Disclaimer : All credit for Fruits Basket goes to Natsuki Takaya. Hermann Hesse is the author of the poem, 'September', and Richard Strauss is the composer of the 'Four Last Songs' suite.
A.N. : Hwa! I'm alive, heh heh. I just finished my school exams, and I found an old floppy disk with half-finished fics on it, so I'll do my best to finish them and get them posted. Note, my best isn't always that good :-S… But at least I write occasionally! My computer is working reasonably well, but the internet is totally screwed. Any time I feel in the mood to write fics, my mum is on the computer complaining about the internet. But luckily she's away tonight and I have the computer all to me onesy, savvy. And I'm happy, because my new t-shirt just came in the post, and I've been listening to random LOUD music all night. I'll upload this in school, soon as I can. Gomen nasai!
Okaaay, Four Last Songs. So, 'Spring' was Kyou's POV. 'September' will be Yuki's. This might be a slightly different format, as I lost 'Spring' in a computer wipe, and I don't have the internet to reference to it. And, dammit, I don't have the manga to reference to, either. :-( I think this whole story is kind of at the end of the series. It's a simple idea – the Juunishi thinking about life, the Zodiac… and Tohru.
WARNING: SPOILERS. I'm including stuff that happens in the final few chapters of the manga, so read on at your own risk.
Final note: Does Yuki still think Akito's a guy? I think so, I can't really remember. Can anyone else?
September
o o o o o o
The garden is in mourning.
The cool rain falls upon the flowers.
The summer shudders
quietly to its end.
o o o o o o
I feel… sad. Why is that?
Why are there tears on my cheeks?
I should be happy. It's over! It's over…
I'm free.
I'm free, and I know it, and I'm proving it right now. I'm proving it by having my arms around the girl I love. My real arms.
I should be so happy, and yet… the tears still flow. Just like the rain, just like the river, just like life. I can't stop this happening. Am I weak?
I'm not weak. I've endured more than anyone should have to endure, and I've survived, if barely. Oh, am I whinging now? Well, it's true.
But somehow, I have the capacity to be happy here, with Machi in my arms. I'm sure she wonders what's wrong with me. Why am I quietly sobbing, soaking her hair with my tears? What's wrong with her that she can't make me happy?
I hope she doesn't think that.
I'm the happiest I've ever been. She's had her problems, and I've had mine, and somehow, by some miracle, we've worked them out, all in one moment. There's not a thing wrong with her, and that's why I'm crying - because she's enabled me to be normal.
No. Wait.
That's not true, is it?
Machi hasn't enabled me to be normal.
Someone else has done this – someone else has given me a normal body, a normal life.
Akito.
Akito has let go.
And who persuaded him to do that?
Oh.
Thank you, Tohru.
Thank you.
o o o o o o
Leaf after golden leaf drops
from the tall acacia tree.
Summer smiles, surprised and exhausted
in the fading dream of the garden.
o o o o o o
I don't know what I felt for Tohru initially. I was young – well, younger than now, anyway. I never thought about how I should treat her – I just acted like I always did. Kind, quiet, aloof, effortless. 'Charming', I suppose. Oh, I've heard that description more times than enough.
And, you know, it was only when Tohru came to live with us that I realized was an ass I must seem. I never showed feeling, I never cared – that I can say myself.
But, well… what else could I do?
I couldn't get close to anyone. I couldn't face the pain I would have to feel if I ever became too 'normal' for Akito's tastes, knowing that it would be those close to me who would suffer.
Then… along came Tohru, blundering along, head full or air… and heart full of innocent love. From the moment we discovered her in that blasted tent, totally oblivious to the illegality of what she was doing… I realized that she was different from everyone else. Sure, I knew who she was – I was in her class. But some classmate I'd been. I hadn't even batted an eyelid when her mother died – I never dreamed at the time that someday I'd be visiting her grave.
Tohru was such an open person – so easy to talk to, to act naturally around. I never once felt angry or frustrated because of her – and if she was there when I was feeling like that, she was able to leave me calm.
Happy that she was there.
Did I think I loved her?
I didn't know what love was.
I do now.
And I did. I loved her…
But not in the way I thought I did.
It took me so long to realise what I was feeling. For a long time, I had no idea – everything seemed messed up, a thousand different feelings twisting around my head, never one seeming definite.
I tried to work it out. I spent hours just thinking. What was happening? Why was I so confused?
And every day passed, and I only grew to love her more.
But… it never seemed right.
God, talk about teen angst.
It was all a dream. I was pushing myself, forcing myself to 'realise' that I loved her, that I loved her just as much as Kyou did.
Oh, yeah. I knew Kyou loved her, even if he didn't know it himself. And I realised early on that only he could ever be 'the one' for her. Something… something just fell into place between them. Kyou changed, slowly, almost unnoticeably, but he changed. And right now, just as I'm here with the girl I love, I'm sure he's in Tohru's arms. Because that's just what happened.
Because I gave up.
Because I realised who she was.
Mother.
My true mother never cared, couldn't care less if I lived or died, as long as she came out of it better off. But Tohru… she cared. I don't know if she understood, but it didn't matter. Because that's what a mother should do, right? Give care and comfort, even if she doesn't understand what's wrong? Yeah.
And Tohru was the only one who I knew would do that.
It was a surprise to me, I'll say that – a surprise to suddenly come into the light. I felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I knew why I loved her, and…
I felt like I could live again.
It's funny.
Tohru, in a weird way, caused my problems.
And then she solved them.
And now she's done it again.
Oh, Akito.
o o o o o o
For a long time it lingers
with the roses, longing for rest.
Slowly it closes its
weary eyes.
o o o o o o
So. Now I'm 'normal'.
'Normal'?
What's 'normal'?
I wonder how I'm going to live my life now. Presumably, I won't be forced to visit Akito again – though I will.
I never leave without saying goodbye.
Maybe I can go to college. Get a job. Maybe I can choose on my own. Maybe Mother won't…
Mother.
How's Mother going to take this? Will she take it quietly, submissive as ever to Akito? Or will she kick and scream and refuse to accept that I'm free?
And what will I do?
Will I care?
How can I choose? She's still my mother.
But she's not my master.
It's my life, and it's now or never.
I'm not afraid.
Machi's here.
It's the end of an era, and it's also the start of one. It'll take some getting used to, this 'normality'… maybe I'll miss being a rat-boy. I've never really thought about it. Much as I hated it, it was me. But I'll get over it.
It'll stop.
Because of Tohru.
Goodbye. I'm free.
A.N. : Ohmigoshes, is that it?! (:-O …kk… That felt really weird. Maybe just because I haven't written in so long. It seems shorter than 'Spring', and it's probably a slightly different style. I didn't have beyond Vol.14 of the manga to reference, and I couldn't be bothered to reference before it. So, sorry if there are any errors… Please review, I live to please!
Did you notice my little Bon Jovi tribute up thar? Tee hee…
