A/N - Second chapter already! I honestly didn't imagine getting as much feedback as I got on the first chapter, so that's... wow! I would like to say that I updated the playlist for this fanfic on my profile, and it's to get a sense of what may come in future chapters, perhaps?

Please enjoy and review!


ii. dirty sadness


Four teenagers tumbled off of the dock.

Onto the boardwalk. Pockets heavy with money. What a happy mess.

They were teasing the one boy. He looked embarrassed. Wanted to make it look like he didn't know these three assholes.

"So what is it you wanted to do on the mainland, exactly?" Lovino asked.

"Shop... Just get off the island, really." Francis explained.

"I can understand getting off the island, but shop for what? Expensive jewelry and cheap T-shirts? We can already find the jewelry in your family house and the cheap T-shirts in Lovino's room." Gilbert said.

"What the hell do you have against me, my God!" snapped Lovino.

Antonio laughed. He pulled the three of them into a candy shop residing on the corner. A bell above them rang. There were endless possibilities in front of them.

Jawbreakers. There went another comment about Lovino's chipped tooth incident.

Gummy cola bottles. He kicked Gilbert.

Jelly beans. Francis tried raspberry, tried crushed pineapple. Ignored his two friends.

Chocolate. Antonio probably didn't need that big bag of dark chocolate rainbow nonpareils, but he bought it anyway.


They walked for a while, found a shop and tried on clothes they found silly or unpleasing.

They saw a movie.

They came back to the island with several fresh pizzas and nonpareils that there beginning to melt.


There was cake. Happy 15th Birthday, Francis! Ice cream. Pizza. Soda.

Swimming. Tennis.

Gilbert was such a sore loser.

The families settled on their respectful logs like several nights before, and Antonio wanted to kiss him. Kiss him so hard. It was terrible. But Daisy was sitting on Lovino's lap, asking him to put her short hair into tiny pigtails, and the adults were right over there.

He let a nonpareil melt in his mouth. Gave a few to Daisy so they could melt on her hands and in her mouth too.

They breathed in the sweet air. It was mixed with the ocean and the fire. So sweet. Crashing and crackling.

"When can I open up my presents?"

"Do you want to now?" Alice asked.

"Before we lose light would be nice," Francis mused in return.

He opened the cards first. A total of $200 he would probably forget about.

Precious drawings from the kids that were colored outside of the lines. That's what made them precious.

He opened the bags from Antonio and Gilbert. Laughed loudly at what their cards said, was forced to read them aloud. He had music to listen to later, DVDs to watch, and jewelry to add to his collection.

The wrapping paper from Lovino's crinkled. A shirt and two books he'd been wanting. Foreign candy. His card was something that couldn't be spoken aloud, but Francis was quick to cover it up. Couldn't swear in front of the kids. It reveals Lovino's true feelings about me, I'm a very good friend that he's happy to have around!

Ellie sat with Francis all that evening. That was apparently her present for him. It required lots of petting. Of course it would.

The night continued on like that.

The families talked. They told stories. They may have laughed until there were tears making their eyes glossy.


At some point, the lightning bugs came out.

At some point, the stars began to twinkle.

At some point, the adults and the kiddies left.

At some point, Antonio kissed Lovino.


A midnight swim. Lovino had suggested it.

There was enough sugar running in their systems that the idea seemed perfect.

The four of them left the light of the fire, bright and golden. They entered the darkness. They embraced the moonlight, glittering and silver.

The four of them didn't count on the water being so cold. They didn't count on missing the warmth of their small fire.

Only Antonio and Lovino stayed.

Their shaky breathing and the rippling water was the only thing they could hear. The distant burning of the fire, the faint chatter of there friends, were some of the things they ignored.

Lovino remained close to him, enough that their hands brushed when they moved to keep afloat. His head was tilted, watching something, perhaps the waves, with a tinged face. Antonio, ever so hesitantly, snatched his hand.

Lovino jolted, but he didn't pull away. His eyes were big and lively, illuminated with the spill of the moonlight. Surprised.

Antonio bit his bottom lip. Leaned down. Tipped his head to close the distance. Lovino's lips were warm.

Wonderfully original. Excitingly eccentric.

Electric. Numbing.

Destruction.

"-WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE, THAT'S AMORE!" howled Francis and Gilbert.

They were standing where the waves thinned and fizzy foam lapped at their ankles, arms thrown over their shoulders and they swayed with smiles and laughter.

Lovino pushed away. Face bright red. He stared, for a second, at Antonio. So scared. Then he splashed the water with a fist and settled a harsh glare for the beach.

"Assholes!" he shouted at the two of them.

Antonio was silent.

They were silent.

"... I… I-I'm sorry, was that stupid of me to do?" Antonio finally asked.

"N-no," Lovino spoke hastily. Looked at him, and then looked at the water. "It… It was nice."

"Was it?"

"Yeah… Just Francis and Gil is all. Annoying bastards."

They swam to shore. Put the fire out. Went to their family houses.

Acted like it never happened.


The following week was not composed of early-morning missions for chocolate or awkward kisses.

Antonio wished it was.

Antonio wished he wasn't as in love as he totally was. It felt like Lovino was holding his bloody, beating heart in his slim, dangerous hands and - knowing Antonio would feel it so strongly - simply began crushing it.

Well, that's what a crush did, right? A crush crushed.

He filled his week with awkward mason jar drinks, awkward melting nonpareils, awkward tennis matches, and awkward fluttering fireflies.


When Antonio found him, Lovino was on the Vargas house porch, tucked away on the hammock with a blanket and a book.

Antonio balanced himself on the railing beside him.

"Hi Lovi…"

A glance. "... Hello."

"Are you mad?"

Lovino kept his focus on the book, the corner of the crisp page pricking his fingertip. He seemed to pout. "Not at you, if that's what you're wondering. It was a nice first kiss." Lovino finally said. Flipped the page. Began to read.

"Oh?" asked Antonio. Got down. Crawled in beside him.

Couldn't believe he'd been Lovino's first. Antonio had had one or three unimportant kisses by then. Lovino was important.

Lovino's bony shoulder brushed his. "You're fine, stupid. It's just Grandpa was fussing earlier and took Daisy to the Beilschmidt house. Don't know what started him, but God was it annoying as hell."

"Tomas went there too."

Lovino hummed. Bookmarked his page. Closed the book. They kissed.

Went inside, stumbling. Kissed again.

The back screen door slammed shut. They leaned against the kitchen counter. Stood in the blinding light of late afternoon. Innocent kisses.

"... What are we?"

Antonio pecked his forehead. "Aren't we together?"

"That depends. Am I just a summer fling or am I something permanent?" Lovino asked.

"I… I'd like to think you're something permanent." Antonio said. He stepped away, hand on the back of his neck. Everything suddenly felt so suffocating.

Like, instead of crushing his heart, Lovino was crushing his neck. Because that's what a crush did. A crush crushed.

Lovino found it hard to meet Antonio's gaze. He stared at the tiled floor, his shuffling feet in black socks. "T-that's why… I kind of ignored you this week. I just needed time to think."

"Is a week enough?"

"I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't."

Antonio gave a small smile.

Lovino's smile was smaller. The sunlight caught in his eyes. They kissed again.

And somewhere, the front door threw open. Lovino froze, Antonio held his wrist. They closed the back door carefully, slowly.

Hid their shadows.

Listened to the screaming.

They sat crouched on the side of the house, hearing Grandpa shout at Alice and Alice shout at Grandpa. About the island. About Ben. The two boys were quiet, but thankful that it seemed like Daisy wasn't there. Lovino buried his face in his hands. Antonio hugged him.

Lovino began to cry.


That morning, a rock hit his window.

And another.

And another.

Antonio's eyes snapped open. He sat upright. Yawned. Checked his phone. He carried himself to the balcony doors, throwing himself into the rainy blue morning light. His bare feet brushed the scattered rocks that littered the balcony.

The waves were crying.

The birds were wailing.

The sky was gray and angry.

"I was trying to sleep." Antonio said. It was six in the morning.

Rocks fell from his hand. His eyes flashed. Same oversized, black T-shirt. Same short-shorts. Same ankle socks. Same gentle, mischievous smile.

"Were you really? With the way you're smiling, it seems like you were expecting me."

"Perhaps that's so."

"So if you were expecting me, then you must've also been expecting a trip to the mainland for chocolate."

Antonio grinned.


When they were leaving the mainland with smudges of chocolate on the corners of their mouths, it began to rain.


Antonio woke up.

He was tangled in the blankets with Lovino beside him and scattered aluminum wrappers of red and silver about them.


That night, they joined the kiddies in catching fireflies.


Eventually, summer was seeing its last days as July drifted into August.

They wanted to play tennis, but they kept slipping on wet leaves of vermillion, sepia, and plum. Gilbert twisted his ankle.

The water was slowly becoming too cold to swim, and Lovino tried to prove them wrong, but ended up with a nasty cold for two weeks.

August meant autumn. Meant school. Meant Lovino leaving.

On the last day of Lovino's stay at the island for his summer vacation, the four of them played one last attempt at tennis. They laid on the beach, getting caked in sand. Ate chocolate and got it smudged at the corners of their mouths.

"Well, at least we're free from watching you two make out for a few months, right?" Francis joked. Gilbert laughed.

"Assholes." muttered Lovino.

"Well," started Antonio. "at least it didn't get awkward between the four of us…"

The other three hummed.

They decided to make a fire later that night, just the four of them.

They gathered sticks and branches, shriveled leaves and avoided anything too wet. They ripped old newspapers up and poured a cup of gasoline. Lovino struck the match and they caught on fire.

"Wanna make mountain pies?" Francis asked.

So they did.

They found the iron maker and cleaned it off. They raided the kitchens for bread and their desired ingredients for pizza mountain pies. They headed back for their fire.

Francis prepared Lovino's pizza mountain pie, sticking in the one slice of bread that was covered simply in tomato sauce from a can set aside and shredded mozzarella. He tucked the other slice of bread on top of it, snapping the iron maker shut with skill and placing it carefully into the fire.

"Five minutes," he told, and ruffled Lovino's hair.

Lovino rolled his eyes. Laced his fingers with Antonio's.

Soon enough, they were all enjoying crisp mountain pies that burned their tongues. They told stories and laughed. They were quiet and sad.

It was their last night together for the summer, and the four didn't want to see it end.


It was hot come noon the next day, and they all stood on the docks.

Lovino couldn't stall by holding his hand anymore, so Antonio helped him step into the boat as it bobbed and swayed.

He'd already given Francis and Gilbert their farewell kicks to the shin.

He'd hugged the kiddies goodbye because they looked ready to cry.

Told Alice and Tomas to have a nice rest of the year.

"Do I get a kiss?" Antonio hoped, instead of a kick.

"But I have to get back to Philadelphia-aa!" Lovino whined, but at that moment he didn't care. He took ahold of Antonio's face with a grin on his lips. They kissed, long and delicate. After getting over the fact that their teeth clacked lightly on impact, and they pulled away with tiny smiles.

"I'll call when I get home." he murmured, and the motor roared to life.

"You better."

"Of course."

The boat left the dock.

Antonio wanted to scream, but he was silent.