2004 Iowa

"Colby you have to get this English grade up," Colby groaned listening to his mother, as she looked over his latest report card up. "I don't want to start taking stuff away." Colby grabbed his book bag, "are you even listening."

"Yes," Colby barked, "you have been nagging since I got out of bed."

"Colby I know the last year has been rough."

Colby hated these talks, and they seemed daily. His mother always wanting to know what was going on at school, with his friends, was he ok. Ever since she and his stepfather divorced.

Colby had never met his biological father. Didn't even have a name. His stepfather had been his only father, he had even adopted Colby when he was two. Colby took his last name. He was the only father Colby wanted to know.

"I just want to know you are ok," his mother shook her head.

"Mom I am fine," Colby gave his generic answer. He couldn't talk to her. He couldn't find the words to explain anything to her. She didn't understand what he was going through. He couldn't tell her most of the people he had grown up with now spent their weekend drunk and high. She didn't understand he didn't want to be nice to her new boyfriend. He couldn't understand why his parents couldn't work things out.

Colby couldn't tell anyone that he worried his stepfather would walk away, just like his birth father. Colby wasn't his actually his, and now that his parents were divorced he didn't have to be his dad. He knew his mother, grandfather, even his stepdad would tell him that would never happen.

"I am going to granddads after school," Colby started for the door.

"Hon, I wish," his mother tried to stop him. Colby pulled away.

"I have to get to school." Colby rushed to the door.

He had been spending more and more time at his grandparents house. They had fixed up the basement for him. He spent many nights there, listening to music and watching wrestling. Things his friends didn't find as interesting.

Colby knew for as long as he could remember he wanted to wrestle. He studied it read about it. He had started training with trampoline his parents brought him. In some ways it isolated him. His friends didn't have the same passion for it. Most didn't have a passion for anything.

"Lopez," Colby turned his head. "Hey man," Colby's friend Keith ran to caught up to him. "How mad was your mom?"

"Mad," Colby answered.

"Yeah my mom is sitting up a meeting," Keith put his finger in quotes, "with the guidance counselor." Both laughed. The sound of a loud car engine made them turn their heads.

A black mustang rolled by, Colby and Keith watched. Inside were Danny Holland and her brother Robbie. The Holland family was well known in town, and it was for nothing good.

Most kids were scared of them. Danny was the same grade as Colby although he had never spoken to her. Her couldn't remember much about her growing up. But now she was something of an urban legend. There were rumors of drugs sex and satin. Her hair was dried a dark purple and her make up was dark and heavy. She always wore black. Danny never spoke to a soul at school. The only interaction was a middle finger or a sneer at these talking about her as she walked by.

She was dropped off and picked up everyday by her brother, who carried his own reputation. Many believed her was a major drug dealer. There were even crazy stories they were not sibling but a couple, or Robbie was Danny's pimp. The story was she was older than seventeen and Robbie sent her to school to recruit new girls.

"Dave said he fucked her," Keith said.

"He says he fucked everyone," Colby huffed.

"Said she is into cutting, likes to have sex in blood," Keith seemed almost in a trance.

"Oh bullshit," Colby shook his head. "Dave is full of shit." But Colby wondered. Danny never did anything to defend herself from any of the rumors.

He had overheard his family talking about the Hollands. His grandfather seemed disgusted and his grandmother always had a hint of pity for them.

Honestly Colby had never seen their house. Couldn't remember what their mother looked like. Their father had past years before. Try as he might Colby could not remember her as a child. The people he went to school with now he had always gone to school with.

Colby sat at the lunch table. He was early and most of the kids were still in class. He pulled his notebook out, he looked around. The only other person in the cafeteria was Danny. She looked up from her book locking eyes with him for a minute. Colby turned back to his notebook. When he could he wrote. It helped him short through all his thoughts. "What is this," the notebook flew away from Colby. He looked up seeing two of the high schools football players. They fit every stereotype ever writing about a high school jock. "Colby got his dairy," they mocked.

Colby had been on the football team, and left this year. He just had not desire for it. But in leaving the team he was outed by them. "Give it to me," Colby grabbed for it.

"Dear dairy," one opened it reading in a high pitched voice, "today I got my period." They both laughed as Colby grabbed again. The cafeteria was starting to fill with people. "I don't understand what is happening to my body," one read as one grabbed Colby by the shirt holding him.

Colby fought the urge to cry. A few people started to form a crowd around them. "Oh Jay, I think Lopez has feeling for you," the one holding the notebook laughed.

"I use to caught him watching me in the locker room," Jay pulled Colby closer. "That why you joined the team? Hun fag," Jay put Colby in head lock.

Colby wanted to fight but wasn't strong enough. "We don't need fags on the team," Jay was in Colby ear. Colby grabbed at his arm.

"Enough," a voice came through the crowd. "Give it to me." Colby saw Danny grabbed the notebook. "Let him go," she barked at Jay. Who seemed shocked and let Colby go with a shove. Danny stood glaring at everyone. They all backed away. Finding their way to their table whispering, some laughed, most only made some facial jester. "Here," Danny shoved the notebook in Colby's hand. Before he could say anything she was gone.

"Man Jay is an ass," Keith said walking next to Colby on the way home. The event in the cafeteria had been the hot topic of the afternoon. "Guess they are still pissed you quick the team.

"Whatever," Colby did not want to talk about. He had hear it from everyone, his step father, his grandparents, his mother. They all were disappointed when he announced he was done with football.

"Do you you really have a dairy," Keith asked in a low voice.

"No," Colby yelled.

"Ok," I mean it is just."

"Just what," Colby barked.

"You kinda changed, is all," Keith raised his eyebrows. "You use to have fun, go out. You just hang out in your grandparents basement, watching wrestling."

"Cause I like it," Colby tossed his hands up. "I don't want to play football, I don't want to get wasted. I just want to be left alone!" Keith stood quite. He and Colby had been friends since pre school. But Colby had changed, they didn't share the same interest anymore.

"Fine man," Keith yelled back. "Go be weird and alone!" Keith stormed off.

Colby adjusted his book bag, he started his walk home, alone. The roar of an engine made him jump. Colby looked up as Danny and her brother drove by. Her window was down, and her arm rested on the door frame. Colby hadn't realized he had stopped walking and was just staring. Danny's head turned looking at Colby. He stood in the middle of the sidewalk both hand on his book bag straps. She looked him up and down as the car past him. And for a second Colby thought he saw a smile.

…..

Colby sat on the couch his grandfather had put in the basement for him. He watched the T.V. and bag of chips settled next to him and a Coke in his hand. His grandmother smiled as she walked by the a laundry basket. "I would have carried it Grandma," Colby said.

"I know your show is now," she places the basket on top of the dryer. "Keith not coming over tonight?"

"No," Colby answered.

"Noticed he didn't walk home with you," his grandmother opened the washing machine.

"Yeah," Colby knew what was coming next.

"Everything ok," she asked.

"I just need a break from people," maybe if he told the truth they would stop asking questions.

"We all need friends hon," his grandmother closed the lid.

"I know," Colby couldn't make his grandmother understand. And he wasn't going to her about what happened in school. "Really I am fine." Colby sat up, "should be happy not running the streets, like grandpa says." They both gave a laugh.

"Don't stay up to late," his grandmother warned as she went back up the stairs.

Colby went back to watching the T.V. He turned thinking he heard something. Hearing it again he got up, he started to the windows. It was dark and they were high. He saw a silver ring hit the glass. He jumped standing back. The hand attached to the ring waved. Colby went to the window unlocking it. Before he could speak, Danny Holland slide through. "Hey," she waved.

Colby didn't know what to say. "How do you," he managed to get out.

"You walk home the same way. Plus I can see the light. Your grandparents have lived here for years. You had your sixth birthday here." Danny looked around. "Just wanted to see if you were ok."

Colby stood just watching her. Danny Holland was standing in his grandparents basement talking to him. "You looked upset and I heard you and your friend fighting." Colby just stared still not able to process this. "Dude do you talk?"

"Yeah," Colby answered wide eyed. "I just didn't, I never thought." He shook his head hoping to clear his thought. "Thank you, for this afternoon."

"I don't like the word fag," Danny said. "So Raw is starting."

"You watch wrestling," Colby said surprised.

"Yeah," Danny sat down on the couch. Colby wasn't sure what to do. What if his grandparents came down? Why was she here? "You make a better door than window," Danny raised her eyebrow. Colby hurried to the far end of the couch.

"I didn't know you liked wrestling," Colby kept his eyes on the television.

"You don't know anything about me," Danny made herself comfortable. "My brother won't watch it with me." A smirk came to Danny's face, "says it's a bunch of fags." Colby only gave her a side glance.