"Trowa? Trowa?" The messages were garbled. Trowa could hardly hear anything anyway. His mind was dancing on the edge of consciousness. He reached out to his side, the blood dripping off of his shaking hand. The red button was right there. Just a little bit more of a reach and he would have it, he thought. He'd finally be able to self detonate.
A sigh of contentment escaped his lips as he felt his fingers surround the little button. Trowa held onto consciousness for one moment longer, slowly pressing in the red button. "Good bye." He could hardly say it, his lungs quickly attempting to fill back up with the air he lost with those meaningless words.
--
"Trowa! Wake up!" A cheery little voice said.
"Hm?" Trowa's eyes fluttered. What was going on? Where was he? He had hit the self destruct button! He should be dead! He looked down at his body... there wasn't a scratch on him. "Am I dead?"
"No, silly!"
Trowa looked over at the voice. Quatre? No... a tiny Quatre. A little boy? "Who are you?"
"Oh, Trowa," the little boy scolded him lightly, "It's Quatre!"
"What?" That was the last straw of confusion. That wasn't Quatre, it was a chibi! And why was he not dead? Had the crash never happened? "Where am I?"
"So many questions!" The chibi Quatre smiled. He stretched out his hand, poking at Trowa's forehead. "We're here!"
"In my head?"
"Yup!"
"Oh..." Trowa shook his head gently. This was the oddest dream ever. Maybe the crash had been a dream too? Wait! I must be in a coma. Great.
The little chibi stood up and started to walk off. Trowa stood up himself... finding himself shorter than before. What? He looked at himself. I'm chibi too! What is going on? Argh, I wish I would just die and get this over with... this is too weird. "Quatre?"
"Come on, Trowa! The other's are waiting!"
Trowa shrugged. What else was he going to do? I'm stuck in here, I might as well do something. He slowly followed the happy little chibi Quatre into another "room" and watched as he pounced on another little chibi boy. "Quatre!" the other chibi exclaimed.
"Look who I brought, Duo!"
"Oh, hi, Trowa." The little chibi Duo waved at him.
Trowa just nodded. Inside, he just felt utter confusion. What was going on? Why was everyone so chibi? And why... Well, where's Heero, Trowa thought.
Quatre suddenly looked sad. "Trowa, Heero won't come out!"
"Hm?"
"He's so sad, Trowa."
"Heero? Sad?" Trowa questioned. "He doesn't feel anything. It's not possible."
Quatre unattached himself from Duo and romped back over to Trowa. "See, that's what everyone thinks! But it's not true... he feels everything, even more than we do."
"Where is he?"
"In that room!" Quatre pointed to a black door... that had appeared out of no where. Trowa sighed. Was his mind really this weird?
"What am I supposed to do?"
"You have to tell him, Trowa!"
Trowa blinked. "Tell him what?"
"Tell him how you feel!"
Trowa blushed. He didn't want to do that! Not to Heero. Heero wouldn't understand. And it's not as if he really knew what he felt. "Quatre... I don't know."
"If you do, he'll come out!"
"What do you mean?"
"Trowa, if you tell him, he won't be sad anymore! He'll be just like the rest of us."
"Like the rest of us?"
"You two can be happy, and this will all end."
An end to the dream! Well, then Trowa was all for it. And it's not as if telling Heero in the dream would affect anything in real life, Trowa thought. He could stay the same... stay near Heero and not have him feel weird about them being near each other. Because, that's how it would be if Trowa ever told Heero how he felt about him.
Trowa walked over to the door, gently knocking on it. What was the point to knocking? Trowa slowly walked in, Quatre slinking along behind him. He really was a child, Trowa thought to himself. "Heero?" Trowa saw a dark little figure hiding in the corner. "Is that you, Heero?"
"Leave me alone." The little figure murmured. It sounded like a little Heero, Trowa thought.
"Heero, I need to talk to you." Trowa walked over to the little figure, sitting in front of him. Chibi Quatre had stayed at the door, peaking at the two.
"Hn."
It definitely was Heero now. Trowa reached out and touched the little Heero's face. He'd always wanted to do that... but never got up the nerve. But it's all a dream now, no one will know. "Heero, won't you come out?"
The little Heero stuttered. "No..."
"Please, Heero?" Trowa's finger's glided along his cheek. "Heero, I..." Trowa stopped. I can admit it, can't I? It won't matter, he won't really know. "I love you."
A drop of liquid fell upon Trowa's fingers. It was warm. Heero... was crying? He was a little boy now, after all, so he deserved to cry. But Heero?
"Trowa!" The little chibi Heero threw his arms around Trowa. Trowa smiled. He'd hoped this was how it would turn out... but only in my dreams, he thought.
Trowa stood up and took the chibi Heero out of the room, who was still clutching tightly to him. "Trowa, thank you," he whispered gently to Trowa.
--
"Trowa?"
"Hm?" Trowa's eyelids fluttered again. He groaned. It felt like he had been hit by about twenty freight trains. The pain throbbed all over his body.
"You're alright!"
It look Trowa a lot of strength to just move his head and look at who was there. "Quatre?" He murmured. He would think it was still the dream if not for the pain.
"Yes, Trowa, it's me. I'm so glad you're alright."
"I'm not." Trowa grumbled. Heero had been right, death did hurt like hell.
There was some noise in the hallway. Trowa didn't bother using the energy to look. "Duo! Heero! Look, Trowa's awake!"
Heero? Heero was there? Trowa turned to look slowly. Duo bounded in, smiling happily. "Hey, Trowa! Glad to see you out of that coma of your's."
Heero and Trowa locked gazes. Heero just stood in the hallway, not moving. He swiftly exited, breaking his eyes from Trowa... but not before Trowa had seen something. He seemed... uneasy. Why?
"How long have I been asleep?" Trowa muttered.
"You've been out for about a month now, Trowa. We were really started to get worried that you'd never wake up again. But a week or so ago you started to move, and talk in your sleep, so we guessed that you were slowly coming out of it." Quatre smiled happily. He was so glad that the heavy arms pilot was now safe and sound.
"You must have had some weird dreams while you were out." Duo commented, laughing.
"You wouldn't believe..." Trowa sighed. Then the thought hit him. He'd been talking in his sleep? "What did I say?"
"Hm?" Quatre looked confused.
"What did I say while I was asleep?"
Quatre and Duo shrugged. "Heero was watching you most of the time. He asked me to watch you once you started talking... but I don't remember it being anything other than garbled words. Heero seemed a little disturbed though." Quatre looked deep in thought. "You did say 'chibi' a lot though."
Trowa laughed inaudibly. Of course I'd be saying chibi, with all those weird chibi kids in that dream. "Heero was watching me?"
"He insisted that he'd take care of you. I think he felt fairly responsible, but we could never get him to admit that, you know." Quatre commented quietly, seeing the smile on Trowa's face.
Heero... responsible for that? Nope. I self destructed myself, he thought to himself. But Heero cared enough to "insist" on taking care of me. No, he was just making up for his guilt. He doesn't really care, Trowa sighed. Trowa sat up rather slowly, the pain retching through his body.
"Trowa, you shouldn't!" Quatre tried to gently pressure him back down.
Trowa hit away his hand. "No." He finally got himself up and relaxed against the backboard. That wasn't so bad, he thought. Only felt like some one was stabbing me multiply times all over my body, he scoffed at himself. I'll get over this quicker than they want me to, just like Heero would, just like I usually do. Just like we soldiers do.
Trowa sat there and talked to Quatre and Duo for a while longer, until Quatre finally begged him to go to sleep. Quatre pushed Trowa back down on the bed, still reprimanding him for sitting up. Trowa shut his eyes slowly, feeling the fatigue rush over him. "We'll see you tomorrow." Quatre took Duo's hand and they walked out the door.
A sigh escaped Trowa's lips. Duo and Quatre had found something in one another... but he and Heero would never, he thought. It just wasn't how they were. "Even if I admitted anything to him, he'd never feel the same way," Trowa muttered to himself. He jumped slightly as he heard the door open a little. Trowa looked through the darkness in the room, trying to see who was in the doorway now. It was probably just Quatre making sure he was asleep.
"Trowa?" It was Heero's voice.
Trowa didn't reply, a little shocked at the fact that Heero had come into the room, after he was supposed to be asleep. Heero opened the door more, letting the light from the hallway flood into the room. Trowa had already closed his eyes, appearing to be asleep. Trowa could feel the light disappear, the door being closed again. Apparently, Heero had left.
No. Heero was there... Trowa could hear his footsteps moving to the bed. Trowa's heart was pounding in his chest. He was now strangely nervous... Heero, in a dark room, alone with him. He shuddered, pushing back some of the day dreams he had had before.
Heero walked over to the bed and turned on one of the lights cautiously. He looked at Trowa's face, seeing that he was asleep, or so he thought. Trowa could feel Heero's fingers move along his bandages, checking each one. He felt him touch one of the wounds on his arm, making him twitch in pain. Heero slowly moved out Trowa's arm, rewrapping the one bandage that had caused Trowa pain.
"Still bleeding..." Trowa heard Heero murmur. Was he? Trowa had no idea, but Heero had seemed to take care of it.
Heero continued checking his bandages. Trowa could feel his hand go to the waist band of his pants. Trowa was dreading that touch, and found the sensations almost too much to bear. He couldn't stop the small groan that escaped from his lips at Heero's soft touch. Heero stopped for a moment, his hand staying there. Trowa internally begged him to stop teasing, to take his hand away at least. He had no idea what Heero was doing... he couldn't open his eyes to look!
Suddenly, Trowa felt warmth against his own lips. Heero was... kissing him? Trowa opened his eyes slightly, trying to see. There was the perfect soldier, his lips pressed so perfectly against his. Trowa wanted to grab him... but he suppressed every urge that came from his body. Heero pulled away quickly, surprised at what he was doing. He grabbed back his hand from the edge of Trowa's pants and sighed. Trowa could hear him get up and walk out of the room, almost slamming the door as he left.
He kissed me... Trowa thought.
