I thought it was another loop.

My eyes struggled to open, the lights were too bright; searing through my eyelids even as I squeezed them shut. But it made no sense, the loop seemed empty. This was the fourth time I had woken up in this place; the blinding lights, the sterile smell of artificial clean - but I remained immobilised. At first I thought it was fear, combined with a certain amount of stubbornness, leaving me too terrified to move, to be drawn into whatever mind game this loop had in store for me. Then it occurred to me, the irregularities; I could remember, when my awareness gave way my mind sank into a confusion of memories, hallucinations maybe, but not propelled into the jarring sameness associated with the loops. This realization brought with it both relief and fear; this could be my chance to escape but where was I, where was my team, where was Phil…

PHIL

You mean a lot to me. A lot.

What are we waiting for…

Did you mean it, when you said you were ready for whatever comes next?

"Coulson?"

He jerked into awareness at the sound of the familiar voice, Daisy. He could see her trying to refrain from flicking her gaze around the room, taking in destruction he had caused when he had finally been left alone. Instead, she took in the mess in front of her; he had stopped working long ago but still, he sat slumped over his desk – now free of its usual clutter thanks to his earlier outburst. He had broken things, he had cried, he had torn through every file he could get his hands on that could possibly produce a lead and finally he had just sat at his desk; her words reverberating around his skull and the ghost of their kiss still lingering on his lips.

Picking up an upturned chair, she dragged it to sit across from him. He didn't ask if she had any leads and she didn't ask how he was; they both already knew, it was bad. The silence weighed heavily on both of them.

"She's tough", Daisy finally offered, half a reminder to herself. He looked up to meet her eyes, ringed red from tears as he's sure his must be. She looked so young this way, vulnerable. She had already lost one mother, and he knew how much she looked up to Melinda, how close the two had grown. When he opened his mouth to speak it was to offer words of comfort, but nothing would come until he choked out the three words he had been biting back for half his life.

"I love her", fresh tears sparkled to life in Daisy's eyes as he spoke, tears that were probably reflected in his, "I let her down and I need her back and I love her – and now she might never know". The weight of the admission seemed to drain what strength he had left in his body, as he shrank back into his chair, catching his head in his hands. But Daisy rose to her feet, and he looked up at her as she stood over him, a steely determination so like her mentors' falling over her features – "We will find her. And you will tell her. And then she will know. And we'll make sure she never forgets". He rose to follow her as she marched to the door. She before opening the door, before they left their feelings with all other broken things in this office;

"I love her too".

But for now, there was work to do.

MAY

"… Doctor I still think it's unwise to risk lifting her sedation"

"Yes AIDA, and those are valid concerns but it's a necessary risk; such strong sedation is supressing her immune system and she's going to need to be as strong as possible if she's going to come through this procedure"

I had been aware of the voices for a while, but it was only now they were beginning to make sense as my mind raised into a groggy consciousness. Radcliffe was around more often lately and when he was, it usually meant pain. Considering that, the word procedure echoed back through my mind; if I could move I'm sure a shiver would have rippled down my spine. The familiar sound of the surgical trolley rattled somewhere to my left and something sharp was pricked unceremoniously into my arm. This is where things usually began to fade. Well, there was usually a flurry of other activities, and some painful poking and prodding that made me miss Simmons' more gentle doctoring. But today was different. Instead of sinking back down into the darkness, the now unfamiliar sensation of sensation flooded my body, it brought with it all kinds of agony but I soon found my eye fluttering uncontrollably until I finally managed to raise my heavy lids.

Radcliffe was beaming down at me from his place beside my gurney. The urge to claw that stupid smile from his face was primal and immediate but all my body managed to do was produce a series of painful spasm.

"Now, now Agent May, you must be careful, Doctor Radcliffe wouldn't want you to hurt yourself".

My dulled senses hadn't picked up on AIDA's presence at the other side of my gurney. My gaze travelled away from her false smile and down to the array of equipment on the trolley beside her.

"What..are y-you doing….with me", the effort of speech seared my lungs, and the weakness in my own voice horrified me. Radcliffe shushed me in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring, reaching out to press me back against the bed as I struggled to rise, AIDA's far less gentle grip quickly taking his place.

"Don't worry Agent May, things will be so much better soon". Radcliffe's deluded smile was more terrifying than anything I'd seen on the surgical trolley. "When I saw what had been done to you in Nadir's care, your body broken and brutalised, your mind far too advanced to be contained by the Framework, I knew I had to do something. It would be a crying shame to see such a fine warrior meet such a wasteful end. I couldn't let you back into the hands of SHIELD, however grateful dear Agent Coulson would have been – but I could give you something far, far better: a new purpose.