Ok, so here's Chapter 2 of my "LSoH" fic "All in the Family". It is not so much about Seymour, Audrey, and Ike. Instead, the focus of this storyline is on Arthur Denton, as well as an OC. Now, for those of you who don't know, Arthur was the crazy patient in the 1986 film who went to Orin for a "long, slow root canal." The whole idea of this chapter is that even on very special occasions, such as your wedding day, disaster can strike when you least expect it. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy Chapter 2! :)

Chapter 2: The Marriage of Arthur Denton

Arthur Denton had never been as terrified in his life as he was today. He stood outside in front of the church, pacing back and forth. Today was, actually, intended to be the best day of his life. For this would be the day that he would wed his girlfriend of two years. Now, Arthur had been married once before to a woman named Rosemary in 1960, but the marriage only lasted for a year, since Rosemary would constantly bully him for his masochism and his quirks that went along with it. Shortly after the divorce, Arthur had met a girl named Marianne.

Marianne Emery was of average height, about 5'4. She had wavy, shoulder length strawberry-blonde colored hair and sky blue eyes. Marianne and Orin had dated for six months before he met Audrey. During the course of their relationship, Marianne had noticed that there was something fishy about Orin because he enjoyed hurting people, but since he never did anything to harm her, she still stayed in the relationship with him. Both Marianne and Arthur were really good friends who had met through some mutual friends, and Marianne was actually the one who had recommended Arthur to Orin because she knew about his masochism. Finally, Marianne broke up with Orin after having had discovered that Orin had killed her pet Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by slitting its throat. A couple of days after Orin's death, she and her cousin, Audrey went to a bar. The girls striked up a conversation with each other and when Marianne told Audrey about her breakup with Orin, Audrey shared her experiences and her love for a much sweeter boy named Seymour. Marianne never knew Seymour well, but she had met him through Audrey and their mutual friends, Ronette, Crystal, and Chiffon. Now, about Marianne and Audrey being cousins, Audrey's mother and Marianne's father were brother and sister, both who had grown up during the Roaring 20s.

After about a month of trying to cope with the loss of her dog, Marianne began dating Arthur. About a year after they had started dating, the two became engaged. Now, they were about to be wed to one another. Unlike Arthur, Marianne was not too nervous about her big day at all. In fact, she was rather giddy. She had expressed her giddiness to her parents, both of whom were visiting from Princeton, NJ, and usually only came to Skid Row once a year to stay during the Christmas and New Year's holidays.

"Oh, Ma! Daddy, isn't this exciting?! I'm gettin' married!" squealed Marianne with delight.

"So hard to believe that our baby girl is becoming a bride! I never thought I'd live to see the day!" said Marianne's mother, Judy.

"Least she's not gettin' married to Orin! I sure am glad that son of a bitch is dead." This quote came from Marianne's father, Carl.

"Daddy! We're in a church ya know! You shouldn't say such words in such setting!"

"I'm sorry."


Meanwhile, the Krelborns were in Seymour's car, the song "A Hard Day's Night" playing in the background. Audrey was talking to Ike, who was in his car seat, sucking his thumb. He was wearing a suit and bow-tie with black booties.

"Hey, Ikey. Don't you look cute in your little suit that mama made for you?" cooed Audrey as she reached for Ike's nose and started to pinch it. Ike took his thumb out of his mouth, looked up at his mother, and smiled.

"Ike, you ready for Auntie Mari's wedding?" asked Seymour. Despite them technically being second cousins, Seymour and Audrey would refer to Marianne as Ike's auntie, because Marianne and Audrey were like sisters when they were younger. Ike just cooed, to which Seymour replied "Yeah. So am I. I just hope that you don't cry during the ceremony."

"Don't worry about it, Seymour. He'll be fine." said Audrey.

When the Krelborns got to the church, they were greeted by Arthur.

"Seymour! Audrey! Little Ikester! You're quite early. Mari and I were under the impression you'd never make it!"

"Well," began Seymour. "You know what they say. The early bird always catches the worm!"

"You got that right!" Arthur told his friend.

"So are you excited for your big day?" Audrey asked Arthur, while rocking the now sleeping Ike.

"Well, I'm actually kinda nervous, but nonetheless excited." said Arthur, who then added "Of course, I have been married once before, so I know what that's like."

"Yes," replied Audrey. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find Mari!"


"Mari! So happy for ya!" squealed Audrey as she gave Marianne a hug.

"Aww. Thank you so much, Audrey! I'm so glad you could make it!" said Marianne as she embraced her cousin. She then asked Audrey "So, is Seymour here, too?"

"Why of course! He's just outside talkin' to Arthur."

That's when Ike woke up, and Audrey said "Hey, Ikey. Say hello to your Auntie Mari."

"Hey, Ikey! How's it goin?" said Mari as she frizzed Ike's hair up. That's when an older, tall and blonde bob-haired woman, and a boy of about 15 who looked a little like a young Johnny Cash entered. It was Audrey's mother, Maude, along with her son and Audrey's little half-brother, Harry. Both Maude and Harry lived in Brooklyn, and, despite living almost close enough that they could come to Skid Row whenever they pleased, they only saw the Krelborns during the Easter and Winter holidays. While Maude was very poor during her and Carl's childhood and while she was married to Audrey's father, she eventually remarried after Audrey's father left them, only for her second husband to be killed in a car crash shortly Harry was born. That's when Maude inherited her husband's money and decided to become a successful school teacher after having had coped with the loss of Harry's father. Harry was a teenager, who was currently in his freshman year of high school. He had something special about him: Harry was seemingly stuck in the 50s, as well as the Kennedy Era, so he liked artists such as the Beatles and Elvis. Despite all of this, he still was familiar with more modern pop culture as well as current events.

"There's my beautiful niece! So glowing, so beautiful, and so grown up! Ready to marry!" squealed Maude as she embraced Marianne.

"And there's my grandbaby!" said Maude as she pinched Ike's cheeks. "He has your eyes, and he's got Seymour's brown hair!"

"Yes, ma." said Audrey, who then added. "Speaking of Seymour, I want to go talk to him real quickly."


"What is it, Audrey?" Seymour asked, noticing his wife's worried face.

"It's just, uh, well...I hope Ike doesn't cry at all during the ceremony."

"Don't worry! He'll be fine. He's usually a pretty good baby, so the chances of him crying and disrupting the ceremony are probably pretty slim. And if he does start crying, you can take him outside."

Audrey then looked up at her husband with wide eyes and said, "But what if I want to see the whole ceremony? If I were to take Ike outside, then I might miss some of it."

"Then I'll take him outside."

"I don't want you to miss the ceremony, too!"

Seymour let out a big sigh and told Audrey, "Look, can we please not argue? We are here, about to celebrate the marriage of your cousin. Now, it's not very often we get to go to a wedding, right?"

"No. The last one we went to was Ronette, Crystal, and Chiffon's triple wedding." said Audrey, referring to the girls' triple wedding with three African-American men named Ron, Christopher, and Clifford.

"Which was in January," said Seymour. "So almost nine months ago."


Shortly before the ceremony began, everyone talked for a little bit. Maude and Harry stuck together, and Seymour talked to Arthur and Marianne and her parents, while Audrey talked with Ronette, who had a 10-month-old son of her own, named Ronnie, after his father.

"Ronnie's a great baby, except for when Ron wants to hold him, that is. Then he'll start screamin'!"

"Hey!" said a tall, black man who looked to be in his early 20s. "I heard that!"

"Shut yo mouth, won't cha, Ronnie Sr!" shouted Ronette to her husband playfully. She then turned her attention back to Audrey and told her "So anyway, there is no denyin' that Ronald Ray Williams Jr. is a momma's boy!"

Audrey just chuckled lightly. That's when Ronette changed the subject by saying "I hope this wedding's as good as the triple one I had with my sisters. Isn't it funny, that on the same exact date, three brothers and three sisters got married? And it was also right as this very church! You know what else is funny? That we all had cousins attending the University of Alabama, and they were all there during the desegregation!"

"All right, everybody! Wedding's about to start! Let's get seated!" said the pastor as he began to get ready. Audrey went over to sit next to Seymour, who was seated near Maude and Harry.

"You ready for this?" Audrey asked her husband, whilst sticking a pacifier in Ike's mouth, in case he started to whine.

"As ready as I'll ever be." replied Seymour.


So the wedding ceremony started, and it went fairly well, up until after the pastor pronounced both Arthur and Marianne husband and wife. Ike had started to cry and he was also disrupting the ceremony, despite having a pacifier in his mouth. Seymour and Audrey didn't know why though. The pastor went up to the couple and started yelling at them.

"Why even bother to bring a baby to a wedding?! Can't cha see you're disrupting a very special day for the happy couple."

"Oh, uh. I didn't think he was going to cry!" replied Audrey meekly. "He was being such a good baby this morning and..."

"And WHAT?!" snapped the pastor.

"Um, mister!" Ronette spoke up. "My hubby and I have a ten-month-old baby. He's just fine."

"Well, why don't you take him outside or something, in case he starts cryin?!"

Arthur and Marianne were both watched the grouchy pastor yell at Seymour and Audrey. Expressions of bewilderment suppressed their faces, and they exchanged looks at each other.

"Geez. I hope this doesn't get any worse than it is now." Arthur told Marianne.

"Arthur, I'm afraid it already has." replied Marianne, her tone of voice sounding as though she was very uncomfortable.

Ike was starting to cry louder and Audrey was trying to hush him. Seymour was having a big argument with the pastor. Maude and Harry had both exchanged looks at each other. That's when Ronette, Crystal, and Chiffon all ran up to where Arthur and Marianne were standing. The girls then burst into song

"Oh pretty woman

Walkin' down the street

Pretty woman

The kind I'd like to meet

Pretty woman"

That's when everyone, except for Arthur and Marianne, joined in.

"I don't believe you, you're not the truth!

No one could look as good as you..."

"NO SINGING ALLOWED! ALL RIGHT?!" interrupted the grumpy old pastor, causing Marianne to put her hands over her eyes in frustration.

"Oh please, God. Help me outta here!" she silently exclaimed to herself. Arthur put an arm around her shoulder and hugged her. The ruckus went on for over an hour until Carl spoke up.

"HEY! EVERYONE QUIET!"

To this, the pastor stomped his foot. Ike had finally stopped crying. "Can't we just quit this ruckus?!" exclaimed Carl. "I would like my daughter to be happy on her wedding day, and right now, she is very upset and disappointed, as is her new husband. So can we just go on with the wedding?!"

Everyone then began chattering. Marianne told Arthur "That went better than expected!" "I'll say." Arthur replied smugly. That's when the pastor resumed the wedding and pronounced the Marianne and Arthur husband and wife, to which everyone cheered. The wedding continued and everyone had a good time, until it was time for Arthur and Marianne to depart on their honeymoon. Everyone waved goodbye to the newlyweds, and Seymour and Audrey exchanged looks at each other, and then they both looked down at Ike, who was now wiped out, probably from all the crying he did.

"That turned out unexpected," said Seymour. "When Carl spoke, it reminded me of the atomic bomb for some reason."

"Okay, Dr. Strangelove," teased Audrey. "You can tell him that."

YAY! ALL DONE WITH CHAPTER 2! For those of you that don't know, the song everyone was singing was "Oh, Pretty Woman" by Roy Orbinson, and the movie that Seymour and Audrey were referencing at the end there was Dr. Strangelove, which was a movie about the atomic bomb. I'm actually rather proud of how my new ending for this chapter turned out, because it shows that even though the wedding was bad, somebody managed to turn it around, thus it continued and everyone still had fun. And sorry if Maude and Harry weren't as developed. Next chapter they star in, they should both have bigger roles.

And speaking of the next chapter, Ike is already a year old! Can you believe it?! Yeah, I can't wait to write about this kid when he is older. Should be more exciting than his baby/toddler/kid years. I'm actually planning on making this story stretch as far as 1986 (which is when the LSoH movie came out, lol). Anyway, lemme know what you thought about the chapter, and be sure to lmk if u notice any grammatical errors or anything! Thanks! :)

-Emra