Just Robin, on a motorcycle putting out a cigarette, gettin' on there, Barney on the back... Just riding off into the sunset. – Cobie's ideal ending to the show.

June 2016

"You did not tell me we were doing this."

"Yes I did."

"No, you most certainly did not."

"I did, this morning, just before we left, in the cab here – three times."

"Oh, well that doesn't count then."

"How doesn't it count?"

"Because you were wearing that leather catsuit, there's no way I was going to listen to you in that. I had more important things to do. Like imagine undoing the zipper, peeling it off you slowly, running my hands along the skin it reveals, pulling..."

"We'll do that later baby, now we're doing this."

"Can't we just skip to the later bit?"

"Barney, you were the one who said you wanted to try this."

"Yes, last week, hypothetically, mostly just to impress the others and to see you wear that and look badass. Can't I just watch you?"

"No."

"Are you sure you know how to do this?"

"Yes. My dad taught me when I was twelve. I can literally do this with my eyes closed."

"Please don't."

"I won't. You'll be fine Barney. Even Ted and Marshall tried it that one time remember."

"Ted fell off and broke his arm."

"That was funny."

"Yeah, it was."

"Come on though, Barney, you're not going to Ted it up. You're not that lame."

"I know I'm not. I'm awesome... just, you know, try to stick to the speed limit."

"God Barney, you're such a girl."

"I'm not a girl. I'm very manly."

"Oh Robin, don't go above 5 mph, I might wet myself like I did in Marshall's Fiero."

"Firstly, that never happened. Secondly I am too manly. You didn't seem to be complaining about my manliness last night."

"Heh, no I wasn't."

"Exactly, and there will be no more of that coming from me for at least a month if you continue to insult me like that."

"Oh really?"

"Yes... well a week... a day... Robin, stop looking at me like that! And stop taking... actually no, carry on..."

...

"Ahem, yeah, where were we? Get on the motorcycle Barney."

"Are you 100 percent sure this is safe?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Robin, I trust you to avenge my death when playing laser tag, I trust you to always be hilarious when you're making fun of Ted, I trust you to still look smoking hot even when you're old and wrinkly and I'd trust you to be the best possible fighting and sexual companion when robots take over the world – I just don't trust you on a motorcycle. You've got far too much crazy Canadian blood for you to do this, you'll go all road ragey!"

"Road ragey?"

"Come on Robin, you go all road ragey in normal cars!"

"No I don't!"

"Beep, beep! You're going too slow, can't you hurry up? My trip down this endless dust filled road on the world's longest trip to Canada, that I made poor, innocent Barney go on because I suck at remembering to book planes, is more important than your equally stupid dust filled adventure!"

"Ok, firstly they were going too slowly and secondly..."

"They were already about 20 miles over the speed limit."

"Secondly, it was your job to book tickets."

"Yeah but Robin, Canada, I was hoping you'd take the hint and just take the tickets I'd got to Hawaii instead."

"I had to see my family. Anyway, we went there afterwards."

"Yeah we did. It was awesome. We should go again."

"I don't think the hotel will let us after that incident in the pool."

"Heh. Worth it. Somewhere in the Caribbean then?"

"Mmmm, that sounds nice. But I know you're trying to distract me and it's not going to work. Just get on the bike Barney. I promise I'll go easy on you, 20, 30 miles over the speed limit at most."

"30?"

"As opposed to 50."

"Canadians. Promise you'll notice if I fall off."

"Of course I will."

"You won't be so into it that I'll fall off and you'll drive off without me, leaving me to die in the middle of nowhere of heat exhaustion?"

"I think I'd notice if the constant stream of whining stopped."

"I'm not whining I'm just concerned that... Urgh, I need a cigarette before we go. Want one?"

"Can't, I gave up remember?"

"But you'd look so badass, in that suit, your hair blowing in the wind, the bike vibrating between your legs, blowing smoke rings, not a care in the world. It would be so hot..."

"Mmmm, it would be but..."

"Come on, I won't tell Ted."

"Fine, just one."

"See, I told you. Smoking hot."

"I think you just beat Marshall on the world's worst pun."

"No I didn't. I'm awesome."

"Ok here we go, I'm in front, you sit right behind me."

"Heh, I remember when we were last in this position."

"Ok, put your arms around my waist."

"Ok."

"My waist, Barney."

"I like my hands here better."

"And your chances of distracting me and the bike crashing have gone up about 83 percent."

"Fine, spoilsport."

"Ok, here we go,"

"Um..."

"Yes this revving is normal, no the bike's not going to explode. Yes, I'm still in complete control."

"Good. Oh Robin?"

"Yes?"

"Just to let you know, if you hear some girly screams, they're probably from the motorbike protesting at its proximity to too much collective awesomeness."

"And if I you tell me 'flugelhorn' I assume that means it's simply too much for the motorcycle to bare and we have to stop immediately and lie to the others about how far we rode?"

"Please?"

"As long as you're not too pathetic – don't say it within the first mile."

"Hrrm... fine."

"Ok, you ready?"

"...yes."

"Into the sunset we go."