Shrek The Fourth
By AllzStar
Chapter Two
"Do not underestimate the power of a woman." --AllzStar
Artie led his companions out of the city and into the woods, following the signs that pointed towards Very Very Near. Despite the name, Very Very Near was not close by, probably because Far Far Away was so far far away from everything else. The travelers realized they would have to stop and make camp as the sun slid behind the hills.
As the young King gathered kindling for the fire Shrek had volunteered to make, he thought about what he was going to say to the Princess when he got to her castle. "Hi. I'm your future husband" "Nice to meet you; bye" "I'm gonna marry you and we'll live happily ever after!" It all seemed so horribly corny and stupid. Maybe this Quest wasn't worth the trouble. When Artie voiced this Shrek meekly said, "I don't care if we get to the gates and then come back. I just want to get away from that castle."
"But think about it," said Artie desperately, "What am I gonna saw to her anyway?"
"Why don't you pretend your some schoolboy who just moved here or something and make nice with her?" Donkey suggested loudly, "I mean, it's not like you're ugly or anything. A rich spoiled Princess is bound to fall for a clumsy, attractive King!"
"Gee, thanks, Donkey." As much as he hated to admit it, Artie knew Donkey was right. He was clumsy. In fact, he was the clumsiest fool in all of Far Far Away. Some King he would turn out to be. "But some schoolboy who just moved there isn't even going to be allowed in the same room with the Princess, let alone talk to her."
"Let's just get there and then decide what to do, alright?" said Shrek with finality. "For now let's just all get some sleep."
That was the end of it. Shrek had the last word and that word was law. It had always been like that. Artie lay down against a fallen log and used his hands as a pillow. The light of the fire danced in his blue-green eyes and cast a warm glow around the clearing in which he and his friends were sprawled. He tried to close his eyes and go to sleep, but he had to snap them back open because every sound seemed amplified. He had never liked the woods, and the scene overhead was quite spooky. He lay on his back and looked up at the sky despite its spookiness. The sky was dark, dark blue except for the moon. Branches from the trees surrounding them were silhouetted against the big, bright white sphere. Despite what some people said, the moon did not hold the answers to the world. Artie tried to think of what could possibly hold such a huge responsibility. He finally fell asleep thinking about it.
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Artie awoke to a bright sunny day and a bandit's knife pressed against his throat. The cool metal made him gasp and he rude awakening was only just dawning on him. Half asleep, he thrashed out at the ambushers. Someone cursed and told him firmly to shut up and stay still, and the voice brought foul breath in the boy's face. He coughed and screwed up his nose against the stench.
There were four of them—bandits—and they were scrounging around the campsite, looking for goods. Artie was the only one awake. One bandit held Artie, Donkey and Puss down (though there was only a knife at Artie's throat) and two others held Shrek. The fourth one picked his way around the place. None of the thieves were looking at him, so Artie jerked his head away from the blade and rolled out from underneath his captor. The bandit fell to the ground with a squeal as Artie stood up. He woke the animals before heading for the still sleeping ogre, but the three bandits were surrounding him now. Each had their own weapon: a knife, a chain and a mace. Artie backed away from them, reaching for his sword. Stifling a gasp of frustration, Artie realized he'd left Excalibur at home and only had the sheath.
The bandits snickered wickedly and advanced towards the helpless boy. "Shrek!" Artie cried, hoping it would wake his big friend up, "Shrek! Wake up, buddy!"
But Shrek was dead to the world. His big mouth hung open and a string of drool was dripping from it.
The sound of metal on metal averted Artie's senses and before he knew it there was a flash of orange and black and one of the bandits, the one with the chain, was on the ground, groaning. Puss in Boots straightened up and winked at Artie before leaping at the next one, the one with the mace. But the guy was too quick for the cat. With a blow of him arm he sent Puss flying through the air. Hissing, the cat hit a tree and slumped to the ground.
Donkey took his moment to fight back. With a loud, squeaky bray he kicked the bandit with the mace where it counts, causing him to gasp and double over, holding himself and moaning. Donkey, seemingly proud of his accomplishment, shook himself slightly and grinned cheekily at the gaping young King.
The thief with the knife kicked Donkey aside with ease, silencing the previously smug animal. He advanced towards Artie with a menacing smile on his face, holding the knife above his head, cocksure that he could easily smite the young boy easily. But Artie remembered that he was prepared just in time and pulled out his dagger from its sheath attached to his boot. He held it out and away from him in a loose but firm hold. The bandit, intimidated, lowered his knife and took the same posture as Arthur. They circled each-other, each daring not to remove his gaze from the other.
Suddenly the bandit lunged at Artie with such speed that Artie realized he had no time to react or block. Just as the blade was about to pierce through the skin of Artie's chest, someone dropped down from the overhead trees and blocked the knife with a sword. Then they kicked the thief and sent him flying back into a nearby tree. By that time the other three bandits were on their feet and were heading for Arthur's savior. The newcomer scrambled back up the tree and disappeared. Great, thought Artie, Thanks for leaving me with the rest of them.
But the newcomer was not finished; metal boomerangs began flying from the tree. They hit each bandit twice before returning to their owner, concealed within the branches. This also sent them toppling over backwards. Scared, all four of them got up, limping and screaming, and ran off into the woods taking nothing with them.
Artie stood where he was, dumfounded and gaping. There was a grunt, and Shrek woke up, rubbing his eyes. He looked at Artie. "What are you staring at?"
Puss, Donkey and Shrek were now at Artie's side, but the boy was still staring at the tree. "Hello?" he called softly, "Are you still there?"
The leaves rustled, and then the branches parted. Someone fell from the tree with a high-pitched squeal. They landed with a thud on the ground and lay still for a second, before quickly scrambling to their feet. She swayed for a bit, balancing from foot to foot, then saluted the confused travelers, holding her hand up to her forehead. Her round, freckled face was streaked with dirt in a cute way, and her long dirty blonde hair was pleated in two braids that fell to her freckly elbows. She wore a simple olive green tunic tied at the waist with a belt and dark grey leggings that ended with matching boots. Her arms matched her face—covered in freckles and dirt, and her bangs were messy and in a disarray of curls that stuck out in all directions. She smiled sheepishly from ear to ear, revealing imperfect but white teeth.
"Sorry to…drop in so unannounced," she said with humor. Her voice was light and joyful and sort of…bouncy…like Donkey's; only less loud. "But seeing as you were about to be smitten by a dagger I thought I might as well help you. After all, why should anyone die when there is someone nearby perfectly armed and completely capable of saving them? It makes no sense, does it? So, young lad, I do believe you owe me a favor. You have a life dept to me, of course, but a simple favor will do. Leading me out of these blasted woods would do, for instance—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Shrek, holding up a hand to silence the perky young girl, "Slow down a bit. Who are you exactly?"
"Oh!" Her smile suddenly faded and her celery-colored eyes widened. "A thousand apologies, good sir. How silly of me, forgettin' my manners around complete strangers." She made an awkward curtsy and said, "Princess Elizabeth of Very Very Near at your service."
A/N: Sorry that it's so short, but I figured that was a good place to stop. I also apologize for the long description of Elizabeth—I know some of you hate that—but I always like to describe my characters as best as I can so people can get a good image of the scene in their mind. We already know what Shrek, Artie, Puss and Donkey look like, so why should I bother describing them, really? Anyway, hey ho, gotta go (wow, I'm lame). Next chapter'll be up soon!
