Prompt by fuckyeahnatesmith on Tumblr: "Kurt corners Dave one day in the Choir Room. Dave was singing One Step At A Time (The acoustic version) by Four Year Strong. Kurt pries, trying to find out why Dave just can't come out yet, and then Dave finally just breaks down and starts crying and explains to him why. Parents would kick him out, he's also not outing himself while dating Santana because she needs him as much as he needs her. Something along those lines. OMFG. So, in that fact, Dave explains to kurt that no matter what, he puts others in front of himself. That's why he couldn't just come out. Especially because he was still dating Santana, and then people would start asking around and rumors and everything, and they'd eventually find out about Santana as well. Hit me like a sack of bricks because you see Santana freak out when Dave is just standing there. You can see it in her face, the question 'Oh shit. If he dances with Kurt, he's out. And if he's out, then...OH NO.'"

Title: The First Step Is A Doozy!

Rating: K+

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sometimes it's hard to say the right thing the right way on the hardest day of your life.

Timeline: Approximate time of the season finale, post-Nationals, at the end of the year. In fact, the last day of school their junior year. AU after Prom Queen.


A sound wafts from the choir room like a scent: alluring, faint but growing stronger, and it gets better and better as Kurt nears it.

It brings him into the empty room, and really, Kurt doesn't know how he managed to forget his backpack on the last day of school, but it wound up being a happy accident anyhow, because it's led him here.

"One step at a time
One foot in front of the other
I'm gonna get through this one way or another
'Cause I know it's warmer where you are
'Cause no matter how far the view
I still always look up to you…
"

There's an acoustic guitar mixed with the straining sound of the person's voice, as if they are on the brink of tears, but not crying just yet, because their voice is still dry and clear.

"Sometimes it takes a second to sink in –"

"David?" Kurt more gasps than says as he enters the room, simultaneously spying both the boy in question and the forgotten messenger bag in the corner near his usual chair. Dave himself is in the center of the room, having a jamming session with himself, but his face is terribly forlorn and as soon as he hears his name, he ceases nearly all motion. It takes Kurt a moment to see that Dave is still breathing.

"Kurt," Dave responds with a weak voice, and Kurt is suddenly brought back to that day in the hallway a few weeks prior. The jocks goes on as he hastily sets down the guitar and returns it to its place with all the other band equipment, "I didn't hear you come in. What are you doing here? School's already let out. The year's over."

"I… I know," Kurt says slowly, making his way through the room to pick up his bag. "I came back for this. I forgot it, and it has my yearbook in it. That's my excuse; but what's yours? Were you… were you just singing?"

Dave looks mildly surprised. "Oh. Uh. Yeah, I… I guess I was."

Kurt keeps his tone and face calm. He picks a chair in the first row nearest to Dave and sits down in it, his legs crossing, hands resting under his thighs. "It was tragically beautiful. What song was it? I don't recognize it."

"'One Step At A Time' by Four Year Strong. –Look, Kurt, you should go home."

"So should you," the slighter boy counters fluidly. "We can leave together, if you like. You can escort me one last time, like you had before Prom." He doesn't miss how Dave flinches at the word 'Prom.' "In fact, you can even go as far as to tell me why you were singing that song, David. People don't choose songs to sing to themselves unless they feel the lyrics of it. And by the sound of it, you were singing something from deep in your heart. What's on your mind?"

"I dunno, Kurt… I just was singing 'cause I felt like it and it's a song I know, that's all. Maybe all I was doing was thinkin' about joining this stupid club next year. Why are you pushing this?" Dave retorts, a bit on edge. He Sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That came out wrong."

"I'd say so. You fell back into your default jerkiness for a minute there," Kurt answers with a defensive tilt of his head. He looks pointedly at the other boy, satisfied when Dave meets his gaze. "Look, Dave, I know I'm probably the last person you want around right now, but I'm here and I know enough about you – the real you – to hear you out. No one is going to overhear, and I might be able to help. What's wrong? Why can't you tell me, or come Out, or even finish a song because I'm here to hear it?"

And that's when it happens: Dave Karofsky, for the third time this year, breaks down in front of Kurt Hummel. The first time he broke, he kissed Kurt and dashed off sniffling. The second time he shattered, he bore his heart and soul to Kurt by apologizing sincerely and crying. And this time…

"I… I can't, Kurt," he sobs, shoulders hunching and his face being buried in his hands. "My… my mom, she… she's not like my dad. My dad, he'll stand by me and not care if I'm gay, but my mom? She'd scream and yell and disown me, I just know it. She always sees gays on TV and says how disgusting they are, and my dad always has to calm her down and tell her that they aren't disgusting, they're just normal people who happen to love the same gender, and that it's the only difference. And Santana… I can't leave her alone, Kurt. She can't be alone with her secret like I was with mien before she came along. She… she needs me. She's been a friend to me, believe it or not. And… and I just… I couldn't take the pressure of coming Out, Kurt. I'm not built for it like you are."

"Built for it?" Kurt parrots softly. "What do you mean, Dave?" And he's moved closer, scooting his chair flush in front of the huddled jock, his arm soothing rubbing circles on Dave's back.

"You're so much stronger than I am," Dave croaks, hiccupping lightly at the end. "You… you took all that abuse – me, the Prom thing, all of it – and you just… you took it in stride and toughed it out and still kept your game face on. Okay, so you went to that school for a while, but that was my fault. Anyone would have left after what I did. B-but, even so… you're still you, Kurt," Dave says, sniffling as he finally looks up and locks gazes with Kurt.

Their faces are close enough to feel the heat radiating off of each other, and if Kurt moves another two inches inward, theirs noses would touch tips. His hand stills its ministrations on Dave's back, and his eyes search the red, watery ones of the larger boy.

"You never lost sight of who you were, even after all that pain. But… I don't even know who I am, Kurt. I lost myself a long time ago. And for a while, I thought finding him would mean denying that I'm… I-I'm gay, that leaving the chance that I'm straight and in my mother's eyes, 'normal.' But I think I accept that much about myself. But I can't present it to anyone else, y'know? Not… not until I can find the rest of myself and become stronger, like you," he murmurs in a hushed tone, his eyes leaving Kurt's whenever he speaks of himself, but reconnecting whenever he refers to Kurt.

"You know," Kurt remarks gently as he continues his comforting rubs on Dave's shoulders over his shirt, "I'm not as strong as I seem. Why do you think I ran away? I'm hurt all the time because I'm out. But I'm able to keep that 'sense of self' you mentioned because I am mostly myself with everyone else. I try not to hide, pretend, or hide. If you just did that, David – if you just acted as tender as you actually are – I'm sure people would like you just as much, even more. How come you only act that way around me, though?"

"Because you get me," Dave says with a bitter laugh, leaning back and forcing Kurt to drop his hand. He rubs his eyes, then looks at Kurt. "You probably understand more about me than I do right now. You're really intuitive, you know that?"

Kurt smiles the faintest bit. "I'm somewhat aware, yes." His face falls again as he looks at Dave intensely. "Do you want to know something else?"

Dave exhales shakily, eyes adverting their gaze. He wets his lips and asks, "Sure, I guess. What is it?"

"You're a selfless person, Dave. You might not think so – I can tell by the way you talk about yourself – but you're thinking of Santana over yourself, and your mother over yourself. You don't want to disappoint or hurt either one of them."

The closeted jock stares at him, his mouth gaping slightly. "You… you really think that?"

"Of course I do," Kurt says slowly. He reaches out and takes Dave's hand in his, and he notes that Dave is not unable to remove his gaze from their locks hands, as if shocked that Kurt would willingly touch him like that. "In fact, I wonder: did you not dance with me because you didn't want to hurt Santana who was standing right there, about to sing?"

Dave nods dumbly. "Y-yeah. I… I just knew that if I chose right then and there to do it, when I'm supposed to be her date and everything, she… she might get Outed, too, and being the girl she is, I don't think she could take it as well with people as I could, and I can hardly take it myself. I just… have this sinking fear of that blackmail of us knowing each other's secrets blowing up in her face and not mine. It just… seems so wrong that way."

Kurt nods slowly, understandingly. He gives Dave's hand a squeeze. "You're so different than I thought you were, David. And now I fully understand why you can't come Out yet. It makes sense: your mother, Santana, your own insecurities." He releases Dave's hand and looks into his eyes, and for once, Dave holds Kurt's gaze. Kurt's expression crumbles, and he nearly cries. His voice cracks as he says, "I just wish I could help you more."

"Trust me, Kurt," Dave murmurs as he stands up and keeps Kurt's gaze as he helps the smaller boy stand as well, "You've already helped me more than I could've ever asked for from you."

Kurt smiles minutely. "I'm glad. But you know, Dave..."

"…Huh?"

"You really should join Glee. You have a raw talent there."