A/N: Slow update I know. But I wrote the chapter, but then I had to wrewrite it because I didn't like it, then school started... I don't really like the other chapter so I need your opinion. Should I wrewrite it or change a little and make it longer? Tell me what you think.
After a long day at school Hannah tried to focus on her homework. But all she could think of was the food in her stomach. She wanted to get rid of it, but she was afraid to do it. Last time she did it she purged blood and had a panic-attack. And she didn't want to go through that with her parents and sister home. To relive all the chaos and pain in her body Hannah picked a blade to drag across her wrist.
In case someone would come in to her room Hannah kept looking down on her arms making sure the sleeves covered her cuts.
"Hannah" Meredith said knocking on the door. "We need to talk" she continued and walked in to her room.
"Mom, I have a test tomorrow and I need to study" Hannah said looking down on her arms and then up to her mother.
"This is more important, Sam and dad are waiting for us downstairs" Meredith said taking her hand leading her downstairs. Hannah just sighed and followed her downstairs not sure what they wanted.
Are they going to get a divorce? Is there something wrong with any family member? Is Sam in trouble? Has there been an accident? Is someone sick? Do we have to move? Did they get fired? Were some of the thoughts running through Hannahs mind over and over. But when Meredith sat down in between Derek and Sam and pointed at the empty chair on the other side of the table, she knew they knew.
Hannah didn't want to show how weak she was so she walked over to the chair and sat down with a confident smile. But she wasn't so confident on the inside, because inside her head was 'Ana' telling how much of a failure she was.
You're a failure Hannah, a FAILURE. Now they're going to make you fat to show you how much they hate you. You're weak and stupid. You should have done what I said, and then you wouldn't get caught. Already fat Hannah is getting fatter, all because she's stupid, stupid, STUPID! I hate you, they hate you, everyone hates you all because of this. Stupid, stupid Hannah!
Hannah held back her tears and looked up at her family noticing all of them looked at her waiting for an answer.
"Hannah answer my question" Derek said a little louder.
"Uhm, what question?" Hannah whispered looking down at her hands.
"Are you starving yourself?" Derek said again.
Knowing her voice wasn't strong enough Hannah just shoke her head trying to keep looking confident.
"Hannah, look me in the eyes" Meredith said taking her hand.
Seeing the tears in her mother's eyes made Hannah confidence disappear and tears started to fall down as she looked in to her mother eyes hoping she would understand.
"Oh Hannah why?" Meredith asked wiping away Hannah's tears.
The whole family looked at Hannah waiting for an answer. Once again Hannah didn't say anything not wanting them to know the real reason. To avoid answer the question Hannah ran upstairs to her room. Moving too fast made her dizzy and she barely made it to her bed before she passed out.
Before Meredith and Derek got to the stairs Derek's pager beeped. Derek took his stuff and opened the door and saw Izzie standing outside. He went out the door and Izzie stepped inside.
"Are you guys alright?" Izzie asked looking confused.
"Coffee?" Meredith asked and pointed Izzie to the kitchen.
Izzie just nodded and sat down.
"How can I help you?" Izzie asked taking the cup from Meredith.
"We just confronted Hannah, she didn't say anything but everything is pointing to an eating disorder" Meredith said sitting down in front of Izzie.
"I'm so sorry, how far?" Izzie asked after minutes of silence.
"I don't know, I've made an appointment with Arizona tomorrow. I don't know if she wants me there or if I can be there for her" Meredith whispered looking Izzie in the eyes.
"You want me to take her?" Izzie said with a glimpse in her eyes.
"Yeah, that would be great. You've always been so close and I thought it would be easier" Meredith admitted smiling weakly.
"Have you told her?" Izzie asked also smiling.
She knew the answer before she finished the sentence. So she took the last sip of her coffee and made her way upstairs.
Sam laid in her bed thinking about what just happened. She was scared of what Hannah had become, the person claimed to be her sister but wasn't. She was pale and the life that once filled her eyes was gone. Her thoughts got interrupted when Meredith walked in to her room.
"She'll be fine" Meredith said sitting down on the bed.
"How can you be so sure about that?" Sam asked and moved to sit beside her mother.
"Because Arizona's her doctor, she has us and all of her aunts and uncles want her to go back to the old Hannah" Meredith said and gave Sam a hug.
"Hannah" Izzie said peeking inside Hannah's room.
Not getting an answer she stepped inside seeing Hannah sleeping. When she sat down on the bed she also saw some of the cuts. Feeling heartbroken she took a minute to gather herself up before she had to face Hannah.
Hannah, Hannah
Hannah thought she dreamt but when she felt someone touch her arm she forced her eyes to open.
"What!" she said when she saw Izzie, not happy to be awake.
"Han, you have an appointment with Arizona tomorrow and I'm taking you there" Izzie said taking Hannahs hand.
"What, why?" Hannah said even angrier than before.
"You've lost a lot of weight and need help gaining it back" Izzie answered wiping away some of Hannahs tears.
"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP" Hannah yelled and tried to push Izzie away. But the lack of nutrition made it impossible. So she kept saying "I hate you, go away" instead.
Knowing it wasn't Hannah who said those words Izzie didn't get offended. But since she didn't want to hear more of those words she decided it was best for both of them if she walked away. So she gave Hannah a big hug and a kiss on the forehead before she made her way downstairs.
"Izzie, are you okey? I heard she yelled" Meredith said when she saw her friend.
"I'll be fine" Izzie answered giving Meredith a hug.
"Are you sure, it was some horrible words" Meredith said hugging back.
"Yes I'm sure. She's upset and didn't think straight, that makes those words untrue" Izzie said filling up their coffee cups so they could talk.
