To Die By Your Side
or
Diptych
II.
i.
…And if a double-decker bus, crashes into us…
Severus rolled his forehead against the table edge and blew air through his lips. If? Had that not happened already? ("Mudblood!" "I'm sorry." "I'm not interested." "I'm sorry!" "Save your breath.")
…To die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die…
He rocked his head the other way, pressing the hard line into his skull half for punishment, half for boredom. He'd had that chance. He'd always had that chance to join her. The Order of the Phoenix versus the Death Eaters, Dumbledore versus the Dark Lord, and everyone wants to know which side Severus Snape is going to join, which flag he wants to die under. He'd die next to her any die, but live? Live across the line, so far from the Dark Magic he craved?
Fuck, he wished he was brave enough to live for her.
…To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine…
Never never going to be mine.
ii.
…And if a ten-tuck truck, kills the both us...
The line nearly drowned out the sound of shower water turning off upstairs, but James was always paying attention to wherever she was in his vicinity. He had been since he was thirteen.
Trucks were never the problem then of course. Then it had always been any competing boys in the room, any schoolyard dangers, usually contrived and always overdefended by him.
Trucks were never the problem. ("So what now? We finish today and go join up?" "Why not Evans?" "You know this is positively crazy." "Sure it is. But there's no chance either of us are going to back down now, is there?" "Never.")
…To die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die…
They'd joined the Order the same day as graduation, ducking out early from the party even to hasten off to a meeting with Mad-Eye. Sirius, Peter, and Remus had slinked off in that order as well, and they all signed the pledge together. They would live together. Fight together. Be knights of the people together. (Or, wait, something equally bullshitty.) Whatever. Lies they had been told, or maybe told themselves, about how glamorous battle would be. Like a grand slumber party at headquarters where you darted out and played war with the other kids before coming back home in time for dinner. They believed their own myths all the way up until the first members were killed in front of them.
Nothing had really been right since that last good Halloween, had it?
…If a double-decker bus, crashes into us….
Fuck, he wished he'd known what they were getting into before they did it.
…To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine…
