It Can't Be Helped


Author: Mask of Mirage

Rating: M

Comments: I failed to mention that the timeline is after Sasuke has come back from defecting from the village.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


Chapter 1: Morning Person? I Think Not!


The early morning larks chirped pleasantly. Way too damn pleasantly. Or so it seemed to Sasuke as he made his way sleepily to the Hokage Tower. He was not a morning person; prone to throw things at people who were and if objects were not at hand, deathly glares from hell would suffice.

At quite frankly the butt-crack of dawn, he awoke to someone yelling at him to get his ass up to the Hokage. Normally, the only time he was requested at such an hour was if and only if there were dire emergencies in store. So in short, Sasuke was tired, agitated and all in all pissed off that his weapons weren't as spotless as he could have made them if he was given this information the day before.

'There better be a goddamned nuclear war,' he thought sullenly to himself.

His footsteps echoed down the corridor where all the rooms were quiet within. Everyone was at home in bed, where his ass should be. He slumped up against the wall, hands shoved deep in his pockets, resuming the well-known Sasuke Uchiha bad-boy stance.

"Glad you could make it," a voice said, breaking his silence. 'Damn, I was almost asleep, too,' he thought. Tsunade stood there, coffee cup in hand. "Come, sit down, we need to talk," she said, motioning with her hand.

Sasuke followed the heavy-bosomed woman into her office and sat down in the chair across from her. It made a rather unpleasant, awkward squeak as he slid into it. The lady in front of him seemed to be carefully contemplating her thoughts as she took a sip from her cup. Finally she spoke,

"There's something I would like to ask you Sasuke-san?"

Sasuke gave her a blank stare. "If you're asking if I would participate in the Cherry Blossom parade, I've already answered. It's still a no."

"Oh, no, no, no, that's not it," she giggled. Sasuke didn't like where this was going. Her laugh sounded too hollow and forced.

"It's to be assumed that you have empty rooms in your household, right? Seeing as you're the last of your clan," she continued.

'Way to bring up suppressed memories, you old hag,' Sasuke thought vehemently. "Yes," he voiced monotously.

"Well," she cleared her throat, " I was perhaps wondering if you minded letting someone stay with you for a couple of months. Just until they get back up on their feet and find themselves their own housing arrangements."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "My home is not a homeless shelter."

"Please, Sasu-chan it would lift some heavy weight off my shoulders," she pleaded, leaning forward ever so slightly to where the top of her cleavage was visible. Sasuke shuddered inwardly at the blatant exposure of old lady breasts. Apparently her aging jutsu only had affect on her face.

"Even if I said no, you would still send them my way and if I still refused, you would make it an order from the Hokage."

Tsunade smiled, " You know me too well. Thank you, Uchiha. You're a lifesaver."

"No problem," he replied, his voice laced thick with sarcasm. It went unnoticed as she busied herself with paperwork. "Who's the person?" he inquired, curiosity getting the better of him. After all they would be staying at his house.

"Oh... just Uzumaki," she mumbled, not bothering to look up.

Sasuke's jaw hit the floor and his left eye twitched in a series of sporadic spasms.

"What?! Naruto?! No, he can't live with me."

"You've already agreed," came Tsunade's uninterested reply.

"Well, I'm un-agreeing then!"

"Sorry Sasuke, you made a deal."

It was then that Sasuke got desperate, lowering himself to last-resort measures. Dropping to his knees, he launched himself at the woman's ankles.

"Please, please Hokage. Anybody but Naruto. Send Sakura even but not Naruto. Never Naruto!"

Tsunade was in utter shock, her mouth hanging open like a water-deprived fish. Not only was someone latched onto her feet, but it was Sasuke nonetheless. What happened to the I-don't-care-I'm-only-out-to-avenge-my-family now turned to I-don't-care-I'm-only-out-to-repopulate-my-clan attitude? And of all people, Sasuke was the last person she expected to grovel!

She stared, open-mouthed, at the nearly grown boy on the floor, sporting the most adorable to-die-for pout that was sure to make the fan girls pass out from swooning. "I'm sorry Sasuke but a deal's a deal," she replied, completely ignoring the puppy face.

"Please," he begged one last time, his voice hitting an abnormal pitch. There was no comment from the woman.

Seeing that she wasn't going to budge, Sasuke got up with what dignity he had left, though it was scarce, and stormed out of the office. You were a retard if you could not see the waves of anger rising from his figure as he stomped all the way home. Most quickly caught the drift and steered themselves away. Others did not have the previous knowledge and were not so lucky. Tell that to the old woman he knocked over, the puppy he sent flying into the next dimension, and the little kid he bitch-smacked.

For Uchiha Sasuke does not slap, he smacks.

The world breathed a sigh of relief as the boy collapsed on his bed and promptly fell back asleep.

Sasuke was not a morning person. Nope.

Not at all.


Author's Note: Still pretty short. Ah well.