A/N: Part two of my little idea that keeps me from a peaceful sleep. How nice. Please leave a review.
I do now own Sailor Moon.
Chapter 2: Minako's Wisdom
The sun was up in the noonday sky, the place Ami had fallen that night was also a spot that she was told to meet with Minako today. She hadn't wanted too, but had done well to listen to the request. Here she was standing in the middle of a park that should have been her escape only to find that she was listening to babble that on any other normal day would have been important. Normality could be a cruel thing indeed, and for a Senshi, this was rather common.
"You can't continue to equate them into something human." Minako had brought up the idea of what the youma were and Ami had to dispute it. She wouldn't listen to such udder rubbish. "They don't work like that. They're out for something, and I fear what that something is."
"They are just as human as we are. You all need to see that truth soon." Minako often wondered…what was being a human anyway? Living for as long as the Senshi did could easily peg them as unnatural and dangerous beings, unholy and worthy of only death. There were other sides of the coin and as a Senshi fighting for love and justice it was in the eye of the beholder. Justice was a loose term, as was love.
"We call them youma, but they aren't some monster without a cause." Minako explained. "They are versions of the truth of us, skewed and ill planned. Wishes of things we want, sins we may commit, things that haunt us, memories we wish to remember and yet once we attain them we regret the action. It is a complete lie to state that you didn't desire her, because I know better than that. I know otherwise. These youma are only a threat if you fight them, and as you've noticed, one has not appeared like me yet. This is because I have no sins I do not know about, my monsters, my demons, my failures, they come in other forms."
"That isn't true." Ami shook her head. "Everyone must have a version of this, or a youma, or something…" Ami was a clinical thinker, but she failed to see the larger picture when it came to things of an opaque nature. She needed clarity and Minako knew better than that. "I think we are just over analyzing the situation. Yes, Rei and I got back a memory, but we're alright now. You don't have to be fearful for us. You and Rei have a good thing going."
"I had a good lie you mean." Minako wasn't going to let Ami back out of this discussion. "I hadn't told Rei, but a dark part of me wanted Rei for myself, just as you envied my position as her lover." Ami shot the blond a glance and Minako sat on the bench. "It is unlike you to skip out on collage, or the weekly lunch for the chess club, yet you've been doing it more and more. Word on the street is that you're becoming your former self. I know that isn't true. You are hiding yourself Mizuno Ami, and hiding will only cause you to face yet another one of your inner demons."
"You couldn't have told her anyway. It would have caused issues. You have limits to what you can say, and besides that, I wanted to know parts of my past. I'm getting that now. At least I know what I had wanted too. As for hiding, well, that like everything else is my choice. Not yours." Ami was being walled and guarded. It was something she knew how to do well, almost too well for the good of anyone. "Just drop it, please."
"No, I won't." Minako shook her head, refusing to do such a thing. This was too important. "You're right about the limit thing." Minako flicked her hair back, she wanted her face in full view and unobstructed. "However, that's my choice how far I go. Fate can't punish me; I'm not a servant to it. Fate allowed me my memories, I didn't ask for them outright. It would have changed things. I know it would have. If you and Rei, if you actually had known, I doubt she would have been with me. You would have had your relationship as teens, and three years ago for me wouldn't have happened."
"So why do you want to address this now." Ami fired back. "When it is clearly all too late for anything to change, now you tell us." She shook her head clear of the rage easily building. "Now that is doesn't matter you are free to love her. Rei cares for you, she will have what she wants and I will still be alone."
"Shut up." Minako was trying to control her own emotions too. "Don't spout lies you know nothing about." Minako couldn't believe this entire thing spiraled out of control because of one memory. "You don't get it do you. The way she looked at you, the confusion in her stance, her protectiveness, her care, her gentle embrace when you run to her. It's so obvious. She does love you, but it's you two and your stupid actions that keep you the way you are now. Alone and confused."
"I could fire that right back at you." Ami stood up, now highly angry. "You don't realize how it drives me off the deep end inwardly when I see you in her arms. She kisses you on the cheek sometimes and it just agitates me. I abhor how much she takes the time to gaze at you in your provocative clothing. The way you flit around in the tiniest thing and she stares at you because she actually likes you for more than your ability to think. She's never gazed down at me the way she looks at you. Not only do you have the smarts when you actually try, you have the body too. I hate that."
"I know." Minako stood as well grabbing the smaller woman. "I know that." If it was because of her guilt or her determination to make things right again she wasn't sure. "Sailor Venus is about love. Love doesn't have a set rule book to follow; it isn't chess, although I guess you could say that the fact that you have to play your game correctly counts for comparison. People always seem to equate it to that anyway. That or war or some other stupid thing, but that's not what it is."
"What is it then." All anger was lost after she saw the look in Minako's eyes. They made her freeze, unsure of why, but she was unable to move, unable to run or retaliate. "What is love? You answer me that." Ami was hurt, simple as that.
"You are both so very infuriating." Minako pulled Ami into an embrace. "Rei is an idiot, and you're not confidant enough to beat sense into her." Minako laughed in irony as the girl in her arm started to tense up, unsure of this rather odd feeling. "She needs to realize that it isn't a bad thing and you fear making her see the truth."
"What isn't a bad thing?" Ami didn't know if she was coming or going, Minako had started to twist her brain with all of the notions. Minako's movements were slow and deliberate as she spoke, proving a point. Ami's mouth felt dry as she was powerless in her own confusion and slight fear. What Minako doing was way beyond her comprehension.
"Love, it isn't definable. It's the worst things on this earth mixed with the best things on this earth. You can't equate it into one single thing. The only thing I can say is that love is love. It hurts, it feels great. I can't tell you what it is; you'll define it for yourself if you really want it." She ran a hand through Ami's hair watching as the girl shuttered at the simple touch. "Sometimes feelings aren't returned; sometimes they are, but even as Sailor Senshi, even as much as we hear about princes and princesses…Ami there isn't any such thing as a fairytale romance." With that she pulled the girl in, kissing her quickly on the lips before abruptly pulling away.
Ami didn't have a chance to question the reasons for Minako's actions. She was too shocked and the taller blond left her side far too quickly. Lost was only part of the equation. "If she loved Rei, then why did she kiss me, and if Rei loved her why did Rei chase me last night." Ami shook her head, she couldn't think straight and speaking only to the wind wouldn't help a thing. Instead she sat on the bench, eyes glued to the ground as a single blade of grass wafted by getting caught in the edges on concrete. She thought she was alone, however, Minako hadn't gone far, the blond ever watching from a distance.
"Don't you think you went a bit too far with your speech?" Rei's voice could be heard near the top of the tree, she obviously had been hiding. "I mean you kissed her and then left, what kind of move was that?" Rei held out her hand pulling Minako into her arms. "I love you, not her…you didn't need to put on a show like that."
"A move of desperation is never just a show." Minako's words were carefully spoken, soft and gentle. "There is something you both need to be aware of."
"Oh and what's that?" Rei's cockiness also gave way to her natural curiosity.
"She needs to understand that sometimes it's the smallest, most seemingly meaningless things that gain the most attention."
"And what about me?" one dark eyebrow rose in interest and confusion.
"You'll know when you should, or at least I hope you will." Minako answered, carefully watching Ami.
"That's not very descriptive." The annoyance in Rei voice brought humor into Minako's.
"I know." She looked on, still smiling slightly.
"You may, but I don't." Rei held onto the blond in her arms. "I don't get it. Why are you so insistent about putting me back together with Ami? You just don't make any sense here." She looked into blue eyes of normally playful mischief, or captivating pools of sensuality only to find a different look. One Rei hadn't seen in a while, something she was unable to understand in words but knew the feeling of quite well. Doubt.
"Do you love me?" The question sharp, fearful, yet to the point.
"Do you love her?" A retort of equal tone made her face the same question head on. "Do you want her?"
"Do you want me?" Two could play at that game. Rei fully intended too. "Would you leave me?"
"Would you leave her?" Minako's question stunned Rei, causing her to not know what to say.
"I'm with you, not her." Rei answered, breaking the line of questions they had started. Minako only shook her head, indicating Rei had answered the right thing the very wrong way.
"Don't you get it?" Minako was exasperated. "Listen close. Love doesn't need to make sense. Understand that and you'll understand love." Minako jumped down from the tree. "Give it time and give me space, figure it out if you really care about it, about love." she took her leave and Rei knew better than to follow.
Love was a difficult thing. Minako knew well of it. She knew how to be happy, how to hate, how to cherish things and people she'd never thought she'd see again, but that was in essence her job. Emotions were common place for her to understand. What she was unable to know, what she found to be flawed, was that every other person in her life, including herself was also part of that flaw. Part of that inability and for lack of a better term, part of the failed attempts to understand herself and those around her….you could point all if it too that one simple word.
As much as she understood, she also knew that none of it made sense, especially her emotions as of late. She really did care deeply for Rei, and wanted the girl of raven tresses to be happy. That was something Minako wished to see, the smile Rei could invoke was a magical thing, a very precious emotion hidden within. Each Senshi had a base emotion that seemed to fuel the rest of their reactions.
Rei was a passionate girl, in every sense of the word. She could offer a death to her enemy so spiteful, so full of hate she would also kill herself in the process. She was so caring she wouldn't stand to see anyone, even those who would harm even her, to be left on the street if she could help. In her moments of acting rude, she acted without remorse, choosing her views instead of the normally welcomed public morals. Everything Rei did was consumed by passion. She never acted halfheartedly. Things she didn't agree with she jumped into, if only due to the blind faith she held within others, the people that fueled her reason for passion in the first place.
She was a tough girl to handle, but those who could, would be gifted far more than they would ever know.
Ami embodied the careful calculation of any would be egg head, but beyond that she was a gentle and calm girl. Her overtly shy attitude was actually her strongest attribute. She was shy, but she was no coward. There was a clear and concise difference. Ami was tactical; her shy attitude made her the one able to keep quiet where everyone else normally lost their temper. In combat, normally she didn't act out of brash anger or irrational fear, or dangerous amounts of love and trust that often placed everyone in peril. She had better methods. She never lashed out without cause, she was soft, her small figure and attractive blush more than made up for the things she lacked that made others strong.
Truly Ami was a woman of interest within her own right. No man, or woman for that matter, would willingly pass her up if given the chance.
Then there was Minako herself. The one caught up within the whirlwind of emotions that she had inadvertently caused. She was a flighty blond with a dimwitted sense of direction, often messing up proverbs and being the class idiot in her younger years. The thing was, what you saw was what you got. Minako was confusion. She acted as skilled leader combat and seeing a bigger, if not odd picture. Sometimes people made cracks about it, but, if one truly thought about things clearly, they would know everything Minako did, was with careful, but jumbled planning.
She meant well besides the outwardly stupid girl she may have appeared to be was a prison for the deeper, smarter woman that lay just beneath the depths.
The entire issue with all three of these girls was a simple answer. No one looked. No one cared, and even if they did, you couldn't tell a boyfriend why you had an injury on your body, or went missing night after night. The Senshi could only rely on one another for the time being, and rely they did. Sometimes, it just wasn't an easy thing to deal with, and this was one of those difficult trials.
The three girls were far, far too much alike and yet polar opposites at the same time. Ami was shy, but like Rei she had her moments of strength. Like Ami, Rei had moments of shy, quiet behavior in regards to personal relationships and often found herself at a loss. Minako was total flip of Ami, acting before thinking. Minako also could be equated as a softer, slightly more spastic version of Rei. Minako wasn't nearly as dumb as she came off as, and although she wasn't a girl genus by default, she wasn't bad in critical thinking skills.
The mess was large, but that's how Minako viewed it. The similarities were too common, the contrasts almost conflicting dangerously, yet love never made sense and that was why Minako was so willing to allow the unthinkable to happen. Their lives were already so out of reach of social norms, it made sense that it would be different in this aspect too. She didn't need space, she knew her wish. It was Rei and Ami who needed time.
That's just what the two of them had when Minako walked away.
"What was it with you running off like that last night?" Rei wasn't in the mood to deal with Ami, but Minako had clearly wanted her too.
"Why would you care?" Rei had half expected a tone of anger or sarcasm, but instead it just sounded…sad. Ami clearly wasn't in the best of spirits.
"I don't know." It was the truth, she didn't have answers. "You just told me that it mattered, I just don't see how, but you two seem to think it does."
"That isn't a good enough of a reason to chase after me." Ami had caught Rei in that one, by most standards it wasn't smart.
"The fact that one of my friends had tears streaming down her face wasn't enough?" Rei shot back, almost angered with how difficult Ami was acting.
"Not when you're the cause." Ami stood, about to leave, she didn't need to take this. She didn't have to take it any longer, at least not today.
Rei watched Ami begin to walk away, half hurting, half angry. "And it never occurred to you that maybe that was the reason?" Ami stopped but didn't turn around, gauging Rei's speech. "Did you ever wonder why I try to keep the past where it is? Have you ever even thought for a moment that it was that past that failed? We were given a new life and those mistakes-"
Ami swing around quickly, tears in her face, a deep scowled of anger overtaking her normally soft features. "Will be repeated!" Ami shouted at the top of her lungs. The sound was as painful for Rei's ears as it was for Ami's throat having had to produce such a yell. She looked so weak then, her anger loosing its strength after that one hardened moment. She couldn't be angry in such a harsh way for very long.
Rei hadn't been expecting that. "What?" Her tone was barely there. Unwilling to hurt Ami any further, fearing anymore memories to show themselves, she watched as the shorter girl stood there, lost for all of the world. "What did you say?" Again, her voice could barely find purchase in the cool breeze and her words were not loud enough. Rei took a step but Ami held her ground, still staring Rei down, her icy stare one that Rei never wanted to contend with.
"That I love you." Ami whispered before clenching her eyes shut. She was never meant to say that out loud, but in her heart she wanted to scream it. Not that it mattered now. Rei was right about that. It didn't matter, it never would. Rei froze for a moment, not sure what to say, unclear in what to do.
This time it was Rei's turn to run, and Ami, didn't chase.
TBC~~~
All I know is I'm never watching 18 hours of Anime in a row again…at least not with that group. I hope you all like this because I really have no rhyme, reason, or actual story plot going into this. I really am just blindly typing. I hope it's not crap. Please read and review.
