Toonville: The Official 2013 Reboot

Episode 1: So You Think You Can "WA-TAH!"

Plot: Lumpy decides he should become a karate movie star, walking in the steps of people like Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, but hilarity ensues along the way to stardom.

Sub-plot: Rainbow Dash finds that studious Twilight Sparkle has a deep dislike for her enjoyment of professional wrestling, so she tries their best to show her a little something about how extreme it can get.

Rated M for strong language and several accounts of adult situations. Most episodes could stand at a T rating, however, despite the story being M on this site.

I do not own any of the characters and props used for this show (with a couple of exceptions), because they belong to their rightful owners (IE: FOX, Hasbro, Cartoon Network, Mondo Media)

In a good amount of episodes, the plot and sub-plots usually relate to a single topic, such as love, drama and sadness.

This episode carries the topic of the advantages and disadvantages of fighting.

By the way, yes, that was Lumpy's semen in the pilot that was the white stuff. Why do you think it's rated between T and M? And there will be occasional episodes that were "aired" from before 2013, complete with air-date.

Airdate of this episode: March 3, 2013

Main and secondary characters making their first appearance:

Twilight Sparkle, the Studying Smartie

Age: 19

Show of origin: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Brief description on her character in the show: Twilight is pretty much the same as she is in FiM. However, she is struggling with some of her issues with some of the other residents in Toonville. She has also been diagnosed in the past with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which is an explanation for her wanting to keep her house in order. She is a student teacher in Toonville High, which is involved with several of the stories and plotlines in Toonville over the series. And NO, she won't be an alicorn at ALL, considering this is an alternate universe crossover, in which Magical Mystery Cure was retconned. Although there are some details from FiM that managed to make its way to Toonville, like the villains.

Voiced by: Tara Strong

Likes: Friendship, studying, writing to Celestia, keeping her library in tip-top shape

Dislikes: Extremely unclean items/rooms, being used for somebody else's enjoyment, sinister evil that approaches her and her friends

Spike, the Little Sidekick

Age: 10

Show of origin: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Brief description on his character in this show: He is still Twilight's assistant, but he shows traits of irritating Twilight and being reckless at times, mainly due to his relationship with Rainbow Dash. Dash's attitude must probably be rubbing off on Spike. (See below)

Voiced by: Cathy Weseluck

Likes: Studying, gems, Rarity, friendship

Dislikes: Trixie, being used for somebody else's enjoyment, dissapointing Twilight

Rainbow Dash, the Wild Flyer

Age: 18

Show of origin: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Brief description on her character in the show: She's the same optimistic pony from MLP:FiM, but ever since arriving in Toonville in 2011 (before the premiere of this show), she has gone to extremes in this city, as she had become an alchoholic, but she still keeps her cool at times unless her rage mode is triggered. (The rage mode is similar to Flippy's from HTF, but is triggered only when she is angered enough) She has a sexual relationship with Spike, and previously had the same kind of relationship with Regular Show's Rigby over 2011 and early 2012. She currently lives in Applejack's home in Sweet Apple Acres, after an incident left Dash without a home for the time being.

Voiced by: Ashleigh Bell

Likes: Flying, stunts, the Wonderbolts, any kind of alcohol, being wild, reading the Daring Do books

Dislikes: Trixie, anybody who annoys her, eggheads

Buttershy, the Beast Horse

Age: 18 (same as Fluttershy)

Show of origin: Original character based off of fat fanart of Fluttershy from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

Brief description on her character in the show: Buttershy is a morbidly obese clone of Fluttershy. She is very slow due to her weight, and she speaks in fragmented sentences (like "Me am Buttershy" and "Me like food".) and in a very deep voice, as her larynx has been plugged up with fat as well. Buttershy also enjoys saying "Yay."

Weight: 637 pounds (and growing every month)

Voiced by: Jerry Trainor (same as Lumpy)

Likes: Food, eating, rolling, saying "Yay", jiggling for no reason whatsoever

Dislikes: Diets

Roger Smith, the Unhuman Master of Disguise (Secondary character)

Show of origin: American Dad

Voiced by: Seth Macfarlane (same as Peter, Brian and Stan)

Likes: Creating his own personalities, snappy outfits, TV, whenever a plan comes together

Dislikes: His old persona Ricky Spanish, not getting away with crimes, whenever a plan fails

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Starting off the episode, we get a wide shot of West Toonville, showing a plethora of buildings lined around several city blocks, and cars piling up in the streets.

Voiceover (Flippy): Do you ever get so deep into a dream you believe it will happen in real life?

The next thing seen was two people (one being an Asian with black hair, the other an American man with brown hair) choreographing a fight sequence at the local Toonville Park. [1]

Voiceover (Flippy): If so, there is a chance that one of those dreams involve some kind of combat, whether it's fist to fist or sword fighting. You see, combat can settle some problems once and for all, and they can also make problems as well. Fighting isn't entirely good though, considering people have actually died, which isn't a very good thing to think about. You wouldn't want something like that even if it meant your life. Unless you're stupid. Or a wrestler.

Different kinds of camera angles darted all over the place, until we got a medium shot of Lumpy's house. (See above for information on him.) It was was a plain blue two-floor house, although the oddest part of it was the pod on the center of the roof, shaped oddly enough in the form of Lumpy's head, antlers and all.

We cut to the interior of said house. Flippy was sitting writing in his little red notebook, otherwise known as The Guide, his guide to all things learned about the semi-dysfunctional country Toonville. You see, The Guide to him was a very close part of him, like a Holy Grail of information. What the green little bear kid was writing down was what he was saying in the above narration. Things seemed really calm, until...

Lumpy: (off-screen) Tell me more! Now you get him for me! [2]

Lumpy, who was rooming with Flippy, jumped down several stairs that led up to the second floor hallway. He was wearing a beige trenchcoat and whipping nunchucks all over the place. I'm guessing he was LARPing with himself; if so, he's definitely sucking at it. A hard roundhouse from Lumpy struck Flippy on the back of his head, knocking him off the couch. That's gotta leave a mark.

Flippy: Gah! *hits the floor with a thud* Dude!

Lumpy: Come now... *turns his attention towards Flippy* ...wait, what?

Flippy: What's with the Matrix BS?

Lumpy: Oh, sorry. I just had to try these new nunchucks out. They're pretty sweet.

Lumpy whipped the martial arts weapon around a bit, accidentally smashing a vase while doing so.

Flippy: ...Do you have to do that here?

Lumpy: Okay, seriously dude, it's my house, I do what I want. Anyways, I have a dream; a dream of WAH-TAAAAH! *performs a superkick on a robot made of Coca-Cola cans, knocking it over* [3]

Flippy: I'm sorry, a dream of what now?

Lumpy: I want to be... the next Bruce Lee! Heh, that rhymed.

Flippy: Alright, I'm not even going to ask why at this point, I'm just gonna write in this. *refocuses on the guide*

Lumpy: ...Your loss. Stand back; soon enough I'll be a star.

And with that line, the blue moose backed up, away from the couch, and went running at full speed. He leapt up like a grasshopper, and went for an epic flying kick, while emitting a loud battle cry. He went over Flippy and the couch, and went through the door, smashing it and some of the wall. The green bear looked on in surprise, as he dropped the Guide and ran off, as Lumpy groaned from the pain off-screen.

Lumpy: *horribly injured* Bring... bring an amberlamps... [4]

Lumpy obviously damaged every part of his body, as Buttershy, a flabby fat version of Fluttershy, and Lumpy's pet, waddled in on the scene from another room... and then walked away awkwardly, emitting a deep squeak of confusion.

Voiceover (Flippy): Did I forget to mention that there are some people who SUCK? Yeah, you'd have an easy win, unless you suck at combat as well.

(CUE OPENING VIDEO SEQUENCE)

Flashy, flying around shots of West Toonville at night, with lights shining from just about every building around. It was like New York City! Well, you know, before Hurricane Sandy showed up.

(Song playing: To Be Loved by Papa Roach)

Take your past and burn it up and let it go

Carry on; I'm stronger than you'll ever know

That's the deal; you get no respect

You're gonna get yours

You better watch your fucking neck

I want domination

I want your submission

I've gotta roll the dice

Never look back and never think twice

Whoa I'll never give in

Whoa I'll never give up

Whoa I'll never give in

And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

Whoa I'll never give in

Whoa I'll never give up

Whoa I'll never give in

And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

The song cuts to an end, as the Toonville logo appears on screen.

(END SEQUENCE)

In the backyard of his home, Lumpy was preparing to practice on his not-so-good karate skills, and his preparation went a bit like this: he was wearing a white and red gi that sorta made him look like Ryu from Street Fighter (complete with a black spiky wig), he was placing a wooden block on some pole with a claw-like end, and he wrapped barbed wire around the wood. Oh, did I forget to mention the wood was on fire, too?

Anyways, Lumpy was exercising afterwards with some squats and Gangnam Style hops (...I don't even know anymore) as Flippy poked his head out through the back door.

Flippy: *eyes widening* Oh god, what?

Lumpy: Oh hey! You came just in time!

Flippy: Okay, whatever this is supposed to be, it's not gonna work.

Lumpy: Oh "bleh-bleh-bleh, I'm normal, bleh-bleh-bleh"!

Flippy: ...I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

Lumpy: Anyways, I'm perfecting my skills. Bruce Lee had to, and so did Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Liu Kang, and some other people. To them, fighting was, is and/or will always be their lives. Hi-yah, hi-yah!

Flippy: Okay, one, they started when they were young, which you are not, and two, Liu Kang isn't a real person.

Lumpy: ...He is to me, bro. He is to me.

Flippy: *facepalm*

Lumpy: Now... stand back!

Lumpy backed up a few feet for the big kick that previously damaged his door, and went for a running start after a few seconds of inhaling and exhaling. However, just before the jump, and mid-karate scream, he tripped on something (and by something I mean practically nothing) and fell, and he knocked down the pole with his big nose, which took the flaming barbed wire wood block down with it. Well, at least the grass didn't burst into flames.

Flippy: Told you.

Lumpy: *getting up and holding his nose* Ugh... Just a hiccup, don't worry. I just need to break that wood.

Flippy: No, you won't.

Lumpy: WATCH ME!

And then the blue moose went for a little low kick to the wood block that bumped it a bit. And then another kick. He continued to kick the block with increasing force. After over 10 kicks, Lumpy walked off for a moment, and came back with a huge wooden baseball bat, which he used to smash the hardcore block, but it still stayed in one piece. Oh, yeah, and the bat got engulfed in flames. It IS wooden, right?

Lumpy: Aaah! I knew I should gotten the metal bat!

Flippy: You're an idiot.

As Lumpy tried to fan the flames away from his baseball bat, Buttershy came out of the house with a huge empty pet bowl.

Buttershy: *wheeeeze!* Feed mouth, pleeease. *burp!*

Lumpy: Not now, Buttershy! Anyways, it sounds like you already ate!

Buttershy: But me hungry! 1 hour, and need food now! [5]

Lumpy: Okay, I didn't even understand some of that.

Flippy: Dude, he's just hungry.

Lumpy: Get a ham!

Soon enough, a rumbling noise filled up inside Buttershy's belly, and she puked a little on Lumpy's face, which briefly put the scene to a halt.

Lumpy: *sighing after at least 5 seconds of silence* I'll go get Buttershy some food.

Buttershy: YAAAY. *hic!* Yummy.

As Lumpy dropped the firey baseball bat and re-entered his house, his roommate (Flippy) followed him to get something to extinguish the sets of fire going on in the backyard, as Buttershy stayed put where she stood. After the back door closed shut, the obese horse puked up, and it landed on the flames, extinguishing them. came out with a bucket of water, which Lumpy knocked onto the puke-covered wooden items with a spinning kick while holding a big-ass donut in one hand.

Lumpy: HEE-YAH! Hey, the fire's already gone.

Buttershy: You welcome.

As Lumpy tossed the donut at Buttershy, who caught it with her mouth, neighbor Peter Griffin stopped by, walking through the door of the fence that surrounded Lumpy's home.

Peter Griffin: *greeting his friends with a wave* Hey, guys, what's-

Peter got cut off by Lumpy doing a successful kick to his face, catching him right in the chin...balls... whatever, he got hit in the chin.

Peter Griffin: AH! What the hell?! What was that for?!

Flippy: Lumpy wants to do some karate-kung fu or some bullshit like that.

Lumpy: See? I'm getting better! All I want today is success

Peter Griffin: Well, all I want to do today was to say hello without a kick to the face, thank you!

Lumpy helped Griffin up to his feet and brushed the grass off his back before tending to the puked-on block of wood and other stuff. However, Peter's first priority was to hit the grass hard with one arm draped around his chest after slamming his face and chest, practically his whole front area, and nearly knocking himself out.

Peter Griffin: *while getting up* Did not... remember... the closed door. So, green bear kid...

Flippy: Flippy.

Peter Griffin: Whatever, I could help your friend majorly.

Lumpy (off-screen): Has anyone seen my sawdust?

Peter Griffin: I know a guy a few blocks away who can probably help Larry...

Flippy: Lumpy.

Peter Griffin: ...hone his skills. It's not that far a walk

Lumpy (off-screen): Never mind! Found the sawdust.

Peter Griffin: And in addition, it isn't a cheap course.

Flippy: How much? 20 dollars? 30?

Peter Griffin: 70.

Flippy: You're f'ing kidding, right?

Lumpy (off-screen): I don't think he's kidding. PS, get more sawdust.

Peter Griffin: Don't worry, I'll pitch in; you won't need to worry a bit, Ferris.

Flippy: It's Flip-ugh, whatever, just please help him out before he wrecks something else.

FWOOSH! An orange light suddenly began to form near the fat man and the green bear, as they looked towards Lumpy's direction.

Lumpy (off-screen): AW COME ON!

The screen panned to the right to reveal Lumpy standing near a flaming pile of sawdust that completely covered the scorched, puked-on barbed wire block of beige wood. Things are not looking towards the teal animal's favors.

Lumpy: I was just trying to light up a smoke and this is what I get?! May God please strike me down with something good!

We cut to the house of Joe Swanson from Family Guy, where he was rolling down the ramp in his wheelchair to his mailbox. Seems kinda out of nowhere, and may be irrelevant to the story-KABOOM! Oh, spoke too soon! Thunder and lightning could be heard striking down, causing a blue light flare at the right, off-screen, followed by an explosion of yellow-orange. Joe widened his eyes in surprise as sawdust flew all over, some of which was already flaming, causing fire to other pieces of the neighborhood. Oh, and a bit of the sawdust got in Joe's eyes.

Joe Swanson: *covering his eyes* AAGH! AAAGHAA! HOW CAN THERE BE LIGHTNING IF THERE'S NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY?!

I don't know, Joe. I just don't know...

Lumpy (off-screen): *with a pained slur* Somebody call that guy Peter was talking about! And an amberlamps!

Flippy (off-screen): What the fuck's an amberlamps!?

Another CRASH of lightning was heard, as the screen flashed a brief white, as a transition to the next scene.

(Next scene)

Well, after that train wreck, the story moved towards somewhere a lot more peaceful, which was what seemed to be a library fused with a tree. ...You don't see that every day, now do you? In the interior of the librar-tree... house, the first view was of a bedroom at the top floor, with the first appearance (in this FanFiction, although I've already established her having appeared in "episodes" from before this episode) of unicorn resident Twilight Sparkle. Of course, consdering her social awkwardness and the amount of studying in her past, she was just reading like normal. Just to point out, she usually reads for more than an hour, which is actually more time than a normal person would read.

At an instant, crashing and the cheering of an audience, along with the sound of some guy yelling stuff like "BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD!" could be heard downstairs, and Twilight ended up leaping up and driving her head through the roof in fright. As seen through a pan-up, we see this wasn't the first time she went through the roof, as there were three more holes at other spots. Ouch. She should reenforce that ceiling.

Twilight Sparkle: *slightly muffled* Ugh, not again...

The purple pony broke from the ceiling and stomped her way downstairs, annoyed by the noise that could make a wild college party sound like a regular school during hours.

Twilight Sparkle: *getting pretty angry* Alright, have you at ALL learned how to be qui-what in the NAME OF LUNA?!

The unicorn was frightened to see books all over the place, the furniture broken and smashed around all over the room, and even a few splats of blood dripping around. Twi noticed her dragon assistant Spike laying in the ruins of a table, while her pegasus friend Rainbow Dash laying behind a tipped over chair, bleeding out her forehead like Ric Flair in 2 out of every 3 brawl he's in. And... wait, was there a duck eating up one of the books? Where the hell did that come-oh god it's after me! AGH!

The two rough-housers noticed Twilight and quickly got up, both gleaming out awkward smiles. Don't worry, I'm fine now.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I'm just going to be as perfectly clear as I can... *exhales* WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!

Rainbow Dash: W-we were just playing around, is all!

Twilight Sparkle: *refering to Dash's blade-job* How does "playing around" cut your head open?

Spike: *whispering to Rainbow* I don't think she knows that much about this?

Twilight Sparkle: *still very irritated* About what exactly?

A bit nervous about trying to explain the situation, Dash and Spike gestured towards the former's laptop (which was barely damaged), which was showing footage of World Wrestling Entertainment wrestlers aka Superstars CM Punk and John Cena squaring off, mainly showing Punk piledriving Cena. [6] Weird, Jim Ross didn't commentate that night. Where did the "BAH GAWD!" come from? Twilight facepalmed, realizing what the ruckus from just a few seconds ago was about.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my gods, you have to be kidding...

Rainbow Dash: What? There's nothing wrong with two guys battling it out in the squared circle. That's what pro wrestling's all about.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, there is a problem: it's a completely barbaric competition! Not only that, people have hurt themselves just for the sake of entertainment!

Spike: ...You hate entertainment?

Twilight sighed in frustration, and closed Dash's laptop. She is definitely against professional wrestling, I can tell you here.

Twilight Sparkle: Look... what I am saying here is that this type of "wrestling" is ruining the mind, and, to be truthful, people have died from this, and the last thing someone needs is a fatal injury. You should know this; you tried experiencing

Spike: *gulp!*

Rainbow Dash: I'm not following you, and that's a good thing in my ears, because I don't give a damn about your opinions... sometimes. You're too much of a nerd to understand how much popularity it has now.

Twilight Sparkle: *insulted* A nerd? Why you-you son of... ugh! Spike, help me out here!

Spike: *sweating like crazy* Uhhh... eeeh...

Twilight Sparkle: What? What's wrong?

Spike: Uh, Twi... I know you'll probably hate to hear this from me, but... I actually agree with Dash.

Twilight Sparkle: *gasp!* What?!

Spike: Sorry. I just... feel you shouldn't stop us...

Twilight Sparkle: Y-you have got to be kidding! We're best friends! I even hatched your egg!

Spike: I know. I understand. But while I never wanted to let you down, I have to... for my marefriend. You've got to let it go; either that or just join in.

Twilight, surprised and getting real pissed off that her loyal companion would leave her to dry in a pressuring situation like this, began to fume with anger, and managed to blow Rainbow's laptop to pieces with an unhealthy dose of rage-induced magic, which managed to calm the unicorn down. However, she was drained out of energy from the argument

Twilight Sparkle: *exhausted* Ugh... I really need to rest. Just, you two, get to cleaning up this... *pant* mess.

Twi fainted from the extremely stressful little moment, showing how much she was angry from the situation. Dash and Spike looked at each other, a bit worried for Twilight and her teething hatreds.

Rainbow Dash: Uh, why don't you handle clean-up, because *begins wobbling* I'm getting a little woozy from losing all this blooouuuh...

The flyer fell on her bloodied face as Spike was left with the mess.

Spike: *to Twilight* You need help. *looks around the messed up library* Ugh, I'll let the night guy get it. [7] Yes, that means you, Owlowiscious.

The little dragon walked off, irritated that he was the only one conscious, and therefore, the one forced to do the clean-up. Not to spoil anything, but the library part of that house will be back in order, like what happened in this scene never really happened.

(Next scene)

Entering a slightly run-down dojo, we see Lumpy, Flippy, Buttershy and Peter looking around the interior. It seems quite in shape.

Lumpy: Man, how old is this place?

Flippy: You got me.

Peter Griffin: Me too. Now, we just need to know where the hell he is.

Suddenly, an ear-piercing karate battle cry was heard, as a man with a slightly odd body shape jumped into view. However, after jumping out of the shadows, the reveal was that this man was American Dad's residential alien Roger Smith in a full black gi, with a dark brown ponytail wig and goatee. Apparently, this was one of Roger's hundreds of thousands of alternate personalities.

Roger: I've been expecting you, gentlemen. The name is Karran Tate. (pronounced kah-rahn tayte) [8]

Lumpy: What kind of a name is Karran Tate?

Roger/Karran Tate: That is quite a question, but I choose not to answer: that is of private business. *briefly goes out of Karran mode to begin whispering to Lumpy* It sounds like karate.

Lumpy: Ohhh.

Roger/Karran Tate: *back as Karran* Now, I see you've been experiencing some trouble with your skills.

Flippy: He's just starting out; it's been at least a few hours.

Lumpy: And we had to take a trip to the hospital because of a lightning strike that apparently blew up our backyard.

Roger/Karran Tate: Yeah, I've seen those go around today. *Lumpy gets suddenly struck by lightning* See what I mean?

Peter Griffin: I smell barbacue.

Lumpy: That's my skin. *Buttershy starts licking him* Don't touch me!

Roger/Karran Tate: *noticing Buttershy* What. The hell. *begins ignoring Buttershy and moving on with the story* Now, mister Lumpy, for these next few days, you are my student. I will teach you all I have to give you, but-

Lumpy: Yeah, I know, "it's not free," here's the money.

Lumpy gave Roger-er, Karran Tate the $70 dollars, which Karran counted in a matter of seconds before tossing it in a basket located at the back, which had quite a bit of money in it already, implying that there have already been people who visited.

Roger/Karran Tate: Thank you for the green paper of finance; now you are set for a grueling program, for I will give you my finest secrets to the way to being, how you say... *while doing a couple of karate poses* "Da Bomb".

Lumpy: Awesome!

In came Peter Griffin's son Chris Griffin. And he's in for a world of hurt ahead... for some reason.

Chris Griffin: Is there a bathroom in here-AH!

Rog-I mean Karran Tate jumped at him and began to beat the holy hell out of Chris with high-flurry chops and quick spinning roundhouses, knocking the fat kid off his feet several times in only a few seconds. Karran stopped just after about 6 seconds of a no-holds-barred beatdown, which was good because it meant only a mild amount of damage, externally and internally.

Chris Griffin: Ah-how! Ow! Ohhh-whoop, need new pants.

Roger/Karran Tate: *to Lumpy* That was but an example, young one.

Lumpy: I'm in my twenties.

Roger/Karran Tate: Still young in my books. Now, first lesson!

Cue a diagonal wipe in the form of a gray hand (Roger's) doing a karate chop to a few moments later, where Roger and Lumpy are standing near a wooden dummy.

Roger/Karran Tate: Your first task is to bring down this wooden dummy with the best move you have in your current arsenal.

Lumpy: Just watch me.

Lumpy backed up a few feet; I think we know what's coming next. The blue moose ran at full speed, emitting a Bruce Lee cry, and went for a jump kick to the dummy's head, but he aims too far up, and ends up hitting the wooden figurine's head... with his crotch. The moose man let out a brief high pitched shriek that could break a wine glass, as Peter, Flippy and Buttershy recoiled and Rog-agh, dammit, Karran shook his head lightly. I keep getting them mixed up, maybe because THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON!

Roger/Karran Tate: I see your aiming is a bit off, Lumpy-san.

Lumpy: It was better a while ago!

Karran helped Lumpy down, seeing that he needed a little bit more practice than he ever expected.

Roger/Karran Tate: Then a very inconsistent aim you have.

Lumpy: ...Mesa no likey your Yodanese; what do you mean?

Roger/Karran Tate: I mean you need some work on your aim.

Lumpy: ...Still not getting it.

Roger/Karran Tate: This is going to be harder than I thought.

Hard cut to a few minutes later; Karroger-wait, what?-I mean Karran and Lumpy were standing near a wall of wood.

Roger/Karran Tate: I have given you a much larger target, Lumpy-san, which allows your chances of landing a shot to increase almost tenfold.

Lumpy: That's a big wall. Piece of cake.

Roger/Karran Tate: And there's also a wall of glass right behind it.

Lumpy: Habababa-whaaa?!

Roger/Karran Tate: Just watch me go through.

Karran prepared himself, he took a deep breath... and then leapt up with a big dropkick, busting himself through both the wood and the glass without even shattering the glass into pieces; it only left a hole identical to the hole in the lumber.

Roger/Karran Tate: See how I made it, Lumpy-san? All you have to do is make it through without shattering the wood or the glass, and without a single scratch.

Lumpy: ...How do you shatter wood?

Roger/Karran Tate: Just don't get hurt.

Lumpy: YES MASTER ROGER! I MEAN TATE! Hwaaah!

This is gonna get good...

As his friends (and Buttershy) cheered him on, Lumpy went into crane position, readying his right leg as he went along, and went for a mega-tough high kick, but while he did make it through the wood... Here it comes!

...he got stuck, and ended up hanging upside-down by his right leg, bumping his head along the way. That's gotta leave a mark...

Lumpy: ...Did I make it through the glass?

Peter Griffin: Nope.

Flippy: Not exactly.

Buttershy: Hungry again.

Flippy: WE JUST FED YOU!

Peter Griffin: He's fat, it doesn't matter how long since he's had food.

Flippy: He's a she!

Lumpy: *slurring from damage to the head* Juss' give 'er haaaaam.

Karran, noticing how Lumpy sucked in the first two trials, realized this may not bode well.

Roger/Karran Tate: We are definitely gonna need a badass montage of failure with some hard rock to move this along a bit; the sub-plot definitely needs some more highlighting.

Karran-aw fuck it, no matter who he is he's Roger-got his wish, because that montage started right now!

(Song playing: Sound of Madness by Shinedown (they're a good band))

As the song started, Lumpy could be seen lifting a tire on his back, but he began to lose balance, and he smacked around Master Karran, then Peter, then Flippy, before planting it right on Buttershy's body, getting stuck on her.

Yeah, I get it,

You're an outcast.

Always under attack.

Always coming in last,

Bringing up the past.

No one owes you anything.

Lumpy could be seen mimmicking Karran Tate's punches, only to elbow Tate in the nose and knock him down on his back.

I think you need a shotgun blast,

A kick in the ass,

So paranoid. . .

Watch your back!

The music intensified as Lumpy was attacked by Karran/Roger disguised as a ninja, who knocked him unconscious, and continued whacking him until blood started spilling. Cut to Lumpy (with a cast around his head) headbutting the wooden dummy from earlier, but screaming in pain due to hurting himself.

Oh my, here we go!

Another loose cannon gone bi-polar

Slipped down, couldn't get much lower.

Quicksand's got no sense of humor.

I'm still laughing like hell.

Cut to Karran meditating as Lumpy imitated a Karate Kid scene where he balanced objects on his body. Afterwards, Lumpy was seen waxing Karran's back, causing him to scream in pain. Wax On-Wax Off, anybody? Weirdly enough, probably because the montage needed a few extra clippings, Lumpy could be seen doing a ballroom dance with Karran Tate for a couple of seconds. Pretty odd in my eyes. Also, there was Karran/Roger as the ninja again, kicking the Bullwinkle knock-off right in the blueberries. His balls, by the way.

You think that by crying to me

Looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe,

You've been infected by a social disease.

Well, then take your medicine.

As the montage continued, we saw Lumpy trying for a kick to the wooden dummy, only to get attacked by it, although because Karran was controlling it, then Lumpy trying the wood and glass trial again, only to dive through both panes, but get covered in shards of glass, followed by Lumpy trying for hadokens, only to realize it wasn't working... only to get struck by lightning again, which briefly paused the song and the montage and allowed Lumpy to say a little something.

Lumpy: What am I, a fucking lightning rod?!

And then he got struck by lightning again. Poor Lumpy; I wouldn't want to be him right now...

I created the Sound of Madness.

Wrote the book on pain.

Somehow I'm still here,

To explain,

That the darkest hour never comes in the night.

You can sleep with a gun.

When you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself?

The montage continued on as the Shinedown song continued, with Karran/Roger as the same ninja from before once again, sneaking up behind Lumpy and knocking him out again... and then preparing for rape? Afterwards, there were several other tries at the double-wall trial; the first time he hit the wood hard without even breaking it. The second time, he caused the wood to shatter. Probably should've listened more to Karran Tate. On the last of the shown attempts, after several fails identical to the first try (one time even going back-first) he shattered into pieces.

As the training montage still went on, Peter Griffin was seen recording Lumpy's moments of suck on his iPhone, and then sending them over to his dog friend Brian, complete with a brief shot of Brian getting the messages back in Peter's house and chuckling.

Brian Griffin: Heh, that's funny.

Moving on to the next scene, we see Lumpy and Karran doing the Gangnam Style dance... for some reason. I don't know, maybe another filler clip? As a guitar solo began, Lumpy began to get a little better at his chances, as he managed to catch Ninja Roger off guard in the fourth (fourth viewed considering there were probably more chances) try by hitting him with a snapmare and shooting him with a gun... okay, and peeing on him... nothing wrong about that. Afterwards, he managed to go through both the pane of wood and glass in the double-wall trial... and then causing his torso to separate from his legs in the moment, followed by him attacking Ninja Roger with a baseball bat which suddenly burst into flames, but he didn't care: he was at least improving, and beating the shit out of Roger as well.

I created the Sound of Madness.

Wrote the book on pain.

Somehow I'm still here,

To explain,

As success filled Lumpy's veins, the finale of the montage showed him running up a long set of stairs outdoors, following Karran, and being followed by Peter, Flippy, Buttershy... and Peter's buddy Brian, who just happened to meet up with them.

That the darkest hour never comes in the night.

You can sleep with a gun.

When you gonna wake up...

When you gonna wake up and fight...

The last bit in the last scene of the montage showed Lumpy throwing his arms up in the air, celebrating with Karran Tate... and then falling back down again.

When you gonna wake up and fight...

(Next scene)

Well, as Lumpy was improving his skills to become a honed professional, and ready for the big time, in one of the most crazy training scenarios, the stressed out equine Twilight Sparkle was still in a bit of a bad mood after the events from earlier. Remembering the library in ruins, and her assistant (Spike) almost severely injured because of his girlfriend (Rainbow Dash), the student of Celestia sat in her bedroom trying to calm herself down with a good book and some resting on her soft bed, as she certainly wanted no more parts in their antics today. Seeing the conflict between Rainbow and Twilight, they could break up as friends if something very disasterous happened to either one of both of them, and seeing this kind of conflict tells me that this won't end well for one of these two ponies.

Of course, whenever somebody needs some peace and quiet, there's usually something or someone who could disturb them.

*Knock-knock!* Oh, there's the disturbance! A knocking was heard outside 's window, but she chose to ignore it, and turned away from it... and then the knocking continued. Twi got a bit more agitated, and turned towards the window, where she noticed Rainbow Dash, one of two people who harrassed her earlier today, hovering at her window and holding up a picture of the WWE logo, trying to make up for earlier. The bookworm responded fairly.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm not interested in your men in spandex!

Twilight then threw a book through the window, shattering it and hitting Dash square in the face, and sent her briefly falling down onto her face on the grass. The grass is your friend, by the way. You'll be fine. However, the pegasus managed to recover quickly, and tried an alternate route through the front door-the door which was locked. The window's broken, go through there. After a hard try at getting the door open through some hard shoves, Rainbow bucked the bottom half of the door in anger, opening only half of it up for entry. I guess she forgot that convenient backup entry.

She squeezed through the half-as-large opening and flew up the stairs at a quiet pace. She made it up to the second floor, and noticed Twilight trying to get some comfort under her bed sheets. The wild flyer smacked at her back, forcing her to get up. The unicorn did so, and, after briefly being startled by Dash somehow being able to make it inside her house, she realized one thing.

Twilight Sparkle: The bottom door was open, wasn't it?

Rainbow Dash: That doesn't matter! What matters is we need to talk, and I'm not afraid to go the hard way.

Twilight Sparkle: I am entitled to my opinion! You don't get a say in this, and neither do the people who follow you!

Rainbow Dash: Wait, even Spike?

Twilight Sparkle: If it means having to turn away from him, then yes! And you should just stick to your own business and get out of here!

Rainbow Dash: Make me!

SMACK! Rainbow Dash was sent flying out, and down the stairs. This was boilling down, as Twilight passed by Rainbow and proceeded to take a bit of a walk to try and get away from the troubles.

Rainbow Dash: Son of a-hey!

Whoosh! Dash flew towards the angered unicorn, who blocked her out with a magic shield of some sort. Rainbow, however, managed to get around the blockage, and her eyes began to glow blood red with enragement, implying her going into rage mode and raced after Twilight.

The swift pegasus locked in a front necklock on the unicorn, in a guillotine choke no less, and it caused some commotion around the town, as Twilight ended up running around town, trying to get out of the hold before losing conciousness.

Twilight Sparkle: Get... off... of... ME!

However, trying to throw Rainbow off didn't work, as the two equines both went down, unfortunately, on the sidewalk. Rainbow Dash wasn't severly hurt, aside from a few scratches on her back and wings, but the same can't be said for Twilight... When they both fell, Twilight went face first into the concrete ground, and while it sounds painful, trust me; it was worse than that. Her nose touched the floor first and snapped, at least a couple of her front teeth chipped a bit, and from the fast drop, blood managed to spill from the cuts suffered upon landing.

As Rainbow Dash got up, she noticed Twilight writhing in pain from the face-plant, and snapped out of her psychotic mode to realize what she's done and comfort the bleeding purple pony, while several other Toonvillians (including Cleveland Brown of Family Guy and Cleveland Show fame)

Rainbow Dash: Twilight! Oh my gosh, what have I done?!

Cleveland Brown: Oh my god, somebody call a vet!

Unnamed male human citizen: Someone call for help!

Unnamed male equine citizen: Who is that girl again?

Noticing the commotion from a few feet away, Spike came by to notice his companion (Twilight) on the ground, regaining conciousness.

Spike: Aah! Twilight! *begins to comfort her* Dashie, what did you do?!

Rainbow Dash: How'd you know I had something to do with this?

Spike: It seems really obvious.

Twilight began to notice the people crowding around her, and recollected what happened the moment she went face-first in hard concrete, in which her anger came back.

Twilight Sparkle: Get OFF me right now!

And with that, everybody began to scurry off, but Twilight wasn't finished with Rainbow Dash just yet, as she stopped her in her tracks, also halting Spike as well.

Twilight Sparkle: Except you.

Rainbow Dash: *slowly turning around, scared* Twi, j-just calm down. I'm sorry, alright? My fault a hundred and twenty percent. *squee!*

Those who wish to view this vulgar speech, you may continue. It is not exactly for the faint of heart.

Twilight Sparkle: *at her breaking point* ...Calm down? Calm down? Why in the fuck would I ever calm down when you do *referring to her injury* this to me?! I'm sorry-I, I, I don't fuck around with this shit! I don't, okay? The people you watch smack each other around are people who have broken their bodies on numerous accounts, and sacrifice themselves every 365 days of the year, but I am standing my ground, and saying

Spike: *getting a little worried for Twilight* Whoa. Take it easy, Twi.

Twilight Sparkle: I most certainly won't! I told you one fucking thing about "pro wrestling"; it's barbaric! Destructive! Fucking dangerous!

Rainbow Dash: Wow, so many F-bombs, I definitely went too far-

Twilight Sparkle: Shut! The fuck! Up! Listen here, you fuck-damned monkey, I don't want to hear any more from your fucking mouth. I just wanted some peace in my mind, and then when you and Spike ruined my house, you definitely fucked up royal! And fucking up royal is the worst kind of fucking up, because you ruined my books, my work, my equipment, and then what happened?!

Rainbow Dash: You broke my laptop, remember?

Twilight Sparkle: YES! That is what you deserved, you insane twat!

Rainbow Dash: *GAAASP!* S-Spikey! Please help me out here!

As the townspeople from earlier began to take notice to the argument going on, Spike looked at Rainbow Dash, and then Twilight... and took Twilight's side in this.

Spike: Sorry Rainbow, but... I have to redeem myself.

Twilight Sparkle: *tries her best to calm down* ...So, Rainbow... you can... just make up whatever you want to say... but just know this, you fuck-up; even if what you think is healthy to watch, you are enjoying the pain of others, and you should learn two things: one, you have to have the guts to grow up and give up your enjoyment for the health of others! And two, this is REALITY, you are living in the fucking real world, so you have to actually fucking represent it as best as possible, so fuck your hobbies, and fuck your men in underwear, you sick son of a BIIIIITCH! [9]

The irate pony stopped to gasp and pant from the rant taking a lot out of her, and took a moment to recollect her self and calm down. Didn't Rainbow Dash just tell her to do just that? It would spare us at least 13 fucks.

Twilight Sparkle: I can't be the only one who understands this... but thank God and Celestia... *looking over to Spike* ... I wasn't.

If you survived this hardcore rant, congratulations. T'was not easy to type out.

And so, Twilight walked off with Spike following right behind her, as Rainbow sat down, shedding a single tear from the proverbial fire that Twilight breathed on her from the orchestra of exclamation. Roger Smith, out of his Karran Tate personality from earlier, approached the ashamed pegasus.

Roger Smith: Man, did that bitch take out a lot at you. *turns away to talk to... nothing, I guess* Hey, slut, get me outta this.

The next scene started pulling in from the right, as Roger did a jump-around to it, while putting on his Karran Tate outfit. He and Lumpy, along with Lumpy's friends (sans Buttershy, I guess she's back home), were back in the dojo.

Lumpy: *just noticing Roger/Karran jumping into the scene using the power of the fourth wall* How'd you do that?

Roger/Karran Tate: Just ignore it. Now, Lumpy-san, you have done well, but now is the time to show your true potential. ...Long story short, I booked a gig for you to perform your skills, so you can show them what you got.

Lumpy: Awesome!

Roger/Karran Tate: It won't be that far a walk, and it's... *checks his conveniently-worn watch* ...yeah, you should be going right about now. I wish you luck. *jumps out of view*

Flippy: Well, I guess I was kinda wrong about you; I guess you could make the big time.

Lumpy: Thanks, buddy.

Peter Griffin: How are we going to wherever Roger-

Roger/Karran Tate (off-screen): It's Karran!

Peter Griffin: Sorry-wherever Karran got you to perform?

Lumpy: I think I have an idea.

Cue Lumpy dragging Peter and Flippy with him as he dragged in the next background which was, conveniently, behind the curtain of a stage structure set up at the Toon Hub, the local hideout.

Lumpy: Oh, this is where he got me a spot!

Peter Griffin: Hey, where's that weird fat thing that's your pet.

Lumpy: I'm sure she's fine.

Hard cut to Buttershy back in Lumpy's house, staring at a pet bowl with a ham in it.

Buttershy: ...Yay?

Hard cut back to the Toon Hub, where some man (in the Family Guy animation style) with short hair and cool leather clothes was standing on the stage. I have no idea what his name is, so let's just call him Announcer Guy.

Announcer Guy: Ladies and gentlemen, performing his martial art skills for the first time ever... Lumpy.

A scattered amount of applause came by as the sky blue moose walked through the curtain in his white gi attire from earlier and waved to the crowd, which included Joe from earlier in the episode (he was wearing shades to cover up his damaged eyes from the incident), Cleveland Brown, Twilight Sparkle (her face is a bit bandaged up), and, conveniently, Roger Smith, back in character as Karran Tate.

Announcer Guy: Lumpy, the challenge we have set for you is to break through three hard 20-inch wide, 1-inch thick blocks of wood!

Lumpy: Well, that seems a little easy.

Announcer Guy: I wasn't finished! There's also a pane of glass in front of them!

Lumpy: ...Huh?

Announcer Guy: And the wood's covered in barbed wire!

Lumpy: Wha?!

Announcer Guy: Did I mention it's electric?

Lumpy: Whuh-wha-wa-whu-

Announcer Guy: And on fire?!

And revealed at the left side of the stage was just as the guy described.

Lumpy: HOLY SANTA CHRIST! [10] *runs to Flippy and Peter* I can't do it! I almost peed just looking at it!

Peter Griffin: Hold on, Moose!

Lumpy: Lumpy.

Peter Griffin: Larry King-just calm down and prepare yourself!

Roger/Karran Tate: *suddenly on stage next to Lumpy* Remember your training, young Lumpy-san. Remember and reuse...

Lumpy took Karran's advice almost instantly, and took a deep breath, before stepping back out from the back. He inhaled, and exhaled, rinse and repeat... checked his fighting shoes... twisted his antlers?... He crouched down, and then started making his running start. Lumpy jumped up, shouting out his martial arts battle cry... and extended his leg for the kick! He was about to make it! And...

...then a cut to the crowd recoiling as glass and wood was heard breaking, and Lumpy was heard screaming like a scared little girl. Scaring the little girl!?

Flippy and Peter Griffin also recoiled, and slowly backed away... before running off the screen, while several crowd members got worried, and some others began to leave. While this was happening, Flippy did another voiceover, much like the one from the beginning of the episode.

Voiceover (Flippy): Remember when I said that if you sucked at combat, you'd be knocked out easily? That works the same in this kind of situation. Even if you train as hard as you can, there is still a chance of failing; life is not like a movie; the good guy does succeed, but not all the time here.

After the voiceover, we cut to the next day, where Flippy, Brian and Peter were conversing.

Flippy: Well, that didn't end well.

Peter Griffin: No, it did not. It did not.

Flippy: Well, you know what they say: 'At first you don't succeed, try, try again.' ...And then you don't succeed again.

Peter Griffin: Now, anyways, what do we do with today?

Brian Griffin: Well, I was thinking of just heading to a movie, maybe watch something.

Peter Griffin: Eh, sounds good.

Flippy: It could beat the train wreck yesterday.

Pan out to see Lumpy in a full body cast and a wheelchair.

Lumpy: You guys know I'm in... because I can't seem to do anything else.

Well, seems like an average aftermath to a crazy yesterday-oh, lightning struck Lumpy agai-yep, he's on fire. Flippy, Brian and Peter widened their eyes, noticing Lumpy on fire.

Lumpy: ...The lightning struck me again, didn't it?

Flippy/Brian/Peter: Yep.

Off-screen voice [11]: I just don't know what went wrong!

The episode ends with Flippy, Lumpy, Peter and Brian laughing out loud, in an Everybody Laughs Ending... but then Lumpy exploded in flames, causing him to screen, but a cut to black cut him off.

End episode.

(READ)(&)(REVIEW)

[1] If you didn't get the joke, the guys fighting in this shot are supposed to look like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris. See what I did there?

[2] A word-for-word quoting from an episode of MTV's Ridiculousness.

[3] The Coca-Cola robot is supposed to be a knock-off of the Bottle Bot from iCarly.

[4] I think you can recognize the reference, considering it's from a viral video.

[5] Buttershy is supposed to speak like that, it's not a failure of grammar.

[6] More specifically, this is the match that Punk and Cena had on the February 25, 2013 edition of Raw.

[7] Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide character Gordy says this line on occasion. I just dropped it in randomly to close this scene because it seemed funny.

[8] Karran Tate is a bit of a clever name, because it sounds like karate.

[9] I inserted a few recognizable snippets from the Nostalgia Critic's rant to Michael Bay from the Pearl Harbor 2001 movie review. For those of you who don't know who he is, Google him and watch some of his videos, I guarantee you'll enjoy him.

[10] Another Nostalgia Critic reference, this time to Santa Christ, a fusion of Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.

[11] That voice was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic's famous background pony Derpy Hooves, by the way, if you wanted to know.

Voice credits:

Nathan Kress - Flippy (HTF)

Jerry Trainor - Lumpy (HTF), Buttershy (MLP:FiM/Original)

Seth MacFarlane - Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin (Family Guy), Roger Smith/Karran Tate (American Dad), "Unnamed male human citizen", Announcer Guy

Tara Strong - Twilight Sparkle (MLP:FiM)

Ashleigh Bell - Rainbow Dash (MLP:FiM)

Cathy Weseluck - Spike (MLP:FiM)

Patrick Warburton - Joe Swanson (Family Guy)

Seth Green - Chris Griffin (Family Guy), "Unnamed male equine citizen"

Mike Henry - Cleveland Brown (Family Guy/Cleveland Show)

Tabitha St. Germain - Derpy Hooves (MLP:FiM)

So what have we learned?

1: Fighting is just a hobby and a talent. No need to use it everywhere you go.

2: Sawdust can attract lightning pretty easily, especially in Toonville.

3: Lightning can happen no matter what the conditions.

4: You probably shouldn't let someone else tell you what you should stop enjoying.

5: To those who aren't professionals or smart, never, and I repeat NEVER drop somebody on their head on concrete: *wise old kung fu master voice* They hurt like crap man!

Well, apologies for the slight delay (Damn Writer's Block + my first time actually writing ponies, so I got nervous), so R&R and stay tuned for the next episode! And thanks for the reviews and favings!

...Hopefully I get some extra help on this; it's not a two-man job (me and CharlieHarperFan88).

Yes, I am brony. NOH8.