One Month Later -
"Swan? Can I get your help out here, lass?" Killian's muffled accent called out to her, snapping her out of her funk almost instantly. There was just too much on her mind, she shouldn't be there. She should be home with Henry. Her hands were shaking against the marble sink, her eyes were a bloodshot red, and to make matters worse she had no time to grab her make-up bag before she had to get to work. Of course, if she had shown up late, he wouldn't have told her anything. He never did. The dark circles under her eyes were less than appealing, she could only imagine the tips she'd be making tonight. To say sleep was a rare luxury in her life would be an understatement. Without a second glance, she slowly made her way out of the room.
The bar wasn't too busy. More usual's scattered the place than new faces, but that was expected. This was the kind of surrounding people could feel at home in; she prided herself on being a part of that. She spotted Killian across the way, making his usual rounds. She couldn't remember a time he wasn't there, fraternizing with his customers, giving away free drinks here and there. It was admirable; who knew there was a decent man behind all of the innuendo and sass?
"Alright darling, take care of you out there." She heard him say to an already drunk customer - or so it seemed - as she approached. Emma caught his attention, and nodded before grabbing a towel from under the counter, ringing it out in the sink before wiping her area down.
"You alright, Swan?" He asked, she was apparently too focused on her task to notice he had made his way over to her. She nodded with a lazy smile, looking up. Her eyes found his instantly; the soft blue shade spoke wonders about his worry. And he gave her that look often; you think she'd be used to it by now.
"I'm fine, just- tired." She replied. She didn't want to talk; and especially not to him. No offense. Emma chose then to push past him, waving at a customer who raised his glass in her direction. There was no doubt in her mind he knew she was lying, but he didn't comment on it. Her eyes fell to the front door as more people walked in; clinging to each other like they were already half drunk. She turned around then, leaning an elbow against the bar.
"So," She drew out, "Is Jeff coming in, or will I be working this alone?" Again, she wanted to add but thought better of it. He'd already called in three times that week, and she wouldn't be surprised if tonight was any different.
"He hasn't called, no; but you and I both know it's possible."
She scoffed, shaking her head. It wasn't like she didn't understand. He too had a child to take care of, and without his wife, or anyone really around to help out, he was left to be a parent on his own. Maybe if she didn't have Mary Margaret, Ruby or even Regina around to help, she'd think of her life just the same - far too lonely.
Come closing time, the few lingering souls at the counter had gotten a little too comfortable with her behind. After a threat or two made towards their junk, Emma was left to clean up the mess. She had been left alone to work that night, minus the few times Killian came and made his rounds. He helped out when he noticed she was overwhelmed; he had an act for showing up at the right time. If it were up to her, she'd choose Killian over any other bartender there. He's the only one who had a true act for it. Sure, Victor was skilled and talented when it came to making up new mixes. And Jeff, well, he knew how to get woman to spend a lot more money than she would have originally intended on spending. But, Killian, he could do it all. Probably why he owns his own place, she mused.
Her eyes shifted to the front door as it opened, revealing a woman with long brown hair, curled endlessly all the way down. Her eyes were frantic and heavy, like she had a purpose she couldn't quite bring herself to reach. Emma shifted her weight against the counter top, clearing her throat.
"Sorry we're closed; I guess I forgot to lock up."
Emma apparently shocked the woman, because the brunette nearly jumped out of her own skin. Really? I'm standing right here. Emma caught the woman's gaze for only a moment before noticing her eyes focus on something else behind her, and before Emma could even turn around to see what that was, his voice broke the silence.
"What are you doing here?"
Killian's words were cold, dripping with disdain. Emma turned slowly then, watching as his eyes pierced through the other woman's. The room stayed quiet and still for a moment, you could practically feel the tension from a mile away. She didn't even want to process what it is she saw on his face, it only made her want to run.
"Right," Emma started, looking to the customer and back before continuing. "I'll leave you two alone."
The last part nearly came out in a whisper as she began to walk away. Killian's expression was dense and hard, nothing she'd ever seen from him before, and clearly for a reason.
"No, Swan," The Irish man let out in a deep exhale, so close, she thought to herself, halting only a step or two behind him. "You can stay. She'll be the one leaving."
"Killian please, just let me say what I've come to say."
The brunette finally voiced hoarse and yet soft at the same time, her footsteps echoed as she pulled herself to the counter. Emma chose then to turn around, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she did so. She found herself studying Killian's demeanor, taking notice of his fists clenching hard enough at his sides to turn his knuckles white. She may have known him for a month or so now, but nothing had ever had this effect on him. It's like the man before her was a complete stranger, completely lost and unreadable.
"No point, pet." He spat, almost too quickly. "I don't care enough to hear what it is you've come to say. Now,"
He finished, using a hand to gesture her to the door.
"I believe you can find your way out."
And with that he turned and walked back towards his office. Emma's eyes followed him almost involuntarily, raising an eyebrow. When she heard the door behind her close her focus came back to the front of the bar, but the woman was already gone, leaving Emma alone, once again.
Who the bloody hell does she think she is? Killian thought to himself once he managed to pull his ass away from her. Two years she's been gone, two bloody years, and now she wants to talk? No. He slammed his door shut, pacing from one end of the room to the other. The sudden urge to hit something, or someone came at him full force.
"Milah,"
He spat with a laugh, going over the past ten minutes repeatedly in his mind. How did she even find him? Why was she even looking? He reached his desk and took a seat, allowing himself the pleasure of relaxing if only for a moment. He didn't want to think anymore. It wasn't important. She left him. She moved on, or went back, rather. Why she was there, why she wanted to talk, what she wanted to talk about, it wouldn't matter… So why was his head spinning?
His train of thought was interrupted by a quiet knock, one he wasn't even sure he really heard until a second came soon after. Swan. She had been right there with them, picking up every hint of bitterness he threw at Milah. She was a perceptive lass after all. Killian pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger –
"Come in."
He said, a little more strained than he would have preferred. Maybe she wouldn't notice. The first thing he saw was her blonde curls as they slipped past the door. She didn't bring herself in fully, hiding half of her body behind the door.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright… I didn't even think to lock the door, I wasn't – "
"It's fine, lass. No harm done." He interrupted, waving her off with a shake of his hand.
"Right, well I - my roommate just called. She needs me to get some milk before I go home. Mind if I clock out?"
All he could do was shake his head, and luckily that was all she needed to bow out, closing the door behind her. He knew the minute she walked in that night that she didn't want to be there. He rubbed the stubble on his chin, taking in his bottom lip at the thought. He knew very well if she wasn't in desperate need for the money, she would call in as often as she'd like. Much like the rest of the crew, he chuckled to himself. But there was a mighty small part of him that wanted to believe she would come in regardless of her lack of fortune. That she enjoyed his company – as well as the others – just as they did hers. He hadn't met a person yet who didn't admire her wit and good charm. She wasn't sore on the eyes either. Not that he took time to admire her in that way – no, never.
He sat back, pulling his feet up and on to his desk. Maybe if he just rested his eyes for a minute, he'd be able to think clearly. Killian leaned back, lifting a hand to his face, running it along his chin. His life wasn't about Milah anymore. Who he was when he was with her, is not the man he is now. He's made something of himself. He has decent friends, a job – hell his own business. Nothing he would have had if she'd stayed with him, he knew that for sure. A big part of him wanted to believe he didn't love her anymore, that seeing her tonight, standing there with those curls – the same ones he used to run his hands through day in and day out, whether in bed or while at dinner – didn't affect him in the slightest. Yes, that would be the only thing he wanted.
He was brought out of his concentration by another knock at his door. He turned his head, studying it with intent eyes before pulling his feet back to the ground and standing. A smile was playing at his lips as he walked towards it, turning the knob and pulling it open.
"Bloody hell Swan, what did you forget – "
His words were cut off by a pair of lips attaching themselves to his own. His eyes fluttered shut at the feel, and he allowed his hand to move up and take a firm hold of the locks on the woman before him. The kiss felt so familiar, a song and dance he used to play once not so long ago. Milah. His eyes flew open, and with it he pulled away and pushed her back. She stumbled a bit, but not much. And before he could even say anything she pulled him back to her, with much more force than he knew she even had.
"This Swan girl" He could taste the bitterness, "Seems to think she owns the place, doesn't she?"
Killian grabbed a hold of her arms and pried them away from his person. Stepping away after pushing her back once more, this time, he held a hand out. No, she will not be doing this to me now.
"What the hell are you going on about? That 'Swan girl' has more right to 'own' this place than you do."
He spat, taking a few more steps back until his legs bumped against the desk. She didn't follow him, but her eyes were dark and laced with a hint of jealousy. Bloody brilliant.
"You don't really believe that, do you? I helped you get this place, if it weren't for me you wouldn't have an office to hide in."
"No," he shouted, his anger rising with every word she spoke. "No, you did not help me get this place. You didn't sacrifice your life and your hard money and effort. I did, because it was all that I had left when you bloody left me for that – that coward." He countered, clenching his fists, no doubt leaving marks from his own nails.
"Please, Killian." She bit back, taking a few steps towards him. "This was my dream, owning a tavern, it was my dream. You thought it was tacky and obscene. You wanted no part in it."
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?"
"No." He squeezed harder, not caring if blood was drawn. She scoffed, and that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"Right, I never needed to convince you; I didn't have to beg you to listen to my ideas about owning my own bar, I didn't spend restless nights going over every inch of décor for a place I hadn't even bought yet. No, that was all you." The sarcasm was not lost on him, "You bought this place, made it your own. Gave it a name you knew I would recognize because it's the name that I had chosen for it. And do you remember why, Killian?"
He grits his teeth, every word causing him to stir. Of course he knew why, she was playing coy and for what reason? Just to rub it in his face? He wouldn't allow her the satisfaction.
"Enlighten me."
He answered, sitting down on top of the desk he'd been leaning against. She moved much too quickly for his liking, and before he knew it she was standing only a breath away. If he moved an inch his lips would be against hers. No doubt that was her plan.
"Because you always said I was your hidden treasure. I was yours, Killian. Tell me again I had no part in this. Tell me this wasn't all for me and I'll go."
He turned his head, shutting his eyes forcefully. God she was getting in his head, twisting everything back to her, weaseling her way into his very core. She ruined him, scarred him, left him wanting more, wanting her. His eyes flew open then and he turned back to face her, glaring with no remorse. And as he lifted his hands up to cup either side of her face, his demeanor never changed. It didn't falter. She smiled, she thought she won. But Killian Jones was nobody's toy, nobody's second choice. A few more moments of unspoken silence filled the air before he finally gave her an answer.
"Get out." He said through clenched teeth. Studying her face as the smile she wore moments ago faded in to a frown, and the eyes that were just filled with hope and redemption glazed over in confusion and pain.
"Killian, I came back for you, I want you back. I want us. This." She was gesturing between them. Her voice cracked on the last word, and he grimaced.
"You will never have me, never again."
He pulled both of his hands down to her shoulders and moved her back, brushing past her as he walked towards the door. He turned his body in her direction; she still had her back to him. Apparently I didn't make myself clear.
"Get out."
He growled, looking at the door. The air was still tense and it would most likely remain that way. She always had a way of tainting the air he breathed. Killian rubbed his eyes, losing patience with her with every passing second, but luckily he didn't have to say anything more or give it anymore thought, because almost as easily as she came, she left. Not before she was completely out of his sight, however. Milah glanced back, and out of his utter lack of self-control he met her gaze.
"This isn't over, Killian. You're clearly upset, too much for your own good. But I will be back, maybe next time you'll be a little more willing to open your eyes."
She didn't have to say anything else, and he didn't have to think of anything to say in return. She had already continued walking until she was out of his bar, and with much reluctance he followed and locked the door behind her. He definitely needed a drink, good thing he didn't have to go very far.
