"Noooo…. Nooo…Noooo." A mass of bed sheets and comforters shuddered and curled in on itself as sweet golden sunshine streamed in like projectors onto one unsuspecting college student.
"Mattie why. Mattie Help. I'm being assaulted by the sun. This is some type of sexual battery going on here." A golden silkworm by the name of Alfred F jones sluggishly wriggled out of his Captain America themed silk cocoon. His messy mop of hair waved to the world; one side dramatically flattened into a hair ramp off his face. Maybe it was the way he slept. He didn't care.
"HURGh aww yesh right there. That hits the spot." He moaned in what could be described as utter bliss as he completed his final stage of metamorphosis. His computing muscles and sinew pulling just into place with his bones as he arched his back into the 'heavenly morning stretch' position.
He flopped gracefully back into his mattress with his limbs spread eagle, face down in that soft cottony goodness.
'Never want to leave…' He thought to himself. It was the weekend, he deserved the recharge. He wouldn't get up even if the world was exploding. Which it wouldn't anytime soon so he was good to go.
That was, until his stomach started grumbling.
"Why must you always insist on making me hungry, Stomach?" He grabbed the end of the bed and pulled himself up and over the edge. The rest of his body slithered after him and he fell in a heap on the pink carpet. He should probably change that someday. It detracted from his overwhelming manliness.
The smell of fluffy Canadian style pancakes wafted into his room.
The sweet aroma curling between the carpet and under his nose like in one of those old-timey cartoons before drifting up into the vent above his bed. His brethren…oh how it calls him.
"OH MY GOD MATTIE, PANCAKES? PANCAKES?! I LOVE YOOOUUUU~!" Alfred didn't even wait for his body to catch up. In a record 7 seconds he had flashed to the kitchen, feet making impressive skid marks on the tile floor.
Oh yes, Matt wore his special maple leaf apron, flipping pancakes like burgers; one day he'd make a woman very happy.
Or man. He didn't judge.
"Hey Al, could you get the real maple syrup?" He flipped another pancake and then gestured to the cabinet behind him with his spatula.
"Really? What's the special occasion? You nearly beat me to death with your hockey gear last time. Not cool at all, by the way." He scratched his head before grabbing the "MapleOak" brand from the top shelf and placing it on the granite countertop. And then promptly shrieked like a banshee.
"That's an interesting way to say hi, Fredka. Here let me try…." The room was bathed in silence for a good minute with the occasional flop of a perfectly cooked pancake.
"Ah!"
"AHH! Why would you do that?!
"Al, sit down and eat some pancakes. The man even told you that your "training"-he stopped to make air quotes- would start this morning." He snickered as Alfred began to get flustered.
"No." His voice became deeper and patriotic. His left hand instinctually found the right side of his chest-right where his heart was. In an incredibly feat of flexibility he hooked his left leg on the nearest elevated object-which was the granite countertop. Awk."THIS is AMERICA! And I am AMERICAN! AND IN AMERICA WE DO WHAT WE WANT!" He finished with a sharp salute to Ivan and said Snowman clapped giddily at Alfred's ostentatious display. Alfred beamed. The very Heart of America beamed. His leg hair shone in the ambience as it still rested on the countertop. So majestic. A single tear rolled down his subtly tanned cheeks. An ode to his very good childhood.
"You're a tool." Matthew dully stated as he put the heaping pile of golden-brown, warm, fluffy pancakes on the table.
"The pancakes look wonderful Matvey." Ivan ogled the pancakes with something akin to awe. They were stacked so high they brushed the ceiling every time it swayed.
"Oh, Al he's a charmer. You'll get along just fine." Matthew teased as he went to retrieve the syrup.
"Shut up Matt, I am 100% done with your French tendencies. And why is that dude in my chair again? Why is it always my chair?" Alfred sighed as he settled across from Ivan. He glared crossly at his delicious pancakes and crossed his arms over his chest. He was the face of childish tantrum.
And then there was Maple syrup being poured onto his pancakes like waterfalls, and he grinned smugly as his pancakes were being cut into triangular bites. Matt always gave into his pouts. He was about to turn to give his brother an earful before said brother spoke up from the kitchen.
"Awwn… Poor baby can't even cut his own pancakes. How embarrassing."
Alfred turned red as he realized that his personal trainer was basically feeding him.
"Eat. We have to go out soon. Matthew is right. I will feed you if I have to. I can't have you collapsing on me, and…" The man leaned in so close the pink scarf brushed his shoulder. "I wouldn't get to torture you as much."
Pure evil radiated from his misleadingly childish and joyful expression. He could practically hear the depraved whisperings of the exercise demons.
"Aw hells no!" Alfred shot out of his seat. "I want out of this contract right now! There has to be a loophole!" Then again, his old man was a lawyer… Dang it. He still couldn't win. Why was he always losing? Heroes don't lose!
"MY ENTIRE LIFE IS FREAKING RIGGED! IKNEWIT." He stopped to stuff a generous amount of pancake into his maw before continuing his rant. "God, mmm Matt these mmf- pancakes mmf!"
Ivan seemed un-phased by his gross manners as he sat back down and quickly finished his own pancakes. His new student really was such a beautifully flawed creature. Maybe it's the way his hair defies gravity at all times. From his rather super saiyan morning style to his afternoon cowlick…thing. Maybe it was the way pieces of pancake guts flew all the way across the table to softly touch his own face- Eu. What a freak. He decided that he liked his interesting new client. He looked down at his watch and panicked as he realized they were already 20 minutes late!
"Sorry Alfred but we have to go NOW! You can finish your pancakes on the way there!"
He looped strong Russian arms underneath Alfred's slightly jiggly ones from behind and began dragging him out the door. Alfred struggled with half a pancake in his mouth flailing with utterances of what sounded like "AH! COMMIES. MATTIE HELP YOUR BIG BRO! NOOOO I DON'T WANNA! LET ME GO YOU GIANT WHITE GORILLA!" But who could be so sure with that humongous pancake obstruction?
"Thank you for the pancakes Matthew! I'll bring him back in a few!" Alfred, in a last resort attempt hooked his fingers on the door edges and grunted for the struggle.
He looked to Matthew pitifully. Doe-like eyes wholesome and pleading in a silent prayer.
Matthew smiled good-nature fly and waved.
"Have fun you two."
Alfred's grip couldn't possibly go against 215 pounds of pure athletic weight and he broke away soon. The door clicked shut ominously, sealing the Blue-eyed American teen's fate.
A/N: Oh, how it's been so long. I'm so sorry I've been gone. I was busy doing all the school. Did you like it? Please Review/FAV/Fo. Leave your messages in the comment section. Until next time on ATAT.
