I'm Nothing: Chapter 2: Barriers of the Heart.

Forward: lots of fluff and some disturbing imagery towards the end.

"Dana! Are you, like, still here to see me?" Leni chirped a small smile spreading across her face.

Dana looked up from her phone, her eyes seemed to light up as a gentle smile spread across her own face. "Of course I am Leni, I really wanted to see you again".

The two shared a quick hug their smiles not faltering.

"So I bet you're hungry after work? How about a light lunch". Dana offered.

"Oh like balloons? I want a red one!" Leni declared cheerfully.

Dana giggled covering her mouth slightly. "I've missed your jokes Leni, you're so funny".

Leni paused in confusion...jokes?

"Hmmm...how about some sushi, my treat?" Dana offered, a small glint of hope in her eyes.

"Oh I totes love sushi but you shouldn't eat treats, there, like, for pets and stuff". Leni excitedly responded.

Dana burst into a fit of giggles once again, "Please stop Leni or my ribs are going to get sore".

Does she really think I'm joking? Then again it's nice to see her laugh. Leni thought to herself.

At you, not with you...

"Right it's settled then, shall we get going?" Dana declared as she stood up.

The two began to walk towards their destination and caught up on old times.

Topics like how Leni's family were doing, how Dana's studying was going and life in general. More of Leni's acts and more laughing on Dana's part.

She couldn't really think they were all jokes right? No she wouldn't be here if she did. Right?

Leni's dark thoughts were interrupted by a gentle pair of hands on her shoulder.

"Leni? Are you ok? Your shaking." Dana asked concern evident in her tone and worry in her dark blue eyes.

Leni felt like she was going to have a heart-attack. Nobody was meant to see this, the shaking was getting too much. Her mask had just come loose in front of Dana of all people.

Leni took a deep breath and tried to steady her breathing. "I'm, l-like, fine I'm just cold". Leni stuttered out, sweat beginning to form on her brow.

"Hey, it's fine if your not feeling well. We can always meet up another ti-"

"No!" Leni interrupted quickly. " I, like, totes just need to get somewhere warmer". Leni shakily responded.

Dana continued to stare, her eyes not dropping their worried visage.

Why do her eyes have to be so beautiful...wait what? Leni thought to herself.

"Ok Leni if you're sure, we're just about there". Dana voiced slightly less worried now.

The two made their way inside and quickly and sat down. If Leni was being honest she'd never eaten sushi before, she knew what is was but she mostly came along to see Dana again.

She had to admit the whole thing was pretty impressive, the food coming to you on a conveyor belt and it all looked so different.

She'd tried a few different things, nothing too strange though, she wasn't that brave. What really held her attention though was Dana.

Leni couldn't help but steal glances at her friend. Her long brown her flowed down her face. Her smile was so bright. She wore a thick black sweater and some ivory jeans that just seemed to suit her so well. Then there were those eyes those amazing eyes.

Leni was starting to feel flushed. Her cheeks were beginning to turn a light crimson. What on Earth was going on?

She'd never felt like this before. She'd heard about it before, but she shouldn't feel this way about her friend right?

Leni needed to breathe, she couldn't take much more. "Excuse me, I totes need the bathroom".

She quickly got up and turned around with some speed, quickly running headfirst into a wall.

Well that was a first. On purpose that is. Unlike her fake collisions this one was very real and she had no time to brace herself. She was floored in an instant.

"Ugh my head". Leni groggily mouthed. She struggled to regain her bearings. Opening her eyes she was met with those beautiful sapphire eyes once again.

"Leni! Oh my god Leni! Are you ok!" Dana called out frantically, her hand on Leni's cheek.

Can't breath, too close, why does she care so much...

"D-Dana, what happened?" Leni struggled to chock out.

"You ran straight into a wall! Are you sure your not sick?" Dana shakily replied her eyes now burning with worry.

Leni shakily sat up and looked around, everyone was staring now. Well at least her act was intact.

Dana helped Leni to her feet and quickly decided to pay the bill. Soon the two were standing outside, Dana still in panic mode.

"Jesus Leni you scared me so much, please tell me if somethings wrong". Dana worriedly mouthed.

"I'm totes fine Dana, like, I walk into walls all the time". Leni replied, not really a lie.

"Ok Leni if you're sure..." Dana let up, letting out a small breathe she had been holding in for some time.

The two stood in silence for a moment but then both their eyes drifted towards their hands. It turns out they had been holding each other's hands for some time.

The two quickly let go and shared some awkward looks. Leni thought she must have hit her head harder than she thought, because Dana looked like she was blushing.

She wouldn't like you like that, I'm not sure she even likes you at all...

"Hey Leni? Do you maybe...want to hang out tomorrow?". Dana asked nervously rubbing the back of her neck.

Did she hear that right? She wants to hang out again? Of course she does! Everyone loves the fake Leni.

"I'd love too, I'm not working tomorrow". Leni quickly chirped. Wait did I really just say that?

"Awesome! Would you like to come to my house?" Dana replied excitedly.

Leni breathed in deeply, was this ok, could she do this for two days in a row. Would she be able to do that to Dana. To herself.

You don't matter remember...

"Cool I'll see you tomorrow!" Dana beamed.

Wait had I said yes? Ok yes she probably hit her head way too hard.

"I can't wait for tomorrow Leni. I better go catch my bus". Dana exclaimed with excitement.

"Hey wait Dana! I can drive you home if you like". Leni quickly called out. Dana quickly turned around and smiled brightly, nodding enthusiastically.

Soon the two were seated in Vanzilla, the mist of the morning had parted and gentle rain was beginning to fall.

"Thank you so much Leni! I'd be soaked right now if it wasn't for you." Dana chuckled. "Oh what did you think of the sushi, before your accident that is?"

"I totes loved it but ,like, it's kind of mean to keep the tiny chef in that small box it all comes out of". Leni replied.

Dana burst into hysterics once again and for once Leni was tempted too as well. All too soon though they had arrived at Dana's.

"Goodbye Leni, I'll see you tomorrow". Said Dana as she quickly exited the van and ran to her homes door to escape the rainfall. Turning around to wave goodbye before going in.

Leni smiled softly and giggled...that was nice. The peace was not to last however as the events of that day suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks.

The selfishness of wanting to hang out with Dana, the fact that Dana might have seen through her disguise and finally the feelings she didn't know what to do with.

She drove home as fast as possible her breathing was hitching and her mind was being assaulted by so many hurtful things.

She soon arrived at home and made her way inside. It looked like everyone hadn't arrived home yet. Good.

Her breathing was still uneven, her head was starting to develop a raging headache. She needed release.

She didn't want to but she had to before things got worse. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help it.

She reached her room quickly. Reaching under her bed she pulled out what she was looking for and made her way to the bathroom.

Once there, through shaky breaths she rolled up her sleeves and cringed at the sight. Lines of red and white covered her forearms.

She hated them she hated seeing them, almost as much as she hated herself.

Another deep breath and she brought what she had retrieved from her bed to her arm. A razor blade.

One more deep breathe and a quick motion of her hand and a cut was made, then another and another.

Soon new red lines covered her mangled arms, droplets of crimson seeping out of her cuts and down her arms.

She steadied her breathing and tried not to look down. She moved quickly to clean her wounds, applying gauze and wrapping her arms in bandages.

Soon she was clean up, her head felt lighter and the bad thoughts were subsiding.

Like usual after her routine she felt tired. She needed to lay down, just for a moment.

She rolled up her sleeves and made her way back to her room after disposing of the evidence.

Making her way back to her room fighting the urge to collapse. She lay down and let herself fall into an uneasy sleep.

At least tomorrow would be better, right?