The city had always seemed refreshed after the rain fell; the sidewalks glimmered in the night with reflections of various points of light from the tall buildings, the clean smell of rain over powering the acrid scent of garbage and exhaust. The steam rose from the vents along the sidewalks, giving the city and almost morbid air. The two women exited the restaurant and proceeded down the sidewalk into the misty New York night.
"So why is it that you waited two years to tell me you were back in the city?" Olivia smirked, hiding her pain beneath a thin veneer of sarcasm.
" I was trying to rebuild my life, Liv. Start from scratch, you know?"
"So rebuilding your life includes returning to the city, working for the same man you worked for before you were shot, in the same sex crimes bureau as you had been in; all but picking up the phone to tell your friend that you were okay?" the sarcasm from Olivia's voice began to fade. Alex picked up on this, and quickly recanted,
"Liv, I never meant to hurt you. I just figured that after the way we left things, it was better to…"
Olivia halted in her tracks,
"After the way we left things? You mean during the Connor's trial?" Alex remained silent, staring at the sidewalk beneath her feet.
"…so, when I held you that night, and I told you how I felt, you figured it was better for you to stay away, not talk to me, and let me pretend that you were gone for good?"
"Olivia, we were both under a lot of duress, I was emotional, you w-"
"So when you said you wanted to be with me, you were emotional? So you didn't mean a word of what you said?" Olivia's voice was raised to a near-shouting level.
"Olivia, pl-"
"…I want to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer." Olivia asked, biting her lip. Alex stared at Olivia with an expression of confusion,
"What's wrong?" Alex asked her. Olivia gazed intently into Alex's eyes; the moonlight shining deeply within the auburn glow of her own,
"…What do you want?" she demanded. Alex became weakened by Olivia's weighted stare. Suddenly, Alex's very conscience was being swept up and tossed around. She knew what she wanted to answer, and she was well aware that Olivia knew as well. But for some reason, her heart said yes, but her mind said,
"I want us to remain as we have been…close friends." Stricken with a pang of guilt, Alex removed her gaze from Olivia's eyes to the rain-glistened sidewalk below. Olivia was taken aback by the answer she had just heard,
"Alex, that night. That night, you and I...I held you, and-" Olivia turned on her heels and hurriedly began walking away. Alex, cursing herself, quickly continued after her, shouting her name.
"Olivia, please!" Alex shouted. Finally, she caught up with the angered detective and grabbed her hand. Olivia halted and turned to face Alex. Then, in one sweeping motion, Olivia took Alex into her arms, kissing her deeply and passionately. Alex melted into Olivia's embrace.
After what felt like an eternity, Olivia released Alex, gazing intently into her eyes. Alex was stricken silent, trying to mentally figure out what had just happened. Olivia caught her breath and remained in Alex's gaze,
"…what do you want, Alex?"
Alex was stricken speechless,
"…Liv, I w-….." Alex hesitated,
"Just tell me, Alex. If you felt nothing, say so…" Olivia whispered, leaning her forehead to Alex's.
"…I want you, Olivia. I've wanted you for s-…" Alex shook her head and released herself from Olivia's grasp. Alex quickly began to walk the other direction, and Olivia began to follow her.
"Alex, we can make this work…" she said, breathlessly.
"Liv, you don't understand. I asked you to dinner to tell you something- I didn't expect this!" Alex said.
"What did you need to tell me? Alex, please. I need to know!" Olivia grabbed Alex's hand. Alex halted,
"Olivia, please, leave this alone. Leave US alone! For my sake, okay?"
Olivia could barely hide the pain in her voice,
"I don't get it. I don't understand why you w-"
"…I'm pregnant, Olivia!" Alex shouted. Suddenly, Olivia was stricken silent. Her gaze fell from Alex's face, to her slightly swollen abdomen, and down to the ground. Alex brought her two hands to Olivia's face, guiding their eyes to meet,
"I'm pregnant, Olivia." Olivia stared into Alex's eyes in disbelief.
"…pregnant?...." Olivia asked, tears shimmering in her eyes. Alex had just spoken the words she waited so long to hear, and now, all of it seemed to be futile. "…how long?" Olivia whispered.
Alex shook her head,
"About three months." she whispered breathlessly. Olivia was taken aback, her throat constricting with repressed sobs,
"…does Robert know?"
"Yes he does, Liv." Olivia blankly stared at the buildings behind Alex, shaking her head. Alex took Olivia's hands in her own.
"…I have to go…I'll call you."
With that, Alex turned on her heels and continued down the sidewalk, with Olivia's gaze following. Tears of disbelief fell from Olivia's eyes as she watched the blonde silhouette fade into the foggy New York night.
