A/n: I may change the rating of this fanfic soon. Thanks for the reviews guys.
Ashley's POV
I sat in my car debating if I should go back inside the hospital or not. I knew I shouldn't have called Aiden, why did I do such a stupid thing? They way he was talking at prom; he is not going to be any help with my Spencer problem. He just wants to be with me again, I can't do that, I'm in love with Spencer now.
I looked at my hands, they were shaking, and my knuckles were red from pounding on the steering wheel. I can't see Aiden, he is going to make this worse and I know Spencer won't let me in if I go charging in there. I am going to give her a day to cool off, I know she will come around...she has too.
I felt my phone vibrate and I look at the caller ID, I scoffed at the sight of Aiden's name. I threw my phone in the passenger seat. This is Aiden's fault Spencer is upset with me. I cannot see him right now. I heard my phone beep, he must have left a voicemail, I thought to myself. I picked up my phone and listened to it. "Hey Ash, I am at your house like you asked. But you are nowhere to be found. I will wait around a little longer, you sounded pretty upset when I talked to you on the phone. See you soon."
I need to get out of this parking lot. I sped off and started driving, to anywhere. I started driving to the Carlin's house and I parked in their driveway. I had the undying urge to lie in Spencer's bed and be inside of her room. I hope they let me in. I dreaded every step I took towards the house. I knocked twice on the door and Mr. Carlin came to the door with open arms.
"Oh, Ashley," he said as he hugged me, "are you okay? Come in please. We are just about to eat dinner and then go visit Spencer. You are welcome to join us for both." He smiled as he consoled me.
I didn't know how to tell him that his daughter is refusing to see me. "That's very nice of you Mr. C, but I can't eat. I don't have an appetite at all, I was wondering if I could just go to Spencer's room and--" I did not know how to put my words into a sentence. I wanted to go sit in the room so I can feel close to her, I needed to be next to her and the closest thing was being in her room.
"You don't need to explain, Ashley. Make yourself comfortable and come down and join us if you change your mind."
Mr. Carlin gave me a gentle kiss on the top of head and let me go up the stairs. I stopped midway up the stairs and turned around to smile at him. He always made me feel better about myself.
I opened the door to Spencer's room and I could smell her all over her room. It was a certain smell I could never forget. It was one of those different house smells and it reminded of Spencer. I looked around the room and it was exactly how we left it on prom night, not a single thing moved.
I sat on the edge of her bed just staring at all the pictures and at her clothes in her closet. I felt my eyes get watery, I knew what was coming. I felt a stream of tears roll down my right eye first, fall down, and hit my jeans. I could not hold it in any longer, I sat there and cried.
I looked at Spencer's bed and found her stuffed animal; I took it and clutched it in my arms. It was just a small stuffed animal but somehow it made me feel safe. I laid down on Spencer's bed and stared into the ceiling.
I cried myself to sleep on Spencer's bed. It felt bittersweet. Distant yelling woke me up in the middle of the night. I went up the door and cracked it open. I could hear clearly that Paula and Mr. C were fighting.
"I come home Arthur after taking care of Spencer ALL DAY and all these sick patients and I find dirty dishes in the sink?! All I ask is that someone cleans their damn dishes Arthur!"
Why is Paula getting so upset of dishes? I ask myself.
"Is this really about the dishes, Paula? You want to talk about dirty dishes? Dirty woman, that's what you are. What about you and Ben, I saw the way he was consoling you today when I came to see Spencer. It looked more than friendly to me. I thought we got passed that!"
I heard Arthur hit his hands on a table.
"I was upset over Spencer, Arthur! He just came in the room to check on me and I was crying and he was just comforting me! Nothing happened! Why won't you trust me!?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe 'cause you almost ruined our marriage over a college love! God Paula, I don't want to talk about this. We are going to wake the kids."
Too late, I whispered aloud. I heard them both stop talking. Shit, I hope they didn't hear me; I quickly ran back to the bed and pretended I was sleeping. I heard them start arguing again, I was safe.
"Why the hell is Ashley in our daughter's room? I don't want her in this house, if Spencer doesn't want to see her then all the better. She can stay until morning, but you have to kick her out after that, Arthur." I heard Paula walk away.
"No, can't you see Ashley is a disaster? She wouldn't eat, she looks upset, and I will not kick her out of this house. She needs family right now, and Spencer is all the family that girl has."
I heard Paula scoff and walk down the steps.
I went back to sleep on Spencer's bed. The smell of Spencer's hair remained on her pillow and it soothed me right back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and remained in Spencer's room until I knew Paula had left. I knew I was going back to that hospital to see Spencer, she had to of changed her mind by now. There is no way I am giving up this easily.
I put on my shoes and headed for the door, but not before Mr. C stopped me. "Hey Ashley, how did you sleep? Well? You know you are welcomed in this house anytime."
"Thanks, that means a lot to me Mr. C. I slept great, thank you." I smile and nod my head.
"Hey, Paula said Spencer is going to be in the hospital for about five more days. She lost a lot of blood and her wound is still pretty bad. I am going to swing down there in a bit if you would like to join me?"
"Thanks, but I am going down there right now. I wanted to see her alone, thanks anyways." I smiled and let myself out the door.
I arrived at the hospital and I stood in the hallway outside of Spencer's door. She could not see me and I was working up the courage to enter. I didn't know if I could take Spencer shooting me down again.
I gently knock on the door and I hear Spencer say, "Come in." So I let myself in.
I saw her face light up and smile once she saw me. I smiled back and was excited that she was actually looking at me this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spencer's POV
I heard a knock on the door and deep down I was hoping it was Ashley. I shouted, "Come in," as I shouted I clenched my stomach, it hurt to even speak loudly.
I saw Ashley's face enter the room and I couldn't help but smile. She came back, I thought. I knew I had to be happy now, because it wasn't going to last that long.
"Hey Spencer, I just want to talk to you," She said with her convincing eyes.
I nodded my head and gestured for her to sit down. "I'm listening Ashley."
"I'm sorry for everything, Spencer. I am so glad you made it through all of that. I love you so much; I don't know what I would have done without you." She came closer and went to grab my hand to hold.
I let her for a second, Ashley's touch made me feel so right. As the calm feeling wore off, I quickly took my hand back.
"What's wrong?" Ashley asked me with a concerned look.
"This Ashley. You know, what my last thought would have been if I didn't survive being shot? DO YOU?"
Ashley shook her head, "What Spencer?"
"My last thought would have been, wow Ashley can't decide between me and Aiden she still has feelings for him and still loves him. You still want him Ashley! I heard you scream his name as the shots were being fired! You know how that felt? It hurt worse then getting shot. Hearing you scream his name and not mine as I was being shot? It hurt me so much, Ashley." I felt my wound hurting more, the anger made me upset. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.
"It wasn't like that Spencer. I want to be here for you, I am in this all the way. I was confused for just a second Spencer. Aiden sprung that on me, I was still in shock when you came up to us on the dance floor. I never got a chance to speak."
"You didn't have to Ashley; I saw it in your face." I wiped away my tears, but as soon as I would wipe them away, more came strolling down my face.
"Spencer, what are you saying? You don't want to be with me?" I could see Ashley's face melt; she was making it harder for me than I thought she would.
"You...you need to figure out who you want Ashley and I can't guarantee I will be around when that happens."
"But I want you Spencer, I know that. I can feel it with all my heart that I want you! I need you Spencer, you are everything to me." Ashley came over and grabbed my hand, "Please Spencer."
I looked at Ashley in the eyes I could see her starting to cry. I knew I wanted to be with Ashley, but she made that decision hard. Why does love have to be so hard? I didn't know what to say to Ashley, I wanted to be with her but I knew I shouldn't be. She ripped my heart out and stepped on it.
I wanted to forgive her but she didn't know if she wanted Aiden or me yet.
"Ashley, I can't be with someone who isn't sure they want to be with me. Don't tell me you are, because I was worried about this for a while and I finally got my proof." I made a painful face and clenched my wound. "Ashley," I yelped with pain, "you need to find my mom. This is hurting more than it should."
"I love you Spencer." She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I looked at her in the eyes as she was pulling away and held her face there. I leaned in and gave her a long gentle kiss on the lips...I knew it was going to be our last one.
Ashley opened her eyes and was surprised at what I just did. I whispered to her, "I love you too Ashley. I wanted our last kiss to be special, to mean something."
I saw Ashley's face melt when I said our last kiss. She quickly ran out of the room to find my mom.
I saw my mom running in the room with Ashley. She went directly to my wound and lifted up the white bandage covering my stitches. This was my first time actually looking at it. It was bad, I had bruises surrounding the entire wound and I saw the stitches in a vertical line that seemed to go on forever. The bandage my mom lifted up had blood all over it. My mom didn't look to happy when she was looking at my stitches.
"Spencer, some of your stitches have popped out. Did you try to get up? What happened?" She put her hands on her hips and then started looking for her latex gloves.
I looked at Ashley and I remembered as soon as I got upset and moved my stomach area my wound starting hurting. "No, Mom. I don't know what happened. I was just sitting here talking to Ashley."
"Ashley you better go, you probably made her upset. Stress is not good for a recovering stitches or recovering a bullet wound." Paula looked up at me as she was fixing the stitches.
"I--" Ashley could barely get the words out of her mouth. "I--I'll come by tomorrow Spencer."
She waited for my approving nod or gesture; I just sat and looked at her. I wanted to say yes, because I was going to be cooped up in this hospital for another five days. I couldn't be her girlfriend anymore but that doesn't mean I cannot have a friend while I am recovering. So I smiled and nodded at her. "I'll see you tomorrow Ashley."
I saw her face glow as she heard my response. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea, but I still did love her and nothing would ever change that.
