Knock on Wood

Starring

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers

Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris

Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg

Emma Caulfield as Anya Jenkins

James Martsers as Spike

And

Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles

Guest Stars

Robin Sachs as Ethan Rayne

Amber Benson as Tara MaClay

And

Eliza Dushku as Faith Lehane

Co Stars

Tom Wyner as Sid the Dummy

BS: Faith?

FL: Nice to see you too, B.

BS: How did you expect me to react? After your little body-swapping attempt and what happened in L.A. with Angel?

FL: As much as you'd like to think so, I'm not done with prison. I mean, I hate it there, but I am going to return when this is over.

RG: How did you know what was happening?

FL: I had a big hint.

Faith gestured behind her, revealing Xander, Spike, Anya, and Ethan, who is still restrained by Willow and Tara.

ER: (sheepishly) Hey, Ripper.

BS: What the-?

ACT 1:

BS: What are you doing here?

WR: We ran into him at the factory.

RG: Did you perform the spell?

TM: Y-yes. It said that the real Kakistos is dead.

RG: Ethan, what is going on? How did you escape from the Initiative?

TM: S-shouldn't we g-get you to a hospital first, Mr. Giles?

BS: Yes. Yes we should.

Later, in Giles' hospital room, Buffy began to question Ethan. Faith looked over at Spike and a hint of recognition crossed her face.

S: What're you looking at?

FL: (Turning away and grinning) Nothing.

BS: Alright, Ethan. First of all, who put you up to this? Was it Glory?

ER: Glory? No, of course not! Even if she was alive, I would never have worked for that skank of a god.

WR: Glory's dead?

ER: Yes.

BS: How? We've been trying to figure out how to kill her all year!

ER: What do you know about her?

BS: She was a hell god, who was looking for something called the Key.

ER: Yes. She was also kicked out of her home dimension by two other gods who noticed she was trying to control the dimension for her own. She was sent to Earth in the body of a new-born human male. She had enough power to emerge briefly before being forced back into the form of the human. The only way to kill her was to kill the human she unwillingly inhabited.

XH: Who was the guy?

ER: Some bloke called Ben.

BS: Ben?

XH: Wait!? Ben is Glory?

TM: W-what about those Knights of Byzantium who were after Glory?

ER: Dead as well. Those Bringers are very thorough about tying up loose ends.

RG: Bringers? That sounds familiar . . .

BS: (remembering) God.

AJ: Yes, Glory is a god. We know that already.

WR: What is it Buffy?

BS: The First.

FL: The First?

ER: Precisely: The literal incarnation of evil in the universe.

WR: (Seeing Faith still looked confused) The thing that gave evil its capital 'E'.

FL: Oh. Right.

BS: (To Ethan) So what do you and The First have to do with Glory?

ER: Nothing. Well, I mean, The First's priority was to benefit from Glory using the Key to open the gateways to other dimensions, therefore destroying ours and causing The First's own dimension to overcome ours.

WR: That's what Dawn's power is?

ER: Yes. The original plan was for Glory to use the Key to return to her home dimension to reconquer it, ripping ours apart in the process. Since The Key is in human form, her blood would've had to be shed in a particular spot at a particular time in order to activate the portal.

XH: Why her blood?

S: Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead.

BS: But since Glory is gone, the Key doesn't work anymore?

ER: Essentially. It still exists in the form of your sister, it just can't be used for anything anymore.

BS: So what about The First and you?

ER: Since Glory seemed to be mentally unable to perform the task necessary, The First had her, and for good measure, the Byzantium Knights killed to keep their little battle out of the way of its new plan, to overcome the world by having its dimension enter ours, giving it total control.

S: What does this have to do with you, though?

ER: Well, during my incarceration, I often prayed to the Lords of Chaos to release me. But The First came to me and offered to release me instead.

RG: Just like that?

ER: No, of course not. It made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

WR: (cheerfully) Sanity?

ER: Ultimate power. The First and I set up a contest. We both selected five champion fighters from our respective dimensions to set against each other's champions. If mine won, I would receive ultimate power from The First. If I lost, I would be returned to my containment cell forever.

BS: Who are your champions, then?

ER: Why, they're all right here: two Slayers (pointing to Buffy and Faith), a vampire with marvelous credentials (pointing at Spike), a witch (pointing at Willow), and a werewolf. (Pause) Um, where is that short boy with the hair who hangs around with you?

WR: Oz? He left town last year.

ER: Oh. Well . . . (He looked around the room, then pointed at Xander) How about this chap? He seems fit enough.

XH: Hey, thanks.

BS: (looking angry) No! Forget it! We're not competing in your stupid contest!

ER: I'm afraid you have no choice.

S: 'Course we do! If I don't feel like doing something, you can't just make-

Spike vanished, closely followed by Xander and Faith.

RG: (As Willow vanished) Buffy, remember only Hope's Dagger can harm The First!

ER: (As Buffy grabs him) Hey!

They both vanished as well. Giles, Anya, and Tara stared at where they had all vanished.

TM: W-what just happened to them? Where did they go?

RG: I'm not sure. But knowing Ethan, it can't be anything good.

ACT 2: Buffy and Ethan reappear at The Magic Box. But it is gloomy and wrecked.

BS: What's going on? What happened?

ER: (Wrenching himself out of Buffy's grip) We're in The First's dimension. It controls everything here.

BS: Where is everyone else?

ER: They are scattered all over town. You'll have to find them. Here (He gives Buffy a small metal device): This will transport them back here once you find them.

BS: I swear I'll kill you when we get out of here.

ER: If I were you, I'd go find your friends before they end up dead.

Buffy hurried out of the shop. Sunnydale looked like the demonic population had taken over. Vampires were running around freely and there were bodies lying around, as though they had been fed on, then left behind. Forcing herself not to look at the bodies, Buffy ran into the movie theater and searched the rooms.

WR: (muffled) Buffy!

Seeing her, Buffy ran to the door Willow was trapped in and broke it open.

WR: Thanks! What's going on?

BS: I'll explain later. Here. (Willow touched the device in Buffy's hand, then vanished) One down, three to go.

Buffy ran out of the theater and checked the hardware store. Nobody was in there. She checked inside the bank. She broke open a bank vault and found Faith lounging inside it.

FL: Come on, bored now!

BS: You're welcome. (Faith vanished) Two down. Fifty-fifty, that's not bad; except in those pesky life and death scenarios.

Buffy rushed out of the bank and checked inside Willy's bar.

S: Hey, luv. What took you?

BS: You've just been sitting in here?

S: (gesturing around) Well, yeah. Can't pass up a chance at a drink, can I?

Buffy rolled her eyes and gave Spike the device. He vanished.

BS: Just Xander left now, if I can find him.

She ran down the street, looking for anyplace that looked interesting. She decided to look in a warehouse. Entering it, she saw Xander stuck on a balcony. She ran up a stairway and rode a conveyer belt across the room to where he stood.

XH: Hey. So, what happened?

BS: Let's go back and I'll explain.

She activated the device once more, and she and Xander reappeared in the Magic Box with the others.

ER: Well done, Slayer.

BS: Shut up. Now, explain what is happening here.

ER: I don't know everything.

BS: Well then, find us someone who can.

Sid: (Appearing in the doorway) Allow me.

ACT 3: Everyone stared at Sid. Then Spike burst out laughing.

S: It's a wee little puppet man! (Sid ran up and kicked Spike in the groin) OW! Bloody hell!

Sid: Still think I'm funny?

WR: Sid?

XH: The dummy from the talent show?

FL: (Looking at Buffy) You know a puppet?

Sid: (indignant) I'm not a puppet!

ER: This is getting quite ridiculous now.

BS: It got ridiculous as soon as you showed up.

ER: I'm more ridiculous than a talking block of wood?

Sid: Okay, everyone back to reality here!

S: You mean the one with tiny, cheaply dressed puppets? (Sid lifts his leg again) Sorry.

BS: Sid, what is going on?

Sid: Well, as I told you already, I'm from an alternate universe in which I didn't die after meeting you. Then (pointing at Ethan) this moron and that Glory chick started to mess around with dimensions and caused them to bleed into each other. When I found out The First was involved, I snuck through the bleed to assist you.

BS: Huh. Well, have you ever heard of something called Hope's Dagger by any chance?

Sid: Yeah, of course. It only exists in this dimension and was forged from the first ray of light to shine upon the Earth by Cassandra Rayne.

ER: Rayne? Are you saying . . . ?

Sid: Yeah, she's your ancestor and that time's warrior for The Powers that Be.

ER: What? No, that can't be right-

Sid: Anyway, Cassandra battled The First with the Dagger and lost. Then, because the Dagger rendered her immortal, she was dismembered by The First and her parts along with the Dagger were hidden all over this dimension.

FL: So how do we find the Dagger?

Sid: (eying Faith) Hel-lo. Who's this now?

FL: Don't even think about it, dude. I'm five by five working with wood, but dating it . . . not.

Sid: It's never too late to start.

BS: Sid! Dagger!

Sid: Oh, 'ahem', sorry. Cassandra is mystically linked to it. If we can revive Cassandra, she can help us find the Dagger and defeat The First.

BS: Do you know where any of the parts are hidden?

Sid: Just one. I know where her eyes are. In the hospital, but I don't know where.

BS: Well then, come with us and help us find them.

AS they turned to go, Willow looked at Faith.

WR: That was disgusting, by the way.

FL: What? Oh, no I was talking about . . . stakes. Working with stakes.

WR: Yeah. Right.

Faith smirked to herself as she followed the others out into the street.

ACT 4: Everyone stood in one of the hospital's empty rooms.

BS: Okay Sid, you help me look for the eyes.

FL: What do you want us to do, B?

BS: Keep an eye on Chaos worshipper over there.

ER: I'm not going to do anything. I was just supposed to spectate and benefit.

BS&FL: Shut up.

Sid: Come on, Slayer. Those eyes ain't gonna find themselves, let's go!

Buffy and Sid walked into the hallway and worked past several zombies and vampires until they got to the records room. Buffy fends off zombies while Sid searched the records.

Sid: Got it! They're in that cabinet.

Buffy goes over to the said cabinet and took out two eyeballs from one of the shelves. Sid eyed her with interest.

Sid: You're not grossed out?

BS: Please, I'm the Slayer. I decapitate vampires for a living. Let's get back to the others.

Buffy wrinkled her nose at the eyeballs as she followed Sid back the way they came. Once back in the room, Buffy held out the eyes for the others to see.

BS: Have a look at these.

WR: Eww. How can you touch those?

BS: I don't intend to much longer.

She holds them out to Ethan.

ER: Oh, no. Please.

BS: She's your ancestor.

ER: Ugh. Fine.

Just as Ethan takes the eyes from Buffy, a portal opened next to them.

S: What's this now?

ER: That is the portals to your challenges.

BS: I told you, we are not fighting for you!

ER: You have no choice. The other pieces are with The First's champions. You have to fight them to get them.

BS: (glaring at Ethan) This isn't over.

Buffy, Xander, Willow, Faith, and Spike jumped through the portal and disappeared.