started this and didn't think it was good enough for a one-shot and then remembered 'Maybe' so worked it out to fit in with this.
hope you all enjoy.

please review and let me know what you think.


Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want

.

Brian sighed as he slowly walked through the brightly lit halls of Mercy General Hospital. He had turned up at the 1-6 half an hour ago to surprise his girlfriend of two years only to find out she was in the hospital, his heart thudded in his throat and his blood ran cold until Amanda quickly informed him of the situation, she wasn't there as a patient.

He looked carefully in the windows of each room hoping to see Olivia and found her at the end of the hallway, standing outside one of the side rooms that was almost completely empty apart from a two chairs and small bed side cabinet and a white crib.

He slowly walked up to her and stood by her side, she never said a word to him, she just stood, her eyes never leaving the sight of the little baby that kicked around in the crib inside the room as the nurse fiddled with one of the wires that was attached to his little chest.

"Amanda told me you were here," He said quietly. "She told me what happened" He turned his head to look at her, her left hand rest against her mouth as she breathed slowly, watching the baby's every move. He could see the tears in her eyes and could practically hear the ticking of her biological clock echoing in the near empty hallway.

"I just wanted to make sure he's okay" She replied, her voice slightly croaky with emotion "He shouldn't have to be alone right now"

"Liv…"

"Don't, just…please, don't"

Brian dug his hands into his pockets. It had been five days since the negative sign showed up on the pregnancy test and he knew it was bothering her. She had hesitantly told him when she came home from work that day, surprised to find him in the kitchen making dinner for the two of them.

"I'm probably not" Olivia sighed "But I just wanted to make sure"

He did nothing but nod, watching her turn the purple box round and round in her trembling hands.

Pregnant, Olivia might be pregnant.

His mind spun over and over while she stared at his blank expression. What if she was pregnant? He was still trying to prove to Tucker that he was worthy of having his shield back which meant he worked almost every hour of the day and basically had to agree and fulfil every command that Tucker set, and Olivia had just been promoted to Sergeant and was acting Captain of SVU until they found a replacement for Cragen. What the hell would they do with a child?

"I'll be back in a minute" She left his side and made her way into the bathroom.

She had been gone for almost fifteen minutes before he'd made his way from the kitchen to their bathroom to make sure she was okay only to find her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, tears cascading down her cheeks, streaking her make up, asking him to look at it for her because she couldn't bear to look at it herself. The tension between them in the small tiled room was unbearable as Brian looked back at her sadly and shook his head. She had laughed and walked through to their bedroom, sadly dumping her body down on the edge of the bed, sighing when he sat beside her and held her hand.

"What the hell was I thinking?" She chuckled through the tears "There was no way I would've been pregnant"

"It's not entirely impossible Liv, I mean we haven't exactly been careful" He reminded her as he kissed the back of her hand

"Yeah but this is me we're talking about, I've never been that lucky"

"Maybe it's for the best" He whispered and squeezed her hand, his heart clenching when she turned her gaze to him, heartbreak swirling in her dark eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look at our lives Liv, we work all hours and I know that would change if we had a kid, hell I'd rather quit my job and be a stay at home dad than work with Tucker every day but right now, with you being Captain and everything, it's just a lot to handle"

"I'm not Captain" She replied with a stern whisper, knowing that he was right, a child was just not a good idea for them right now but it sure as hell didn't stop her wanting one.

"You know what I mean though right?" He kissed her shoulder through the black material of her loose sweater.

"Yeah, I just wish you were wrong"

Brian nodded and wrapped her in his arms, his fingers softly stroking her hair as she began to sob "I know babe, me too"

.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

She nodded and cleared her throat, hoping he couldn't tell that she'd spent almost every second of her time with this baby boy trying not to cry, trying not to let herself get attached "Yeah, they're just running a few tests to make sure he's in good health, keeping an eye on his heart rate and stuff but they said everything looks fine, he's a little anaemic but other than that he's perfect"

He heard her voice shudder as she uttered the last word 'perfect'. He could tell she was attached, she could see it in her face, her body language, everything about her was screaming 'worried mother' when in fact she was just a police officer, she was just someone who saved this little boy from a life of god knows what.

The nurse smiled at the couple as she left the room and held the door open for them "He's wide awake now, he's a very alert baby" She grinned "You can go and see him if you like? I'm just going to get him a bottle"

Olivia nodded and entered the room without even a glance back to see if he had followed. Brian stood outside for a few seconds, watching her face light up as she stood beside the crib, her fingers gently running over the baby's stomach and gently tapping his little nose.

He pushed the door open and stood to the side, leaning against the wall watching her, listening to her quietly whisper to the little boy. Watching her interact with this tiny human being was the most beautiful sight in the world to him, her smile was electric as she let the little boy grip her finger and hold on tight. He smiled as she gently used her free hand to tickle his belly, small grunts and smiles flowing from him as his little bare legs kicked in the air, his tiny baby feet covered in pale blue socks. In this very moment Brian knew that his girlfriend, the love of his life was born to be a mother.

"You can come say Hi" Olivia looked up at him from across the room "I'm not gonna ask you to be his dad or anything, I know he's not ours"

"Liv" Brian felt the stabbing feeling of guilt in his chest as she painfully spoke

"What?" She glared at him "I know what you're thinking, you don't want me to get attached, you don't want me to be around him for too long because my biological clock might explode and I'll go crazy with the desperate need to have a child"

"Liv, stop it, I never said any of that" He insisted

"Yeah but you were thinking it" She mumbled, turning her attention back to the baby and smiling.

"No I wasn't" Brian insisted "I was thinking that I've never seen you look happier than you do right now and I would do anything I could to keep that smile on your face because I'm so damn in-love with you. I'm so sorry that you're not pregnant right now, I know you want a child Liv, I know that you were practically born to be a mother but screw you for thinking that you're the only one out of the two of us who wants a kid"

He pushed himself off the wall just as the nurse came back into the room with a bottle of formula. She happily smiled at the pair of them and walked over the crib and handed the bottle to Olivia.

"You can feed him if you like?"

Olivia smiled and hesitantly took the bottle, her heart swelled as the nurse lifted the little boy out of the crib and handed him to her, his little hand reaching for her hair as she held him close to her chest.

Brian watched from the other side of the room, his own heart bursting against his ribcage as Olivia sat down on the chair by the window and began feeding the hungry infant. He knew he probably shouldn't but he couldn't seem to stop himself, he stepped forward from the wall and took one last glance at his girlfriend and the baby.

"I'll see you at home"

.

He had crashed by the time she had returned home. After his crazy long day at work and then the hospital he had quickly showered when he got home and collapsed into a light sleep. His mind raced the entire night; he couldn't shift the images of his girlfriend crying at the sight of the negative pregnancy test, her waiting outside the hospital room, holding the baby boy that nobody had yet claimed. His imagination soared as he dreamed of their own child or even possibly adopting that little boy in the hospital and once that idea filtered through his tired brain, it wouldn't leave.

Brian quietly dressed early in the morning, swallowing down a cup of steaming coffee as he tried to wake himself up in preparation for the long day ahead. He gently leaned down and pressed a kiss to Olivia's forehead and whispered a meaningful 'I love you' as she slept.

As he drove to work he couldn't get the images from last night out of his mind and decided to take a quick detour. He pulled up into the car park of Mercy General and braced himself against the cold winter air as he stepped out of the car.

He spotted the nurse who was dealing with the little one just hours ago and quickly asked how he was doing and if he could possibly check up on him.

The older woman led Brian down the hallway to the room where the baby boy peacefully slept.

"He should wake soon for a feed" She told him

Brian gazed down into the crib and smiled, the baby laid with one arm above his head and the blanket that lay over him was kicked off down to his feet at some point during the night.

"How old is he?"

"We're not entirely sure, the other kids who were with him couldn't tell us anything, we've guessed from his height and weight that he's around three months, maybe coming up for four. But without knowing for sure, it's only a guess." The nurse explained

"Is there no way to find out? Could you not test his DNA or something? See if his parents are in the system or something?"

"I'm just a nurse, nobody really tells me anything" She smiled at Brian "I'm not sure what they'll do"

Just then the baby stirred in his crib, his wide eyes opening, the flash of green focusing solely on Brian.

"Hey, little man" Brian smiled at the baby who's eyes widened, his mouth then flashing a gummy smile as he noticed that someone was paying attention to him, his little legs kicked as he reached his hands up. Brian put his own hand against the baby's only to have the little hand wrap tight around his ring finger and hold on for dear life.

After spending almost an hour by the baby boy's side, Brian left for work, his mind distracted for the remainder of the day.

.

"You were at the hospital this morning"

Brian stopped dead as he entered their bedroom that night. Olivia sat on the bed with a book in her lap, her dark framed glasses, that he loved to see her in perched neatly on her nose. He removed his tie and shrugged off his blazer, throwing it on the chair near the window and walked over to her, placing his arms on either side of her body and planting a full kiss on her lips, grinning when she smiled against his mouth and cupped his face with her soft hands.

"Yeah, I did" He whispered as he walked away from her and into the bathroom.

Olivia jumped out of bed and braced herself against the doorframe to the bathroom, her arms folded over her chest as he watched him brush his teeth.

"Can I ask why?"

Brian removed his shirt and belt, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth "I felt like it" He shrugged with a slight smile

"Bri…" Her eyes pleaded with him for an honest answer.

He spat into the sink and rinsed his mouth; dumping the toothbrush back in the holder "I just didn't think he should wake up alone"

.

Olivia awoke to the muffled sound of Brian's voice filtering through the apartment, she had gotten in late from work last night and barely had the energy to say hello to him. She buried her face into the pillow when she heard the bedroom door open.

"Shall we go say hi to Mama, little man?" She couldn't help but grin into the dark covered pillow beneath her head and she listened to his quiet whispers of her man and the happy gurgles coming from the little baby boy in his arms.

The mattress sank as Brian climbed back into bed, baby cradled tight in one arm and his free hand holding a bottle and a burping cloth. Olivia rolled over and smiled at them both with tired eyes.

"Hey handsomes" She grinned

"Hey Mama" Brian replied, sitting their son in his lap. "Say good morning to Mama, Evan"

The baby boy squealed with delight as Olivia leaned forward and kissed his chubby cheeks.

"I still think we should've named him Hugo"

Olivia burst out laughing at Brian's statement, mesmerised by their new son who sat bouncing in his fathers lap.

"No, we'd wouldn't have named him Hugo, would we? No we wouldn't" She spoke in a baby voice as she lifted her son into her arms and held him tight, pressing a series of kisses to his face.

It had been a full month since Olivia and Brian had adopted their baby boy. Having spent a decent amount of time with him while he was in the hospital and trying to find his birth parents only to come up with nothing, baby boy doe was officially put in the system. It was then that they decided if having their own child wasn't an option, they should look into adoption, specifically adopting baby boy doe.

The process had gone surprisingly quickly and the couple adopted the baby within the month naming him Evan Benson Cassidy.

Brian watched as Olivia she sat the little boy in her lap, facing him. He began pulling faces to make his son laugh. He watched her closely, her arm wrapped around Evan's middle, her lips pressed against his head.

"Hey…" He reached for her, moving closer to her he wrapped his arm around her back. "Morning Sunshine" He grinned and kissed her mouth.

"Morning babe" She replied, holding his chin with her free hand, grinning when their son squealed between them, his face turning sad indicating he was ready for his morning bottle.

She handed Evan back to his father and watched as Brian sat back against the headboard, sitting Evan in his lap, letting him lay with his back against Brian's stomach and quickly put the bottle to his mouth. Evan's little hand reached up and gripped Brian's thumb that was holding the bottle, his other tiny hand wrapped around his mother's ring finger, gripping the diamond that newly sat upon it.

Three weeks ago Brian had popped the question, completely out of the blue. They were sitting on the couch, cradling their new son trying to decide what his name would be and more importantly, whether he would be a Benson or a Cassidy.

"Well, I was kinda hoping if he was going to be a Cassidy, maybe his Mama would wanna be one as well?"

Brian dropped from his sitting position on the couch down to one knee in front of Olivia. He quickly leaned forward and kissed his son's cheek, who sat happily in his mother's lap, suckling on the pacifier in his mouth.

"Brian…"

"Marry me, Liv?"

She covered her mouth and cried "You're serious?" she laughed

"Of course I am, I've had this thing for a while you know" He grinned gently shaking the little black box that contained the diamond ring in front of her as leaned into her carefully making sure to not crowd the baby.

"Marry me"

"I don't wanna go to work again"

"Yesterday was your first day back" Brian chuckled

Olivia smiled up at him and kissed his arm as she lay by his side, her eyes now focused on their son who had turned his head to stare at her as she spoke.

"Yeah, but everything's different now"

"It sure is" He grinned, running his fingers gently over Evan's soft baby hair as he ate.

"I mean, we're getting a new Captain in a few weeks…"

Brian turned to his fiancée "You're really thinking about this? About leaving SVU?"

Olivia looked at him and shrugged "Maybe, I mean I at least want to cut my hours down. No way can we go back to before."

She watched her son, her son. His bright green eyes gazing at her as he drank from the bottle. Everything in her life was right here in this room, in this bed. She gazed up at Brian who smiled back at her, she knew right then that she wanted to wake up like this every morning, with her boys.

"I love you" She leaned in and kissed Brian's arm and her son's head.

"Which one of us you talking to there, Liv?" Brian chuckled as she leaned up and kissed him on the mouth.

"Both of you"

.


thoughts?

lyrics: Halo - Beyonce

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