Rick picked her up easily and took her back to the bedroom. He laid her gently on the mattress and scooped up behind her, adjusting the sheet over her body, then settling a hand firmly over her stomach and pressing a kiss on her bare shoulder. Kate gave a content hum, the tingling still in her limbs and grinned down into the pillow. She could so get used to this, to him; oh god he was incredible.

"I love you Kate," Rick murmured at the back of her neck.

A shock of electricity ran down Kate's spine. She turned over within his arms quickly; he looked a little surprised. She pushed up, so she could see his face, so he could see hers unencumbered. She opened her mouth and focused on his eyes. But she gawped. The words wouldn't come out. She wanted to say it too. She wanted to say it back. But she couldn't make the words come out. She floundered.

"It's ok," Rick told her softly, his face compassionate. "You don't have to say it if you're not ready to."

"I want to," Kate managed.

"It's enough that you're here, considering. You don't have to..."

"But I do!"

Rick looked surprised at that too. "I do," Kate repeated firmly. Of that she was sure. But when she tried again to say three simple words her throat would not cooperate. It clammed up. She gave a frustrated sigh and pushed her head against his shoulder so she could hide her face. Rick dropped his back to the mattress and she went with him, draped over his broad chest.

"No pressure Kate," he spoke.

She lifted her head again and met his eye, leaning a hand on his chest; to keep him or her steady, it didn't matter. "It's not right. I should be able to say it."

"Maybe you're not ready?" His mouth gave a shrug.

A glimmer of doubt. "Maybe," she admitted, her gaze drifting absently to the pillow beneath his head. But at least he hadn't suggested that she didn't love him.

A hand stroked at her bare shoulder, then down her spine to her waist and her eyes were drawn to his. "I've been here a long time. Ready. Maybe you just need a little longer to get to the same place too." His eyes were so hopeful.

Kate nodded and pushed up to kiss him. The hand at her waist tightened. She wasn't sure if that was to steady her or him. When she broke away she held his eye intensely. "It's not because I don't ok? I do. I just... I need you to know that."

Rick nodded obediently. Kate kissed him again then dropped her head with a groan. "I'm so screwed up."

"You're not screwed up," Rick immediately countered.

"I am," Kate spoke to his sternum. "I am," she raised her head again. "But I'm working on it." She felt the need to convince him.

Rick's hand was in her hair, brushing it back from her face. "I don't think you're screwed up."

Kate gave him a slightly unimpressed expression.

"No more than me," he gave her an innocent response and she laughed. He immediately broke into a grin. "I've waited Kate," he told her, serious again. "I can wait."

"I don't want you to wait," she almost whined. "You've waited long enough."

Rick gave her salacious grin. "It was so worth the wait." Kate gave him a bashful smile and when he chuckled she admitted another light laugh. The bubbling warmth threatened to explode out of her chest. She kissed him again, warm and soothing; couldn't get enough kisses. "Can I ask you something?" Rick went on when she broke away a little.

Kate schooled her features, waiting.

"Have you ever said it? I love you?"

"Yes," Kate answered easily. "But I'm not sure I really meant it," she elaborated without prompting; she really did enjoy talking to him. Not until now. Now she knew what love really meant. Loyalty and unconditional.

"Did you love Josh?"

Kate watched his face for a moment, seeking out the reasoning, trying to guess the underlying intentions. But Rick's face was open, neutral, asking, not demanding; no hints of hurt or jealousy. If he had an ulterior motive she didn't see it. "No," Kate finally answered. "I thought I did. But I didn't." It felt like nothing compared to loving Rick, to the way Rick loved her. "My turn?" Kate asked into the silence. Rick gave a 'go ahead' shrug. "What happened with you and Meredith?"

He was surprised. She saw it on his face and in the stiffening of the muscles she was lying on. "Wow straight into it."

Kate gave a shrug of her own; almost challenging him to refuse to respond. If he did, she might not mind, but it would make her think.

"She... What do you want to know?"

"Why you got divorced."

Rick blinked a second. "She... She cheated on me so I filed for divorce."

Oh wow. She wasn't actually expecting that. She was expecting... Him. That's what she was expecting. She thought it was him, that he'd done something, that he'd driven her away or something.

"We were too young and Meredith had a lot of ambition," Rick went on.

"You don't have to tell me," Kate tried, somehow wanting to take the question back; as if she could erase the return of a painful memory.

"Cat's out of the bag now," Rick told her with wide eyes. Then he fell into an easy smile and curled his hand around the edge of her ear. "I don't mind talking about it. Want to know about Gina too?"

Yes.

"No, it's ok."

"That one really was my fault. I was looking for something... I thought having someone around was really nice and I wanted a mother for Alexis. Meredith was gone all the time, even when we were married. Not the best reasons to get hitched. And one day I realised that it wasn't working. We were fighting a lot so I called it off. Shouldn't have done it in the first place."

Kate gave a slight nod. She was listening. But she wasn't judging. She wasn't sure she could. It was somehow admirable, wanting something good for his daughter. Yet she had been thinking the worst all these years only for her to have the story so wrong; she had reassessing to do.

Rick's face suddenly went ashen. "The bath!" He sat up as Kate slid away and they both headed quickly to the en suite. The bath was overflowing onto the white tiled floor; piles of bubbles marked the high tide. But the water was trickling to the low point in the tiles under the shower door, where there was a drain. Rick laughed and pattered through the small lake to turn off the taps. "It's cold," he noted.

"There's no more hot water?"

Rick pulled the plug. "No. You had it on cold." He turned to flick water at her and Kate backed up a step, raising her hands in protest.

"I could still use that shower," she noted.

"I'll get you a towel."

2

They stepped out onto the sidewalk and sun. Kate reached for Rick's hand. He looked down at her and gave a smile. She was so much more physically affectionate than he had thought, or expected and it was fantastic. She seemed to want to touch him all the time, take his hand, comb her fingers through his hair, stroking his jaw and nose and lips. And then there were the kisses, all the time; lips simply against his skin. She leaned on his arm as they started walking and Rick's heart felt so light he might just float away on the breeze. And yeah, he had a million other clichés that were starting to feel less cringe-worthy and much more realistic; for once he understood them.

Kate was in her clothes from yesterday and they were on their way to her apartment so she could get something clean to wear (Rick hoped that meant she was going to pack a bag). And to get out of the loft for a while. Rick could tell when Kate was getting restless; she was a woman who needed to be in motion. They weaved their way through foot traffic, pulling slightly apart, only to come together again, their fingers fused as one, bonded. When Rick got back to the bathroom with a spare towel, Kate was already under the water, washing shampoo out of her hair. Her back was to the shower door and as he stepped in he could see those bruises; large and purple and obviously painful. There was one the shape of a boot. Rick felt a surge of anger and regret.

"I shouldn't have left you," he muttered through a thick throat.

Kate turned to him startled, her mouth slightly open. Rick went to her, his hands lightly on her skin. The bruises in the front were worse, which meant she hadn't curled up on herself for protection while she was kicked in the back. It meant she had taken the majority of the blows head on. Now that Rick could see them he was amazed he hadn't noticed last night. And this morning. Figured he only saw what he was looking for.

"I'm fine," Kate told him.

"You're not fine," Rick countered. "You could have a broken rib."

"I do not have a broken rib," Kate dismissed with a slight eye roll. So Kate. "I'd know if something was broken."

Rick pouted. Yep, he pouted. Kate reached up a hand to smooth back the hair fallen forward on his forehead. "If you were there..." she looked pensive for a moment. "He got the drop on me and Espo. If you were there..."

She didn't have to say it. Rick could imagine. It could have been worse. Or it could have been better. There would have been three of them against that one guy. Much better odds like that.

"He was a professional Castle."

Back to Castle then.

"Even with three of us there he would probably have still got the better of us."

Wow that was freaky. And kind of cool. She could read his mind?

"I'm glad you didn't get hurt," Kate went on. She pulled him closer under the water, so their thighs were brushing.

"I could have saved you," Rick murmured. The thought of her dangling off a building, clinging on for dear life, thinking about letting go. It made him feel sick.

Kate pulled his head down against hers. "I thought it was you, coming to save me."

Rick went still, listening, trying to drown out the water to catch her soft words.

"I thought I could hear you. And when it wasn't, when it was Ryan who pulled me over... I was so..." She paused. She didn't have to finish it. Disappointed, relieved, scared, hurt. "But I'm glad. I'm glad you weren't there. That you stuck to what you'd said. Because you were right. It was madness. And I wouldn't have realised. I was blinded. But I wouldn't have realised what you mean to me if..."

Rick pressed a kiss against her mouth this time, not to quieten her, but because he just couldn't stand not to any longer. He pulled her body against his and kissed the fresh water from her lips. He wasn't sure, but he liked to think she had maybe cried a little then. That was how he would have written that scene.

Rick slowed near a newsstand and studied the headlines. Beside him, Kate searched the crowd, and waited patiently. She was amazing. So amazing. She was working with him, indulging him, understanding. She was telling him things, instead of making him figure them out, and that meant she was opening up and trusting. And that was amazing. They might just make it if they both carried on this way. And he knew love faded all too easily if either of them strayed too far away from the other.

He was in the middle of cracking a joke with the newsstand attendant when the gun shot cut over the street.