I'm sorry for the late update! I know I promised this sooner, but my daughter got an ear infection and it's nearly Christmas so there's baking and decorating and too much cleaning than I want to deal with.
Also I got a rude letter about my characterization skills. I apologize; I assumed that because I put "AU" that you would know that I'm just taking the names and basic, basic personalities. Cas is more of a free spirit, open, do-whatever-I-want kinda guy, whereas Dean is an uptight with OCD type of man. Again. AU.
So this fic was supposed to be really cute and sweet. But I'm sorry I ruin everything so now it's about sex. Yeah. There's no over-descriptive porn in here (sorry if that's what you're looking for…) but there is suggestion and a little pre-sexy-times description. And some curses. Hope I don't end up scarring anybody. That's also why I've changed the rating to M, in case you're wondering. Hi, glad to meet you. Megan. Paranoid bastard.
And now, after a terribly long note, here you go!
Six month later
Dean was not ready to be in a "real" relationship with Cas. It was real; they went on dates and kissed, but not real in the terms of . . . sexual type stuff. That kinda thing made Dean nervous. Cas didn't pressure Dean at all, but Dean still felt like the prudey girlfriend who wouldn't put out. When Cas would slip a hand there and a little bit of groping here, Dean would stop all together. Just completely shut down.
Dean wants it, oh, boy, does he want it. But he's nervous.
He's never been that close with another guy. He only knows everything because he reads so much smutty fanfic (that shit was educational, okay? Well… not that one that had the noodles thing… that was just weird). He doesn't know who would top or who would bottom in this relationship. He doesn't know if he or Cas would provide condoms and lube—or if they would even use condoms and lube (it was a fairly even split on both in the fanfic).
When he thinks about the sex itself, it makes him so nervous that he sometimes almost throws up. But when he thinks about Cas being the one to touch him, about Cas being inside him… He feels an overwhelming surge of love.
So he finally works up the courage to do it. He buys everything the internet says he'll need, but at a different store. Not the one Cas worked at. Because, just, no. He cleans his apartment, washes the bed sheets (twice) and tries to make everything as perfect as he can. He gets a pie for them to share.
After dinner on a Friday night, Dean brings it up.
"Um, Cas?" Dean asks. They're in the Impala now, and Dean should be driving Cas home now.
"Yeah?" Cas looks over at him with those eyes. Dean nearly loses his train of thought.
"Uh—do you, maybe, wanna come over to my place for . . . dessert?" Dean's never done this before, not after a date.
Cas understands immediately.
"Sure. I'd love that," he says quietly with a small grin.
Dean nods, and drives them to his apartment.
When Dean opens the door, Cas takes in the room. It's not the first time he's seen it, but it feels different, knowing what's going to happen.
Dean goes straight for the kitchen, serves two pieces of pie on one plate, and sits close to Cas on the sofa. Cas gets the hint, and twines his ankle around Dean's as they eat. Once the final bite of pie passes Cas' lips, Dean is there, too.
Their kisses start out slow, but quickly—very quickly—turn heated. They lick into each other's mouths, Cas grabbing Dean's shoulder to hold him slightly closer.
Dean wants closer. He swings his leg around to the other side of Cas so that he's suddenly straddling him. Cas squeaks in surprise, but grabs Dean's shoulders to bring them closer. Dean's got his fingers splayed across Cas' chest. His right hand slowly inches up to grab Cas' hair, pull lightly.
Cas moans, and his hips jerk. They are both suddenly very aware of the other's erection.
"Dean," Cas murmurs. He pulls his lips away to speak. "Dean—are you sure? We don't have to do anything more, Dean, it's up to you. Just tell me what you want."
"I want you, Cas—fuck, I've always wanted you. I think—I think I love you, Cas. No—I know I do. I love you, Cas. I love you so much it hurts."
Cas' eyes get wide, get a bit bright, and his mouth opens and shuts like a fish.
"Dean—" he chokes. "I love you, too, Dean. I think ever since that first day, I've loved you."
Dean attacks Cas' mouth, and they continue into bliss.
It turned out that Dean bottomed, and he liked it very much, thank you. They ended up using the lube and a condom, because, hey, nobody wants an unexpected STD, right?
Dean was so freaking happy it was unbelievable. Cas seemed just as thrilled.
It will be another six months before Cas moves in with Dean. It will be two years after that before same-sex marriage is legalized in their state. Dean and Cas are the first couple in line. Four years after they get married, they will be approved for the adoption of a little redheaded girl. Anna loves both her daddies very much.
After everything, Dean didn't get so nervous anymore. Not when he was around Cas.
