Pinky the Chihuahua focused his attention on Admiral Acronym, waiting for her orders.
She appeared to be stirring sugar in her iced tea.
Pinky wondered whether or not he should yap to inform her of his presence.
"Did you order the pantyhose I wanted, Carla?" Acronym asked.
"The red ones?"
Pinky really wondered if he should yap.
"Not those awful red ones, I took a liking to the green- Ah, Agent Pinky." Acronym looked down in surprise. "Don't dawdle around, you're wanted in the main room today. The Major has got something a bit different planned for you."
Pinky frowned.
"Go on. Run along." Acronym said.
Pinky shrugged and hopped into the correct tube. He landed in the main room of the agency.
Bernie the bear was playing checkers with Trevor the Doberman. Monogram was flipping through some papers while a pony stood in front of him, waiting. Other than that, the room was practically empty.
"Ah, Agent P." Monogram said. "Come here. I have a special assignment for you."
Pinky approached him. The pony looked down at him.
"This here is Special Forces Agent Travis." Monogram said. "He's on the Bigston case. But he recently was in a situation that may have been related to the murders that happened this past week."
Pinky nodded.
"We feel another murder will soon take place. We want you to investigate the murders and see if you can catch the killer. Here are the victims so far." Monogram held up two photos: one of a mongoose with a friendly expression, the other of a smug-looking dog with pointed ears and very short fur. "The mongoose is named Michael Mongy. He apparently went by Mike. The basenji is named Daniel. Both were killed in crowded areas in… the not-so-friendly side of Danville. Last night, Travis heard gunshots in the bad side of the quad-state area. No one was found dead upon further investigation, but…"
Pinky blinked.
"Anyway, normally, we'd have put Agent P on this case, but due to his current physical state, we had to give him some time off. We also proposed this case to Peter the panda, but he apparently had a close friendship with one of the victims and…" Monogram looked toward the bathroom. "I think he's locked himself in there. Anyway… we'd be grateful."
Pinky saluted and took the photos.
"I'd assume you'll first want to question some people around that area of Danville, and see if you can get Peter to talk more about his friend. Perhaps you can discover if these two victims had anything in common."
"Thanks for coming here, Lowe." Perry said.
The fennec fox adjusted his awkwardly large glasses and sat down on Ferb's bed. "It's no problem. You seem to be doing well in your current state."
Perry gave a painful smile. "Well, my leg is killing me and everything's sore, but I didn't want to take my painkillers before I talked to you or I would have been snoring by now."
"What did you need to talk to me about?" Lowe asked calmly.
"It's kind of… a favor."
"Favor?"
"Yeah." Perry attempted to sit up. He managed to elevate himself by about half a centimeter before he gave up. "…Well… after… certain events, I realized… I'm not gonna be around forever, and I need to be prepared for when… I'm not. So… here's the thing. You're one of the few people I know who really understands and cares about everyone."
"I try." Lowe said, half-smiling.
"I don't want my boys to be alone… my owners. What I'm saying is… will you watch out for them if I can't? Just be there for them if they need someone?"
Lowe thought for a moment.
"If not… that's fine." Perry said, slightly annoyed at the pause in conversation.
"I'd be glad to. But are you sure you want to choose me?"
"Yes."
"All right then. I will." Lowe gave him another half-smile. "Anything else?"
"Yeah. I had this dream last night about a stegosaurus playing a banjo. What does that mean?"
Lowe snickered.
"Aw, come on. How'd you know I made that up?"
Lowe shook his head. "Magicians and psychiatrists never reveal their secrets."
Phineas came into the room. "Oh cool, a fennec fox! I read about fennec foxes in Ferb's biology book."
"So did my cow." Ferb said, coming up behind Phineas.
"We have a cow now, do we?" Perry asked.
"That's just Ferb's new thing." Phineas said. "Whenever he can't think of anything to contribute into a conversation, he says something about his cow. And it's funny because he doesn't actually have a cow."
"Or anything to contribute into conversations." Perry said.
"Neither does my cow." Ferb retorted.
"I had better get going." Lowe stood up. "I don't want to leave my office for too long."
"See ya." Perry said. "Thanks for coming by."
Lowe gave a nod and padded out of the room. Phineas closed the door.
"Platypuses were also in Ferb's biology book." Phineas said.
"There was a picture of a newly hatched platypus." Ferb said. "It was all pink and slimy."
"Ew." Phineas said.
"Heeyy, like you should talk!" Perry said. "Newborn humans are disgusting. At least platypuses come out of eggs!"
"But human babies get carried to their parents by birds." Phineas said. "What's gross about that?"
Perry looked at him. "I thought you had an A plus in biology."
"He was sick the day we had that lesson." Ferb said.
"You may wanna read through Ferb's biology book again." Perry said.
"Oh, you know what else was in Ferb's biology book?" Phineas said.
"My cow." Ferb said.
"Nooooo, penguins! Did you know they throw up food into their babies' mouths?"
"Hey, speaking of food…"
"Fine, fine." Phineas said. "We'll feed you."
"Everybody was Judo-sparring, HOTAHUA! Those dogs as slow as farming…"
Perry carefully picked up his phone and struggled to lift it to his ear.
"If you change my ringtone one more time, Ferb…" He muttered.
Ferb snored in his bed, dangerously close to falling out. Phineas had all of his limbs splayed out and was pushing Ferb closer to the edge.
Perry tapped the answer button and flinched as the pain spread to his wrist. "…Hello?"
"I have a mission!"
"Good for you, Andy Warhol." Perry murmured.
"Perry, it's me! Pinky!"
"No, you're Andy Warhol."
"You're not asleep, Perry! Okay, maybe you are. But wake up so I can tell you!"
"Fine, I'm relatively conscious. But can your last name still be Warhol?"
"I'm taking on the murder case. You know, those two murders that happened last week in Danville?"
"…What murders?"
"Have you been living under a rock?"
"No, but I was under a car for a few seconds."
"Oh, right, you were in the hospital when they happened. Get this: Some guy killed a mongoose and a basenji within two days of each other. The murders could be related, and who knows when the killer will strike again!"
"Basenji… those are the dogs that yodel, right?"
"Yeah. They can't bark. The mongoose was named Michael Mongy… and the basenji's name was Daniel. I don't know his last name."
"Oh no…" Perry closed his eyes. His head burned from the strain of summoning a long-gone memory. "…Daniel?"
"Yeah."
"You mean Dane? Dane's dead?"
"Dane who?"
"Pinky, remember Peter's birthday party in Colorado? A basenji named Daniel was there. Peter's friend. Peter called him Dane."
"Oh my gosh. You're so right. I vaguely remember him. And Peter locked himself in the bathroom after Monogram suggested the case to him…"
"Aw no… I met him… I actually saw him… oh, that's so sad…"
"Wait, did you know him? Any information on him is appreciated. It may help me find the killer."
"No… he only talked to me once. I can't remember what he said exactly, but he warned me about Prince being tracked to Colorado."
"…What?"
"He tried to warn me my life was in danger. That's so sad… I didn't know him, but he seemed like a nice guy…"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."
"That's okay. I'm still woozy from the painkillers, so that probably has something to do with it. Earlier today I cried because Ferb told me someone cut him in line at Mr. Slushie Burger."
"Oh. I should probably let you sleep."
"Find that killer." Perry said.
"I intend to." Pinky said. "And hopefully before anyone else gets hurt. Recover fast, Perry."
"You too. …Oh wait, you aren't hurt."
"Seriously, get some rest."
"Okay." Perry hung up.
"Guess what, Perry?"
Perry opened his eyes and immediately shielded them from the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. "What?"
"Ferb and I got a new game for meTablet." Phineas said, holding up a large electronic device that appeared to be all touch-screen. "It's called The Mims."
"Watch." Ferb sat down next to Perry and took the device from Phineas. "You create a person and give it a name and then you can make it do stuff like go to the bathroom."
"Do you get to choose where it goes to the bathroom?" Perry asked.
"Only the toilet." Ferb said sadly.
"We made our family and our neighbors on it." Phineas said. "But they didn't have a platypus pet option so we had to make you a dog."
"I was just about to ask why I was a labradoodle." Perry said.
"And for some reason, you can't make a single parent and a kid." Phineas said. "So we had to put a dad in Isabella's house."
"But Isabella has a dad." Perry said.
"Yeah, but we never met him." Phineas said. "So as far as we're concerned, he doesn't exist."
"Oh my." Perry said.
"We named him Mr. Garcia-Shapiro." Ferb said, touching a man to zoom in on him. The man was wearing dorky shoes and had a mustache.
MT. GARCIA-SHAPIRO appeared above his head.
"Uh-oh, Ferb. You accidentally named him Mt. Garcia-Shapiro."
"The T was right next to the R." Ferb said.
"And now he is a mountain." Perry said.
"I'm gonna make him fish." Ferb said.
Mt. Garcia walked over to a dock and tossed his entire fishing pole into the water.
"Mountains can't fish, Ferb." Perry said.
"Mims are really bad at stuff until they do it a lot of times." Phineas said. "Like Candace's Mim. We tried to make her dance to music and she threw the CD player out the window."
A giant fish sprang out of the water and swallowed Mt. Garcia.
"I wonder if that's why you never met him." Perry said.
"Oh well." Phineas said. "Goodbye, Mount Garcia."
"You'll be remembered as a hero." Perry said.
"Now we just have to get rid of Baljeet's dad." Phineas said.
"You guys are regular cold-blooded killers today, aren't you?" Perry said.
