A/N: SURPRISE.

Again!

Trying to get my mojo back one cleaned up chapter at a time. Things will be slightly different. Hopefully problems will be sorted. Relationship and dynamics improved. Thank you for sticking with me and my process of writing.
_

I followed the two small men through the city, bare feet a little unsteady after so long without any kind of exercise whatsoever, feeling that odd disorientating sense of being too tall and clumsy to really belong here- towering over these smaller men and lumbering around in dirty bare feet around pretty mostly androgynous beings.

It was clear that we'd sneak no where fast if I kept trying to do this in a dress. It was too lovely for bushes. Too delicate. Too far down my feet for sneaking. We had to turn back so I could change, which Pippin used as an excuse to smoke the pipe he'd refilled. Merry was soon puffing next to him.

In the room I'd woken in there was dresses within a wardrobe of sorts, only six or so, but each with the same absurd level of craftsmanship as the one I wore now. Pastels seemed to be the thing to wear, soft purples, blues, greens, or mixtures of these with greys. Within drawers of this wardrobe were things between leggings and pants, much like one I'd slipped on under my dress, the thick good kind that looked like they were designed for riding or something with their slightly wider legs but thick fabric. Long tops were apparently folded beside them. Jackets. Nice. We were getting somewhere. I supposed this was riding stuff. Or was it mens clothing? There was no way to really be sure. From the limited stuff I'd seen around here I wouldn't dismiss the idea.

In a hurry I changed. Dress folded up, long top on, sleeves and neckline tied up with laces, and jacket. Pause frequently because my body seemed to think dressing was too much.

Taking a step outside I had to admit- it felt more comfortable. Free. I could move better. Whoever I was- and I still didn't know my own damn name- I must be more of a pants-and-shirt kind of person. Dresses were just a bit too intimidating in effort.

"You a man?" Merry's voice cut into my daze.

"A pretty man?" Pippin's eyes openly trailed down to my chest where, although the jacket hid it better, I still clearly had feminine attributes. "No, she's a woman."

"Wouldn't know it with that clothing." Merry said bluntly.

I didn't really care though. I did the buttons up on the jacket and shrugged. "Doesn't bother me what you see me as. Its comfortable."

"Up to you." Merry turned. "Let's go!"

Off we went. Weaving through a mind boggling amount of beauty, gardens, statues, fountains and waterfalls, ponds full of jewelled fish, buildings that were silver and birch with tall arched windows and perfectly white curtains barely concealing the inside from the paths. The entire city was within a valley, protected and held between two tall hills that looked too steep and high to cross, yet the sun clearly set in the right position for there to be a lot of light even as the day grew long. There was a river that charged and danced under everything the city was built of- incorporated into half the gardens, I suspected, and itself surrounded by buildings.

There was an infinite amount of care and love in a place like this. I couldn't deny but see that with every bend in the path. Benches carved from stone were frequent, and I had to sit, so as I did I'd watch the hobbits pause beside me to gape with open awe. Progress wasn't that fast between my body's limitations and the curiosity of Pippin and Merry who often couldn't resist peeking into windows, through doors or staring openly at the Elves we crossed paths with.

In such a place I suspected I'd get lost fast without them. I had a bad thought suddenly. What if they got lost? Expected me to know the way? I had to ask.
"How long have you two been here?"

"A week." Pippin replied as he glanced back. I kept thinking of him as a child but he wasn't. He had lines in his face and signs of aging in his skin. But he had that childish thing in his eyes, this excitement, this curiosity that made him look younger. He might have been thirty in reality. Might have been a really young fifty. I couldn't tell by looking at him.

"You know where we're going?"

We had paused to stare through the trees, voices lowering automatically, watching Elves down on soft grass below. They were twirling, dancing, laughing, free and joyful as autumn leaves danced around them. There was a kind of glorious magic in their dancing, in their songs, and while I couldn't understand the words I could feel it. Love, maybe? Maybe it was that simple. The joy of living.

"Where are we going?"

"Frodo and Sam have gone to a meeting. Without us. They were all dressed up and nervous. I know, I just know, they're up to something. Without us!" Merry whispered. He crowded on my either side. "We need to go, Pip."

"I know." Pippin withdraw, as did I, and the pace seemed to pick up. I did my best to keep up with them.

"So who are they? And you?"

"Oh! You wouldn't know. We're Hobbits, you see, and we're all from the Shire. I'm Pippin, this is Merry, and our friends Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee. Where are you from?"

"I don't remember." Why was this making me crave cheese? My brain was coming up with images of giant cheese wheels, loaves of bread, giant pumpkins, and other such food. Weird. Was this a memory or a ...craving? I supposed I'd only eaten fruit today.

"Oh. Right."

We froze suddenly. The two of them ducked back out of sight, and I copied, almost by instinct. Merry covered Pippin's mouth, a gesture unnecessary, and we watched as a pair of Elves passed by.

It occurred to me that they probably knew we were there. Surely. Any moment I expected them to swing around, point their spears at us, and demand we go back to our rooms.

They continued on, legs swinging in perfect synchronised steps, feet absolutely silent on the path, faces obscured by helmet and hair. Beautiful but a bit scary too. I bet they could wield those spears with similar beautiful synchronised deadliness and decided that I'd never try to find out just how willing they would be to use them.

When they were some distance away along the path Merry grinned and stepped out into the late afternoon sun. He had to be around thirty too, I realised, but he was like Pippin- every time they smiled, or grinned, or got that look in their eye, they looked like teenagers. Naughty teenagers joyfully about to do something that would get them in a lot of trouble.

I suddenly wondered what the hell I'd gotten myself into by following these two. Oh boy. With such infectious smiles I couldn't help but smile a fraction too. Even with the growing apprehension that I was probably doing something really wrong.

Ah well. Had to do something to amuse myself.

Down the path we went. The area we were entering into seemed to be far more spaced out, gardens and forest between buildings, windows obscured and protected from prying eyes with beautifully grown flowering trees. It seemed almost unnaturally perfect. Streams of water danced across large smooth pebbles under small arched bridges, twisting wooden handrails of vines growing just high enough for palms to touch soft leaves and bark, little courtyards off the main path with arched walls.

We had to hide again, then again, as the guards increased.

"We must be close." Merry decided after the third patrol.

"Do you know where you're going though?"

"Sure. This way." Pippin decided as he jabbed in a direction. No argument from Merry.

We crept slowly along, trying to keep out of sight when we could, and trying to walk innocently when we couldn't get away with it. This involved walking, smiling nicely, and Pippin jabbing his head in a nod at an Elf or two. Of course they noticed, of course they stared, but then they didn't stop us either.

I had this really bad feeling that I was doing something really stupid.

Merry froze suddenly at the entrance to a courtyard and I was yanked sideways behind one of the immaculate bushes, as was Pippin, the three of us suddenly crowded up with sticks jabbing into bits. Ivy was parted just slightly to allow us the smallest sliver of a view.

A courtyard. Full of people. Men, small but bulky bearded men, small men like these two, and Elves. We could hear voices and we could see them all, if we moved our head, the gap allowing for one or two faces at a time.

As the words were spoken I had the most bizarre sense of dejavu. It was like I'd heard them before. I could almost picture the faces of whoever was speaking without having to look directly at them.

"-forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people! Are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"

"You cannot wield it. None of us can. The one ri-"

My concentration was interrupter by Merry who was pointing out to me one of the little men in the gathering. He looked out of place and a little uncomfortable, the chair far too big for him, eyes fixed on either a pillar in the middle or on the ground.

"That's Frodo."

"Where's Sam though?"

I saw also that Legolas was there. The blonde angel who'd yanked me out of the river. His less friendly companion sat beside him.

Legolas was suddenly on his feet, between a man with dark blonde hair and another with dark brown. It was easy to make out his words. "This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

Okay. Son of blah blah. This was a weird way to introduce someone to me. Unless the blonde man knew Aragorn's father personally but ...didn't know he had a kid?

Whatever. Families could be complicated. The bigger issue seemed to be

Right now I was confused about why they were arguing over a ring. Yet, it was so familiar. All of it. It felt like I'd already seen it, all of it, but …

"Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?" The blonde man actually looked a bit shocked.

"And heir to the throne of Gondor." Legolas must have not had enough of the 'rubbing salt in wound', because he added, eyes fixed on the blonde man.

I almost said 'Ooooh' out loud. Right. Families in this situation were apparently very complicated- because the heir to a throne was apparently a shock. I supposed that would be. I had some memory reminding me that entire countries went to war fighting over which heir was the right heir.

The dark haired man sounded kind of frustrated. Like he hadn't wanted to reveal this now. "Havo dad, Legolas."

The blonde man scowled. "Gondor has no King. Gondor needs no king."

Yep. Complicated. Maybe they'd had some kind of rebellion. Ended the monarchy or something. I'd have to ask if I could ever admit I'd been here in the first place.

There was a pause as the men sat there, a kind of awkward pause, until the old man spoke up. I sat there on my legs, staring in, as they continued to have their meeting. I was hooked now though. This was interesting stuff. Merry and Pippin clearly had a good idea.

"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it."

"You have only one choice. The ring must be destroyed."

I twisted my head between each unknown speaker, nicknaming them as they spoke, Beards, The Brow, ect.

One of the small men with beard leapt up, axe in hand. "Then what are we waiting for?" He charged for it with the axe, striking something tiny on the pillar in the middle of them all, and to my absolute fucking shock the entire damn axe EXPLODED. Metal went everywhere. The poor hairy man went flying backwards, almost comically, landing on his ass in amongst pieces of his former weapon.

I flinched, so did Merry and Pippin, as pieces of the man's axe flew past us. I missed the first part of Beard as I tried to get a grip on my nerves.

"-ust be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this." The calm voice finally made sense to my frazzled brains. I had missed the first of what he'd said but I supposed there was something that had to be ...burnt?

Okay then.

If it could make axes explode then I'd want to burn it too.

Beard's voice was weird though. It was familiar. So familiar. Like I could just say the words with them. This entire thing. It felt like I knew exactly what they'd do as they did it.

I opened my mouth, wordlessly finding myself saying the words with the blonde man, much to my surprise and the surprise of Pippin who did a double take as his head swung between me and the crowd.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is an evil there that does not sleep and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."

Word for word. I got it all correct. I didn't know why. A little creeped out by this, a little too creeped out, I slammed my mouth shut. Accidentally made eye contact with Pippin, who blinked at me, and I blinked back.

Merry hadn't noticed, his eyes were on the meeting, and Pippin's eyes went from me to the meeting slowly as Legolas spoke again.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed." Lord Elrond? That must have been who was speaking.

This was about a ring? Seriously? A ring made the axe explode?

The little man with the beard spoke up again. "And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?"

"And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?" The blonde man clearly was not satisfied with this, he was almost ready to stand, I saw his shoulders tensing and bunching up as if he was seconds from standing all over again.

It wasn't just him though- everyone in that meeting, except Frodo, looked tense and angry, like they were seconds from punching someone in the face. The little beard man was the first to rise up though, fast, anger and resentment all over his face. People were just about ready to start smacking each other in the face.

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf!"

That did it. People on feet, voices raised, languages charging at each other, words almost impossible to make out from our viewpoint. Now would probably be a good time to slip away and pretend like we'd heard nothing of this. I was about to suggest it when Pippin spoke.

"Wonder where Sam is?" Pippin said softly, pretty lighthearted for the moment, as he shifted closer to my side to see better. "Can you see him, Merry?"

"Shh, Pippin. We'll get caught." Merry hissed and nudged him

A soft voice rose over the loud din of the arguments. Something about someone taking it. It was a weirdly effective thing. The storm of voices and anger seemed to fizzle out as a small figure stepped out from his over-sized chair. Smaller than them all, even the small bulky men, and the youngest of them all, he shouldn't have been able to over-talk them ...but he was.

"Frodo?" Pippin blinked.

"-I'll take it." Frodo was saying, as the crowd turned in his direction, partly blocking him from view. "Though...I do not know the way."

Beards had his back. He shuffled across, dodging what I assumed were sharp chunks of axe, his calm voice and demenour reassuring Frodo as he responded, "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear."

More movement, and another voice, the dark haired man. Son of... I didn't remember. The surprise heir to Gonder.

"If, by my life or death, I can protect you I will. You have my sword."

"And you have my bow."

That was Legolas. I knew the voice without having to see him speak it.

"And my axe."

"You carry the fate of us all, little one." The angry blonde man seemed to have calmed down as well. For now. I could see him now, the crowd was clearing, see the little group standing around Frodo. "If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."

That was ...nice of him. I wondered if I'd ever trust someone who could go from angry to calm so fast. There was something about him that bothered me and I couldn't quite place it. Before I could think more on it another voice, from bushes just across from us, shouted out.

"Here!"

"Sam!" Pippin exclaimed, spitting out bread (where the hell did he get that bread?) as he sat up straighter, alert now. "There's Sam!"

"Shh, I know!" Merry jabbed him, standing, like he was getting ready to run off. Pippin stood too, and I stood slowly, my knees aching from kneeling on the cold stone.

" Mr. Frodo's not gong anywhere without me." This Sam placed himself at Frodo's side.

"No, Indeed...it is hardly possible to separate you...even when he is summoned to a secret council ...and you are not." He sounded sort of amused.

I felt kind of sick suddenly. Secret meeting? Oh crap. I mean, I saw the guards, sure, but I hadn't really thought about it. A few hours as their conscious guest and I was already doing the wrong thing.

Merry jolted forward, suddenly, Pippin following him, one of Pippin's hands on my wrist. His precious bread loaf crashed to the ground in his haste. I had no choice but to follow, as I was taken by surprise and almost toppled after them, feet catching me before I did a dramatic crash n roll.

" Oi! We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us."

Legolas caught my eyes and I saw surprise, just briefly, flash across his face. Concern? Well. I had almost fallen on my face. I flushed as I was dragged past a bunch of strangers, past this dark haired Elf dude in charge, and Pippin's grip on my wrist only slackened when we were a few feet away and I could put up some decent resistance.

I skidded to a halt. These two might fit in a sack but me? They stood themselves firmly beside their friends and I wished the ground would swallow me up to hide me the fuck away because, damn, woops, I didn't mean to crash a top secret meeting. Adventures were one thing! But this?

"Anyway...you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing..."

"Well, that rules you out, Pip." Merry grinned at his friend.

I felt Lord Elrond's eyes burning into me and I made myself look at him. Tried to communicate that I was sorry.

How did I even know his name?

Did I know these people before I'd hit my head? I stared at him, distracted by memories, aware I knew things about him. I knew that he was a half elf, I knew that he had three grown children, that his wife had been attacked and had suffered so badly that they'd sent her somewhere where she could recover but she'd never return from, I knew that he himself was a twin and his twin was long dead. Things that were private. Things that only someone close should know. This information flashed through my head as our eyes met, and it felt like he'd known what I'd thought, because for a fraction of a second I was sure I saw surprise there. Shock even. I might have just imagined it though because then it was gone. It was so brief that I might have imagioned everything.

Maybe I'd made all that shit up. Maybe I was trying to cope by making shit up.

" Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the "Fellowship of the ring."

"Great. Where are we going?" Pippin grinned. Was he joking or serious?

I wasn't sure.

The meeting broke up at that. Fellowship divided up by race, quite literally, little hairy muscular dudes going off in one direction, the ordinary looking men going off in a few directions without so much as a dirty look at each other, the small men crowding around Frodo, the Elves vanishing in several directions.

Legolas came up to me. He didn't say anything, not a word, but he reached out to brush my arm in a strangely familiar way that made chills go up my arm. I stared uncertaintly after his back as he moved on, following his friends, aware that out of all the people here he was one of three I actually 'knew'. Sort of. I supposed it was natural to be ...a bit drawn … towards someone who saved your ass.

Lord Elrond stepped between me and the Hobbits as I turned to look back at them. He had a strange look on his face and he was joined by Beards- the old man in the grey robe.

"You and I should speak." Lord Elrond. "After the feast tonight."

"After?" Not now?

"After."

No room for argument or discussion over this. I couldn't think of a good reason to argue anyway. I was taken back to my room and left there until dark to stress.

Dinner was a feast as he'd claimed. Food everywhere. It was beautiful, of course, as beautiful as anything else these Elves did, yet I was starting to feel a bit numb to it all. Food piled up. Plates. Music. Drink. Drunk guests, and I was learning the names of every race here with the help of Merry- Hobbits, Dwarves, Men and Elves. I still had no name for myself though and when asked the first thing I could come up with, though I had no reason why, was "Wendy." It was just the first thing that'd popped into my head. It didn't feel like my real name. Yet without my own memories I just had to shrug off the uncomfortable sense of loosing myself and accept it.

In truth I was more concerned with what Lord Elrond and Beards- who turned out to be a wizard called Gandalf- were going to say to me after this feast. However delicious the food was, however bright the stars, however enchanting the music, it was shadowed over by the threat of my own earlier stupidity and the sight of Lord Elrond in deep conversation with Gandalf across the courtyard.

Others were talking of the journey. It clearly would be a long one, maps were out at tables, the Dwarves with their own, Elves and men talking together, the angry blonde man- Boromir- on his own frowning at something in his hands. Plans made. Hobbits cheerful- all except for Frodo, who was quiet, and while I didn't fully understand what his burden was I supposed it had to be heavy from the way he sat stiffly and quietly compared to the other Hobbits.

I'd been trying to come up with a good excuse. I was still half asleep?I thought I was dreaming? I didn't know it was secret? (That one was true, yes, but then again I'd known Pippin and Merry were sneaking around so some part of me must have known they were up to something.) I just couldn't come up with a good excuse. The best thing, I realised, was just to apologise.

And hope they wouldn't throw me back out into the world without a single memory.

Finally as the feast grew late and the hour long I was gestured to by Gandalf. Dread sinking my heard I stood, glancing towards the now fairly drunk Hobbits, before giving up any hope of backup. I could do this. Just apologise. Be an adult. Admit my mistakes.

They turned to make their way into the dark lantern lit paths and I followed on my unsteady legs, drawn along, wondering if I was about to get in deep shit for overhearing things I shouldn't have. There was a small library close by that we ended up in- maps, scrolls, old leather books, big soft chairs. Several Elves were there reading by the light of glass lanterns as they saw Lord Elrond they rose and left quietly leaving the library to us.

I had the distinct feeling that I'd overstepped my boundaries as a guest and done something really stupid. Crap. That was the last time I went on adventures with miniature men. Also, Ireally had to pee. I should have thought of that complication too.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out as Lord Elrond took a seat, gesturing to one for me, and I hurridly sat down. "For eavesdropping."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

I wondered if I asked for sanctuary- would they grant it? Would they give me a bit more time to recover before I stumbled into an unfamiliar world? I wish I could say I'd forgotten the need to pee but in truth the need was more urgent- if only because my anxiety was starting to go up.

"Have you regained any memories?"

Besides potentially all his secrets, his name, his family, his twin? "No. Not really."

"But you remember your name? Wendy." Gandalf probed gently.

"I just said the first one that came to my head. Wendy. I don't know if its mine or not."

Lord Elrond moved to touch the table, closing a book, and his ring caught the light drawing my eye to it. I knew that ring as well. The water ring. A ring of power More knowledge I shouldn't know. That I didn't want or need to know.

He caught me staring at it and I glanced away to safer things on the table, a map, a book, anything else.

"You know things you shouldn't." He stated, softly, stepping towards me, and something in his voice trailed off. It was a question. Even a threat, somewhat, though concealed behind the query.

I wanted to step backwards but I felt rooted to the spot. Lord Elrond moved very close, his long robes shuffling gently in his movement, till he was just inches away.

"I don't know what I know." His height made it easy to avoid his eyes at this close range but it didn't help. I felt kind of nervous and wished I hadn't drunk that extra glass of wine. "It just comes into my head. I don't even know my name and I don't know if things that come in are real or fake."

"You had foresight during the Council meeting." Lord Elrond continued. "You knew the words before they'd be spoken."

How did he know that?

He didn't elaborate on that. I accepted that he knew though and flushed, embarrassed, avoiding eye contact while trying to not be awkward. I failed. Dark eyes stared evenly through mine and into my mind beyond.

Bugger. I knew I couldn't hide anything. Nothing. So I had to face it. I gazed back, meeting his dark eyes with my own eyes, trying to reassure myself as I answered, "Things just come. I don't understand it."

"No, and yet..." Lord Elrond's eyes went to my ears, and then to my hand, frowning only the slightest. I reached up to touch the ear with the remainder of my right hand.

What I did find, to my horror, was that one of my ears was gone.

Gone.

I had no fucking ear.

I grabbed for the other one and found it there, more or less, but the top of it was weird. Catching another mirror in my sight, I headed for it, not caring how rude it was. What had happened to me? One ear was more or less gone. The other was there but the top of it looked like it had literally been cut off somehow. And I had a scar across the side of my face from that cut ear to my cheekbone.

There was ear. Sort of. It was cut up. Mangled. It was hideous. Shocked blue eyes were shadowed by the white of the eyes, my face white from shock, because until now I hadn't actually seen my reflection or the damage. What. The. Hell.

"What happened to me?" I stared, heart pounding, trying to breathe. I felt kind of weird, faint, my head spun. Oh god. I was a freak. "I – I don't understand."

"You were unconscious on the banks of our river, one day north. Lord Legolas found you alone, grievously injured, half-dead. My healers could not repair the damage to your ear nor to your hand but the scarring will fade. Your body will adapt."

How much was there? I hadn't really looked at myself before. Pippin, Merry and the council thing were completely out of my head now, I stared down at my arms. There were faint scars and stuff. I mapped them, every scar, and it was like the right side of me had taken the brunt of some forgotten damage. "I don't remember how it happened."

"No." He said softly. Gently now. I'd said this before. Of course he knew that. "Your kin is, therefore, unknown and we've taken your healing and safety as our responsibility."

"Why?" I caught Lord Elrond's face in the mirror's reflection. It was suddenly guarded and he turned to walk away towards a balcony, quiet. I felt like he hadn't dismissed me. Did he need to think? The news about my ears and body kind of flustered me. "I don't think I'm like you. Or the Elves here. So I'm not from here."

"No." He agreed, softer, staring ahead. "You're not from here. But you were found in our lands. A daughter of Men, and when you're well, we'll return you from whense you came."

Gandalf had been quiet this entire time. Now he spoke, and I jumped, forgetting that he'd even been part of this. "Foresight is not a gift that Men have, not often, and your appearance is timed so that we cannot separate you from that which is taking place here. Likewise- you are not like other Men. There's something about you that belongs neither to them nor to us."

This didn't answer any questions. It just raised more. Lord Elrond didn't volenteer any other information either, he just stood there, staring at me.

"So I'm special?"

"No." Gandalf shook his head.

Oh. That was a relief and kind of insulting. I shifted on my feet as his gaze swept up and down me.

"You are different." Lord Elrond added.

For a long time we stared at each other, this Elf Lord and myself, until he changed the subject. "Your part in the Fellowship is not expected. I did not foresee your arrival, nor your part in this, and I know not what this means. But you are to go now."

Go? Oh. Was I being dismissed?

I took one step towards the door, then the other, uncertain, feeling awkward. I mean, gods, I really DID need to pee. Badly.

"Where are you going?" Lord Elrond blinked at me as I almost walked out. Confused.

"Huh?"

"Come and sit." Gandalf pulled a chair out beside him.

Wait, what? Utterly confused I took a seat. Was there more? Why had they told me to go? I went mute, confused, eyes flipping from one to the other.

"You're to go with the Fellowship."

Oh. This was brought up only more questions. I was to do what now?

"You became apart of this quest by will of fate, for reasons I yet do not understand." Lord Elrond turned to walk towards his table again, slowly, but I felt his attention was still on me. "Your foresight may play a factor and it may assist in protecting the weaker members."

"When you have a vision, unsure or not, you bring it to me."

I was clearly being told to go with the Fellowship. An order. Not a request. It utterly confused me.

"Why though? Why me?" I was injured. I was alone. My brain was broken. "Why?"

"Because, while I cannot understand why, there are now four Hobbits to take part in the Fellowship and at least two of them are likely to need a watcher." Gandalf was the one to answer that.

"So you want me to babysit, er, watch, two grown ass men who behave like-" Teenagers? Children? "Well, that are-"

"Innocent is the best word, I believe." Gandalf interjected, gently, a ghost of a smile on his face. "Yes. Their nativity could well be a blessing to the fellowship and I cannot say why that is yet. But we still have a duty to see our quest through and with the dangers to come …"

He trailed off. Eyes going past me, to the horizon, seeking something. Some vision of what was to come? Or was he just trying to convince himself to NOT worry about all the endless possible outcomes?

I hesitated. I was probably doing that myself. I barely remembered anything, barely knew anything, and had no idea what we'd be walking into. Literally. Walking. All. The. Way.

"Why not Elves? One of your soldiers?"

"Does it insult you that you'd not be in the Fellowship? That you would not come with us the full way but instead escort two or three Hobbits to safety should the need arise?"

"No. I don't even fully understand what its about." I admitted as I shook my head. It sounded like a big deal. It sounded like a big commitment.

"That's why. Any Elf here would be honoured to join us, The Fellowship, yet that is exactly what I'm not offering. Your name would not be remembered, your task, as you would not be in the Fellowship nor in our quest. All I'm asking- even with the dangers it involves- is an extra pair of eyes, ears and arms. We would focus on our task- you, remembering some common sense that the Hobbits sometimes lack, as you watch their backs." Lord Elrond turned to a map.

I supposed I got it. No. I didn't really care about my name being remembered, it wasn't my real name anyway, and I wasn't in this for glory or some bullshit. Didn't I owe these Elves some debt anyway for saving my ass in that river?

"And if things got hairy, if we were attacked, you know I can't probably do a lot-"

"Neither can the Hobbits. There'll be time to teach you to hide, to defend, and to heal. You need not worry about much more. If you have foresight it could prove invaluable to their safety, and to ours, and to the quest."

To me that seemed like one more person to protect. It didn't seem logical. I supposed though that even an idiot could defend themselves (and two to three small men) with a blade if they stabbed it in the right direction. The walk would apparently take a long time anyway.

I could already feel my answer. Had it always been there? This outcome? It seemed final. Like this was always how it'd go. It only took my effort in uttering the words, "All right. I'll try to help," to make it set in stone. "I'm not really confident I'll remember anything of use."

With the Fellowship. Not in it, not of it, but with it.

The babysitter.

I could hear my own words echoing back in my head that night. I'll try to help. I'll try to help. With half a hand, a swiss cheese brain that'd forgotten itself and mending bones that still hated to stand for more than two minutes.

Fuck.

What was I getting myself into?

If they were aware of my stress they didn't let on. Lord Elrond was already lifting a feather to a scroll, unwravelling it, considering me for a long moment.

"We'll name you Wenduin- maiden of the river. Wendy."

He wrote the name down. Twice, on two pieces of paper, one handed to me as it was folded.

"There's a safety in having your name close to your heart, Wenduin, and I suspect you'll want a reminder. Keep this on you." I held it, staring at it, kind of overwhelmed. Then I carefully slid it into a pocket. Lord Elrond suddenly smiled, a smile that shocked me, but it was gone for a moment.

"You will receive clothing more suited to your shape."

"But like this, yeah?" I muttered. "Not a dress?"

"Your journey to come will require more practical clothing, yes. Some dresses will be expected until then." He stood back, arms crossing, and turned to the window nearby to gaze up to the stars.

"Take heart- all things may work out."

And with that optimistic note I was dismissed.

Waiting for me was Legolas.

He was alone, quiet, leaning against the edge of a rail with his arms crossed. I couldn't read his face in the dark.

"H-hey."

"You're coming with us then."

"Yeah."

He didn't answer. Was he mad? Annoyed? I was probably a pretty useless addition. I didn't even know if I could cook, light a fire, led alone fight.

Where were we going anyway? Pippin's question was suddenly a good bloody question but I didn't want to ask it. I felt a bit stupid for not asking Lord Elrond before agreeing. All I'd gathered was that it would involve a lot of walking.

The blonde Elf remained quiet for a long time. I couldn't explain it. There was a tenseness, a heaviness, and I wondered if he was angry at me for risking my life with this after he'd saved it. Was … was that it?

"Sorry." I tried.

Legolas didn't respond to that. Instead he said, quietly, "Then its done."

"What?"

He didn't answer that either. Some part of me, some small prideful part, was admittedly starting to get annoyed with all the cryptic stuff going on. Was it so hard to be open and honest?

"Okay. Then. I … I need to go back to my room."

"Of course. I'll show you the way." He straightened, slowly, and waited for me.

In compete silence we made our way through a maze of paths, courtyards and corridors, and I felt every step of the silence weigh on me. I couldn't understand or explain what was going on- only that something was there, some tension, some unspoken thing.

Something that I wasn't being told.

When Legolas left me in the room I had only a moment to chew over it before I was accosted by maids, a bath, and a supper that I could barely fit in after the feast and the strange turn that tonight had taken.

"Tomorrow you'll move rooms to a safer place." I was informed by one of the women as the other braided my hair, gentle fingers pulling tendrils back. "Closer to the rest of the Fellowship."

"I'm not really apart of the Fellowship."

"You're joining them."

I was too oxygen deprived to argue. It had been a long afternoon and I felt bone weary. They helped me strip, which was strange, yet I was feeling so tired that I could no longer find the will to put up any arguments. I stared numbly at each scar that appeared, mostly on my right side, and at my mangled hand.

"The scars will fade," The other maid, who I'd dubbed Maid B, said softly. She must have caught me staring at them. "Your ears will not grow back."

Duh. But I didn't say anything. I just yawned, unable to hold it anymore, eyes stating to get heavy. One trip to the hole in the ground and I'd be ready to pass out.

Thankfully they left me alone once they'd redressed me and I could go in peace, balancing akwardly on the hole, and my weary brain complained toilets would be better.

God, how the hell did people live without toilets? Toilets? I had this memory of one. Big. White. Flushed stuff away. My first memory and it was of a toilet. Instead I had a hole and under that hole was a pot. Painted pretty, blue and white, and clean... but a pot. Okay. This wasn't right.

I tried to use it and almost tipped over as unreliable legs struggled to do the half squat required to aim over the hole, face red as I nearly knocked it over. Where did it go later? I was sure I'd half peed all over myself trying to get my aim right.

It was with some considerable relief that I managed to finish my bisness and cover the pot with a thick piece of fabric, wash my hands and self, and crawl into the waiting steaming bath.

It had chunks of green and flowers floating away. They seemed to help ease my sore muscles, the smell sweet and minty and green, and I all but passed out until the water got too cold to bear anymore. Somehow I trudged from bath, to dry with a cloth, to bed, and collapsed.