Back again!
I really wonder, how many of you actually read my Author Notes? Like both top and bottom? Because I get a lot of nice feedback…but people are also confused about things happening that I specifically put in my Author Notes. I go…I did say that in my Author Note. Anyway, if you read both top AND bottom, just tell me, I'm curious to know…Otherwise, I'll try to keep it more simple if no one reads them.
RaquellaRose: Thanks for your epic support, it feels good to be back again and I'll be trying hard to rake in the updates.
LoveMaidSama: OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE EDIT! I hadn't even realized that…it was such an amateur mistake TT_TT Anyway, I've edited it now so it's all good, but thanks for that ^_^
FateMoon: Yeah it's finished :) I put it in the Author's Note in Chapter 9 of 'Love or Kill?'
UsuixMisaki: Hehehe, all in due time xD I think…we'll see what happens.
ChuGaEun: Youch, really? I wouldn't think he was worth it…though I do see your point ;)
Choco-Chan143: Hahaha, thanks for the review. You can't die on me yet! I haven't even finished Part II!
Spycilicious: As always, thanks for everything, you've been a huge part in my incentive to write. Thanks for the awesome support ^_^
To the story!
Usui POV
Half-brother? I tried to figure it out but I couldn't comprehend this with my head in twists and knots. It felt so numb that it made thinking unbelievably hard. If he were my half-brother, wouldn't I have some memories of him? Unless he only announced this now and I had no idea even before.
My body ached. I felt like crap. And life seemed to suck a lot right now. I kept a calm face, hoping that the man in front of me wouldn't be able to see that I was panicking hard inside.
Where was Misaki? My Misaki? How could it be that, as soon as we got each other back, we get torn apart once more?
My head ached and felt numb. I felt like there was a barrier separating me from my past…if that was possible. It felt like something was stopping me from remembering stuff, like my brain went into static mode. Feeling groggy was not a positive thing, especially when you're trying to keep a strong front in front of your supposed half-brother.
"Listen Usui Takumi. Even if you are my half-brother, you're not getting any special treatment. Do you know why?" He stuck his face right up close to mine mockingly and I gritted my teeth. I glared at him but shook my head grudgingly.
"Of course you do not. I did say for them to wipe your memory clean." The man shrugged and stood up again. Hang on, what?
It was getting harder to hear every word he said. Due to this man's stand off personality, it made me want to be better than him. Asking him to repeat things seemed childish in this situation. I made a pained face, my headache wasn't letting up at all.
I came to a quick decision that I believed he was my half-brother. No one would lie about something so bold. Plus, if he has a grudge with me, then wouldn't he want to reveal his true identity? I know I would. Revenge isn't something easy, if you want to laugh at the victim, you don't want them thinking that it's someone else.
"I'm sorry, is it possible that I am speaking to fast for you?" He asked slowly, like he was dealing with a four year old. I gritted my teeth until I was sure I could hear it.
Then he simply laughed, "Yes that's right Usui, you cannot remember your past simply because I decreed it!" He grinned widely and I wanted to punch it clean off his face. Unfortunately, I had made no progress with the ropes that were burning my skin with every tug. I heard small bits of his sentence, enough to know the truth now.
I hated him. I despised him, though I couldn't remember anything, the scornful feelings that came crashing down on me were unavoidable. He was despicable. How could he erase my memory just for the heck of it? No, from what I've gathered, he isn't the type of person to be without a scheme.
I tried to keep a straight face and breathe deeply to keep me from tackling him with bound limbs.
"I guess I should start again from the simple beginning." My half-brother mocked whilst pacing slowly walking laps around me. He sure seemed sadistic right about now.
"My name is Gerard and I am your half-brother. Though, I'm not exactly proud to be." He shrugged. I officially hated this snob. Don't remind me that 'hate' is a very strong word. I am fully aware of its effects due to this monster in front of me.
"You following me so far?" I only answered him by narrowing my eyes. If only these ropes would come off, I could punch this bastard into oblivion.
"Anyway." He drawled, dragging the word and gestured towards me before he began his next 'explanation'.
"You are an illegitimate child. Born into this world as something shameful. Your mere existence brought shame to this family." He shook his head. Anger boiled inside of me and I knew if he continued, I would have an all out rage. I need to keep my cool, let my mind simmer down from the headache.
"And you never stopped with that shame. Well that's not true, when you were a child you were nice and quiet and never bothered us. It was in your teenage years that you started becoming rebellious. You agreed to move schools but then you had to insist on marrying that common poor girl. You disobeyed grandfather in the process. Well, at least she's here now so she can't help you bring shame to the Walker Company." He gave a smug smile. Suddenly, a surge of energy shot through me. No more pain, no more numbness, just anger.
"DON'T YOU DARE EVEN TOUCH HER YOU BASTARD!" I shouted as I struggled furiously at the ropes. I squirmed and kicked.
"Why? What could you possibly do to stop me?" Gerard mocked me shamelessly.
"I will break every bone in your body." I said darkly, hair covering my face. I swear if he did anything to her, who knows what I'll do. A little bit of relief coursed through me at the fact that Misaki was somewhat safe. At least I hope. As long as she was in the same vicinity, I'll find her and won't stop until I do but I'll have to get out of these ropes first.
"Where have your manners gone Takumi? You used to be such a polite boy." He shook his head again. He was really irritating me now. The anger rush had somehow dissipated and I was left feeling tired and back to my original state: pained.
"Nothing will happen to her…if you comply to my wishes." He smiled a little evilly. Blackmail, of course. How had I not seen this coming?
"Which reminds me. Since I am a very generous person," I scoffed quietly at that statement. To which he glared at me in return.
"I'm giving you two choices." I wished that I hadn't been laced into this. I just wanted to know Misaki was safe and that everything was going to be okay. Fat chance of that, my darker side sarcastically commented. I shook it away, there's always hope. We will both fight for this. I encouraged myself.
"Your first choice: Let us erase both of your memories." My eyes widened at the thought. Life would be so dull without Misaki. I had no idea how I even managed in those 9 years. Besides, I swore that I'd find everything out because she deserved it. Plus, we have a fighting chance of making it out. I'm not quitting now.
"And then there's the other choice, the more preferred choice: You come and work for us, the girl gets sent back to Japan, we will pay for everything and you help make this company succeed." Gerard simply explained. I pondered. I do not want to work for this company. I truly don't, especially with Gerard working too. I despised the man, meaning that I was stuck with my options. I didn't want either of them.
"Remember, she hangs in the balance." He chimed cheerfully. I hated his nonchalant remark. I couldn't say no. Her safety was more important than anything I could even consider. I kept quiet for a very long time, deep in thought.
"Of course, I wouldn't have expected you to come up with a decision so easily. As I am in such a good mood, I will let you speak to that woman to come up with a decision. You're lucky I'm even letting you associate with her. You should thank Cedric…" He trailed off, remembering that my memories no longer exist. "You should thank my most loyal butler for this. He persuaded me into actually believing love between two people of such different status' exist." He scoffed. That's it. Something inside of me snapped and it took all my control to stop from decapitating him. Calm down Usui; just hold off until you see Misaki. I breathed heavily, deeply and waited for further explanations.
"Don't think we're untying you though. I'm getting a butler to bring her into this room." He paged someone on his phone and then glanced at me expectantly.
"She'll be here soon. Behave. Understood Usui?" Gerard stuck his head high and walked out of the room. Once he was out of sight, I tried thrashing around to get out of my ropes. Nothing worked. I suppose getting my arms to the front would be better than having it behind me. I crouch into a standing position. I jumped high and swung my arms to the front. Well that worked better than expected. I searched around the room for anything sharp. I had to hop around to move and I felt completely ridiculous. I continued searching until I found a letter opener in one of the drawers. I was about to start sawing when the door started creaking open. I heard struggling and yelps, shouting and a fist impacting into someone's jaw making a sickening crack. I flung the letter opener back in the drawer and hobbled back to the center of the room. I had to quickly jump and bring my hands behind me, which is much harder than the reverse version. I sat on the floor nonchalantly and waited for anyone to approach.
Suddenly, my head started to clear up of the fog that blocked me from my memories. Some flashbacks came to me of Gerard and…Cedric I think his name was. Seems like I've always had a distaste for Gerard, oh well, I'm glad Cedric was always there for me. Though he had to be loyal to my half-brother, he still took care of me diligently. This was weird. What brought the delayed flashbacks?
My head jerked up as I saw a raven-haired girl being flung into the room. Of course it could only be one person. I sprung off the floor and caught her…without any hands. She landed on my chest and that made me cough a little because of the pain that erupted in me. I had to cough harshly and the sound blasted through the room and a click was barely audible when the door was closed. I stared at the girl lying on my chest. She looked…broken and it killed me inside.
Misaki POV
I breathed heavily after the fight I had to put up with. The stupid man literally dragged me out of the dark room they had left me in. I was a little worried about where he was trying to take me so I struggled with all my might. But he was huge…and really strong, though I managed a punch to his face; he managed a slap to my cheek. Then he cuffed my wrists together.
I don't even know where I am now. All I knew was that the stupid man threw me into a large room. I continued breathing until I felt something on my neck…like a breath. I was sure I felt it; just like I was sure I heard various uneven coughs. Then again, it could just be me imagining things. People do say that when I overwork myself, I get sick.
"Misaki." I heard a satisfied murmur. My eyes shot open and I looked down. There he was.
"Usui!" I nearly screamed and jumped off him. Right now, I wanted to be near him but I was probably squashing him.
My arms immediately tried to wrap around his neck, but they were restrained with cuffs. Tears dripped down my face at the relief of seeing him. I wasn't sure how long it had been since we had been separated but I do know that it was one of the hardest times I've had to deal with.
He smiled at me with such warmth and relief that I knew he felt the same way I was feeling. I frowned curiously when he hobbled up to stand and jumped. I understood when he swung his arms to the front. Before he could reach down and loop his arms onto my frame, I caught a glimpse of the bruise on his cheek. My eyes widened in shock and anger, though he ignored me and simply knelt down and hugged me in a very strange way.
"Are you okay Misaki? Did they try to hurt you?" He asked me gently, cradling me and rocking both of us back and forth on the carpeted floor.
"Are you kidding me? Look at the bruise on your cheek! You should be worrying about yourself!" I scolded him lightly. He shook his head.
"Don't think I didn't hear you fighting outside." He frowned when he caught sight of my cheek.
"So they did hurt you." He murmured quietly to himself. He looked at the floor and his hair covered hi beautiful eyes. I quickly dropped down to meet his gaze. What I saw shocked me. Was it shame I saw flickering through his eyes?
"Usui…it's not even your fault. Don't worry about it." I tried comforting him. He only shook in anger, his body trembling.
"It is my fault Misaki. You don't get it. We're here because of me." He whispered guiltily. I shook my head.
"Nothing could've prepared you for this." Finally, he jerked his head up so he was staring at me straight. He actually intimidated me a little, his stare was so strong and the silence was so thick, I wasn't sure what to do.
"Misaki, this is my family home." He told me, his voice broke a little on 'family'. Honestly, I wasn't surprised. I didn't care either, as long as we found a way out of this place, I would be fine.
"I don't care Usui. This isn't your fault." I said stubbornly. I watched him cautiously as he sank further to the floor.
"They say that I have to comply with their wishes. They've given me two choices Misaki. I know you won't like either of them." He looked at me with such a sad expression and I melted a little.
"You don't have to comply to anything!" I protested. No one can tell you what to do; everyone has their own free will. Usui's family had stripped him of that free will 9 year ago and I won't tolerate it again. Especially with the fire that stormed through me which had rose from the anger of the past events. Like at Usui's old apartment and the strange men who grabbed us and knocked us out. How dare they separate us. Who were they anyway? And who did they think they were demanding stuff from us? I remember everything clearly now. Sure, my mind was foggy when I woke up in some car but now I remember it like I was staring at the sun on a summer day.
Usui had to say goodbye once again. It scared me so much when I thought that I might not ever see him again. Then they were upon us so quickly, grabbing us and struggling against our fights. There was one person who had to punch Usui straight across the jaw to calm him down. That has to be why the bruise was on his cheek. I remembered that I had such an angry fit that someone slapped me. It wasn't enough to knock me out though. I devised a plan after the slap and pretended to black out. It was a good plan, until I started panicking when they started loading Usui and I into different cars. My plan failed and they knocked me out just as quickly.
I glanced back at Usui's cheek. I suppressed the anger that raged inside and sighed as a quiet way of letting myself fume, instead of snapping like I was expecting myself to.
"I do this time…too much is at risk Misaki. So I need you to help me choose." He seemed so…forlorn. I hated it. Usui was the one who is meant to be strong. I needed him to be strong. I can't take his fragile expression, as if with a single blow he would shatter. For his sake, I decided that this time, I needed to be the strong one. I can't always rely on him to be the dominant one. I shook my head stiffly, encouraging him to continue. He gave a comforted smile and continued sadly, "Either they erase both our memories of each other-"
"NO!" I burst out screaming. He looked at me with shock before he soothingly stroked my back with his tied hands.
"Alright Misaki, it's okay." He cooed. I breathed normally for a moment and finally calmed down. The idea of not remembering him scared me just as much as losing him. I had a mental flash of what it would be like carrying on without any knowledge of him and it sent shivers down my spine.
"The other option is that I stay and work here in England. And they send you back to your family in Japan, all expenses paid." He watched me cautiously. My eyebrows scrunched together tightly. Of course I couldn't choose that one either. Usui would hate working here, he hated it back then and I doubt any of that changed this time. I sighed deeply, what a hard decision. Both of these options would end up in tragedy for the both of us, Usui's family is obviously trying to split us apart. I clenched my fists tightly but kept them at bay behind my back. How was I supposed to decide this?
"I don't know Usui. This isn't fair." I complained softly. He nodded and hugged me tightly.
"I know. It's okay Misaki take your time. As long as you're happy with your decision, I'll make do with it." He leaned his forehead against mine. Immediately, I felt calmer and more tranquil. Unfortunately, it didn't change the fact that I was meant to decide something for both of us.
In a torrent of sudden inspiration, I gave Usui my answer: self-created option number three, "Neither."
Thanks for sticking with me guys; this was soooo hard to write. I had no idea where to start off and I spent hours on the computer…getting distracted and procrastinating. I also have no idea what I'm doing for the next chapter either TT_TT I am in serious need of inspiration. I know the overall plot for this story but every single chapter? YEAH….no. ~sigh~ I have some vague idea…I think. We'll see how it goes. Gomen if the next chapter comes out in a few days time, it'll probably be because of writer's block. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try! Arigato for reading, wish me luck for future chapters! ~wink~
