-I DO NOT own Naruto, as much as I wish I did. I do not.
But I DO own the plot and the poem. DO NOT STEAL!
"If you hadn't met me,
Would your life have been the same?
Would your life be filled with love?
Would it be filled with joy?
Would it be boring?
If you had the choice,
To save me again –
Would you take it?
Do you regret your choice?"
The pencil once again clattered onto the hard desk. A teardrop fell on the paper in front of the man; his hands were cupped in front of his face as he sat there, his naked shoulders shaking with terror and fear. However much the chuunin put on a brave front – he always broke down. He needed something to support him, but he always doubted. He was in a vortex on his way down, swirling in a pit of loss.
There was no hope for him.
His black eyes opened as he looked down at the paper in front of him. He blinked slowly, long eyelashes brushed against his hand as he blinked once more, just as slow. He read over the words once again, his heart repeating the words as if in an echo that refused to let the words leave him.
The chuunin raked a hand through his chestnut hair as he blinked, his eyes once more wet with tears. He glanced at the clock and blinked – it was about one in the morning. He looked at the paper in front of him and gently picked it up. He looked over the words once again and placed the paper in a drawer he'd just opened with his other hand. He placed the paper in there and stood up.
His body rippled as he stretched, near his spine, a little off was a clean scar, still pink from its newness. It shouldn't fade from another few months. He reached a hand back and smiled grimly. He remembered that cut. He looked at the ceiling of his home for a few moments, and then heaved a sigh. He wore only a simple pair of boxers that were black in color. He looked at the ground for a moment; his brown hair circled his face.
He smiled as he imagined phantom fingers touching it and playing with his hair gently with a lover's caring touch. The chuunin smiled and looked at the hair tendrils that flicked in front of his face. He sighed gently and closed them. Umino Iruka was still held in those depths of pain that he somehow needed to escape from – but he couldn't get out. Couldn't escape.
But really – what was there for him to escape from? What did he have to run from? What would make him want to run? The fact that he wasn't loved? Well – he was loved. That was one definite in his life. He could always count on the love of his partner. As he thought that his black orbs shifted back to the room over his shoulder. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he sat there, then his eyes closed and he was awash in history.
Flashback begins
Even after he'd been saved he was still much the same. He couldn't remember when it actually changed, when he managed a positive outlook on life. But for now – he was stuck in the realm of despair and hopelessness. The student looked at the ground. He sighed.
He stepped out of the door, out of his lonely house into the sunlight that didn't quite seem bright enough to make his day any better. The sunlight lacked the warmth on his face. It was supposed to be in the mid ninety's today. But to him it felt as it were a freezing forty.
He tilted his head down as he walked to school, unknowing that he was being watched. He didn't know, and didn't want to know. He wasn't loved; he knew that. He looked up at the children as they played outside until the bell rang.
When it rang, Iruka walked into the classroom as if nothing had happened the day before. However, most of the students knew, the teacher knew. They all stared at him as he came and sat down. Iruka looked innocent as he looked up at the teacher. The teacher blinked her hazel eyes; blonde hair circled her face as she regained her composure. She nodded her head and greeted the class.
Iruka was drawn into his own thoughts; he knew why they knew. Hatake had told them. He'd been there. After Iruka had controlled himself and stopped crying the student and Kakashi had gone up to the Hokage's Office.
…
Kakashi had explained to the Third why he was here and why Iruka was not in school. The entire time the student kept his black eyes fixedly on the ground. The Hokage had talked with him before; they'd gone on strolls in the village. But he'd never really been loved, the Hokage cared for him of course, but it wasn't good enough. Iruka wanted to be loved; he wanted to be needed by someone.
Hatake had told the whole incident. The Hokage hadn't spoken once, but Iruka could feel his eyes on him. He didn't look up however. Hatake finally stopped talking and had stood at attention. The room was quiet. Iruka didn't say anything. The Hokage didn't say anything, and Hatake looked helpless, even with his mask on, the student who was four years his younger, knew what the other was thinking – how could he help?
Iruka didn't want to be helped.
He just wanted to be loved. What was so hard about that? Why did they not understand? Was that too much to ask of them? Did they not understand because he wasn't able to commune that to them? Was that the reason? Was the fault his?
A tear fell from his face and onto the floor as the two gained a shocked expression on the others features. They blinked together, and then Hatake placed his arm over the shoulder of the student and leaned down (he was only taller than Iruka by a foot or two). He looked at the boy, his mask hidden as his large black eye was filled with shock at the younger.
"What's wrong Umino-kun?"
He asked softly, Iruka didn't respond to the question. He didn't want too, it must just be his fault. He allowed another hot tear to fall from his eyes, but instead of it hitting the ground, he was surprised to see that the drop had landed in Hatake's hand. He blinked and turned his watery eyes up to regard that single eye of the jounin.
Iruka uttered a strangled cry and fled from the room, tears still in his eyes.
Neither of the older men moved to stop him from leaving the room – the thought that ran through both the Hokage and Kakashi's mind were the same thing: Sometimes one needed time away from others.
But not in this case. Hatake knew that Iruka would once again, if allowed un-attended, to kill himself once more, he turned and started for the door, his hand had already reached and touched the handle when he heard his voice called.
"Kakashi."
He froze there, his head turned as he regarded the Hokage in all his wise-old years. Kakashi's eye blinked as he looked at the older man.
"Hai Hokage-sama?"
He asked hesitantly, fearing that the leader of Konoha wouldn't allow him to follow the student and keep him from harm. Somehow – it seemed unreasonable to the jounin. But he'd have to obey the Hokage, whatever his decision. He turned fully to face the Hokage.
The man regarded him silently, and then nodded his head, his eyes closed, as he bowed his head, fingertips touched as the leader pondered for a moment, Kakashi knew better than to interrupt the leader, but he was worried about Iruka and wanted to leave as soon as possible.
"Do not allow him to know that you are watching over him – it will be a B-ranked mission of the utmost importance."
Kakashi's single eye widened for a second, then it relaxed down to its normal size and the jounin nodded his head, silver hair bobbed on his head. He turned, opened the door, and walked out, intent on this new mission. He'd save that boy.
If he failed – Konoha would have to arrange the funerals of two more ninja.
…
"Iruka!" Came the sound of a teacher pushed passed her limits, Iruka jerked upright and he appeared to be startled. He blinked several times and looked at the teacher. Her hands were on her hips and her lips were pursed with anger and tension. Iruka knew he was going to be in trouble if he didn't find out what was going on in the next ten seconds.
His eyes shifted to the board where he spotted a math problem. The student happened to be rather good at these kind of problems and solved it in a few moments. He looked at the teacher and responded,
"The answer is ten." He told her confidently. Looking her right in the eyes with his own. His gaze shifted to the window for a brief second – he'd thought he'd seen a flash of silver but it must have been a bird. A large silver bird. Could be one of the messenger birds that flew around the Village at random times of the day.
Iruka nodded his head and looked at the teacher who nodded her head and actually gave a smile. She was going to say something when the bell rang for the class and school to be over. Iruka was one of the last to leave the classroom -- none of the other students spoke to him. They just stared at him as they passed by his desk, some of them snickered.
He titled his face down to hide the tears that raced down his face and fell onto his school work. The teacher looked about to say something to the student but he bolted out of there as soon as he could. She didn't get a chance to say anything.
Outside of the schoolyard was a different matter -- here Iruka was preyed upon by the bullies of the school. He was preyed upon and no one knew. No one cared enough to find out about the student walking alone, looking scared and apprehensive about his where-bouts.
He glanced over his shoulder and was rewarded with a sharp, stinging slap that sent him reeling. He didn't call out, but gritted his teeth and looked up at the, his eyes narrowed with anger and hidden fire that soon went out when he looked at the opposing force in front of him. He gulped instead and looked at them. He blinked several times and then stood up; his schoolwork forgotten on the ground he bolted away from the,
Now, Iruka was a pretty fast runner -- but so were they. They caught his with ease and knocked him over, his nose, by now, was bloodied from a direct punch to it. He was going to get a grand-old black eye and had the makings of several bruises before they pulled out their kunai training, dull and started to attack him with those.
He was, at one point in time, rammed against a wall. Unable to help himself his vision blackened and he lost consciousness.
This was the moment that Hatake had been waiting for. He swooped in, the students didn't know what had hit them. Kakashi dispatched with them as if they were nothing, and to the jounin, they were nothing. Wimps. Bullies. Beating upon his beloved Iruka. He crouched by the other's side, he bore marks of the attack, and the jounin decided to take his younger charge to the hospital to get a good-looking over and be cleared.
Kakashi, caring Iruka in his arms, walked towards the Hospital were he'd stay by Iruka's side until the lad awoke the next morning lost and confused. As well as in a world of pain. But Kakashi stayed the night, watching over Iruka and wondering why this little boy meant so much to him. Eventually he stood up and walked over to the other, laying on the white bed sheets.
Now, Kakashi was tired from the day, it was most of the way into the night as well. He shifted Iruka over without bumping anything and crawled into the hospital bed beside the student.
He slipped under the covers and arranged himself near to Iruka, his masked face titled towards the student.
When the nurse came in and saw Kakashi sleeping there, she turned off the lights, closed the door and let them alone, both asleep, but Kakashi's hand lay in Iruka's. The four year junior didn't even notice it until the next morning when he'd awake in pain, in confusion, and wondering why Kakashi was sleeping next to him.
Flashback ends
Iruka's eyes opened slowly as he looked at the table in front of him. He sat there and sighed gently, his arms reached out as he stretched, he let out a very odd sound as he did. He was laying there, claming himself down, his body slowly relaxing itself as he lay there, his head laying forehead down on the table. He sighed gently, his black eyes closed.
He didn't feel the other man who had walked up behind him. The jounin smiled as he looked at Iruka, almost asleep. He stretched his arms up and lay them just above Iruka's arms, he didn't want to wake the chuunin. He slowly lowered his arms, pressing himself against Iruka he stood there, bent over, his chest touching the back of the other.
His head lay gently in the crook of Iruka's neck, the chuunin's body was starting to respond to the feel of Kakashi's skin against his. The jounin smiled slightly and nibbled gently on Iruka's ear. The chuunin sucked in a breath of ecstasy, Kakashi smiled and nibbled a bit harder on Iruka's ear. He loved the taste of the tanned man's skin.
"Iruka, thinking those horrible thoughts once more?"
The jounin asked softly, his soothing, but raspy voice made the chuunin tense. But Iruka's shoulders relaxed as he gave up lying to Kakashi. He just nodded his head slightly, he turned his face, one black eye stared at one black eye and one red eye. Kakashi smiled, he closed his red eye and just snuggled against Iruka's shoulder.
Iruka smiled sadly, he looked at Kakashi and moved to get up but Kakashi held him to the table. Iruka smiled as he tilted his head and kissed the mass of silver hair on the jounin's head. Kakashi smiled and kissed Iruka's shoulder. The chuunin shivered like an untried colt as Kakashi's hands played over the chuunin's solid body. Iruka felt his breath coming faster soon enough.
Kakashi smiled, he had much more control than the other did and he still loved Iruka for that, ever since the day that they had woken up in the same bed Kakashi had known that he needed to make Iruka his and no one else's. The jounin smiled gently and played with Iruka's hair. He knew only a fraction of the pain that the chuunin was going through, but knew well enough that he would help his lover in any way possible.
Kakashi smiled as Iruka writhed under him with pleasure. Iruka's face was sweaty already and Kakashi knew that Iruka was nearing his climax. The jounin helped him along, both met each other, and when at last both were done, they collapsed. Both sweating, Kakashi smiled as he looked at Iruka, who was panting still.
"Iruka,"
He called softly to the chuunin, his practiced eye caught the stiffening of the chuunin's shoulders though it was slight, it was enough to alert the jounin that his partner was listening to him. Kakashi's soft hand stroked the chuunin's back gently, Iruka relaxed, and Kakashi spoke on in that rich voice of his,
"Iruka, why do you run?"
He asked the chuunin who stiffened up once more under his touch. Kakashi leaned over and rested his head on Iruka's fit shoulder, the chuunin's face was turned away from him, but Kakashi knew when someone was crying and this was one of those times. Kakashi sighed gently and brought his left had forward, he grasped Iruka's chin gently and pulled the man's face over towards him.
Iruka's face was covered in tears. Kakashi kissed them and licked them away gently, he didn't want Iruka to be sad, because it made him sad. Was that selfish? No. Kakashi was worried about Iruka and the mental state of the chuunin's mind. Iruka, still crying gently, wrapped his arms around the other and lay his head on the shoulder and cried onto the soft bare skin of Kakashi.
"I-I-I don't k-know Kakashi, I-I I can't… understand!"
He cried, his shoulders shaking into Kakashi's shoulder. The jounin wrapped his arms around Iruka's waste and smiled sadly, he kissed Iruka's hair with his lips and ran the silky-soft strands through his chestnut brown hair. He loved the soft feel of it as it ran through his fingers. He smiled gently and assured the chuunin --
"I love you Iruka, I have told you before -- you are my one and only love. That means I accept every part of you, the hope the laughter, the love, and hell, I'm loving the sex -- but you need o understand my Dolphin, that I accept you for you -- that includes all of your fears, your misery."
Kakashi cuddled Iruka in his lap on their couch, having moved from the desk they were at. Iruka, still slightly fretful, was calmed and his fears pushed aside by the level of love and devotion that Kakashi gave him. His head resting on the jounin's lap and his hair being gently played with by Kakashi, the chuunin slipped off into a gentle sleep that encased about him as firmly as a cocoon.
Kakashi, after a few moments of staring at Iruka's quite sleeping form, kissed him on the head and leaned over to lay behind Iruka, his arm supporting both Iruka's and his own head. He smiled gently and kissed the chuunin again,
"Good night my Iruka."
And then they both drifted off into sleep.
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Muhahaha!
Ze second chapter ish done::triumphant music::
