Rachel played with the skirt of her Cheerio uniform as she sat in the front seat of Quinn's VW Beetle. It had been easier than Rachel thought it would to talk Sue into letting her be apart of the squad but with her extensive background dance and gymnastics, topped with her small frame, Sue decided Rachel would make a great flyer. Though her dads were glad she had found something other than glee to occupy her time, neither one had an interest in seeing her cheer. This made Rachel very happy. For a week, Rachel worked with Quinn and Santana to get caught up on the routines for the football games and it took four days for Rachel to get caught up with them on the routine for the sectional's competition for cheerleading. Her schedule was hectic but it was well worth it.
Her day started at five in the morning, when Rachel got up and headed to McKinley. Her dads thought she was working out in the gym with Quinn and Santana but really she was at cheer rehearsals. After that, she'd shower and change into her uniform at school and then attended all her classes. Glee started at three thirty but as far as her fathers' were concerned, Rachel was at Cheer practice.
Two weeks had gone by since the Invitational between Vocal Adrenaline and New Directions and two weeks since Rachel had joined the Cheerios. Her first time performing with the Cheerios at a home football game was coming up and Rachel wanted Shelby to be there. Now that she was sure her dads weren't on to her secretly still being apart of New Directions, she could sneak over to Shelby's before glee started. With only fifteen minutes before the rehearsal was slated to start, Rachel jumped out of Quinn's car as she parked in front of Shelby's house.
Shelby's Range Rover was parked in the driveway and Rachel sprinted across the front yard and up the porch, taking the stairs two at a time. Her slim finger pressed the doorbell twice and she anxiously shifted her weight between her left and right feet as she waited for Shelby to answer the door. It was the middle of October and the weather was getting chiller by the day, making it more and more uncomfortable for Rachel to wear her uniform, especially since Sue banned Rachel from wearing knee socks with her Cheerio's outfit.
Shelby heard the double ringing of her doorbell from the basement, where she was doing some laundry. Taking the stairs two at a time, Shelby beelined for her purse that was on the kitchen counter. She had ordered seven boxes of Girl Scout Cookies three days ago and the little blonde eight year old had promised, she would be back later in the week to deliver the goods. Yanking her checkbook from her purse, Shelby found the pre-written check and dashed to the door.
Rachel had waited for quite sometime for Shelby to answer the door and when she didn't, Rachel assumed Shelby had gone out with a friend and had left her car at home. Retreating down the porch stairs, Rachel began to walk across the still green grass to the mailbox. Shelby opened the front door and saw the cheerleader walking away.
"Rachel?" Shelby was surprised to see Rachel at her house.
Rachel, upon hearing her name, whipped around, staring at her mother. A wide smile spread across Rachel's face and one fell over Shelby's as Rachel walked back towards the house, picking up speed as she went. Shelby placed the check in her pocket and met Rachel at the bottom of the porch steps. For the first time since she was four, Rachel wrapped her arms around Shelby's neck and buried her face into Shelby's neck. Shelby had her arms around Rachel's midsection, lifting the girl up, feeling Rachel's legs wrap around her waist.
"I miss this so much." Shelby whispered into Rachel's hair, her voice was thick with tears.
During the nine weeks Rachel had lived with Shelby, every afternoon when Shelby arrived home from her job as the music teacher at Lima elementary, Rachel would run into Shelby's arms for a hug. The girls' little arms would squeeze tightly around her neck and her short legs would cling to Shelby's waist. Shelby greatly missed coming home to the excited girl.
"I miss this too." Rachel cried into Shelby's neck.
Shelby placed Rachel back on the ground and gently wiped away the tears that were rolling down Rachel's face.
"You're so beautiful." Shelby said. "And all grown up."
"But not so grown up that I don't need a mother." Rachel said, using her own hand to wipe away the last few tears.
"Of course not." Shelby agreed.
"Which is why I am here." Rachel said, unfolding the piece of paper in her hand and she handed it to Shelby. "It's my cheerleading schedule."
"You cheer?"
"For like two weeks." Rachel lightly chuckled. "Ever since my dads banned me from glee following the invitational. They saw you and found out that you're a show choir coach, which is why they forced me to quit the New Directions. However, my friends Quinn and Santana came up with the idea that I join the cheerios to make my dads think I switched to cheering. I'm doing both, except they don't know that."
"I'm sorry, I should have made sure they couldn't see me."
"They would have found out you were there anyway, Mama, you're the coach of the other team. At some point they would have figured it out."
"I guess you're right." Shelby sighed. "It still makes me feel bad that you have to go through all this trouble just to be in glee."
"It's not just to be in glee. I can survive without being glee but I'm doing this to see you." Rachel said. "That's why I'm giving you my cheer schedule. Since my dads hate cheering, you can come watch me."
"You want me there?" Shelby asked.
"Please, Mama?" Rachel begged. "I wanna get to know you and have some sort of a relationship. We can have that now."
"I'll be there." Shelby said, rapidly nodding her head so hard, Rachel thought it was gonna snap off. "Every single one. I promise."
"Thank you." Rachel threw her arms around Shelby.
Santana and Quinn got out of the car to let Rachel know that they were going to have to leave soon to go to glee. They approached the hugging mother and daughter, Quinn used her hand to get Rachel's attention.
"Rach, we have to go." Quinn quietly said and glanced over to Shelby. "Sorry Miss Corcoran."
"Mama, this is Quinn and that's Santana. It was them who thought of having me join the squad."
"Hi girls." Shelby smiled gratefully. "It's very nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too." Santana and Quinn both replied.
"I should go." Rachel hesitantly said.
"Okay." Shelby nodded and gave Rachel on more hug. "I love you, Baby."
"Love you too." Rachel whispered into her mom's chest.
Shelby folded up her blanket, hugging it to her to try and keep just a bit warmer as she climbed down the bleachers of McKinley's football field. Her once hot cup of coffee was now as cold as her and she frowned as she tossed what she referred to as Heaven in a Cup, into the trashcan at the bottom of the bleachers. Shelby tried to move around the crowded pathway that led down to the school parking lot. She saw the large group of cheerleaders entering the side door of McKinley to go into the gym and figured she had quite sometime before Rachel would be done.
It was now December and a thin sheet of snow coated the ground. There was a gentle dust of snow falling from the sky and Shelby started her Range Rover to get the car warmed up while she brushed the snow from her windows. Finally getting into her toasty warm car, Shelby pulled off her mittens and held her frozen fingers to the vents. She tossed her navy knitted hat onto the dash to let it heat up as well while she waited. Fifteen minutes later, Rachel emerged from the school with sweatpants on under her cheerio's skirt and a hoodie was zipped up over the rest of her uniform. Quinn ran out after Rachel, getting her friend's attention. Rachel looked to the SUV, holding up a hand to tell Shelby she'd be a minute and Shelby nodded, giving Rachel a small wave as well.
The girls spoke for several minutes before Rachel made her way to the now warm car, getting in the front seat.
"Sorry, Quinn needed me to explain our History assignment to her. She had a dentist appointment and missed the class."
"That's alright, it gave plenty of time for the car to warm up. You must be freezing from being out in a skirt. At least you are able to have long sleeves." Shelby said, pulling out of her parking spot. "You are getting better and better each game."
"Thanks." Rachel said, holding her hands to the air vents. "It's so freaking cold."
"Here." Shelby said, grabbing the mittens she had tossed by her hat and she handed them to Rachel. "Put these on and sit back."
Rachel slid the gloves on and sighed at the warmth they gave. Shelby looked over at Rachel and smiled but then frowned and pulled over, stopping the car immediately.
"Where's your seatbelt?" Shelby asked.
Rachel blushed and clicked her belt in place. She had been in her mother's car close to eight times since the day she brought Shelby her cheer schedule and knew the rules.
"I forgot." Rachel apologized.
"Let us not forget it again, young lady." Shelby warned and she pulled back on to the road. "You wanted to go to Red Lobster tonight, right?"
"Yeah!" Rachel grinned, she had forgotten that she had asked her mother if they could go two weeks ago when she last saw her. She loved their salads.
"How have you been doing with your eating?" Shelby asked.
It had been a huge concern of Shelby's for the last three weeks as she had witnessed Rachel collapsing in the middle of one of her weekend cheer practices. It had been one of the scariest moments of her life. She had noticed Rachel was sluggish through the first half hour of the practice and was worried that something was wrong, maybe Rachel was becoming exhausted from all of her activities. By the time she reached Rachel, the girl was back on her feet but was complaining of being lightheaded. Shelby demanded that Rachel be pulled out for the rest of practice and didn't even give Sue the chance to tell the teen to suck it up.
Rachel had practiced being a vegan for the five months prior to her collapse but since her dads stopped buying special foods for her and stopped making vegan friendly dinners, it was really hard for Rachel to maintain her chosen lifestyle. Though she had asked her dads multiple times to purchase some foods she was able to eat, the pantry was full of food Rachel couldn't eat. For breakfast Rachel kept it small, a banana and oatmeal or else she'd feel sick during morning cheer practice. School wasn't any better either, for lunch Rachel could usually only order a small salad and water or juice and at home she ate whatever vegetables were served. This was not a proper diet for Rachel, especially with cheerleading and glee.
Shelby was pissed. How hard was it to pick up a few extra items for Rachel? Clearly it hadn't been hard in the weeks and months beforehand, so why had they stopped? Rachel played it off as her not being hungry but Shelby didn't buy it.
What she did buy, though, was vegan snacks for Rachel so she could be a part-time vegan. She would have loved to buy the girl dinner items and other things to cook a real meal with but it would make Hiram and Leroy suspicious. So instead, after making sure Rachel was okay and stopping to feed her, Shelby took her to the grocery store and loaded her up on snacks and a few microwavable dinners that they gave to Quinn to bring to school a few times a week.
"Good. My dads weren't home yesterday night so I saved the lunch Quinn brought me and had it for dinner." Rachel said.
"I'm glad to hear that." Shelby said. "And you haven't been feeling lightheaded at all?"
"Once but I drank one of those protein shakes you got me and I started to feel better."
"Do you need anymore?" Shelby asked. She had bought Rachel a few packs of the shakes and Rachel kept them stored in her school locker, bringing some home as she needed them. "What about your snacks?"
"I'm fine, Mama." Rachel rolled her eyes. It was nice to have a parent who cared but Rachel still wasn't very use to it. "Quinn and Santana's mom's have been getting me lunches too.
"Remind me to give you some money to pay them back when I drop you off."
"They said it was no trouble and for you to not worry about it."
"Nonsense." Shelby replied. Rachel was her daughter to take care of and even though she couldn't physically be there for Rachel every moment, she'd at least take responsibility for her own child's eating.
"Okay." Rachel replied in a sing song voice. She knew Judy and Maribel very well, as they had become like second and third mothers to her, and neither one would ever think about accepting Shelby's money.
"So are you spending the night at Quinn's?"
"Uh, no." Rachel said impishly and Shelby raised her brow.
"What did you do?" Shelby asked, quickly glancing at Rachel, who's mouth was open and ready to spew lies. "The truth, Rachel."
"Quinn and I may have snuck out of her house Monday night." Rachel said.
"You may have or you did?"
"I may have did." Rachel answered.
Shelby pulled into a parking space and killed the engine. Taking her warmed up hat, Shelby slipped it over Rachel's head, tugging it over her high pony. The pair got out of the car and hurried into the restaurant to get out of the cold. Rachel took of her mom's hat and gloves, shoving them into the pockets of her hoodie, knowing Shelby was going to make her wear them when they left. Shelby went ahead of Rachel and put her name down on the waiting list and she returned to Rachel's side, motioning for her to sit on one of the two benches to wait.
"How is Dustin working out?" Rachel asked of the new co-coach Shelby hired to take over in running Vocal Adrenaline's rehearsals when Shelby was spending time with Rachel.
"Quite well actually." Shelby said. She had been hesitant to hire someone to help her out but seeing Rachel was very important. Seeing as Dustin understood that Shelby was in charge overall and didn't try to fight for dominance, she wasn't so worried about working with someone.
"New Directions is very well prepared for our Sectionals competition. Our win at the invitational has given us motivation to defeat the other choirs and go on to demolish your team at Regionals." Rachel said. "While you are currently the best show choir in the nation, your down fall is only inevitable but don't worry my membership to New Directions will keep the legacy going as we make our climb to the top. Perhaps we will be the first mother-daughter duo to hold records of most consecutive wins?"
"Right." Shelby said, lost in Rachel's comments. "However, I am more interested in why you and Quinn skipped school Tuesday."
"We didn't skip school." Rachel corrected. "I just didn't attend two of my classes without permission."
"Whatever." Shelby said, giving Rachel a pointed look to explain herself. "You have thirty seconds."
"I was spending Monday night at Quinn's house and we wanted to go see this movie but Judy said no. We really wanted to go so we snuck out of the house after Judy went to bed. Judy was waiting up for us when we got home and well, we got in trouble. Judy made us go right to bed and the next morning Quinn and I were so tired so we spent our first two classes sleeping in the prop room of the auditorium." Rachel explained. "I'm banned from sleeping over on a school night for two weeks."
"Rachel Barbra, what on earth were you two thinking?" Shelby proclaimed. "What time did the movie start?"
"12:45." Rachel mumbled.
"I can't hear you."
"12:45." Rachel spoke up.
"Meaning you didn't get home until around three." Shelby stated more than asked.
"It was a quarter to four." Rachel said, staring at her hands.
"Lovely." Shelby rubbed her face with her hands. "Rachel, you and Quinn are fifteen and have no business being out of the house at that hour. And not to mention the fact that had you and her been caught by the police, you would have been arrested for breaking curfew. Lima prohibits minors seventeen and under from roaming the streets between the hours of eleven pm and four am."
"Quinn is sixteen." Rachel said. Shelby narrowed her eyes and Rachel tried to ignore the piercing look. "And we didn't get arrested."
"No you didn't and you are lucky." Shelby said. "But that doesn't excuse you from breaking Judy's rule about not seeing the movie. She said no and you should have respected that. When you see her tonight before Quinn takes you home, I expect to hear an apology."
"I already told her I was sorry." Rachel whined. Her first of many and Shelby didn't let it affect the rest of her small lecture.
"So doing it once more shouldn't be an issue." Shelby said, refusing to hear Rachel's objections. "And I don't want to find out about anymore misbehavior with either Judy or Maribel. Is that understood?"
"Yes ma'am." Rachel quietly said.
"Good girl." Shelby smiled and patted her daughter's knee. "Now let's talk about how amazing you were tonight."
"You already said how good I was."
"So I wanna brag." Shelby rolled her eyes with a lazy flick of her wrist. "My baby was the best one out there."
"Mama." Rachel blushed as Shelby wrapped an arm around her.
"Am I embarrassing you?" Shelby asked with a slightly sarcastic tone. She remembered how humiliated she had been at Rachel's age when her parents hugged and clung to her.
Rachel tilted her head at Shelby and gave a small smile, which grew larger. "Of course not." She said, giving Shelby a hug.
A little over an hour later, Shelby and Rachel sat in the black SUV outside of Quinn's house. Shelby was consoling Rachel, who didn't want the night to end. She wanted to go home with her mother, forever. Shelby wanted Rachel to go with her too but there was nothing she could do. She had already spoken to four lawyers, who all told her that due to the contract and giving up her rights almost sixteen years ago, only Hiram and Leroy could start the petition for having her rights reinstated. Unless, there was substantial proof of neglect and/or abuse.
As far as Shelby knew, Rachel being left out in the cold at age four was the only instance of neglect. Shelby had asked many times before if it had happened again or if they had treated her poorly in any other way but Rachel would only shake her head in response. Shelby knew there was more than Rachel was letting on and couldn't do a thing about it until Rachel opened up.
"I'm sorry. I do this every time." Rachel said, wiping away her freshest tears. Rachel knew she needed to tell Shelby about the things her dads did. The only thing that was stopping her was the few memories she had when she was four. Rachel had told and no one but her mom believed her. The cops and judge told her to be good and not leave the house without her fathers' permission. Why would this time be any different?
"Don't be sorry. We will get this all figured out eventually." Shelby whispered, swooping Rachel into a hug. "I love you Rachel and nothing will change that."
Rachel nodded and whispered that she loved Shelby too. The front door to the Fabray house opened up, Quinn and Judy walked down the drive. Rachel gathered her things and Shelby followed her up to meet Quinn and Judy by Quinn's car.
"Good evening, how was dinner?" Judy asked, shaking Shelby's hand.
"It was very nice." Shelby smiled. The two traded a few pleasantries, while Rachel moved to stand next to Quinn. Shelby and Judy stood just a few feet away.
"Anyway," Shelby said a couple minutes later. "I should get going."
She didn't want to risk hanging around the Fabray house too long in case the men came looking for Rachel. She glanced over to Rachel and crooked her finger at the girl. Rachel slumped her shoulders and walked over to her mother. Shelby turned her to face Judy and placed two firm hands on Rachel's shoulders.
"Before I go, Rachel has something she'd like to say." Shelby told Judy and looked down at her daughter. "Rachel."
"I'm sorry for sneaking out of the house and." Rachel started, looking everywhere but at Judy. Shelby noticed this and tapped her arm twice, motioning for her to look Judy in the eyes. Rachel obliged. "And for going to the movie when you said no."
"Apology accepted." Judy said, cupping Rachel's cheek. "But you know what will happen if you break one of my rules again."
A quick wiggle of Judy's brows made Rachel realize she was expecting an answer. Very quietly, almost to the point Shelby couldn't hear, Rachel recited the saying she had been hearing for the last seven years.
"I will find myself in the corner with a very sore bottom."
"That's right because those who break the rules like children, will be punished like children." Judy said, looking up at Shelby, who wore a small smirk.
"Rachel, did you get everything from my car?" Shelby asked.
"Yes Ma'am."
"Alright, then I suggest you and Quinn get going." Shelby hugged Rachel one last time. "Remember, no more trouble."
"Okay, mama." Rachel sniffled as Shelby firmly whispered in her ear.
"Because I can guarantee that my hand hurts worse than Judy's." Shelby said and she felt Rachel tense up. Her point had been made. She straightened up and turned Rachel in the direction of Quinn's car, giving the girl a quick swat for good measure. "Love you, baby."
"Love you too." Rachel grumbled, rubbing her backside. "Come on Quinn."
"Quinn, you take Rachel home and come right back. You understand?" Judy said.
"I will mom." Quinn rolled her eyes as she got into her car.
"And girls!" Shelby called before Quinn or Rachel could shut their doors. "Seatbelts."
"Mama." Rachel griped. "We know."
"Alright, drive carefully." Shelby chuckled and turned to Judy. Her car was directly behind Quinn's, so she was going to have to leave as well. But before she went, Shelby dug out her wallet. "Rachel told me that you and Maribel were buying her some lunches and I wanted to pay you back."
"Shelby, don't worry about it."
"But-"
"Maribel and I see Rachel as one of our own, so it's really no big deal." Judy said. "I still don't understand why the Berry's are being this way."
"Me either." Shelby sighed.
"Has Rachel told you anything more about them?"
"No, I tried to talk to her again today but she said everything was fine."
"Quinn and Santana haven't said a thing either but I know they are hiding something. Of course they've been friends for seven and eight years, they're never going to break. Their friendship is too strong." Judy sadly said of the girls hiding Rachel's secrets. "I'll try to talk to Quinn again sometime."
"Thank you, for everything. I can't be there for Rachel like I want too but knowing she has you and Maribel really helps me feel better."
"It's our pleasure." Judy smiled. "Now put that money away and save it for a vacation or something with Rachel. She's always talking about dragging you to New York City one day."
"That sounds like my girl." Shelby brushed away a tear.
"I know we've only met less than three times but I know things will work out in your favor. It will take some time but in the end Rachel will be with you."
"Thank you." Shelby whispered, afraid that if she spoke louder, she'd start to cry and had to be strong for Rachel. She replaced the money in her purse and pulled out a scrap piece of paper she ripped off from and envelope and used a pen to write down her cell and home number. "And if Miss Rachel finds herself in hot water, don't hesitate to call me. She has my numbers as well but I don't think she'll be in any rush to call me about her wrong doings."
"I am sure she'll be delighted to know that myself and Maribel have a way of contacting you." Judy laughed.
The two ladies peered over to the red car, where Rachel currently had her hands covering her face.
"She looks elated." Shelby laughed with Judy.
Down the road, Quinn and Shelby came to a stop side by side at a stop sign. Rachel, like she did when she was little and was watching Shelby backing out of the driveway to leave for work, blew her mother a kiss. Shelby caught it, pretending to save it for later and blew one back to Rachel. Rachel, unlike Shelby, never liked to save hers and brought her fist to her mouth, planting the air kiss on her lips.
Shelby smiled and turned to the right, heading home. Quinn's car pushed forward and a few blocks later, pulled into the driveway of the Berry house.
"Thanks, Quinn." Rachel said, jumping out of the car. "See you tomorrow!"
"Bye Rach!"
Rachel swallowed hard and opened the front door. Hiram and Leroy were sitting in the livingroom, reading the newspaper and watching some show about the history of the Stock Market. Neither head looked in her direction, even as she softly said hello. Rachel kicked off her shoes and carried her bags up to her bedroom, wishing she could shut her door. No, that had been taken away last week when she locked herself in her room. Locking the door was not allowed and Rachel had done just that. She had only done it because they were taking away her furniture and Rachel didn't want to give up what was left of her bedroom. It was their fault anyway that she had been caught out of bed after hours. Had they called a plumber to come fix the toilet in her bathroom, Rachel wouldn't have had to leave her room in the middle of the night.
Now all that was left was her blankets and a few pillows, stacked neatly in the corner. Everything was taken out of her room, except two blankets, four pillows, a weeks worth of clothes, two pairs of shoes, and a few toiletries. The rest had been boxed up and taken to the off site storage locker on the other side of town.
Changing into her pajamas, Rachel made her bed and laid down on the hard floor. Curling up into her blankets, Rachel shivered slightly. Her room had always been drafty and most of the time she had to sleep with a heater on. That had been removed too. She hated to sleep with socks on and tried to make the best of it by wrapping her toes up in the fleece material.
It was moments like this that Rachel wished she could be brave enough to talk to her mom.
