AU: Okay you're all have to forgive me for taking so long to post this chapter. It's been in my laptop for about a week now, sitting there. I wasn't sure how I wanted to end the chapter, or even if I wanted to post this. Unfortunatly this is one of those ideas that sounds good at the start, but then once you get in it you don't know where to go from there. I've been doing some thinking and I think I have a general direction to head into. I'm absolutely horrible for finishing stories, I never like ending a book. Anyway I hope this will keep you satisfied as I try to work this story out. Any suggestions please feel free to tell me!

Thanks for all the support you guys have given me, it really makes my day. If you're feeling considerate please continue to give more! Any opinion is welcomed.


Her dark green eyes. Her smooth, perfect lips. Her shiny auburn hair. Those toned arms, and long legs. Her infectious laugh. Her sexy smile. Everything, right down to her tiniest insecurities was extraordinary. That's why I loved her. Wait, why I still love her. I'm not dead, I know it. Though I can't wake up I know I'm not dead. I can feel the pain in my arm, the aching migraine from my head injury. Whatever the doctors did they kept me alive, and yet I can't seem to wake up. I can't hear what's going on around me either. I feel someone's hand in mine, the soft brush of lips as they kiss my cheek, but I can't hear what they are saying. It's the weirdest feeling, being stuck in this limbo. I feel like I'm floating in a giant empty space, a space that fills with images of Kate whenever I let my mind drift. I can smell her cherry shampoo, hear her tinkling laughter, see her signature eye roll, and yet it's not the same as having her here with me. My heart feels like it's missing something, that it has a new hole that won't be filled until I have her in my arms.

But having her in my arms seems almost impossible, especially given my current situation. She was scared to death back at the house. I couldn't see her face but I knew she was. Hell, so was I. I did after all have a gun pointed at my head. But it wasn't just fear that was coursing through my veins at that moment. A feeling of worry that Kate would be harmed, a feeling of guilt for putting her and the team in this situation, and finally a feeling of sadness that I may never see her or my family again. I remember hearing her try to negotiate with Wilson, and then a sharp pain in my skull as the gun hit my head. Then next thing I knew I was plummeting towards the ground at breakneck speed, the concrete coming up much too fast.

Now I'm lying in a hospital bed, injured and broken, unable to talk or hear anything around me. I can only assume that everyone knows I'm here. If not Kate, Esposito or Ryan would have called Alexis and mother. Alexis. God she must be so worried about me. That must have been whose lips had kissed my cheek. My stupidity has hurt so many people, it's no wonder my body doesn't want to fully wake up, it doesn't want to face the yelling and screaming.


Kate sat there clutching a tissue in her hand. Despite the multiple get well balloons and bouquets surrounding the bed, the hospital room gave off a cold glow. She had been sitting in the same uncomfortable chair for three hours, crying her eyes out as she sat in front of her partner's bed. Her body was aching for sleep, but every time she closed her eyes images of the accident flooded her brain. The more she tried not to think about it the more her conscience nagged at her with guilt. Even though everyone assured her it wasn't her fault, she knew deep down it was. She hadn't cleared the room properly and because of her Castle was now in a coma.

After she had gone to get another of cup of coffee, she had made her way up to the room where she found Alexis and Martha, crying over him. Alexis was holding him in as tight as a hug as she could, as Martha sat on the bed and stroked her hair. They weren't sobbing as Kate was now; instead their tears conveyed something other than sadness and guilt. Their expressions were almost hopeful, even though they had no idea why Castle was in his current mental state, they had hope he would push through it. The sight of him so banged up had triggered the tears flowing from their eyes, but deep down they knew the strength of Richard Castle.

As Kate softly entered the room the duo looked up and forced two watery smiles upon their faces. They both rose up from the bed, and Alexis gave her father a small kiss on the cheek, before leaving his side. Before Kate could speak Martha wrapped her in a hug. Kate didn't bother to resist, she desperately needed a motherly hug right now. She buried her head into Martha's shoulder and mumble out a thank you. As Martha's arms unravelled, Alexis quickly resumed their position on Kate's slight frame. Kate wrapped her arms tenderly around the girl, and laid her cheek on top of her head. "I'm sorry" she whispered. Both Alexis and Martha looked up.

"Don't be sorry detective. What happened to my Dad wasn't your fault. He knew the risks of what he was getting into, and unfortunately he's suffering them." Kate's mouth formed a thin line on her face, as the colour from her cheeks disappeared. "My Dad cares for you so much Kate, and I know he wouldn't want you to feel guilty about it." Kate looked down and gave Alexis a small smile. She did her best to give the Castle family a reassuring look, indicating that she would get through this. After one last glance at Kate and Castle, the other members of the Castle family retreated to the comfort of their home.

Despite Alexis's words Kate couldn't stop feeling guilty. The man she loved was lying in a hospital bed before her, his body there but his mind gone. Even though he appeared relatively the same in the outside Kate noticed a difference. His nose was still slightly crooked, his jaw rough with stubble, and eyes slightly crinkled from years of laughter, and yet he wasn't the same, he wasn't the Castle Kate knew. To Kate Castle was always animated, even when asleep. There was always some sort of expression on his face, more often than not a smile. His eyes always danced with boyhood charm, and his smile always seemed to brighten just slightly whenever she was around. His face held no such expression now. His skin was pale, and his lips remained in a straight, serious line. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she really missed Castle.

If he were awake, he would no doubt be joking through the pain, or annoying her to death. He'd make some comment about them getting to play doctor with one another, and she would attempt to hold back her smile and roll her eyes. She loved their playful banter, their constant come-ons, and their silent conversations. She'd deny it to almost anyone any day of the week, but she truly did love this man. She had felt it for a long time now, ever since he helped on her mom's case. That case had been so trying for her, and he had been there every step of the way. Other than her father, she had never had a man be so loyal, so understanding, so loving to her before. When he had come to tell her he was done, she almost cried. No way in hell was he leaving her, not after all they had been through. At first she thought he wanted to leave because he was like all the other guys she had been with, afraid of any sort of heavy emotion or commitment. But then he surprised her and told her he couldn't be with her because he was had crossed a line, because he had hurt her. He was concerned for her well being, not his. At the moment of selflessness, she had truly realized how far their relationship had come. She convinced him to stay, told him that he made her job, hell her life, better. And it was true, he really did; which was why she loved him.


K I know this chapter is horrible but I needed to include some of the sufferung and realization of the characters. The next chapter will be much better I swear! lol love love love you all if you review, alert or favorite! xoxo