew looked up at Blaine. "Oh honey, he's not always at work..." Blaine trailed off nervously, trying to both comfort his daughter, as well as not alarm his father.

"Yes huh!" she insisted. "He wasn't even home for goodnights the last time. And you said it's 'cause he had'ta work."

Blaine reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Papa's been really busy lately, honey...but he told me this morning he's gonna try to be home for dinner tonight. So you'll get to see him then, okay?"

Sophie sat up and grinned. "Really?"

Blaine looked into her excited face and forced a smile, praying he didn't just build up her expectations, only for Kurt to call and cancel later. He nodded and pointed to her plate.

"Really, now eat."

Andrew gave him a thoughtful smile, then looked down at Sophie and asked about her school. She started jabbering on again and the subject was dropped.

After the three of them had finished lunch, and Andrew and Blaine had cleaned up the picnic table, they walked Sophie down the path a little to a playground and set her loose to play. Blaine pointed to a bench where they could still see her and Andrew followed him.

"So," Andrew started after a few quiet moments. "How are you?"

Blaine nodded but kept his eyes on Sophie and didn't turn to face his dad. "I'm good, in between projects right now...but really good."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Our nanny, Kate, is in her last semester of college and got an internship with an elementary school. She asked if she could have a little time off to finish up, then come back full time for the summer. We really like her and don't want to lose her, and I was just finishing up a small guest run in "The Elephant Man". I figured now was as good a time as any to take a little break and focus on Sophie for a while."

Andrew nodded again as he watched Sophie and another little girl try to push each other on the swings.

"And Kurt? How's he doing?"

Blaine took a deep breath before nodding. "He's good. Busy, but good." He finally turned to face his dad and gave him a little half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "The fashion world is crazy this time of year, he's just really busy."

Andrew hummed and shook his head. "I can imagine. Is he traveling quite a bit?"

Blaine shrugged. "He was in London the first part of February...and then he'll be in Paris at the end of the month."

Andrew laughed and rubbed his eyebrow. "Your mom used to get so mad at me when I would travel," he said. "Especially when you two were small. Said it was too hard on her to keep everything going when I was away."

Blaine gave his dad a sideways look and crossed his legs. "It's pretty hard, yeah. I mean, I'm basically a single parent right now..." Blaine trailed off as he crossed his arms as well and tried not to sound too much like a petulant child. "He's gone before she wakes up, and is barely home before she goes to bed. He was in and out almost all of the February fashion weeks for Rage, and now he's putting a line out for the Paris Week at the end of the month."

"Yeah, that's a lot of work for one person," Andrew agreed.

Blaine nodded and bit his lip. "He's put on small shows for his own brand before, but always with the umbrella of Rage...this is the first time he's doing it all on his own. He's doing a full thirty piece collection, he got his own investors, he's doing all of the designing and most of the manual labor, plus all the press that goes along with launching a runway show...it's just, taking a lot out of him, and that in turn is taking a lot out of us."

Blaine heard his dad's phone buzz, but he ignored it, intent to let Blaine finish talking without interruption. Fueled by this little gesture, Blaine took a breath and kept going.

"I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining, because it's not like I don't do the same thing when I'm working as hard as he is, and with rehearsals, techs and previews, not to mention eight shows a week, I'm just as busy for just as long, it's just..." he paused and looked down at his hands.

"We lost a baby this past fall."

Andrew's face fell and he sighed. "Oh, Blaine."

Blaine nodded and took another breath. "And I feel like he just, threw himself into his work as a way to kind of...push away the hurt he was feeling afterwards. We've talked about it a little since then, and I feel like we're both...okay now. But Kurt's on this fast track to get this line out, plus all his editorial duties with Rage...I just wish he would take a break, that's all."

Andrew nodded and clasped his hands in his lap, smiling as his eyes followed Sophie running across the playground behind the other little girl, both of them giggling.

He looked back at his son and tilted his head slightly. "Are you really okay?"

Blaine glanced over at him before turning his head back to Sophie and nodding. "Yeah, I am. It was really hard at first, but then...I dunno, it gets easier the longer you have to live with it, I suppose."

Andrew nodded and was quiet for a few long moments. "Your mom and I lost a baby once."

Blaine's head shot up and over. "You did?"

Andrew nodded and sighed. "Right after we got married, it was one of those things where she didn't know she was pregnant and felt really horrible, so I rushed her to the ER, and they told us."

"Oh man," Blaine mumbled, biting his lip.

"I honestly didn't know how to feel, at first," Andrew started, his hands still clasped in his lap. "Mom cried for a full three days, then told me she wanted to have a baby...and we started trying.

"It wasn't until a few years later, when we stopped trying and she told me she wanted to adopt Cooper, that I really thought about that baby we lost...who it could have been, what could have happened..."

Blaine nodded along with him, he'd had all the same thoughts, they'd kept him awake at night for weeks.

Andrew started chuckling to himself and Blaine had to smile. "But then, Cooper filled our every waking moment with his exuberant personality and mischievous ways, and you came along a few years later...it just, gets easier."

Blaine nodded with a sad smile and they both watched as Sophie flew down a slide and waved. Blaine grinned and lifted his hand to wave and blow her a kiss. She reached up and caught it, running toward the swings with her fist held up the air, holding the 'kiss' tight as she ran.

"I'm really glad you could have lunch with us today, Dad," Blaine started, Andrew turning his head to smile at him. "It was nice to see you again."

Andrew looked down at his feet and nodded. "You too, son."

xoxo

Sophie was sitting at the table with one of her alphabet puzzles while Blaine put dinner together in the kitchen when they both heard the door open and Kurt calling down the hall.

Blaine looked over at Sophie's wide eyes, a smile spreading across her face as she struggled to get down and ran down the hallway.

"PAPA!"

Kurt hung the garment bags he had over his arm in the closet with the washer and dryer before he knelt down and opened his arms. "There's my monster!"

Sophie squealed again as Kurt lifted her up and pecked kisses against her cheek and neck between each question he asked her and she giggled. "How are you? How was your day? Did you have fun? Were you a good girl?"

"Me 'n Daddy went to the park!" she cried. Blaine tossed the dish towel over his shoulder and smiled as Kurt walked into the kitchen with Sophie still in his arms. "We met Grandpa and had a picnic and I ate all my chocolate cuppycake! And Grandpa shared his rappsberry with me and it was sooooo good! I think I like rappsberry too, Papa. Like how I like chocolate, but not as much, not as much as I like chocolate."

Kurt laughed at her and leaned in for the kiss Blaine was offering him. Kurt was smiling, but Blaine could see how tired his eyes looked, and he pecked another quick kiss against his lips before Sophie huffed and he pulled away, laughing.

"Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes or so," he told them. Kurt nodded and let Sophie slide down to the floor.

"Great, I'm starved. It smells amazing."

Blaine nodded and pushed Sophie away slightly so he could peek in the oven. "Oven-baked breaded chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob."

Kurt moaned and nodded. "Let me go change, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Dinner was filled with the sounds of Sophie's chatter. Kurt listened intently and smiled over at Blaine as she told him everything from what shoes she'd worn that day, to the button games and letter puzzles she could do.

After dinner, Sophie pulled out the puzzle she had been working on before Kurt got home, and insisted the three of them put it together three times, while she told them each letter before plopping it in the correct spot.

At bedtime, Kurt sang and read to her while Blaine cleaned up the kitchen, insisting that even though he cooked, Kurt should go spend some time with Sophie, and he didn't mind. After a full day of playing, shopping, and the excitement of Papa being home, Sophie was asleep before her 8:30 p.m. bedtime.

"She told me all about the girl she met at the park today," Kurt said as he walked back into the living room, the garment bags over his arm and his sewing box in his hand. "Sounds like they had a blast."

Blaine nodded as he shut the dishwasher and started the wash cycle. "Yeah, we made plans for a play date later in the week." He stopped and looked over to where Kurt was standing. "What's that?"

Kurt sighed as he spread a thick black sheet over the clean table. "One is Rachel's dress for the Alzheimer's benefit in a few weeks. She needs a fitting before I can finish, and I told her to stop by here before she goes to the theater tomorrow. The other is a gown that I have to finish the bead work on before I can sew it together. I was getting caught up today, and made myself stop...thinking I could get it finished after Sophie went to sleep."

Blaine sighed and shook his head, all thoughts of a bottle of wine and some down time with his husband flying out the window as he watched Kurt pull out the dress form he kept in their hall closet.

"Okay, well..." Blaine trailed off as he watched Kurt carefully drape a purple dress on the form. "I guess I'll leave you to it, then."

Kurt looked up, his brow furrowed as he adjusted one of the pleats in the bodice. "Well, wait...you don't have to go," he insisted, motioning to the living room.

Blaine shook his head and picked up his phone from where he had left it on the coffee table. "Actually, now that Soph is down...I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

Kurt looked a little confused. "A walk?"

Blaine nodded as he folded a blanket that had been bunched up on the couch.

"You don't have to do that," Kurt insisted, his hands wringing together as he stepped a little closer. "I wasn't trying to run you out of the apartment..."

"It's fine," he told him. "It's been a long day, on top of a long week...I need to get out for a little while, clear my head."

He walked over to him and pecked his lips against Kurt's quickly. "I won't be late. I have my phone if you need me."

Kurt nodded as Blaine walked down the hallway, picking up his keys from the bowl by the door and grabbing one of his lighter jackets that was hanging in the closet.

The sunny and unseasonably warm day had segued into a clear and cold night as Blaine walked down their block. He pulled his jacket a little tighter around him and wished he had thought enough to bring a scarf. It wasn't the bitter cold of the winter, but it was early March and a frost still hung in the air when the sun went down.

He let his mind wander. He thought about articles he'd read in The Voice, and the e-mails filled with possible auditions his agent insisted on sending him no matter how many times he told her he was taking a break for a few months. He thought about the parent/teacher conferences they had coming up that week, and if Kurt would be able to get away, or if this was another thing he would have to do on his own. He thought about bills and Sophie's school tuition.

When at last he could stand the cold no more, he walked into the Pom Pom Diner, a neighborhood place they often went to...especially when one or both of them were hungover and needed some greasy comfort food, and sat down to warm up. He ordered a cup of coffee and a piece of hot apple pie.

The waitress was sweet and smiled as she set his order down on the table. He shook his head and thanked her when she asked if he needed anything else. He took the time to doctor his coffee exactly how he liked it, took a small sip and deemed it good enough...then didn't drink it. He sat with his hands molded around the hot ceramic cup to keep warm and stared at the gooey apple filling falling out of the flaky crust on his plate. He picked up his fork and pushed the apples around, not noticing when the waitress walked back up to his table.

"Somethin' wrong with the pie, honey?"

Blaine looked up with a start and immediately plastered a smile on his face as he shook his head. "No, sorry," he told her. "I guess I was a little more cold than actually hungry."

The waitress smiled and nodded. "Yeah it's a night out there, I tell ya. The weatherman said a cold front is movin' in and we could get some dustings of snow before morning."

Blaine looked up at her in shock. "Are you kidding, it was almost 60 degrees today!"

She laughed. "That's March in New York for ya! Lived here my whole life and ain't no two winters been the same. This city is always changin' on ya."

"I guess so..."

She pulled his bill from the pad of paper in her hand and laid it on the table. "Pay me whenever you're ready honey, no rush."

Blaine thanked her again and watched as she walked away. This is silly, he thought to himself as he pulled a few bills from his wallet and dropped them on the table. He was not going to sit there for hours just because he didn't want to deal with the issues that waited for him at home.

After waving to the waitress where she was refilling someone's coffee, he pulled on his jacket and walked out the door just as a cab turned onto the block. He stood out on the street and threw his arm out to flag it down.

The lights in the loft were still on when he walked back in and hung his jacket in the closet. Kurt was hunched over the table, his glasses perched on his nose as he carefully stitched in the tiny beads to the unfinished bodice of what looked like the beginnings of a beautiful evening gown. He looked over and gave Blaine a tired smile when he walked in.

"How was your walk, feel better?"

Blaine sighed and shook his head. "Not really."

Kurt's smile slipped from his face as he looked back down at his hands.

"Could you take a break?" Blaine asked. "We need to talk."

Kurt nodded as he carefully set down the needle and thread. He slipped off his glasses and set them on the table before standing up and following Blaine to the couch.

Several tension filled moments passed before Blaine finally took a deep breath, but Kurt beat him to it.

"Can I just say something, before you get started?" he asked. Blaine closed his mouth and nodded.

Kurt shut his eyes and wrung his hands together. "I know I'm not being fair to you, that I'm shirking on my duties around here...and not being the husband, and the father you need me to be."

"That's not..."

"No, it is," Kurt interrupted him. "Tonight, before dinner when Sophie was lying on our bed talking to me...she told me you had said I would be home for dinner, but she thought you were just kidding her," he paused and put his head in his hands, his voice starting to shake. "And that just about broke me..."

Blaine bit his lip and nodded tentatively.

"I don't want to be that to her..." Kurt stumbled over his words. "The father who may or may not come home, the one she can't depend on, the one who chooses work over her."

"Honey," Blaine whispered, reaching across Kurt's back to squeeze his neck and shoulder, while rubbing his other hand up and down Kurt's arm.

Kurt shook his head and sniffed. "I don't blame you for being mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

Kurt looked up in surprise. "You're not?"

Blaine shook his head and sighed. "No, I'm worried about you."

Kurt huffed out a laugh that quickly turned into a dry sob.

"I'm serious," he started, still squeezing Kurt's shoulder and rubbing his arm. "You're working so hard, spreading yourself too thin...between Rage and the brand, I'm worried you're gonna burn out, work yourself to exhaustion before the month is even over."

Kurt put his head back into his hands and sobbed out another laugh.

Blaine shifted on the couch so he was facing Kurt instead of sitting next to him.

"Kurt..." he started, waiting for him to look up. "When Kate came to us and told us she was going to have to step back this semester, and we made the decision, together, to not hire someone new and wait for her...I knew that these few months would be difficult."

Kurt nodded his head but didn't say anything, so Blaine kept going.

"And it is," he laughed softly. "Even with Soph in school three days a week, it's hard and it's frustrating, and I do get annoyed..." Kurt opened his mouth, like he wanted to interrupt him, but Blaine kept going. "But that's what it is, an annoyance. I let myself be annoyed, and then I remind myself, that this is just a season...that our lives and our marriage will be full of seasons, and not all of them will be easy."

Kurt nodded and reached over to take Blaine's hand. "I feel like none of them have been easy...for a while now."

Blaine nodded and covered their joined hands with his. "I've known you for years," he started after a few quiet moments. "You've been my best friend since we were 16 years old...and when you get upset, when you get down and life starts throwing you those curveballs of things you can't control and you can't change, you start throwing yourself into things you can control and you can change."

Kurt closed his eyes and slowly nodded before bowing his head. Blaine was slightly taken aback. He'd expected a fight out of him...but Kurt seemed too tired to fight, which concerned him even more.

"I'm worried about you," he finally sighed. "You are working 15-16 hour days, you aren't sleeping, you've lost weight so I can tell you're not eating..." he trailed off and shrugged. "And I know how guilty you've felt about not being around for Sophie, I get the same way when I'm working eight shows a week and barely get to see her."

Kurt lifted his head again and hastily wiped his fingers under his eyes with a tired chuckle. "I almost wish you had been mad at me," he said, turning his head to smile at Blaine. "At least then I could get mad back and we could argue...now I just feel like I'm letting you down."

"You aren't letting me down. I realized tonight that I would be letting you down if we didn't talk about this."

Kurt turned his head and sighed. He sat up a little straighter but didn't let go of Blaine's hand. "After Thanksgiving, when everything was so raw and we were still walking on eggshells around each other...I decided to up the collection to a full thirty pieces, get my own investors, and show in Paris, separate from Rage. I did all that, because I needed to. I needed to work and yes, take my mind off everything we had lost. The hurt we were all still feeling and the fear that we would lose Mel because of it."

Blaine nodded. He knew most of this and what he didn't know, he had guessed.

"But then," Kurt paused to laugh again. "Like everyone told us it would, time started to heal us. Mel came back into our lives, and we started to move on...let the baby we lost become part of us, but not all of us...if that makes sense?"

"Of course it does, I know exactly what you mean," Blaine told him.

Kurt stopped again to take another breath. "But now...now it's like I've started this train on this track, and the train is going, and I'm there and I have to keep the momentum going and get it safely into the station or else it's gonna crash. And if it crashes, it's gonna take out everybody I've put on that train, including you and Sophie."

"That's a very nice train analogy," Blaine laughed.

Kurt shoved him with his shoulder. "Shush you, you know what I mean."

"I do, but honey...even trains make stops."

"Really Blaine? You're gonna keep going with the train analogy?"

He laughed and dropped Kurt's hand to pick up one of the pillows on the couch to bop him with. "Hey, you started it."

"Yeah yeah," Kurt chuckled, wiping away one of the tears on his face.

Blaine tossed the pillow on the couch and opened his arms. "Come'ere."

Kurt smiled as he scooted over and fell into his husband's arms with a sigh. "I've missed you."

Blaine held him a little tighter and kissed the side of his head. "I've missed you, too." He pulled them out of the hug and cupped his hands on Kurt's face. "But I think it's time this train made a stop."

Kurt rolled his eyes but nodded, giving Blaine a playful grin.

"So, how about this," Blaine started, pressing his lips against Kurt's for a few moments before pulling away, dropping his hands and picking up Kurt's again. "You pack up for the night." Kurt sniffed and nodded. "You let me take you to bed, give you the best orgasm you've had in months, and hold you until you fall asleep."

Kurt huffed out a laugh and nodded again, his eyes shining as Blaine kept going.

"Get a full eight hours of rest...then, tomorrow, after breakfast, the three of us will go to your studio." Kurt eyes grew wide as he smiled. "You can show us what you've been working on the past six months, I don't think I've ever not seen your collection this close to showtime," Blaine said and Kurt nodded again. "Then, Soph and I will head out and give you a few hours to work. I know you can't take a full day off this close to runway, and she's been bugging me about the Aquarium ever since she had to stay home the day the school went because she was running a fever, so we'll get out of your hair until around four." Kurt shook his head in wonder, but was still smiling. "We will come pick you up in time to get back home for Rachel's fitting. We'll spend the night together as a family, and you can get one more full night of sleep before you go back to being a crazy workaholic until you leave for Paris in three weeks."

Kurt laughed and leaned in to kiss Blaine again. "That all sounds amazing and I'm completely on board...under one condition."

Blaine narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "Yes?"

"You come to Paris with me."

Blaine barked out a laugh and threw his head back. "Kurt!" he cried. "I can't come to Paris with you!"

"Not for the whole 10 days, just for the show," Kurt insisted. "Isabelle pulled some strings and got me a Sunday afternoon spot. She's not flying over until Thursday, and told me she would be happy to fly you in with her as a combined birthday/anniversary present."

Blaine shook his head but allowed himself to hope for just a moment. "Sophie? What would we do with her?"

Kurt bounced on the couch once and shook his head. "Rachel and Sam already offered to keep her for the weekend, I asked them yesterday when Iz offered to pay for your plane ticket, then I'll fly home with you on Monday night. I have the budget to fly you one way. I know it's not really a vacation, because I'll be working so much..." he trailed off as Blaine nodded. "But it's Paris! Plus there will be parties, and dinners, and time alone in a hotel room and..." he paused again and bit his lip. "I need you to be there. I've never done this without you before, and even though I know I can...I don't want to do it without you."

Blaine stared into his hopeful eyes before finally cracking a smile and nodding. Kurt cried out and lunged into his arms again.

Later that night, after Blaine helped Kurt pack up his kit and carefully fold the unfinished pieces back into their garment bags, he led Kurt back to their bedroom and locked their door. He pulled off all Kurt's clothes and used every trick he knew to slowly bring him to the edge until Kurt was coming down his throat, his body spent and pliant under Blaine's hands. After he had caught his breath, Kurt begged him to work him open and fuck him into the mattress, covering Blaine's mouth with his own to muffle the moaning of Blaine spilling into him, both of them spent and smiling as they pecked kisses against any patch of skin they could reach.

Blaine took the time to run a warm washcloth over both of their bodies to clean them up, insisting both of them change into clean pajamas and clean sheets in case they had a visitor in the morning. At last they curled up in bed and were holding each other as they drifted off to sleep, Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, "I would have gone to Paris, even if you couldn't take tomorrow off."

Kurt hummed and met their lips together once more. "I would have taken tomorrow off, even if you couldn't come to Paris."

Spring-April

Sophie giggled as Rachel cuddled and tickled her tummy on the couch where they had been hiding since she and Sam had walked in the door twenty minutes before. Mel crept over and covered both of them with a blanket, all three of them laughing as Kurt walked over and shook his head.

"Alright Little Miss Thing, it's past your bedtime," he started, holding out his hand and motioning for her to follow him. "You got to see everybody, now say goodnight to Aunt Rachel and Aunt Mel and let's go."

Rachel pouted as she gave Sophie one last hug and let her go. Mel dropped a kiss on the top of her head as she walked by. Luke and Sam called goodnight to her as Blaine leaned down to give he a hug before she waved and followed Kurt to her bedroom.

The ladies walked back to the kitchen to help finish getting dinner on the table and wait for Kurt.

"You know, the whole 'little kid in bed in time for the dinner party her parents are throwing', is very Betty Draper circa 1959," Mel laughed as Kurt walked back into the kitchen twenty minutes later. "Especially with Rosemary Clooney singing in the background."

"But who is who?" Rachel asked, passing Kurt the glass of wine she had poured for him. "Blaine has the style, but Kurt has the attitude."

Kurt rolled his eyes as he helped Blaine put the final touches on dinner. "If you are gonna compare us to TV couples, I'd rather be Ricky and Lucy...all the class and half the emotional baggage."

Mel threw her head back and laughed as Rachel shook her head. "Okay, but don't expect your Fred and Ethel to move to the suburbs with you...ain't happening." She stopped and motioned to Mel. "Either one."

Mel nodded emphatically and followed both of them to the table with the two plates of caprese salad Blaine had handed her. "Yeah, this Ethel ain't goin' nowhere."

"You two are nuts," Kurt laughed as he checked to make sure the scallops were still simmering correctly and gave the risotto a quick stir. "This still needs another ten or fifteen minutes, so let's start...I'm starved."

"Yum," Rachel moaned as she sat down and glanced at the plate of salad in front of her. "I've been looking forward to Blaine's caprese all week!"

Kurt nodded as he reached over to give his husband's hand a quick squeeze. "Me too."

Blaine preened with the compliment and lifted his glass of wine. "Thanks guys, but before we start-a toast."

The sounds of everyone reaching for their glasses rang out as Blaine smiled and leaned his glass toward the middle of the table. "To the toast of Paris, the receiver of rave reviews, and the favorite of many a critic over the last few weeks-Kurt, you were amazing honey."

"Here here!" everyone echoed as they clinked glasses together and Kurt blushed, leaning over to peck a quick kiss against Blaine's lips.

"And," Rachel added after everyone had taken a sip. "Here's to my being on the 'Best Dressed' list in this month's issue of In Touch! That dress was amazing, Kurt."

Kurt grinned as everyone clicked their glasses again. "You wore it beautifully," he insisted, reaching over to squeeze her hand before taking a sip from his glass.

Rachel shrugged. "It always helps to have your best friend as your stylist."

"It sure does," Mel added, nudging Kurt's shoulder next to her.

Kurt preened and shook his head. "Thanks everybody, you all know how much I love when everyone is talking about me, but let's eat."

"Here Here!" Sam called again, everyone laughing along with him.

After dinner, Kurt served the blackberry crumble he had pulled from the oven right before they started their main course while Blaine made coffee and Sam helped Mel and Rachel clear the table. Luke had ducked out to take a quick phone call, apologizing and promising to help with the dishes when he was done.

"I mean, I can't exactly complain..." Mel trailed off as she walked back to the table with the carafe of coffee Blaine had handed her. "We were gone most of December on a cruise, it's not like I'm starved for a vacation."

"To Alaska though, not exactly the beach getaway we're talking about," Rachel insisted.

Kurt nodded from across the room. "Blaine and I are taking Sophie to LA this August with Lena to visit Cooper and do the whole Universal Studios/Disney thing...but the week is gonna be so packed, I can't imagine we will get much beach time in."

"I can't believe we have all been friends for this long and we haven't gone on some kind of trip together..." Mel trailed off as Luke walked back in and everyone sat back down at the table.

Blaine nodded as he handed Rachel the soy creamer for her coffee and made sure everyone had clean napkins. "It is kind of amazing, now that I think about it. Sam and I did a road trip type thing in high school, but other than flying home-I don't think we've even done anything like that before."

"What are we talking about?" Luke asked, sitting down at the foot of the table next to Mel.

"Rachel and Kurt are planning a beach vacation for all of us," Mel answered him, gratefully accepting the cup of coffee from Blaine. "Neither of them have ever been up to the Hamptons."

Luke nodded with a chuckle.

"I'm serious!" Kurt exclaimed as he bit into his crumble and wiped his mouth before turning to Blaine. "Do we know anyone with a house on the beach?"

Blaine chewed thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't think so, not anyone I can think of at least."

"My parents had a house when we were kids," Luke broke in. "We used to go up all the time. They sold it a few years ago, though."

"Dang," Kurt pouted. "I wonder how much it would be to rent a place?"

Rachel shrugged. She stood up and walked over to grab her phone from where her bag was sitting on the piano. "If we all go in on it, it probably wouldn't be too bad."

"Wait, wait," Blaine spoke up. "Are we really gonna do this?"

Kurt shrugged as he looked over Mel's shoulder where she had pulled her phone out as well. "Maybe...doesn't hurt to look, does it?"

Blaine looked down the table at Luke and shook his head with a smile. Sam was already talking about how he had two weeks in June to play around with, and so did Rachel. They had been talking about going home, but this sounded more fun anyway. Luke took another bite of his crumble and shrugged back at Blaine, pulling out his own phone.

"I'll text my mom," he said. "See if she knows anyone who might rent to us for a good deal."