Throwing on my Beater robes wasn't the part that took so long. Fixing my mess of hair was the tricky part. I guess that was one quality I shared with James: Messy, uncontrolable hair. Giving up in frustration, I just snapped a hair-tie in my curls and it obeyed, staying out of my face and rolling down my back. I slipped into my shoes and ran to practice.
Another thing I will never know is why I schedualed practice so soon after classes ended. I hardly had given myself an hour to prepare. And not only was this practice, but try-outs, as well. We'd lost not only lost one of our Chasers, but also our other Beater. Our Keeper was injured and would be out most the season. That part was a shame. The Chaser who had graduated had always been quite friendly to me. The Beater, not so much, but I delt with him.
"Oi, captain Potter!" called one of my teammates as I ran over. He said "captain" bitterly, as he thought he should've held that position. "You're late for your own practice!"
"I'm very aware of that, Smith," I snapped back, then softened a little. "Team members, thank you for attending this practice. Hopefuls, thank you for coming."
"You're quite welcome," Smith muttered, and I glared at him, then, once again, softened.
"Bones, Smith, get talking to the Chaser hopefuls. Take them over and sit them beneath the rings," I instructed, and Amiela Bones, our Chaser, nodded. Smith, our other chaser, glared, but nodded, as well. "Tell them all of our rules and such."
"Diggory, since you've got nothing to do," I added, looking at Amos, our Seeker, "Inform those Gryffindor gits who are walking our way in uniform that we've got permission to use the field." Amos saluted me, and I rolled my eyes and he took off towards the Gryffindors who were, of course, led by my brother.
"McLaggen, you may be injured," I said to our hurt Keeper, "But you've still got to help pick out your replacement. Take them up to the rings to lecture them about 'Proper Keeping Techniques' or whatever." He glared at me, but did so.
I stood with the hopeful Beaters. There was three. I prayed one of them was good. One was a first year boy called Zeller. Another, a second year girl named Finch, and a second year boy named Jones.
"All right, kiddies," I began, "We-.."
"I tried to get 'em to go away," Diggory interupted, the Gryffindors right behind him, "But they wouldn't leave.."
"Hey, Brilly!" said James perkily, "Nice to see ya! Get off of our field."
"James Potter!" I yelled, punching him in the arm as hard as I could, "This is our field, we've got permission!"
"Permission, she says!" Sirius chuckled as James rubbed the arm I struck. I forgot Sirius was on the team now. James put him on two years ago when he became captain. No suprise there. "Show her the slip!"
"What slip?" I asked. James answered by showing me a piece of paper which I read outloud. "I, Professor Minerva MgGonagall, hereby give the Gryffindors permission to practice today."
James smirked. Sirius chuckled. The other Gryffindors just sort of stood there. Diggory shrugged in apology.
"Wow, Jamie," I said, smirking as well, "You really did your homework on this one." I pulled a folded piece of paper out of my pocket, "But I'm afraid you won't be practicing."
"I, Professor Pomona Sprout, hereby give the Hufflepuffs permission to use the field," James read.
"Guess you'll be leaving," I said confidentally. "Yours just says 'permission to practice'. Ours says we get the field. You'll have to practice somewhere else."
"That's not fair!" James shouted, "The time on the slip says ours was signed first!"
"Well, we got here first!" I shouted back.
"Could I maybe help here?" said Professor Dumbledore, who none of us had seen or heard walk over and stand behind Sirius. Sirius hadn't even noticed that Dumbledore had placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Well, Sir," said James, "Our slip says we have permission to practice, and it was signed before theirs."
"Ah," said Dumbledore, "Sounds reasonable that the Gryffindors should play."
"But, Sir!" I protested, "Our slip says we have permission to use the field, and we arrived first."
All was silent for a moment. "Well," he said in a jolly old tone, "Why not have a scrimmage?"
"But this is our try-outs!" I said, "We don't know who's good yet!"
"Ours, too!" James said.
"No better way to find out," said Dumbledore with a wink, "than to put them to the test."
Dumbledore decided to be our referee. I called down my team for a last-second talk.
"All right," I whispered to my huddled teammates. "Zenner, w-.."
"Zenner, you're sitting first. We're going to start Jones," McLaggen interupted, "As for Chasers, we-.."
"Excuse me!" I said, smacking the back of his head, "Who's captain?"
"....You..."
"All right," I said, "Then let me do my job! Zenner, you're starting. Abbot, you'll be our first Chaser we try. You others will be put in and out through-out the game. The rest of you lot, you'll be in your regular positions." I turned to Amiela. "I assume you told them our different plays?"
"Most of them, yeah," She replied.
I said which plan we'd use in a hushed tone, then added louder, "Go!"
As we walked to our brooms, I pulled Zenner aside.
"What is it, Captain?" he asked politely.
"Y'just looked nervous," I smiled caringly.
"A little," Zenner replied honestly.
"Don't be," I said, "You'll be fine. Better than fine, I expect."
"Thanks," he said.
"If you can," I added with a wink before taking off to get my broom, "Aim at my brother's big fat head!"
The game was close. Stupid James had nearly caught the Snitch five times already, and no Seeker I put in could get anywhere near! Getting desperate, and quite outright furious, I sent a Bludger at James' massive head. Unfortunately, it hit its target. Down, off of his broom, my brother fell. He was obviously unconsious, and I cringed at what I thought would be a messy ending. But right before he hit the ground, he floated in the air, then landed down safely.
The whole game ceased and everyone flew down. Dumbledore hadn't even touched his wand, so I questioned whether or not he did anything.
"Wasn't me," Dumbledore said with a laugh.
"Then.... who...?" I strained for words.
"Well, did you expect me to let him just fall?" said Lily Evans, walking out of the darkness of a trees shadow. "I'm honestly suprised you didn't react, yourself."
"I didn't think.." was all I could stutter.
"Yes, I think that was obvious!" Sirius snapped at me. He obviously saw that I had sent the Bludger.
"P-Padfoot..." I started, then just turned to Lily. "Wait, why didn't you let him die? You hate my brother."
She shrugged. "Just felt like it."
"Or you're in love with me, Evans," James said, sitting up weakly.
"You wish, Potter," Lily said, shoving him back down so he was laying across the grass.
"Heh," James laughed, patting the ground next to him, "Lie with me?"
"No!" she said, then walked away in a huff, muttering, "Why did I bother save him?"
"Because you're in love with me!" James called after her, waving his left arm and blowing kisses.
"Disgusting behavior, Prongs," said Sirius, but then winked at Faolan Lupin, Remus' sister, who was my year and a Gryffindor Seeker. She rolled her eyes, but still had trouble not blushing.
"Dirty Hypocrite," James muttered. Then he looked up at me. "We won, you know."
"No you didn't," I scoffed, "Nobody won."
He opened his right hand and revealed the Snitch. "We won," he said again.
I punched his arm lightly. "Git," I laughed.
Sirius was still looking at Faolan. "Hey, quit staring at my sister, Padfoot!" Remus commaded, snapping his book shut. He'd been watching in the stands.
"Well, it's not my fault you've got a gorgeous sister, mate!" Sirius laughed, and Remus glared at him.
"Stick in the mud.." Faolan muttered.
"Hey, all of this is beside the point!" James pouted, "I thought the point was me being hurt? I could've died, after all!"
"Hey, James," I said, poking his forehead, "Maybe if you deflated that big thing on your shoulders, Evans would go out with you."
James glared at me. "Well, perhaps, as the game has been won," Dumbledore suggested, "We should all be returning to our normal activities?" With that, he headed back to his corridors. My Hufflepuff housemates all disappeared, mostly going to sit around and do nothing. Most of the Gryffindors went to the same.
"...I'm going to bed," I said after a moment of silence was shared by me, James, Sirius, Remus, and Faolan.
"Oh, don't go, Brill," James whined.
"Yeah, we could use some help!" Sirius beamed. "We're going to prank Snivelly!"
"Again?" I asked stupidly. "Didn't you already dye his hair purple?"
Faolan laughed, then said, "Yes, they did."
"We could use some help," Sirius said again, "So far it's me, Prongs, and Faolan. Ole' Moony won't help us!"
"Because I disapprove of your immature behavior," Remus said, making it sound obvious, "As always. You three never behave. Honestly, Faolan, Mum thinks your such a nice girl!"
"Got her fooled, haven't I?" Faolan laughed her head off. Remus glared disapprovingly.
"I guess I'll come," I sighed, "But I'm not helping!"
Sirius was shocked. James went pale. "Why not?!" they demanded in unison.
I shrugged. "Don't want to."
"But you always loved helping us screw up Snivelly's disgusting features!" Sirius sputtered.
"What's wrong with you?!" James accused.
"What's wrong with me?!" I half-shrieked. "What's wrong with you?! Just because I'm not acting like a first year anymore, something's wrong with me?!" I stormed away angrily.
"...What's with Brill?" I heard James ask of no one particularly.
"She's got issues," Sirius whispered loudly.
Days of the year went by. Before I knew it, it was Halloween. James had, I think, unintentionally taken my advice. He still screwed with Snape, but he did act just a bit more mature, and Lily did talk to him just a bit more often. I'd fallen deeper into this odd crush I had on Snape. So much so that I could no longer look him in the eyes. When I was paired with him in Defense Against the Darks Arts class, (I'd been moved up a class as I was so much more advanced than the rest of the sixth years) I could hardly keep myself from running out of the room. The second class had ended, I had bolted straight out. So much that I'd given up fighting against it. So much, I thought I loved him.
Tonight, Halloween, and everyone had worn a costume. No one, as Dumbledore declared, was allowed to take their costume off until bedtime. And, as he decided, for this party, we were allowed up after hours.
I stood in front of my mirror, spinning around, examining myself from all angles, as I dried my hair. For this night, I'd chosen to do something crazy; dye my hair. True, this dye was supposed to wear off around one the next morning, but for now, being bottle-blonde and unrecognizable was just what I wanted. I wore a black mask that covered just my eyes and the area around, and black high-heels that were nearly four inches high. The short black dress I wore was much lower cut than James would be happy about, not that he would know I was wearing it; I had told him and his friends that I wasn't going. The black wings strapped onto my back completed my bat costume. I was planning on going full-blast party-mode. Tonight, I was no one. I had no identity. I was nameless.
I left my dorm and Hufflepuff common room, then walked to the Great Hall, in which the party was being held. I imediately spotted Xenophilius, who was wearing something unrecognizeable.
"Xenophilius," I asked, "What are you wearing?"
"I happen to be a nargle," said he with a wink, "And you are?"
I slapped him across the face. "It's me, you fool!"
He jumped in realization. "Oh! Sorry, Brilliance. You look nice."
"Yeah, I've noticed," I said. I bit my bottom lip, having something I wanted to ask, but didn't want to say. "...Hey, Phil?"
"Yes, Brill?" Xenophilius asked with another wink, but this one wasn't a flirt. This was his little way of recognizing our inside joke. Phil and Brill. We always found it funny.
"So there's this boy..." I started, chewing hard on my lip.
"Say no more, say no more," said he, "How can I help?"
"Tell me what to do," I suggested, "That'd be helpful. He hates me..."
"Well, you're so well dressed," Phil said, "I didn't even recognize you. Maybe he won't either. If he doesn't, you could get away with snogging him." He winked, this time suggestingly.
I hit him, then stared into space, lost in thought. "Thanks," I said.
"They don't call me Lovegood for nothing!" He grinned.
Rolling my eyes, I walked off, but I bumped into something hard.
"Ouch!" said the hard thing. It grinned. It was Sirius.
"Oh, hello Si-..." I started, then got distracted by his costume, "What are you wearing?!"
"Y'like?" he said, pushing up the breasts in his dress. He had a long, black dress that was cut even lower than mine. He curled his slightly long hair into a mess.
"What are you supposed to be, exactly?" I had to ask.
"My dearest cousin," Padfoot laughed, "I'm Bellatrix!"
I couldn't help but laugh, too.
"What a pretty dress you've got on, my dear," said Sirius, taking my hand and helping me up.
"...What the...?!" I began, but cut myself off by spitting out different words and ripping my hand out of his, "Don't touch me, Sirius!"
"But I like it!" he whined. "What's your name, anyway, doll?"
"....You're disgusting!" I spat, "And besides, you've got a girlfriend, haven't you? Not officially, of course, but I've seen you with Faolan!"
"She's not my girlfriend..." Sirius said, "She's just... a friend."
I smacked him, then walked away, angrily. It wasn't until after I'd crossed the room that I remembered I didn't look like me. And I thought he was just being a git!
My thoughts were instantly changed. My eyes had caught the gray eyes of Severus Snape, and he was walking towards me. I closed my eyes and held my breath.
"Excuse me?" he said, "Do I know you? I've never seen a girl with such.. vibrant hair, and I'd have assumed by my seventh year I knew everyone."
"My name..." I said thoughtlessly, "is Fiora Lexelle. I just transferred here from Beauxbaton's. If you're wondering, I don't have an accent because my mum's English."
"Ahh, I see," said Severus, turning to leave, "Well, Miss Lexelle, enjoy this Halloween here at Hogwa-.."
"I'd enjoy it more," I said breathlessly, "if you stayed with me."
He turned around. "What did you say?"
I wrapped my small hand in his bigger one. "Stay with me. Please."
"...All... right..." he said, not sure what to do. I smiled.
"Good," I said, then, having already thrown caution to the wind, kissed his cheek.
This is going to be a night to remember, I thought. *****
It was Midnight. I was strolling outside with Severus. He didn't know who I really was. He thought I was some French girl. Yes, we were walking hand-in-hand, and yes, everything we talked about had us laughing our lungs out, but it was only one night, this night. I couldn't pretend to be Fiora Lexelle forever. I'd have to go back to being Brilliance Potter eventually. I dreaded the sound of my own name.
Suddenly, we heard giggling. Severus' head snapped in its direction. I, too, knew that voice. Lily Evans was near.
How could I have been so stupid? I saw the way his head went up when he heard her voice! How could I have thought my brown (now blonde) curls could compete with those fiery waves? How could my plain, dead, brown eyes even compare to the wonderful green-eyed girl that was Lily Evans? I hated her at this moment. Most girls hated her because she got the affection of the "marvelous James Potter." I hated her because she had the love of the wonderful Severus Snape.
"Cut it out!" she giggled from behind a bush, "It tickles!"
Then the giggling stopped. I leaned over the bush to see what was going on. There sat Lily Evans, but she wasn't alone by any means; she was in the arms of James. And they were snogging!
"You honestly don't want to look..." I whispered cautiously, "It's just a girl and..."
"Lily!" he gasped in horror.
"You looked..." I muttered.
Lily and James ignored Severus completely. They were in their own little world.
"Come on," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him away. That was too sharp of a blow for him.
"Lily...!" he sputtered. "She was..! She just...! Potter..!"
"Calm down, Severus," I said, squeezing his hand lightly, "It's ok."
"No it's not!" Severus practically screamed as we stood under the tree next to the lake. "I-I thought she had better judgement than that! We used to be best friends!"
"I'm sorry," was all I could think to say, "I know you never meant to call her a Mudblood a couple years ago.. James provoked you..."
He stopped sulking a moment and looked at me in confusion. "How did you know that?" he asked, "You only just transferred here.."
I'd been caught. Time to give it up right?
Wrong.
"I just... y'know..." I tried to say, but nothing I could think of sounded right. Under my mask, tears that were black with make-up ran down my cheeks.
"Why are you crying?" He asked stupidly.
"Look, Severus!" I answered quickly, the words I said hardly possible to make out, "I know the only girl you'll ever have feelings for is Lily but I can't take this anymore! Severus Snape, I love you!"
I wasn't in control of myself anymore. Other wise, I wouldn't have done what I did next; I kissed him.
I had to stretch onto my toes to reach, as I was just under average height, and he was rather tall. In fact, I think I pulled him down to my level. It was very wet because I'd been, and possibly still was, crying. I tried so hard, this kiss meaning so many things. To me, at least. It probably meant nothing but a headache to him, I didn't know.
I'm assuming he was in shock, because he neither pulled away nor kissed me back. Frustrated, I kissed harder, and his eyes widened. Eventually, I ran out of air and had to pull away to breathe. When I did so, he stumbled backwards.
"..N-..no!" he stuttered, "Th-this can't be.. You're..!"
I glanced down at my reflection in the water. My hair was once again brown, and my mask was probably lost somewhere on the grounds.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered helplessly. I didn't know what else to say.
"Potter's sister..?!" he demanded of the wind.
"Yes," I replied quietly. "I can't help it."
Severus didn't speak. His face was very pale now, and I was completely terrified of what would happen.
"...Well?" I said stupidly, "What, er, happens now?"
"Now, Potter kills me," Severus said solonmly, "More so than usual."
"Oh, is he what this is about?" I asked. "Severus, don't worry about him! For all he knows, I'm in my dorm, asleep. I told him I wasn't coming tonight. He doesn't have to know anything. We don't have to tell him, Severus."
"Just not tell him that we-..." he started, but changed his sentence, "that you kissed me?!"
"Yep," I said plainly, "It's as simple as that. Honest, it is. I said it once and I guess I'll say it again: I love you." The next part I never realized until now: "I love you, I always loved you, and I always will love you. The end." I grabbed his hand and squeezed affectionately.
He pulled away. "I'm going to bed," Severus said quite coldly, "Goodnight, Brilliance." Without a furthur word, he walked away. True, he'd just walked away from me after I'd told him I loved him, but all I could think about was that he used my first name. It'd always been Potter this or Potter that. Brilliance never sounded so good.
I sat down on the ground, took off my heels, and draped my legs into the lake water. An irreversable smile played on my lips. Never had I felt so good. So alive. *****
