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To My Dearest Honey
By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com)

"Here, put this on right now."

I tried to look as menacing as I could, but one of my age and height against someone of Misato's age and height... I hoped I didn't look the part of a cornered animal, because I sure felt like it. "No! I'm not like Shinji! You can't just order me around like you can with him!"

Shinji stared at me. He was already wearing the ludicrous "synch outfit", a clashing ensemble of black spandex shorts and a loose fitting top that threatened to fall off the shoulders. It was a sad excuse for a woman's blouse. Maybe something she picked up at a thrift store? The black music notes trailing up the front made me think of a marching band gone berserk.

And that spineless jerk didn't even hesitate to put it on! Hell, he hesitated when I gave him my plugsuit, which I think has a lot more class than this! But no, just a simple nod of the head and a couple of minutes later he was dressed. With no embarrassment evident in his face.

There's nothing worse than a housebroken male.

"Are you going to put this on willingly, or am I going to have Shinji put it on you for you?"

I recoiled and gave her the most hateful look I could muster. Shinji even got to his feet and was glaring at her. "N-Now Misato, you can't mean such things!" I snapped my attention to him and noticed that a bright red flush was staining his cheeks and nose. When he saw the look on my face, he shrank back. I knew he was a pervert. I knew it.

"So what's it going to be, Asuka?"

"You know, this has to be some form of child abuse," I insisted. "Wait until everyone at the headquarters hears about this. You'll be demoted for sure."

Misato had a confident smile on her face. "It was approved by Commander Ikari himself."

"Father did?" Shinji stepped beside me, and I could feel his arm brush against mine. I yanked my arm away and shoved him farther away from me. No one touches me.

"Yes. Just give it up Asuka. You'll make these next four days unbearable if you act like this."

If I was going down, I was taking everyone with me.

I glanced at the clock. We had been arguing for almost half an hour on this subject alone. In total, Misato took what seemed like hours to tell us of the plan. The time was now 2:27. In the morning.

Why aren't you getting tired, damn you?

I thought I could wear her down. I thought she'd be finished with my mouth after the first hour. Apparently, she could go on for longer than I could. I was wearing myself down. I growled and snatched the outfit out of Misato's outstretched hand. She was smirking in triumph. I said, "I'll be damned if that pervert gets within an inch of touching me. I'll put this on myself, thank you."

Said pervert let out a huge sigh. He was probably thinking the same thing I was. Time to go to sleep. Shinji shuffled off to his room and closed the door. Misato strolled over and flung the door wide open. He hadn't even gotten to his bed and was standing with his back to the door. "No, it has to stay open."

"But it doesn't start until tomorrow!" Shinji took a step forward. "I can keep it closed until I wake up tomorrow."

Well, he has a little bit of a spine. But not much.

"Ah..." Misato tapped a finger to her forehead. "But I'm leaving you two to yourselves now. And... tomorrow was yesterday. It's tomorrow right now."

Shinji blinked, and I felt like knocking myself out. According to the plan, Misato would only come to this apartment during our "twister test". NERV rented the apartment next door and Misato would always be there. "Well then, I'll leave you two to yourselves." She flashed me a thumbs up and slid the door to the hallway open. "Don't do anything I wouldn't approve of during the night, okay?"

I scowled at her. "In his dreams."

"Tomorrow then. Bright and early at 7:00 ."

"Fine."

"Don't forget, cameras are installed all over this place. I'll know when you aren't following my commands."

When the door clicked shut, it dawned on me. This was true isolation. Somehow she had managed to bolt the door so it couldn't be opened from the inside. She was a harsh taskmaster and had anticipated all my moves. No going anywhere inside without the other, no going outside period. We were connected at the hip, everywhere. She even suggested to harbor a feeling of togetherness that we take baths together.

Shinji's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

No way.

She suggested that we didn't have to be in the shower together, we just had to be present in the bathroom when the other way taking a shower.

Not good enough, Misato.

Then as her final statement on baths, she said the door must be open to the bathroom and the person standing outside. I reluctantly agreed to this. I had gained so much ground that I didn't want to risk losing it.

"So what do we do now?" I asked rhetorically.

Shinji stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. "You put on that... that thing, and then we go to sleep." We stood there and looked at each other for a moment. I don't think we both believed the situation we were in. I felt so lost.

"Stop staring at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable." He averted his eyes to the ground and headed towards his bed. Though I would never admit it aloud, I was partially saying that to myself.

The lights clicked off by some unseen force until only the bathroom's was on.

"Hey, where am I supposed to sleep?"

A muffled voice from the other room answered me. "Misato didn't say. But I'm guessing in my room."

I laughed at him. "Yeah right, you just can't wait to have me sleeping beside you."

"I have a blanket in here."

He seemed unaffected by my flirtatious remark. In fact, he just seemed tired. This angered me for some unexplained reason. I think it was because I knew that no man had ever resisted my charm. Except maybe Kaji, but I swore he would fall one day. "I don't need your damn sympathy. I'm sleeping on the couch until Misato says otherwise. Got it?"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

*****

My backbone felt a little better since yesterday's escape with the Angel, but I noted that the pain transferred itself to my neck. It was throbbing as if it was hit with a sledgehammer. I wished I had unpacked my pillow before conking out. I woke up on the couch, right fist still clenching that outfit. I stumbled over to the bathroom and felt my arms up and down. I was freezing.

Actually, I had already known that I was freezing myself. I woke up numerous times during the night and rubbed my legs together for a little bit of warmth. I had to tuck my feet into the cushions and use my hair as a makeshift blanket to cover my arms.

Now I know why my neck hurts.

I was mad. Why didn't that idiot put a blanket on me when he knew I was solidifying into a block of ice? I immaturely stomped my foot on the bathroom floor in an effort to keep the black spandex from riding up. Maybe it'll have the added bonus of waking him up from his warm and cuddly sleep. Or maybe the neighbors below us.

There was a knock on the door. "Are you in there, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"Who else would be in here?" I asked dryly as I shoved the blouse over my head. Did that boy have no sense along with no backbone?

"Are you finished?" I didn't have time to answer to this new voice, because the door whipped open and revealed a too happy Misato and Shinji. She was holding him up by a fistful of fabric, and his hands were over his eyes. "Sleep well?" she asked innocently.

I exploded. I wasn't really mad at Misato, just the fact that she brought someone to watch what could have been a free show. And Sohryu Asuka Langley doesn't give anything for free. "I could have been naked in here! And look, dragging in a boy to watch!"

"But I'm not watching!" He didn't remove his hands from his eyes. I found that amusing. For being so perverted, Ikari Shinji was also virginal.

This calmed me down quite a bit. I must have been staring too long at Shinji because Misato tapped her foot and looked at me haughtily. She didn't have to put into words what she was saying with her eyes.

Katsuragi Misato is a bigger pervert than Ikari Shinji.

God save me.

*****

Breakfast consisted of two eggs over easy, three slices of bacon, and a hash brown. Shinji said he didn't like bacon. Too much grease. I said I hated hash browns. Too little grease. We both had to eat everything on our plate. I drew the line when Misato said we had to feed each other from our chopsticks. "We're not babies!" we declared in unison.

Misato smiled.

After making us wash the dishes together (three of them broke, mainly because I threw them on the ground), Shinji said he had to go to the bathroom. Misato smiled again and made me stand outside the open bathroom door. I stood with my hands over my ears and my eyes screwed shut.

Now, let me get one thing perfectly clear: I'm not uncomfortable with sex. After being in college, I found that it can get you where you want to go. A formfitting top one day can turn the heads of all the guys, even if you are feeling like shit. And my thirteen-year-old head burst with all the compliments from the men. They said I looked beautiful. They said I was so grown-up.

Someone tapped my shoulder. "He's finished. You can stop acting now."

"What?!" I poked Misato on her stomach. "Are you implying that I was watching or hearing any of that?"

"I wasn't implying anything."

Shinji looked embarrassed. This was probably harder for him than it was for me. I suddenly felt myself feeling sorry for the poor boy, but that quickly vanished. He was the cause of all this in the first place. Maybe I could hold it in for four days...

"What do we do now, Misato?"

"Yeah, great almighty leader. What is your all knowing judgment?"

Misato actually seemed to contemplate this and put her fingers underneath her chin. When she didn't say anything, I looked over at Shinji. She was up to no good, I knew it. "Before I leave, I want you two to hold hands."

"What did you say?"

"What the hell!?"

She clapped her hands together. "Just kidding."

"Misato..." I growled. "That's not funny."

Shinji thought it was a little humorous because a smile crept over his face. Once I glared at him though, that smile shot back down to hell where it came from. Only the Devil himself could find that amusing. "Watch it, Third Child. You're treading on dangerous ground here." I leaned in close to him and found it funny how his face was drenched in flame. "The bathroom door is always open, and I know where the knives are kept."

My purple haired guardian shook her head. "You've only been in the same house nine hours and you're already making threats of dismemberment?"

"M-M-Misato?"

"Hn?"

Shinji gulped. I didn't move from my position inches from his face. "D-Don't leave me here."

"Oh, and why don't you want to be alone with me?" I lowered my voice to a sultry purr. I call it my sexy voice. Once the sexy voice turns on, so do the men. The boy looked ready to faint. I would stop this kind of teasing, but with him it was just too much fun. A part of me vowed that I would teach him how to stand up for himself and have some self-confidence before four days were up.

"I-I—"

I shoved him away in annoyance and he landed in Misato's arms. "Geez stupid, when are you going to grow a spine already?"

He glared at me and pushed away from Misato. "I do have a spine. I'm not the one throwing herself all over me."

"And what's that supposed to mean?!" I noticed that Misato was already in the kitchen, quietly sipping a cup of coffee. How did she get there so quickly? Shinji said nothing. Instead, he put his hands down to his sides and stared at the ground. "Huh? Answer me, Third Child!"

I'll have him know that I wasn't throwing myself all over anyone. Maybe Kaji, but that's because I liked him a lot. He was grown up, and he had a brain. And a spine. That was child's play, that voice I used on him. At least I wasn't feeling him up as I've been known to do to others in the past.

"Let's just drop it, all right?"

It sounded like an apology to me. I huffed and tried to burn a hole in his head with my eyes. "Fine. This'll all be over in four days, let's at least try to keep a bit of sanity."

He raised his eyes from the ground. "Fine."

Yet again, another long staring contest. This time, it was even longer than the first. I snapped at him that if he stared at me, he could make it a little less obvious. In a surprise show of vertebrae, he snapped back that at least he was staring at what was above my shoulders, not between them.

I screamed that he was perverted when he walked out of the room.

For the rest of the day, she worked us like dogs. After the apartment was sparkling form top to bottom, Shinji and I were beat. No matter if it was a one person job like sweeping the floor, Misato always found a way to make it a two person job. For example, while I worked the broom, Shinji would control the dustpan. Or when we did laundry, Shinji would scrub and I would wring the clothes.

But that wasn't the worst of it. When it came time to make lunch, I did the cooking while Shinji brought me the ingredients. We argued for fifteen minutes on what to make for lunch. Finally, we decided to get it delivered. It took fifteen minutes to decide which restaurant to buy food from. When we did decide, I dialed the phone while we both talked in synchronization to the befuddled telephone boy.

"How does this thing work, anyways?" Misato handed me a small black box that looked like a tape cassette player. She gave Shinji one too. The two were connected by a wire about five feet in length. "Do you play tapes in it?"

"It's an SDAT player with a slight modification. You are to wear it all the time unless I tell you otherwise."

Shinji put the headphones on his ears. I did the same. "It doesn't feel any different from my old player."

"Turn on the switch on the left side."

We both did the same, and then I heard a high-pitched ringing in my ears. I flinched. So did Shinji.

"What is this, Misato?" we both asked. We were perfectly in unison. I was so caught off guard that I just stared at Shinji and scratched my head. He was staring back and scratching his head at the same time as well. "Misato!" We exclaimed. "What is this doing to us?!"

I moved my right hand, he moved his left hand. He shook his head to the right, I shook mine to the left. I took a step forward, and so did he. I couldn't believe it; he was mimicking my every move. Well, you couldn't call it mimicking if it was done at exactly the same moment. I couldn't tell who was mimicking who.

Misato explained. "There's a special chip inside that monitors brain waves in... uh... that area of your brain that controls speech and motor movements."

"You mean the cerebrum and temporal lobe?" we both asked. I looked at Shinji, was that his thought or mine?

Misato laughed uneasily. "I wasn't really paying attention when Ritsuko explained it to me, but it monitors the brain waves. Half of what you do and half of what you do merge together so you two will act as one." She must have seen the skeptical look on my face. "Or something like that."

"You mean to tell me you can read my thoughts?" I demanded of Shinji. He asked me the same thing at the same time, only a lot quieter.

Misato stepped in. "No, it can't read thoughts. It only obeys impulses from both of you. Once a happy medium is reached, then you two will act on it."

"How?"

She shrugged. "She said it had something to do with the oscillations on the brain waves. Each movement has its own unique vibration. I'm guessing it travels through the wire and into your ears. The brain picks up on the vibration and acts accordingly."

I took off my headphones. Shinji did the same. This was starting to make sense to me. Was NERV really this advanced to be doing this? And why? What in the world would they have use for something like this? "So, if I willingly punch myself in the stomach, would he punch himself?" I might actually enjoy this.

"I don't know."

Shinji shifted from foot to foot. "When are we supposed to wear this?"

"You wear it when you're not sleeping, taking a shower, or if you don't want to talk to the other person." Misato's eyes went all soft, and I couldn't figure out why. "If you wish to speak to each other and actually hold a conversation, then feel free to take them off. Synchronization stems from understanding the person standing right next to you. Talking to each other is better for harmony than using this chip."

I stuck my tongue out at her and put my headphones on. At least I wouldn't have to talk to him. "This thing can be beaten, I know it."

When Misato left, she told us that she would return near sundown to see if we had synchronized. She told us to practice our twister test and said it didn't have to be perfect, to which I wryly added that it probably wouldn't be. Well, at least I'd be perfect, but Shinji would be another story.

He didn't say anything.

"And remember, I'm watching your every move," she said cryptically. I think we both shuddered. The door clicked yet again, and we found ourselves alone. Another uncomfortable silence.

"What do we do now?" Sundown wasn't for another hour or so, what in the world could we do in the meantime?

The modified SDAT player clipped onto our spandex shorts and kept it out of our way, except for that cord that ran between us. He put the headphones on his ears and shrugged. "I guess all we can do is practice." I felt insulted. I didn't know whether he was putting those headphones on his ears because we had to or because he didn't want to hear me talk.

"Now don't be reading my thoughts, you pervert."

"I'm not a pervert. Stop calling me such names."

"Whatever." I grudgingly put mine on too and flipped the switch. Suddenly, I saw my mannerisms in his body and felt his in mine. I felt foreign to myself. It was certainly a strange feeling.

The aptly named "twister test" didn't require much thought. From what it looked like, all you had to do was put your hands down on the lighted circle. Misato named it the "twister test" off an old game that she used to play called (surprisingly) Twister. The only reason I had heard of it before was that I played it briefly in America.

When I stepped onto the mat, Shinji did the same on the other side. Once the mat sensed added weight, various circles started blinking. Shinji got to his knees and started pressing the circles. I did the same, but it wasn't anything close to what Shinji was doing. No matter what circles I pressed, it felt like I was doing something wrong.

"What the hell is the matter with this thing?"

Once those words flew out, I knew they had also flown out of Shinji's mouth. He had his hand over his face, as if he couldn't believe the vulgarity.

"Have you got yours turned on?" we asked each other.

"Of course I do!" I nearly screamed it. "I think this stupid thing's broken."

Shinji didn't say anything.

What's going on?

"Here, let me take a look at it."

My heart must have stopped beating when he walked over to me. I didn't move. I couldn't even think. I saw my hand move towards his SDAT player while his moved for mine. Before I knew it, both our right hands were on each other's waists, fingers flipping the switches up and down.

Yes, I know. It shouldn't have been tense, but it was. Painfully so. I did the only thing I was taught to do in uncomfortable situations and push the offender away.

"Get your hands off me." I said deliberately. I pushed his chest forcefully and he staggered back. The thing must be broken, because if it really does what it says it does, then he would have pushed me back. Instead, he just looked at me with a mixture of betrayal and confusion on his face.

I didn't know what to say either.

It was at that time the doorbell rang.

We greeted Hikari and other two stooges, in perfect harmony, might I add. I wasn't thinking at all at this point. It was a combination of the degradation, tiredness, and overwhelming circumstance that set me on autopilot. Misato arrived with Ayanami Rei and they all sat down together and watched how far Shinji and I progressed.

Which was nowhere.

I tried to think about what I was doing, I mean, making a really conscious effort to pay attention. But it seemed the more I concentrated, the more mistakes I would make. 100% was the target "twister test" ratio. Right now, I think we were averaging about a 4%. It frustrated me. It had to be my incompetent partner. It couldn't be me doing all this, I was concentrating and thinking the hardest.

I could hear their laughter from behind the acute wail of the headphones. I didn't know if they were laughing at me or at each other. They were probably laughing at Shinji.

Of course. I never make mistakes.

I angrily threw my headphones to the ground. "That's it! I can't sink to the level of this... this... animated turnip!" I spat. The boy had crashed down onto the mat and was lying face down on the ground. It really did disgust me.

"So, you give up?"

Of course not; Sohryu Asuka Langley never gives up. However, I do like to bask in my glory. Nothing makes me feel happier than knowing that I have a job that no one else can do. "But you have no one else, do you?"

She closed her eyes. "Rei."

"Yes."

"Why don't you give it a try?"

"Yes."

I stood rooted to my spot as the blue haired girl casually walked over and put on new headphones. To my shock (and the shock of everyone else), Shinji and her were in perfect synchronization. Each circle, each beep, matched up exactly.

"Well, maybe I should alter the operation and make a pair of Shinji and Rei."

I didn't know what to say. I tried to ask if she would give me another chance, but that would be groveling. I never grovel. Then I tried saying that it worked before and doesn't work now, but that sounded stupid even in my mind. Then I said that my damn SDATs were broken and Rei's wasn't. I think all that came out was a series of gasps and incoherent sounds.

My inability to speak finally sent me storming out of the room. "I can't stand this anymore!" and I truly meant it. I slammed the door as hard as I could in hopes of breaking it. Unfortunately, it only bounced back harmlessly. I couldn't even get a pleasurable sound, at least a door slam would satiate my rage a little bit.

I hate this. Why did I have to come to Japan? Why couldn't I stay in Germany? The Japanese with their masked emotions made no sense to me. You never knew what they were truly feeling or thinking. I felt like a stranger, even to my own Evangelion. When your Evangelion is your life, you are scared of losing it.

I felt it slowly slipping out of my grasp.

Rei and Shinji would be made a team, and I would be left all alone. Again. Rei took my place.

I think it was at that moment that I decided I didn't like Ayanami Rei.

I must have wandered outside for a half an hour before stepping into a convenience store. What was the point of staying inside the apartment now? The operation was no longer mine.

"Where are the drinks?"

The pimply faced cashier boy pointed towards a row of refrigerators. I trudged over and opened the refrigerator door softly. There was really no point of being angry now, it really didn't get you anywhere. Despite my boisterous outward show, I knew that deep down inside such childish tantrums were often ignored. I don't know what possesses me to act this way, but I still do. I haven't changed since childhood.

I don't know how long I sat there with the door open and the cold washing over me. Frankly, I didn't really care. All that went through my mind was how I couldn't finish a job that I started.

My God, I'm pathetic.

After about ten minutes, I heard the tinkle of the bell. Another customer. They walked slowly and purposefully to where I was squatting. Their shadow came over me, and I could see someone's reflection in the glass.

"Um..."

It was Shinji.

"No, don't say anything. I already know." I really just wanted to be left alone, but it gladdened my heart that he went after me. He cared at least that much. Obviously, the operation wasn't changed or else he wouldn't be standing there. I stood up, clutching a can of something in one hand and a sandwich in another. "My job is to pilot Eva. I have no other choice."

I gave a can to Shinji, a can that I didn't even remember picking up. We walked back to Misato's apartment in companionable silence. Once I opened the door, I saw that everyone had already gone. We were alone again. Shinji and I walked out to the private balcony overlooking the city. He sat up while I jumped on top of the bench. The sunset was beautiful. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

My ego has a strange way of taking over my mouth when pride was at stake. "I don't know, but I know I'll put Rei and Misato to shame!" The boldness of the remark surprised even me.

It apparently surprised Shinji too. "You don't have to squash them."

I don't want to squash them!

Didn't he know that it was more than killing this Angel now? It was a matter of overcoming obstacles, finishing what was started, and showing the world what I could do! It had nothing to do with Misato and Rei, I just wanted to show them want the Second Child was capable of. "You're thinking far too simplistic, even if you are a man. It's honor now... my pride... that's all that matters now is my dignity."

I wouldn't find this out until later, but when I said that, one of Misato's cameras just happened to be focused in on Shinji's face. I assumed his silence was that he was taking in my breathtaking words. Instead, he didn't speak because he had the most loving smile on his face. I had never seen a smile like that before.

How I wished I saw him. Maybe then... I could have smiled back.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: Romantic sap comes through. Lord have mercy...