**M-warning**
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-Colors in Autumn-
-Chapter Two-
[all over again]
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When her phone alarm sounded off the next morning, Sora stirred into consciousness. Without opening her eyes, she reminded herself that she wasn't in her apartment, where her bed wasn't as soft as the one she currently laid in. She turned her body to make sure her own pillows weren't next to her, only to feel the weight of Tai's arm on her stomach.
She opened her eyes, her mind racing through the events of the night before. She had one more bottle of cider than she normally had on a weeknight, but her conscious remained clear-she fought that urge to kiss Tai until she let that urge take over at the train station. When they made it to the hotel bed, her desire for him only burst as she savored his lips hungrily tasting hers, sneaking gentle bites on her lower lip. She ran her hands all over his muscled skin which she had been longing to feel again, and she had no doubt his craving was just as dangerous, with his mouth on her chest and his fingers inside of her. Her desire only fueled her when she rode him over and over as she pleased, and then let him take over, feeling his slow thrusting quicken its pace until they were both satisfied. This other fight within her- to resist herself from sounding out her pleasure, calling his name-was one she couldn't even try to win.
They went at it a few more times, not unlike how they used to. Tai had enough stamina to match hers. When they both fell into each others' arms, finally exhausted, she watched him drift to sleep with a smile across his face, and she succumbed to euphoria as she fell asleep.
The morning after their rendezvous, she peered over to look at him, though her face met the tips of his hair as it tickled against her nose and cheeks. His face hid behind her shoulder from the light peeking through the window.
"Mm," he went as he inched closer to nuzzle against her.
Sora knew that Tai wasn't a morning person. She kept her gaze on him, remembering the struggle they both had at university when waking up for their classes. She herself had no problem waking up early, even if the rush of cool air met her skin the moment she removed the covers off her. The struggle for her was prying Tai off of her so she could actually leave the bed.
"Tai, I need to go," she began in a hush, so as not to sound harsh for either of them. "You should get up, too."
"Mm," he repeated, not moving a muscle.
"I need to head home to change for work. It is still a weekday, you know."
"No.." he whined. "It's too early to move…"
Sora sighed.
"Taichi-kun…" she said, her voice shifting into a soothing, motherly tone that she found he responded to best. "Can you wake up for Sora? Her life depends on this job, and if she's late, you'll never hear the end of it…"
"Fine… fine…" he grunted, finally lifting his arm from her. Sora sat up, pulling the duvet over her bare chest. She watched him sit up next to her, his eyelids still heavy as he held himself up leaning on his arms. He stared blankly toward the bed, his hair all askew, his mouth slightly downturn. As irritating as Tai tended to be in the morning, Sora couldn't deny how adorable she found him.
"What is it, Sora?" he asked when he registered her gaze on him. She continued to stare back, unsure of how to respond. She missed waking up with him like this, bantering with him about all the little things as they got dressed for the day.
She blinked and shook her head a little, forcing herself to stop the memories from replaying. She turned away from him, to prevent herself from changing her mind about him.
"I'm heading out," she said, standing up with the duvet over her. She walked to and fro to dress into the clothes they carelessly scattered onto the floor the night before, and she tossed Tai's clothes to over him as she came across them. "I need to get home, shower, make sure I catch the train to be on time…"
"Sora.." he called from the bed, sounding less groggy.
"I have so much to do. I need to make sure I get some designs done by the end of the week. My portfolio is due by the end of the month and I've been pacing myself but I feel incredibly behind…"
She sounded out the words that ran in her head-the ones she preferred hearing over the nagging, whispering words that entertained the idea of involving herself with the ex-boyfriend in front of her. Sora threw the duvet back onto the bed and buttoned up her blouse, hoping that he wouldn't realize her habit of avoiding subjects, but she also knew it was foolish to hope that every time.
Even as she felt him stare at her then.
"Sora," he said again, now out of bed in his boxer shorts. "What about us?"
Sora turned to him, straightening her skirt.
"You know how we ended things, Tai," she said. "We weren't there for each other we needed to be. Don't you remember how hard it was after we graduated? We barely had time for each other. We fought so much that I started wondering if I hated you."
Tai continued to stare at her curiously, as though he tried to read her.
"You don't have an ounce of hate in your body, Sora."
She waved her hand feistily through the cool air to give a case in point.
"You don't hate me, though," he went on, approaching her. "You've never hated me, even if you've gotten angry with me enough to wonder."
Sora watched him silently, his eyes still on hers. His words exuded such confidence for her to lose track of her own will to argue against him.
"Can't we make time for each other?" he asked, their faces close now, his voice soft. "I'm here now. I can make time for you."
But Sora's eyes flashed. "For how long, Tai?" she asked. "You said this trip was temporary. You'll be here a few weeks, and then what?" She walked to the bathroom, leaving the door open as she finger combed her hair to straighten its kinks. She knew he would follow her in to argue back.
"So what was last night then?" he retorted back, raising his voice. "A fling? Is that what we've been downgraded to?"
"No." she said, calmly, making sure her face was free of makeup smudges.
"Did it mean nothing to you? If it didn't mean anything, then what else could it have been?"
"It wasn't a fling." She eyed Tai from the mirror's reflection and noticed him sigh as he ran his hand through his hair and lean against the door frame. If there was one thing she hated at that moment, it was seeing him look so dejected. Sora sighed again.
"Taichi-kun…" she walked over to him, gently massaging his shoulders and down his arms. She couldn't help but frown, her heart feeling slightly heavier. "You're right. I can't hate you. You mean a lot to me, but… You remember how ugly it was between us after university. How many times did we slam doors on each other? All that fighting… It hurt me, and I know it hurt you, too. That's why we agreed to break up, right?"
"It feels like that, all over again…"
Sora didn't want to admit it, but seeing him moping made her heart break. She needed to remind him about the good things about their breakup.
"Tai, look at where you are now. If we were still together, you would have missed out on the job you've always dreamed of having. And, I mean, look at me-I'm still trying to get to my dream job."
"Being a Chief Financial Officer of a world-renowned Chinese company isn't the only dream for me, Sora," he said. "You can't tell me the only thing you dream about is becoming a fashion designer."
Sora furrowed her brow, feeling confused. "What else is there, Tai? I thrive in designing things. I'd love to become a designer and make clothes that people would love to wear."
"There really is nothing else?"
Sora shook her head.
"So, you become one." Tai had a tinge of annoyance in his voice. "Everyone's going to love you. Then what? Is that all what 'living the dream' is for you?"
Lifting her hands away from him, Sora stepped back, feeling extremely offended. "What do you mean, 'is that all' , Tai? Is my dream not good enough for your standards?"
"...That's not what I meant, Sora. At all."
Sora fumed.
"I really should get going. Like I said, I need to go to work. You should probably get ready, too, I don't want to get in your way. Don't get in mine. It'll be best for the both of us."
"Sora-"
Sora stomped away, hastily putting her scarf around her neck. She felt a different kind of heat, one of anger boiling in her chest and up to her head. It was arguments like this with him that steered her away from him, where they couldn't see eye-to-eye, and desperately tried and failed to meet each other halfway.
She grabbed her coat laying on the bed, and Tai put his hand on hers to stop her.
"Sora, wait. Don't do this. I don't want you leaving angry."
"Well I'm going to," was her bitter response. "It'll give me a good reminder as to why I shouldn't be with you."
She tried force past him, but he stood firm with her.
"Please, Sora, hear me out."
Observing his guilty expression, Sora could tell he wanted to reason with her. Although she felt her eyes flashing with anger, she waited for him to talk.
"You know that I can say things one way meaning one thing, but you end up taking it the wrong way."
She stared at him, reluctantly letting him take her coat from her hands for him to straighten out for her.
"I've always supported everything you want to do, just like you've always done for me. I think you're amazing at anything you do, and I think you'd make a kickass fashion designer."
"Sure, you do," she said, nonchalantly. There he was, saying something completely opposite to what he implied just moments ago. But she let him continue.
"Trust me, Sora, I know your talent. When you put your mind to something, you're always going to end up with something really incredible. I would put a good word in for you if you were even interested in handling money and crunching numbers-and not just because you're banging in bed."
Sora let out an involuntary laugh. When he looked at her, she put her hand up to her mouth, feeling her cheeks redden with embarrassment.
"But, really, anyone can see it," he continued, "not just me. I mean, you'd stay up late and I'd watch you sketch sometimes until I fell asleep. I might not know too much about fashion, but, your drawings were pretty cool..."
Tai shifted uncomfortably, looking away as he scratched his head. Helpless as he was, her level of anger had been deflating slowly, until she was reduced to a fit of giggles.
"Don't worry about your fashion sense, Tai," she responded amused, at his confused stare. "You do know how to look good in a suit."
Realizing the change in her mood, he gave her a smirk, and as her laughter died down, they stood in silence as she trapped herself in his gaze yet again.
She had to end it now before they got too deep.
"I'll be off, then..." she said, and Tai whirled around to put help her put on her coat.
"Let me pay for a cab," he said. "It's the least I could do for luring you here."
Sora laughed. "At least let me take some of the blame. I'll take a cab, but don't worry about paying for it."
"Always thinking of others before yourself."
Tai handed her purse over, and they stood facing each other on either side of the front door frame.
"Are you sure you don't want an extra jacket?" he asked, putting his hands on either side of her shoulders.
"I might dread the weather, Tai, but I can get through it." Sora made sure her scarf was adjusted properly.
"Well," Tai said through a sigh. "I'll be here if you need anything. Even when I'm overseas."
Surveying his eyes, Sora knew he accepted the state of things between them-that she didn't want to rekindle between the two of them, and that she was set on letting their relationship wither in the cold.
Hopefully it would encourage her to keep convincing herself, too.
"I'll see you at Mimi and Izzy's wedding, Tai," she said. "I can still be your 'plus one,' if you want."
"I'll let you know," he said with a sad smile.
She smiled back, but as he closed the door and she walked down the hallway of the hotel, she realized her lower lids forming a warm sting. It really did feel like breaking up all over again.
The heater was on as she passed through the lobby, but the cold never left her.
Sora hailed a cab when she reached the curb. She was amazed that she still had enough time by the end of the ride to shower, have breakfast, and catch her regular train to make it to work. The day would continue as normal, whether or not Tai stayed imprinted in her mind.
As she opened her wallet to pay for her fare, she felt something drop to the floor. Picking it up, she recognized a credit card that didn't belong to her, but had the name "Yagami Taichi" etched along the plastic.
Sora held the card up at eye-level, dumbfounded.
"Takenouchi-san?" the driver asked, and she blinked at him.
"Sorry," she said, and then added, "Goddammit, Tai" as she fished out her own credit card to hand to the driver.
She'd have to return the card back to Tai, but she knew for a fact that she was going to find a way to give it back without seeing him again.
She was going to avoid running into him again with whatever it took, no matter what.
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A/N: This was longer than it was meant to be, but I can just tell this is going to be a loooong fic with a lot to divulge ;) I'm definitely taking my time with this one. Hope you guys stick around.
Some other S1 kids will appear next chapter. We do have an upcoming wedding, after all. ^.^
Replies to my reviewers:
Vigatus: Yes... yes, it is. XD
Taiora4ever: Your chosen name makes me incredibly happy. I'm so glad you're interpreting it that way. But, honestly, I stamped this "Taiora" for a reason, but we, uh, may have a long road ahead of us.
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That's all from your resident Taiora maniac.
Thanks for reading.
..Stay warm..
