Carlos smiled as he saw Logan approaching. He was always excited to see his boyfriend, they had been together for almost a year and Carlos was still as blind with love as he was the first time he saw Logan, and he had no intention of letting that fade. Now, Carlos isn't stupid. He knew that Logan didn't feel as strong for him as he felt for Logan. He could tell that Logan's mind was always multitasking, working on something else, processing something, he just didn't know what. "Hey, gorgeous boy! How's your day been, so far?"

"Better now that I'm with you." Logan gave a slanted smile as he replied, "Morning was a little rough…"

"It's not even noon. What happened?" Carlos immediately getting over-protective, nothing should ever upset his Logie-bear.

"It's not really a big deal… I somehow woke up to drunk-hung over-passed out Kendall in my bed. Not sure how that one happened. But apparently that triggered a shrieking, harpy rant from the Jo-monster that I just happened to walk in on on my way back from the shower. Not a big deal, I just can't stand that bitch."

"Who can? Haha! I've been trying to deal with her since they started dating in high school. Still can't figure her out." This was true. Carlos and Kendal had been best friends since they played Peewee hockey together, and the two, along with Jo all ended up going to school together. The only time Carlos and Kendall had ever gotten into an argument about anything was when Kendall started dating Jo. On top of being a rampant homophobe, she was an oozing skitch who treated Kendall like her lapdog. Well, actually, worse, she bought toys and gave treats to her lapdog. "Maybe he'll come to his senses eventually, and dump her."

"We can only hope." Logan knew the reasons he and Carlos wanted this were very different, however, he also did really and truly like Carlos, and valued that they could bond over this. Logan knew that he and Kendall wasn't going to happen. Well, his brain knew it. He could conceptualize the fact that Kendall is straight. Kendall likes women. Kendall does not like men, thus Kendall does not, will not, cannot like Logan. He knows this, and yet, Logan's heart still wanted it. But as he looked into Carlos's dark coffee colored eyes, he could feel the love that Carlos had for him, and it felt good. He loved being loved, which is part of the reason why Logan had agreed to go out with him in the first place. Well, that and because Kendall set them up, and he thought it would be a way to get closer to him. Okay, so Logan wasn't the best guy. But to be fair, it was before he really got to know Carlos, before he got to care for him. Before his feelings got really confused…

Logan's brain tells him so many things, more than just that Kendal wouldn't happen. It tells him that Carlos is perfect. Carlos is adorable, and yet sexy, he's bubbly and energetic yet he can be serious and calm and most of all Carlos has a huge heart, a huge heart that he gives openly, honestly and eagerly to Logan without expecting anything in return. Carlos is perfect. It has been tormenting Logan for a while. He really cares for Carlos. He wants to love Carlos back the way that Carlos loves him, and yet he can't get his heart to follow his head.


Logan and Carlos were lying in Logan's bed. As Carlos tried to scoot over and turn off the TV he felt Logan's weight shift on his chest and he could feel the sleeping boy's heart racing. They had been watching movies all evening and Logan had fallen asleep during each one.

Carlos lay there, holding his boyfriend, so at peace. He looked down at the tranquil face on his chest noticing the perturbed look, "What are you dreaming about? You just never stop thinking. I just… I just wonder if it's ever me you're thinking about." Carlos looked around, even though he knew no one was within earshot. He was nervous. It was the first time he had ever actually verbalized his reservations about Logan. And even if it was just to a sleeping boy, it was still a significant moment for him.

"I know you'll never actually say anything out loud… never tell me… but, do you really want to be with me? I- I just… I love you so much and I feel like you're so far away from me right now… well, always, you just keep your distance. I don't know if it's just that you have difficulty letting people in, or if you just can't tell me something. You can tell me anything, you know-"

"love… you…" Logan mumbled in his sleep.

"I love you too! If only you could say that when you were awake! I ju-" Carlos was cut-off and shocked by what he heard next.

"love you… Kendall…"

"No. no. no no no. no. You were supposed to say my name. Say my name, dammit! Please? Please just say my name. Tell me you love ME. Just so I know it's true. Let me know that you feel the way I feel. Tell me that I make you feel alive, that I've changed you the way you've changed me. Please. Just… just love me." Carlos begged the sleeping boy. Tears began to roll down his face. He could feel his heart breaking as the piece of the puzzle began to fit together in his head. The reason why Logan was always distracted, why he wasn't all the way there with Carlos; Kendall. "I gave you my whole heart. You still have it, just don't break it… I can't leave. I can't be without you. I don't want to be without you."


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