I'm bad bad BAD BAD BAD!!!! I'm so sorry for all those people who are reading this, really and truly I am! I've had a busy last few weeks, between a trip to the University of Waterloo for a week and a giant rock concert (for all those wondering, if the following bands are going to concert near you, check 'em out, cause they're wicked: Default, State Of Shock, Hedley, Staind, and the best of the night, NICKELBACK!!! There was another one, and they were pretty good, but pretty lewd:S). Anyways, thats about it. Updates should come a bit closer and regularly now...nothing big is coming up, so enjoy everyone!

CHAPTER 2: TRUTH AND CONFUSION

"Sara?"

She heard a voice call her name. Oh, that voice! It was so familiar to her, yet she could not muster up the strength to even open her eyes. Her eyelids were heavy, she felt drugged; a numb sensation coursed through her body and through her heart, and she could not move, or she could not tell if she had moved or not.

"Sara, wake up…please…"

Greg? Was it Greg?

"Please, Sara, wake up for me."

"Mmm…Greg?" She said, her voice cracking with dryness and fatigue. "Greg? Is that you?"

"Sara?" She could tell his voice changed with relief. "Yes, it's me…are you okay Sar?"

She groaned, and she used all of her energy to move. She felt his hands behind her, helping her to sit, holding her and warming her. Where he touched her, warmth and feeling came back to her aching limbs, and soon enough she had the power to open her eyes. She looked about: They were in a field.

"What the hell?" Sara asked to no one in particular. "How'd we get here?" She looked up, and saw those warm brown eyes stare back at her. Concern was etched in the lines in his face, and she could feel his arm stroking her back delicately, the thumb of the other gliding down the back of her hand. She felt so safe in those arms.

"Sara, don't you remember?" Sara shook her head in the negative. "We were attacked at the crime scene. That man, he had a gun."

Sara started. "Oh, Greg!" She jumped up, and stared at him. The question of why they were in a field in the middle of nowheer was lost on her mind with her new concerns. "You were shot, and then the other man dropped dead! You were shot, are you okay?"

Greg gave her a sad smile. "I'll be okay, but you're not."

Sara stared at him incredulously. She looked at herself all over. Not a scratch was on her. No blood was to be found on her pants or her shirt. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" She looked at him as he sat there. The sunlight was bright, and the rays landed upon them, illuminating everything. The land was flat, and seemed to stretch to the ends of the Earth. The grasses were tall, and tickled her legs, and cherry trees were everywhere. The blossom petals fell all around them, as if it were lightly snowing. It was beautiful there, but it went almost unnoticed by Sara, who was beyond confused. She looked at Greg, who was almost hidden among the grass. He sat as if he were a newborn foal, like he hadn't the ability to rise. He was gaunt, pale, and he still looked worried.

"No Sara, you're not alright. I'm not alright either…"

"What do you mean? You look…" She gasped and the words she had been about to say fell out of her mouth and to the dirt below her. She saw blood starting to soak his shirt, from his lower abdomen. She suddenly felt something cool on her stomach, and she looked down and saw the blood soak through her shirt as well. She looked at Greg.

"Bye Sara…"

"No!" She screamed, and started to run towards him, but fell as the pain inside her started to burn inside her like hot lava spewed forth from an angry volcano. It stunned her, the pain…it had come so fast and unexpected. Still, she reached for his hand, "don't leave me Greg!"

"I'll be back Sara…stay safe for me, okay?" He said, as his eyes closed and he seemed to fade from right in front of her.

"No, no, come back!" She cried after him. "Don't leave me alone!" She shut her eyes and she felt the tears leak from the corners of her eyes. When she opened them again, everything had faded from her sight, and all she saw was white. She was floating in white nothingness, like she was trapped between clouds twelve thousand feet in the air. She was scared, and so confused…what was happening? Where was Greg? She closed her eyes again, with her head near exploding, and tried to forget it all.


When Sara awoke again, nothing was how she last saw it. No longer was she in a field of grasses and cherry blossoms. A smell of disinfectant was all about her now. She could hear people near her, talking about things that seemed foreign to her. She never before felt so lethargic, but something told her to open her eyes, and so with all her strength, she forced her eyelids to lift. She saw a hospital room, and faces all about her came in to focus. She saw one of them turn towards her.

"She's awake! Everyone, Sara's awake!"

And all at once she was assaulted with people fussing all over her.

"Sara! How are you feeling?"

"Do you want some water?"

"Let me fluff your pillows!"

"Guys!" Sara said through the swarm. "I'm okay!" The pain that was still existent in her side caused her to wince, and everyone with her winced with her. "I mean I feel…awake. What happened? Why am I here?"

She looked at the faces of all her colleagues, and she noticed at once nothing was good. Nick looked at Warrick Brown, Catherine Willows, and Gil Grissom, who all looked at each other. The joy she had seen on their faces a moment ago had fled, leaving their faces looking older and ragged. She couldn't tell what was wrong from their faces.

Her own gut instincts told her the very reason for their apparent sorrow.

"Well, you got injured at a crime scene, and now you're here." Catherine said.

"How was I injured?"

Another round of glances was shared amongst the group. Nick spoke up now. "The murderer was hiding in the bathroom of your crime scene. In the ceiling." Sara nodded, and looking down upon herself saw that her side was gauzed.

Exactly where she had felt the pain in the field.

"It's not bad though, hon." Warrick said, making sure not to scare her. "Nothing major in your body was hit."

Like a jigsaw puzzle in her head, little bits and pieces were being drawn back to her and put into place, creating a clearer bigger picture. As more memories came back to her, it became easier to remember. And then in the instance of a second, everything was put in to place. She remembered what had happened. She felt her heart start to race. She started to panic, and she could hear beeping grow faster in her right ear from the machines monitoring her vitals.

"Sara," Catherine warned in a high-pitched voice, "calm down, sweetie."

"Greg." She choked, looking frantically from face to face. "Where's Greg? He was with me, where is he?" Receiving no reply, she searched for the answer in their faces.

"Sara," Grissom said slowly, but he stopped. He could not tell her.

"I'm so sorry sweetie," Nick said, inching his way closer. "He's gone."

Sara looked at them all like they were crazy. "That's impossible. We were talking just a few seconds ago, in a field…he told me he'd see me later." Everyone adapted a pained and pensive face, and Sara's gut started to plummet. "He is here, isn't he? I mean, he was hurt, but he never…Greg's still…" She rambled, looking for an answer in their faces.

She got her answer from the expressions of extreme sorrow as she said his name. Her eyes welled up. "No…" She said, as tears fell down her pale cheeks. She repeated his name louder each time until her sobbing and crying just simply prevented her from doing so. "No! Greg, no…why? Why God why? Why Greg?"

Nick sat down next to her as everyone watched her cry in despair. "Shh…" He whispered as she threw herself in to his chest, crying hysterically in to it. "It'll be okay sweetie…"

However, nothing could sedate her, and she cried and cried until her body could not support it and she fell into a dreamless sleep, where she could still feel the pain subconsciously in her heart. She could not remember the others leaving, nor Nick, who stayed with her until she had heartbreakingly cried herself to sleep.

When she woke up the next time, Catherine was there to meet her, looking at her with careful eyes. Sara immediately remembered all that had happened now, but no tears remained to be cried. She just looked at Catherine with lost brown eyes.

"How're you feeling, Sara?" She asked her in a nurturing tone.

"I'm not four," thought Sara cynically, but she appreciated her tactfulness. What else could she ask for; Catherine probably felt the same pain as Sara. "I'm fine." Sara replied, lying through her teeth. However, this seemed to work fine for Catherine, and she smiled.

"That's good." Catherine said. After her words, a pained, awkward silence followed. Catherine could read what was on Sara's mind, but remembering the previous day, she did not want a similar occurrence and therefore kept her mouth shut. Sara realized she would have to break the ice.

"How long have I been out?"

"A week." Catherine replied, soothingly and slowly, trying to keep her peaceful. Her words had an adverse effect.

"A week?" Sara repeated horrified. "A week? That means that Greg…" She choked out his name, and her eyes welled with tears she thought never remained. "Greg's been bur-buried, hasn't he?"

Catherine looked at Sara, and her face also went to one of grief. "Yes, he has." She saw Sara's lip quiver, and Catherine took Sara in to an embrace. "Oh Sara, I'm so sorry this had to happen, but you know that this job has its dangers."

"I know," Sara choked out into Catherine's shoulder, "but why Greg? He was the least deserving of everyone to go, so sweet and intelligent; he had so much to live for! Why him?"

Catherine sighed, rubbing Sara's back as Nick had done. "I guess it was his time. He cheated death once; I guess the second time he wasn't so lucky." She paused, and added, "It'll ease with time. I know."

Sara nodded, and lifted herself from Catherine's embrace. She wiped the remains of her tears from her cheek with a sleeve and licked the salty droplets from her lips. "Thank you Catherine." She said as sincerely as she could. However, she could not stop the ache in her chest. It was an alien feeling to her.

"You're quite welcome, so come on."

Sara looked at her. "Come one? Come on where? I'm in a hospital, there are not many places of variation that we could go."

Catherine gave her a smile. "You were discharged today, so I came to take you home."

Sara's eyes grew wide with astonishment. Her grief was not gone, but momentarily placed aside. "I was shot Catherine, should I be discharged so quickly? Isn't this a bit early?"

"Nonsense," Catherine said as if she had gotten just a vaccination, "You're fine. Now come on, here are some clothes, put them on and I'll meet you outside."

Catherine threw Sara some of her old clothes, and walked swiftly out the door, leaving Sara more confused than ever. She had been shot, for crying out loud, and she was discharged already? It didn't seem to make sense, but nevertheless, she got up slowly and started to get ready to leave. She would leave this place with any chance it gave her. She hated hospitals. "I was out for a week," She assured herself, "Maybe if nothing serious happened to me, the week of recuperation is enough. That's it, definitely."

In a few minutes, Sara was walking in the hospital parking lot towards Catherine's car. She got in to the passenger's seat with a little help from Catherine; her side troubled her, but it was nothing to the pain she felt in the field. The ride home was deathly silent; not a word passed between the two women. And if any had passed, Sara did not know about it. She was in a daze, one where she did not think about anything, or realized anything. She was just there.

"…Sara? Hello?"

"Hmm?" Sara said in response to a hand waving in front of her.

"Sara, we're here." Catherine said as she opened the passenger door for Sara, and sure enough, as Sara looked out the window she could see her apartment complex. Catherine helped her out of the door, and up the stairs to her room. Sara couldn't remember how Catherine got her key. She didn't really care.

"Now, Grissom said you have the next two days off, and you have office duty for a day after that, just to get you back in to the swing of things. If you need anything, just call one of us at the lab, we'll come as soon as we can. Are you going to be okay?" Catherine asked Sara who was just staring blankly at her.

"Yeah…"

"Good. Well, I hope you feel better soon, Sara, I'll talk to you later. Get some rest." Catherine turned away, but soon looked back at Sara, who hadn't moved. "And don't worry. Pain heals with time. For a while it'll be bad, but you'll see. Soon you'll forget all about him."

This shook Sara out of her stupor, and she gazed at Catherine with vast shock. She was going to ask her what she meant but she could not get her mouth to work before Catherine was already halfway down the street.

"Forget all about him…"

How could she ever forget about one of her best friends? Why would she ever want to? Catherine was crazy! All of this was crazy! As Sara thought more and more about it as she walked into her apartment, tears sprung anew in to her eyes, and trickled down her flush cheeks. She grabbed a bottle of water, and walked in to her room and changed for bed, all the while getting further and further lost in thought. How could she forget about one of her best friends? He may be gone, but she could never forget him. If she did, she really would never have forgiven herself. Greg deserved more than being forgotten like a piece of trash on the side of the road. He deserved to be remembered for all his best qualities. It was what he would have wanted.

Sara started to sob. The more she thought of Greg, the more reality seemed to push on her like gravity. Greg was gone, and her whole world seemed to be crashing down around her. Greg was gone…she would never hear his jokes, or watch him with amusement as he played practical jokes on Nick and Warrick. She would never watch his face light up with a great discovery of evidence one of the more experienced CSI's missed, or feel pride when he found something amazing. She would never have the opportunity to have him flirt with her, or work by his side as partners. Her sobbing became hysterical.

She flung herself on to her bed, and cried in to her pillow. "What am I going to do?" She thought to herself. She never felt this way before. She felt hollow inside. The sorrow and grief threatened to create a black void in her heart so great she would never see light again. She struggled for breath. She needed a purpose...but her thoughts were spinning too out of control for that. She would never survive long enough to think of a purpose, and this truth scared her.

She needed to escape, if only for a few hours. She needed sleep to come and envelope her and carry her off to a place where she did not need to worry about any of her worldly troubles. But in her state she would never fall to sleep on her own. She needed help.

Still crying feverishly, she reached down into her bedside table and withdrew a bottle of small white tablets. They were her secret stash of sleeping pills that she kept for after those really hard cases that kept her awake, her mind screaming and left in turmoil. She shakily popped one into her mouth and swallowed it dry, and after five minutes of still crying, she could finally feel the effects, and very, very soon she had drifted off into a sleep. She had escaped the world and harsh reality for a few hours, but her troubles were far from over.


There...this chapter may seem slow, but it was necessary...and now, the next chapter will present her biggest issue:) Hope you enjoy!