Mercy's POV

All Or Nothing

By the last term of Sam's final year I was threatening him to have a good time about it "Get out have some damn fun, make some mistakes Sam, regret nothing, but no pregnancies" hoping he'd do all the usual school stuff, he had fun I know he did. We were both free by the end of it and the world was our playground again, we enjoyed each other's company by day and he held me in his arms for the two nights I was in town. Then before we could say Samcedes he was standing at the airport seeing me off yet again, I couldn't help wondering if this was really going to be our lives

"I miss you already" was all he could actually get out, I smiled and nodded acknowledgement, how was I going to tell him I'd miss his touch, that I loved him kissing me, we hadn't got to sex yet, not even had a conversation about it, I was looking at him but I missed his face already, those crazy words he said that made sense to us, his hair getting out of control on top of his head as we rolled around the grass together, even seeing myself in his eyes gave me a warm feeling that sent me to that place we'd learned to call home. How could I explain that I melted like ice cream in a warm bowl in his arms, that I knew we were end game and worse still how every time we parted that longing ache would start all over again. I looked at him and somehow knew I didn't need to tell him all that, the look on his face told me he already knew that the pain of my heart breaking at the event of a betrayal, was the reason I refused to be with him while I was away

He kissed me before I turned and walked away, I was crying from somewhere deep inside and I really didn't need him to see that, but I needed to see him one more time before I left so I looked quickly hoping he hadn't noticed how hard this was for me, and then I was gone, sitting on the plane wishing it was taking me back to Lima instead of back to LA

Love Love Love

"Mercy" he shouted down the phone when I answered "One word and tell me what I'm thinking about" he giggled "Prom"

"That's too easy, me" I laughed

"Yeah" he laughed more "I'm taking Tina, she picked me"

"I know"

"So why don't you ever call when you hear stuff about me?"

"Have a good time remember?"

"I remember, but it's a tall order"

It seemed like seconds later he was on the phone again ranting about Tina "She binned me" he screeched at the top of his voice "I wouldn't mind but she's not even that damn cool"

"Sam" I moaned at him for dissing my girl "Let her have her time"

"I do this for you, you know that right?"

"Thanks Babe" I purred down the phone, he loved the Beatles, even wished he'd been around that whole time and stuff so I smiled at the fun he was going to have on that

"Girl" Tina called me saying a week or so later, and I knew her eyes were rolling "Your boys doey eyed again on some damn school nurse"

"School nurse?" I asked laughing

"Girl, it's not even that light, I said school nurse, you know he loves his cougars" she laughed

"I'm not a fucking cougar" I spat back at her

"I refer to his first fuck Miss Diva"

"T" I rolled my eyes tutting at her "Let him live a little"

"Okay but don't even say shit to me when the next instalment comes"

"Bye T"

Bye girl" she said as I stood wondering what Sam was up to now

Two weeks and although we'd spoken he hadn't mentioned this nurse, I was almost out my mind when I heard on the grapevine, well Kurt via Blaine via Jake that this thing with the nurse was getting hot. He'd sung to her or something and I was like "Let him live for Christ sake, he's not my property" I yelled at Kurt

"Fine" he shouted back at me and that was the end of the conversation

"I'd tell you about the dance at the Brundle Prom but I guess I need to let him live yeah?" Tina asked me, after she'd just told me about her Carrie moment and her comeback

"If he wants to be with me he'll come back T"

Then that whole thing with Finn happened, it was a heavy week and all we did every night was just be together holding each other, feeling at home not thinking about possibilities, after supporting our friends though stuff. That week went fast and suddenly I was back in LA doing my thing and listening to everyone telling me about shit I saw no evidence of when I'd gone back

A Katy or A Gaga

"Mercy" I heard a rather quiet voice on the phone

"Sam" I replied wanting to grab his head through the phone because just then I knew he was going to tell me that everything the others had told me was true and he was planning on taking it there

"I like kissed this nurse and I guess I asked her out, well we watched a Katy Perry performance together and it sort of went from there I think..."

"Bin it and I mean bin it now, put the fucking phone down and go tell her your done" and that was the very last I heard on that subject

The next thing I heard from him was something about some look him and Rachel shared, I laughed as I listened to him actually warn himself off that one, He'd been to New York for an interview and he didn't think it had gone well, that was the second time I'd heard him talk about modelling

"I need to watch what I'm eating Miss Bitchette's put me on a diet and I'll have another audition when I've lost enough" he told me like he was proud

"No way, I love you just the way you are, you have to decide who you want to please"

"You of course" he laughed

"Sweet" I purred, checking his tone before I gave my next nugget "Sam don't flip but I can't get back for the holidays"

"Seriously?" he shouted back at me "What the fuck am I going to do?"

"Spend time with your friends I guess, I'm in Germany"

"Mercy I know this is what we wanted for you but..."

"As soon as I get back I'll make time for you I promise"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

I was happy to hear him diving into high school life he was having fun and there wasn't a girl in sight as far as I knew anyway, he was ranting about some epic lock in they'd pulled off Blaine, Tina and him which was fucked up when Becky turned up shouting the odds, bragging about how they talked her round and got their night "Sounds like a good night" I told him as I listened

"It was, I think I'm ready to close this chapter" he told me I knew there was a smile in there somewhere

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked

"What?" he asked offended

"What's up Sam" I laughed

"We're coming to LA for Nationals and I need you to be there, I'm like the lead and I just need you right now, will you be there?"

"I'll be there, nothing could stop me"

City of Angels

I walked into the hotel making my grand entrance and enjoyed the fuss everyone made of me before I went about finding Sam's room pushing the door and walking in "Mercy" he gasped as he saw me, making me smile "Thanks for coming" he jumped up to kiss me saying

"I'm still mad about that nurse Mr Evans"

"I'm sorry, I say that a lot don't I?"

"You do"

"I needed you here, Will's put so much responsibility on my head this time round, he wants me to be the new Finn I think, and I don't know that I can handle that" he sat hard on the bed telling me

"I think you're best being the real Sam" I sat near him telling him

"I want to be the real Sam, you need to save me Mercy tell me I'm it" his eyes begging to hear me say it

"When our time comes, you're definitely it, no doubt" I smiled, I knew that in my heart

"Come here" he pulled me across the bed towards him, looking into my eyes "I love you, you know that right?"

"I know that Sam, I love you back, you have no idea how much" I looked at his lips, my mind telling him they weren't his to hold onto, he gave them to me for the longest time, he left the room bouncing with a new found confidence, he wasn't Finn, don't get that twisted, he was the new improved Sam Evans, but they lost anyway and Will announced that meant Sue was cutting Glee Club

"Sam" I called shocked to see him crying back stage "It will be alright" I grabbed hold of him, he needed to believe that right now, he got over it but things were still raw, he wasn't in a good place and I knew this but I needed to get back to work and he needed to get back to Lima, we stood at the airport pretending to have gone to different places so we could meet up

"Mercy I can't do goodbye just now, let's just say, next time yeah?"

"Yeah, lets" I smiled up at him "You're learning the game" I hit his chest before tiptoeing up to kiss his lips "I love you Sam Evans"

"I love you right back Mercy Jones" he kissed me back and let me go, next time" I sighed as I watched him waving at me, tears of course

He stepped on the plane and I was hoping that he was still willing to fight to get his girl back. As I watched him get on the plane I was feeling a few things sad, but also happy there was a promise that there was more to come and I was excited for what that could look like. I'd just got that deal with Sony Records and I was starting to fly the high life, but if I'd have had a choice on where I'd have wanted to be for the next life time, I guess I'd have chosen right beside Sam Evans.

New Directions

Then a few weeks later I got a call from Will saying they were finally closing the Glee club down and he wanted everyone to come back to remember and maybe sing some songs before Sue closed us down. I wanted to go do that, of course I did, but I so needed to get some time with Sam in, I was worried about how we'd left things

I got back the Friday before we started that weeks assignment, and the first person I contacted was Sam "Mercy" I heard him shout as I walked towards the costa coffee shop we'd agreed he'd pick me up from, I was smiling way before I turned to see his face smiling back at me

"Sam" I rushed towards him, my smile bigger than his as I watched him walking fast towards me "Don't speak just kiss me" I told him making him laugh as his lips came to meet mine

"You need me" he giggled as he pulled away, I avoided the answer I really didn't want to broach that conversation right now "We got the weekend?" he changed the subject asking

"The whole weekend" I smiled "What do you want to do first?"

"Let's maybe go back to your place"

"No your place, but no funny business" I laughed but he knew I wasn't joking about that

"Okay" he grabbed my hand and my case pulling me towards the exit "We're taking a detour" he smirked, I love that smirk of his, means he's up to no good, in a good way, it made me smile as I willingly followed him "I have a surprise for you" he wiggled his eyebrows telling me. We jumped in his jeep and talked all the way to the lake

"I should have guessed" I laughed as we got out the car

"Oh this isn't it"

"Oh" my mind in overdrive for what could be more important than our place, we got to the hot dog stand and he brought us one each and a drink before we went off to the cabin, a popular spot at night with chairs, swings and benches around a well lit up building

"So" he smiled "I wanted you to be the very first to know" his grin got wider "And to say thank you I couldn't have done it without you" he leaned in and kissed me saying, I didn't know what to say, but before I needed to he carried on "I'm graduating, next week" he shrieked at me

"I'd like to say I was surprised about that but, you're good for it Sam, you just needed to be confident about it" I smiled back leaning in to kiss his lips, they were playing with me

"There's more" he grinned "I'm going to New York, I'm going to try that modelling thing we spoke about"

"Are you sure about that?"

"I guess I am, you know I'm not academic, is that the word?"

"Yeah it is and you are, you can be, you just need to put more in than some people"

"I don't have the patience to do that right now, I guess I'm choosing the easy option for now, I just need to get out of here, I don't want to be the male version of Brittany next year"

"What get into MIT?"

"No the oldest not virgin in McKinley" he laughed

"Sam" I giggled, rolling my eyes at his description of our friend "You went there, don't be horrible about it, what are you going to say about me when we're finished"

"We're end game Miss Jones, there's a difference, I love you"

"I love you back Mr Evans" I found those adorable lips again saying

We spent our days and evenings together over the weekend getting to school on Monday morning only to act like strangers again, I guess it was easier than explaining what we were just then, which I guess we'd have called very close friends with kissing privileges

100

I laugh as I remember Sam's face lighting up when Will talked about welcoming a special person, I knew by the look on his face he thought Will was talking about me, he made me laugh at how he brushed it off, he has me up on such a high pedestal, he's seriously going to hurt when I actually fall off it. I heard April say something about virgin and looked around the room to see who she was talking to, relieved when I realised it was Unique, I thought I was being spotted up, Sam's face brought a smile to my face again as his face went there on the sex thing that wasn't happening for us right now. We went into song and he's laying on the floor in front of me his eyes telling me to join him "We're singing" I looked away telling him, god I needed a damn distraction

"So what was that all about?" he asked me the following day as we drove to school

"All what?" I rolled my eyes wondering why it had taken him so long to ask

"This competition shit with Rachel"

"She just gets too big for her damn boots sometimes and I need to knock her down every now and again"

"As in Take Me or Leave Me?"

"Yeah I guess" I laughed for him remembering that, so we went in and I did my thing, mission accomplished as far as I was concerned, and then we came up as a draw, I wasn't even upset about it, she'd been given the lesson by Satan I really didn't care who she got it from as long as it hammered home.

"Did you get what you needed" Sam walked behind me asking as we left the choir room that afternoon

"I guess" I smiled turning to sneak a look at him

"I voted for both of you" he told me

"What?" I actually stopped in my tracks to ask, I was winded to be honest "You did what?" I asked again as I watched him looking around at who was close by

"Can we get in the car?" his voice lower than it was when he was sharing his fucking news, I didn't talk I just followed him

"Why did you do that?" I shouted at him as he started the car up

"Something to do with when the girl I love just gets too big for her damn boots sometimes, a wise person told me that I need to knock her down every now and again"

"You're joking right" I giggled at him using my words against me

"No"

"Why would you do that?" I asked him

"Because you need to remember you sing because it's what you love, not because you want to be better than anyone else, I need to keep you grounded Mercy, you're going into a tough business"

I sat watching the road move us along as I tried to find an argument for what he'd said, I couldn't find one he was right, I love music and that's what I wanted to share with the world "Thanks" I finally smiled at him

That night things got a little serious for us, we'd spent the best day with the Glee family, had a mini tiff and got on with our time together, we both knew life was too short to fill it all with arguments about things that could keep us apart, what we had was of the heart and there was no way to get rid of it, it was forever. No matter how we tried, and we did, we couldn't be around each other and stay mad for anything past a day, we were friends with benefits again in no time

"I've had the best day" I told him as we got near my house

"Me too" he smiled "Just say the word and this could be our best night" I didn't reply I just looked at him with my wishful thinking going on, in hind sight maybe I should have nipped it in the bud, but hey that's complicated Mercedes Jones for you. "So you want to say the word?" he walked around the car towards me asking

"We just don't need this night to end with us not talking" I looked up at him standing in front of me now telling him

"We don't need this night to end" he pulled me in telling me what he wanted with his actions, I could feel his hardness pressing against my belly "When?" he murmured in my right ear, brushing his lips against my neck as his left hand gently stroked my face tracing every curve until they reached my lips "Why are you making me wait?" he whispered his lips pecking at my neck still

"Sam" I pulled away from him in an attempt to cool things down, that may have worked for him, but looking into his eyes and seeing the lust that I was feeling mirrored in his eyes, I found it hard to find anything else to say, I reached up and kissed him

"Is that a yes?" he attacked my neck again asking as he pulled me into him, I was sure if I'd have just took that last step our bodies would have fused together and for sure, we wouldn't have been able to distinguish one from the other as my hand grabbed his hair and my leg went up to climb into him

"Mercy" I heard looking around to see who was watching us in our dark street

"What?" he asked as he watched me looking around

"I thought I heard someone call me"

"Fuck Mercy" he spat "Why didn't you just say no instead of letting me get this far?" he looked down at his tense trousers asking

"I'm sorry" was all I could find to say, he wasn't happy but I wasn't being pressured into giving him anything "We've gone beyond what we'd promised" I told him trying to justify what I'd done

"For fuck sake Mercy, I'm leaving school in like two damn weeks, maybe this is the time to put, what is it, childish things away"

"Childish like?"

"Virginity Mercy, you're like nearly fucking 20 surely you don't feel dirty about it at your age, I mean most girls have given it up so many fucking times by now it's almost a fucking pre-requisite to a kiss"

"So Sam Evans I suggest you go find one of those fucking girls and go for fucking gold on her" I said walking away I couldn't believe he was measuring me against his other girlfriends

"Mercy" he grabbed hold of me shouting "Don't walk away from me"

"What?" I stood looking at his hand gripping my arm asking, and I didn't look up at him again until he'd let my arm go

"Mercy" his voice softer as he spoke now "Why, just tell me why we can't get past this, what's the reason?" I just didn't want to be another notch on his damn bedpost, I was scared of becoming just another bitch in his string of bitches, and it seemed that once he got what he wanted he moved on, I never want him to move on from me, but I couldn't make myself vulnerable and tell him that, he'd know he had me lock stock and two smoking fucking barrels. He was about to say something else and force me to answer, I grabbed his neck and took his lips, knowing I'd won this argument when I felt his arms close around my waist and he pulled me into him

"I love you" I looked into his eyes telling him before I turned and walked away from him, stopping to wave at him as I reach the front door. I was in bed thinking when I heard my message tone and picked the phone up to see what Kurt had planned for the morning, surprised to see Sam's name and opened the message 'I'm sorry I pushed things again, I know we made a promise and I'm trying hard to keep it, but you get me every time Miss Jones. You didn't give me a chance to tell you I love you back – goodnight' he wrote, I simply wrote goodnight and sent a smiling face with a kiss to follow, finding sleep shortly after

The next day we were getting together to do something special for Will, the end was coming and everyone had something to say, then suddenly we were sitting looking at Puck and Quinn of all couples, they'd finally got their shit together and honestly it was cute. I sat listening to their song thinking 'Sam asked me that last night and I didn't have a clue' I could see him in my side vision, he was watching me that smile on his face was telling me he wanted a reason and that conversation last night hadn't finished, and before I knew what was happening Will was telling everyone that was the last song and I still didn't have an answer for Sam

Then graduation day came and that morning we were excited for what lay ahead of us "Sam" I almost screamed down the phone late afternoon I'd been getting ready to meet him back at school when Mom came screaming through the house with the news "My Dad's had a heart attack" I shouted hysterically down the phone "I'm sorry but I can't come to graduation, I need to be with …."

"Of course, I need to be with you, I'll meet you at the hospital" he slammed the phone down telling me, before I could tell him not to, he was there within fifteen minutes, I'd like to say I fell into his arms but he pulled me into them he was like a warm blanket, cloaking me in strength, love, safety and comfort "He'll be fine Mercy" he squeezed me saying "And I'm here"

"And you're graduating today" I cried into his chest

"I've got an hour, and this is my family" he walked me back to where my Dad was, said hello to my parents, found out what was happening before Mom ran him back to school to graduate "I'll be back straight after" he told me as he walked away from me, and he was

After the longest 48 hours it was over Dad was in a safe state and things started to get back to normal, we went back to life at Lima there was laughing, shouting, crying and then it was over, totally over, it seemed like seconds later we were back at the airport saying goodbye for how long this time I really didn't know, all I knew for sure was that Sam had left the ball in my court, he was waiting and all I had to say was yes

New New York

Of course our phone came to life again with conversation, "Mercy" Sam shouted down the phone after his maybe 10th audition "This isn't working, I hate it here, everyone's so damn mean" he'd gone to New York, as planned, after the holidays and was staying with Rachel, Kurt and Blaine

"Sam you haven't given it a chance yet"

"It's not for me Mercy, are you even listening to me? Plus on top of everything they want me out"

"Who wants you out?"

"Rachel, Kurt all of them because I'm not doing anything"

"Listen" I said as stern as I could, he needed to listen "I'm coming down there as soon as I can and your ass better be doing something Sam Evans because if you're not even trying I will be pissed"

"You need me" he smiled down the phone

"You need me by the sound of things" I felt a bit guilty really, I'd encouraged him to get to New York and try his hand at this modelling thing, he'd got this life long ambition to get his ass on the side of a bus or something and I thought while we weren't committed that would be an alright thing for him to do. Once he was mine there was no way that shit was going down I was much too possessive for that, did he even know that about me? I mean I've never told him I was the seriously jealous type. By the time my mind linked back into the conversation he was going on about some town car "What's a town car got to do with anything?"

"Rachel driving around in a fucking hire town car while I'm scraping for food, and the other day she didn't even let me and Artie drive in it, we got the damn bus"

"Sam" I stopped him before he got more ground down in his funk "You'll have your own damn town car soon, a wise friend once told me, I do what I do because I love it not because I want to be better than anyone else, and I need to remember that to keep myself grounded

"Yeah?" he asked and I didn't know if he was joking at that point I couldn't see his face

"So back at you Mr Evans, suck it up" I laughed "Remember I could get there at any time, so look sharp"

He called me back some 6 hours later saying that he'd got a modelling job for bubble or someone, I was happy he'd made a move. I was on my way to Rachel's by this time so I didn't say much after congratulation "I'm moving into an apartment with a bunch of other models, I'll be going all over the place" he told me excitedly "I'll call you later I'm back at the apartment I need to pack, love you" he rambled off before I could get another word in

"Love you back" I just about got out before the phone was dead

Just two hours later and he was on the phone again "They gave me an apartment with someone called Sam, she offered me some tablets for sleeping or sicking or something, but I just thought what would you do, and I left"

"She?" I asked I was already half way up that fucking wall

"Hey" he stopped me saying "Get back down, we were in the same room for almost 10 minutes, the door was open and eight of those she was describing tablets to me"

"Where are you now?"

"I'm heading back to Rachel and Kurt's, I'm pretty much homeless in New York" he giggled

"They won't let you sleep in the streets" she giggled "I'll call you back"

"Later" he told me as I quickly closed the call down, the loud speaker was about to reveal my whereabouts

An hour later I was standing outside their apartment building, my stomach was jelly, I was saying so much to Sam just being here. He'd left the ball in my court, we'd agreed we were end game and this could only look like I was ready and maybe I was but not for the full relationship thing maybe some serious commitment I don't know all I knew for sure was that I had 3 months in New York and I sure as hell was going to make them count, I opened the door and made my way up to their place "Guess who's taking over New York" I walked in saying, lucky I was already smiling as I looked at Sam to see that mouth open again, like he'd had nothing to do with me being there.

I finally got round to hugging him, it was actually hard to do, we always fall into each other and to make sure it was a hug like any other was actually hard

The next day I set about getting us a home, after hearing about the overcrowding, Sam and Blaine thinking of moving out, Kurt and Blaine's strained relationship even I wanted out of there. I was lucky I got a semi-furnished brownstone and within two days we were moved in

Bash

Sam did his Bubble gig, it went well but he'd heard nothing since, it had only been a few days and he was stressing, he was up during the nights saying he'd sleep during the day but I had to nip that in the bud, no way was I reading him fan fiction. We had a bit of a heart to heart about his past relationships "There's a rumour you even made out with Tina" I dropped in at the end of my moan, he didn't even answer it, he started talking about our obvious chemistry and I knew what he meant I just wasn't biting the bate

But the next thing I knew I was watching that mouth of his, I know he was watching mine and I pounced on him. I wanted, even needed to touch him the minute I'd walked into that flat, but I guess I needed him to want me too so I purposely played my game, I guess I knew I was out of control when I grabbed the T-shirt he had on and ripped it off him, I needed to feel his skin

"Hey" he pulled away from me saying "What, you can touch skin and I can't"

"Don't you want me to?" I looked up at him asking, my I need to fuck you eyes coming out just how I knew how, I'd watched those girls on heat and right now I knew I was one of them, definitely on heat for this man, just being near him was setting me on fire, I'm sure he could feel the fire through my hands as they wondered around his chest, neck and back

"Mmmm Mmmm" he hummed kissing me back, as he kept his rule above the waist and on top of the clothes "Mercy this is too much I'm going to blow" he pulled away from me saying

"We just got started" I said looking at his surprised face

"I haven't been touched in like seven weeks, I'm starving" he moaned as I lay listening to him watching his chest rising and falling fast, I could help with that I thought as I moved myself provocatively on top of him "Mercy" he gasped grabbing my head and pulling my mouth towards his kissing me hard and urgent, his other hand pulling my body to him pressing himself against me as his kiss left my mouth, I lay on top of him watching him making noise with a distorted face as he jerked beneath me "Shit Mercy" he smiled as his grip loosened "You made me blow"

"Are you moaning?"

"No way" he giggled "I need to get cleaned up" he lifted me off him telling me "Can we sleep like that tonight?" he asked as he walked upstairs to the bathroom

"I guess" I smiled as I watched him leave, he came back a few minutes later with his sweats on and a new T-shirt and we lay on the couch talking until we fell asleep.

"Morning" he smiled when I woke up in his arms the next morning

"Morning" I smiled, I could wake up like that for the rest of my damn life

"Can we call this us?"

"I guess so" I snuggled in telling him

The day started perfect, we were finally together, adults, in New York, we were going to make a real go of this against all odds we were going to be that couple. But then we had a coffee with some of the girls from the studio and that just sent me to doubt land, I ran back home and finished with him, before things had even started with us, I didn't even give us a chance, it was after Kurt's incident that I gave myself that reality check I needed. A wise friend once told me, I do what I do because I love him not because I want to be better than him, and he was going to remind me of that to keep me grounded, that was his job

"Sam" I called down the phone when he eventually answered "Can you come to the studio I need to talk to you?"

"Sure" he replied his voice not letting me know if he was happy or angry about the invitation, I sang him a song from my heart and luckily he heard it

"I guess I panicked again it's nothing to do with colour, I guess you know that already"

"I know that, and when you get like that only you can talk yourself out of it, but I'm always here"

"Thank you" I smiled hugging him so tight

"Now will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend, will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes" he giggled

I was elated when he demanded an audience and announced us at dinner that night, I can put my hand on my heart and say he'd never done that with any of his girlfriends before, I was the first and he'd promised me I was going to be doing a lot of firsts with him in our life together. It sparked some jealousy I know but hell to the no, I didn't really care everyone needed to know he was my man from the damn start and who cares if no one saw chemistry, I wasn't sending it out for anyone else to see except Sam, I was private like that.

Tested

We were maybe on week four of this twelve week break when we had the conversation about sex finally, it was getting hard for me to keep everything in, Sam was regularly making out with my skirt, trousers anything I had on really and although I lay and let it happen I was seriously horny. We were sleeping in the same room after that first night and although there was regular rubbing against clothes and blowout we'd never actually touched each other in those places that needed to be touched. We'd tried talking about the feeling once and I'd all but vomited at his interpretation of ejaculation, we were just about to get him another blow out when I felt the need to explain "I don't want to do anything until I know that I should" I blurted out

"Okay we can go as slow or as fast as you would like to, as long as we're together you get to call the shots" he told me and he seemed genuine

It seemed like once I put the subject on the table, it just stayed there, every time we met up that was the main topic of discussion, but I still wasn't feeling like it was the right thing to do. I spoke to Rachel about it and I guess I came away from there thinking that maybe because he wasn't a virgin he'd sort of mark me off against the others and that was my hang up because everything else she talked about all the feelings and stuff it was there. It was week maybe six before there was any change in that department and to say it was welcomed after it came was a absolute understatement, I was fucking addicted

Opening Night

We'd been to Rachel's opening night, well that turned out to be an all night thing and we'd had so much fun and beer, then sobered up again when Will told us about his new baby boy Daniel Finn, sending us all into memories, by the time we finally hit our bed in the early hours of the morning that Sunday, we were dying for sleep. We did our usual night routine and fell into bed "See you when I wake up" he told me kissing my lips, I could tell he was flaked

"Yeah" I turned ready for him to grab me to use as his pillow

He pulled me against him, pressing his bare chest against by back and cupped my boob, I didn't flinch or anything it was the usual above the clothes move, his heart was beating rhythmically with mine at the same frantic rate. I knew he needed to blow but he was tired "Are you alright?" I asked him

"Yeah why?"

"You're hearts pounding"

"So is yours" he pulled me tighter telling me

"Do you need to..." I turned to ask him trailing off when his lips caught mine, somewhere in that turn my nightdress made it's move and suddenly my almost ankle length gown was at my waist exposing my naked self, my left hand was attached to Sam's face while my right one was stuck somewhere under my side, but I felt fine he was restricted to my breast and above the clothes. He pulled me closer to him, his arm moving my nightdress up even more, I tried to pull away but he was near, his grip was fierce

"Mercy" he pulled away as his hand touched my naked skin "What?" he looked down asking me, I'd felt the fire rush through my body as his hand touched my waist, I couldn't wait for him to finish talking I pulled him back to me, grabbing his lips with some urgency

"Touch me Sam" I kissed his neck begging, his head went up to receive my kisses as he pulled me in, I remember thinking that must be a zone as his body pressed against mine harder, his hands left my breast for a short while before I felt it on my skin working it's way up my gown to cup my boob, his bare hand brushing against my nipple was exquisite as I felt him shuffling

"Sam you promised" I told him scared that something was going to happen that right now my body had no control of

"We're not going to have sex" he kissed me telling me as I relaxed in his arms, I felt his hardness hit my leg, the familiar movement felt so different now it was skin to skin, sensual, sexy, delicious even. The stroking on my nipple sent spasms down my body, I could feel myself getting hot, I wanted to rip my gown off to give my skin freedom "Mercy" I heard again sending a buzz through my body, his hand was playfully wondering across my stomach making me moan

"Sam touch me" I begged again suddenly he kissed me and turned me back round so my back was to him, I guess I was upset that I'd got so close to something and he'd abandoned it, before I felt his knee push my legs apart as his hand came round to touch my spot I screamed with the pleasure as I heard him make noise too. His hardness rubbing against my back as I begged it to rub harder, deeper, longer, my nipple hard, rolling through his fingers as he forced himself against me and I forced back moving to the rhythm he'd generated in this heated make out session "God Sam I'm..."

"Do it Mercy" he told me as I felt myself letting out a substance that was alien to me

"I love you" was all I could find as my body jerked and contracted and my voice made music fit for any opera hall as he rubbed until the pleasure went and the pain appeared

"I love you back Mercy" he told me as I felt his hot mess flash on my back in spurts, we lay still for a while before I felt the need to talk

"Did we cross a line?"

"Did we?"

"No I guess that's a very comfortable line for me" I giggled as Sam hugged me for a while before we got up to get washed, we got to the bathroom and laughed for a while about my night gown, his boner and actually taking things to this other level

"Are you cool with where this went?" he finally asked when we settled down

"Absolutely" I told him reaching up to kiss him "I think I found a new pastime for us"

"I think I could easily be your sex slave" and that was sort of how we spent time after that, except I'd been helping him with his applications for auditions and he'd built up to a steady three sessions a week, decent for a new boy.

Then one day I walked into our home to see Santana standing there, I didn't want to freak on her and alert her to anything so I just sort of played the game and conversed as usual "Sam" I shouted when he finally got in "I came in to find Santana in the fucking house this afternoon what was she doing here?"

"Mercy, stop it" he warned me but I carried on anyway

"No I want to know why she was in our damn house" I got up asking him, I was ready for his damn bull shit, he was not throwing me aside for any of those bitches

"She's fed up at Rachel's and needed some space, I was on my way out and told her to close the door when she left, we were here for about a minute" he grabbed my arms telling me

"And that's it?"

"That's it" he sighed "Now can I get a hello" he smiled "And can you start trusting me, if there's anything to tell I'd tell it"

"I'm sorr..."

"Stop with this jealous thing, I didn't do it to them and I didn't care about them, not like this anyway, how the hell am I going to willingly do it to you?"

"You know my head, plus I'm under pressure with this album, they said if I don't have something by the end of this week my albums going to miss it's release date"

"You'll figure it out" he kissed my cheek telling me "I brought dinner" he walked off into the kitchen "I've got another shoot tomorrow nothing big but I guess I'm going to be there all day" he shouted from the kitchen

"I'm going to be squeezing this damn song out, I'll bring dinner" I told him

"Hey" he came out of the kitchen donning two plates of food "Why don't you ask Santana to help you out I mean that River Deep Mountain High duet was dope"

"Gosh talk about blast from the past" I laughed but he had a point "I'll ask her"

The next day I did a take of a song with Santana and De'Shaun liked it but he wasn't rolling with the Santana of it all, I worked on him just like Sam told me to and eventually I got her a contract to sing a song on my album, I guess I felt bad for not trusting her but, up front, she's a brilliant singer, we did the song and the album was done in it's raw form, the time for me to leave was getting closer

Old Dogs New Tricks

Then that damn dog situation popped it's head up, Rachel's dog rescue charity thing lit something up in Sam, he was looking for something to fill the gap I think, I went at him like no other time in our short lives together when that dog ate my hair and when I was upstairs straightening up I could have died laughing at his face, that was a new look for him it was a 'who the fuck is this' kind of look, and yes he should be scared, he thought his fucking Diva week at school was full of Diva he hadn't seen anything yet. It was way through our conversation when I realised he was getting ready for me to leave, I also realised that without knowing it I'd hurt him and truly that was the last thing I had on my mind, we were both getting busy and we didn't even know what was happening next for us, let alone getting ourselves a dog that we had nowhere to put and stuff.

"Mercy I need you to trust that I'm taking this serious, you're it for me, I'm not going anywhere" he huffed "I don't mind us starting to build our lives together because wherever you end up I'm bringing it to you"

"I hope so" I leaned on his chest telling him "I love you, and I do trust you, you know it's me"

"I know it's you and I'm never going to get tired of telling you that I love you back"

"I have to get back to the studio"

"I'll going to represent us at Kurt's show apparently he's throwing his toys" he rolled his eyes telling me

"Tonight yeah?"

"Of course" he slapped my butt as I walked past him saying

"Mercy" I heard down the phone when I answered "We're going to the the cafe for a dog adoption session, meet us there or I won't give McConaughey" I was determined the pup was going, it wasn't fair so I got there

"Hi" he smiled when he saw me walk in, like he hadn't seen me all day "I figured out this afternoon, I'm the happiest I've ever been and that's down to you"

"Aahhrr thank you, I guess you know that goes for me too, you're my end game Evans learn it" I pulled him with me as we grabbed a dog, of course he went for McConaughey, I had to force him in the end but he let him go and grabbed hold of me and that was more than fine, we couldn't wait to get home to do our thing, I couldn't get over how much we sweated and we hadn't even gone all the way yet, were we going to die when our time came?

"Mercy" he called just as I thought he'd gone to sleep and I was busy reciting my I'm leaving so bye speech, I really didn't want to do it this time, we were in our very last week together and tensions were high for us, but we didn't want to waste time being mad about it, every second counted "I miss you already, I think I'm going back to Lima when you go, I can't be here without you"

"Sam what about your modelling?"

"I've got a few more shoots this week and then I guess I'm going to get serious about life, I need to, I can't be married to a famous R&B star and not have a career"

"I've got a gig in the mall on Saturday, will you come?"

"Try and stop me" he smiled "I'm so proud of you"

"I'm proud of you, against all your fears you came out here and you did it just like me"

"We did didn't we" he looked down at me saying, before we kissed and settled in to find sleep

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Sam got a audition at Treasure Trailz as a stand in for some guy locked up or something and the spread was going to be on the side of a bus "It's mine Mercy, It's my dream come true" he told me excitedly, I was so excited for him to get this gig

"It's a big one then?"

"Massive" he smiled "I get this I don't have to work for year"

I can't lie I had some serious mixed feelings when Brittany turned up, I mean he'd married her, I was being unreasonable I knew it, but two days on and I just couldn't stop myself "Why the fuck is she here?" I asked him as we walked through the mall

"You heard the same as me, she came looking for Satan"

"Really, and you just had to be fucking right with that Runaway question yeah?" I looked at him saying "Even I knew that was the fucking Terminal"

"So did I actually that's why I was shocked when she said I was right"

"But why did she say you were right?"

"I don't know Mercy, but whatever it was that was there between us, if anything has gone, she's in love with Satan and I'm totally in love with you"

"Promise?"

"Promise, this shit isn't helping with us looking at parting company the end of this week" he huffed cutting his eye at me

"Sorr..."

"Don't bother just love me back" he held his hand up to cover my mouth telling me

"I love you back"

"Now come on let's go shake that head of yours" he laughed as we mounted the elevator looking at the people below us

The mall gig went well, Sam showed a bit of jealousy at the end but he enjoyed it, I went there with him and plain told him he couldn't attend any more shows because he'd be kicking the crap out of my dancers in less than a month, he laughed it off but I knew he knew it to be true.

"Okay" he said about an hour later "I've got my audition, wish me luck"

"You don't need it, that jobs yours" I told him as I watched him walk out the mall, tuning to smile at me as he got to the top of the elevator. He called me later to say he'd been called back and he was so excited about it I think I cried, he'd so earned it

I got back to Rachel's, the guys were having a night at ours and I thought I'd maybe spend some time with the girls, I hadn't really had time with Brittany since the whole Sam thing and I guess I needed to make that less awkward for us. They came at me with some bull shit about finishing with Sam because the temptation was too much, they didn't even understand what we were going through ourselves, faced with as much temptation as we were, we'd got this.

Then like a slap in the fucking face Sam comes in dropping that bombshell in my face and proving those girls right, suddenly, against everything I'd decided this morning when I woke up, I just knew we had to split up. It was painful we both cried and when we finally got up off the couch it was night time, we didn't even understand what had happened, one minute we were each others everything and just like that after 12 glorious weeks we were back to friends again, unsure if benefits were ever going to be afforded by us again.

The one thing I was sure of was that if this was going to be our last time sharing a bed together I was going to make it fun Sam Evans was going to remember Mercy Jones, if that was all I ever did in life. We fell into bed, we were quiet tonight, it was actually the very last night we were sharing before I went off to LA and Sam returned to Lima, we were due at Rachel's in the afternoon and I was getting off at 3pm

"I need to hold you so tight" Sam whispered in my ear I could tell he was crying, I turned to pay him some attention

"This is later not goodbye, I'm never saying goodbye to you" I told him kissing his tear filled cheek, he looked up at me I guess he was begging me to take him with me, but that was no life for him or me coming to think of it. I found his lips and kissed him lightly, his lips were swollen with crying

"I don't want to..."

"We won't" I told him covering his lips with my finger "Sshhh" I told him as I moved my finger and gave him my lips, I waited until he took what I was giving him before I moved my head attacking his neck as he lifted his head to give me permission "I love you Sam" I whispered as I kissed him, my hand grabbed his face and pulled it to meet my lips, his arms pulled me to him as his kisses started to devour me, his tongue searching my mouth chasing my tongue around it as we finally caught up with each other and sucked until he gave up and let me lead. My hands searching his body as he moved to my touch I was touching places he'd never let me touch I grabbed his butt and pulled him closer as he pulled back obviously too much for his brain, but I was focused I pulled him back and he finally gave in and rested himself on me.

"Mercy" he gasped as I let his mouth go and kissed down his chest, I felt him raise his head to look at me "What are you doing?" he asked as I quickly moved from his stomach and found him

"Watch me Sam" I told him as his head came up again and his eyes opened to reveal the deepest green I'd ever seen on him "I love you" I looked into his eyes telling him as his eyes seemed to roll back into his head and the gasp that came out of him filled the room as my mouth covered him, I was licking, sucking, rubbing, scratching him all over his stomach, inner thighs, backside as he moved vigorously beneath me, screaming my name, I was working him like an expert deep, soft, hard, fast, tipping I tried everything, I needed to remember what my man liked and more than that I needed him to remember what I had to offer. He lay not thinking, I knew his mind was being blown, his girl was actually giving him the time of his fucking life right now and yes it was a blow job but it meant something, it was from the girl he actually loved, his end game, I hoped he felt safe, incredible and turned the fuck on. He grabbed my head and slammed it down on him as his body made ready to let go of it's liquid

"Mercy I love you back" he told me as his body stiffened and his hand held my head down almost to chocking me and I felt him hitting the back of my throat "Shit Mercy" he gasped as he loosened his grip on my head, I looked up at him and smiled, my job was done

"Come here" he grabbed hold of my arm pulling me up to meet his chest as he rolled over onto me "Can I take these off" he tugged at my pyjama's asking me

"Yeah" I smiled lifting my arms up for him to do just that, I was shy but excited my man was going to see me fully naked for the first time and that was sending strange shivers down through my core and out by canal like electrical bolts, Sam took my clothes off and sat looking at my body

"I love you, you know that right?" he asked as I shook my head "You know that right?" he asked again

"Yes I know that" I told him an embarrassment came over me, I had difficulty finding where it had actually come from, he busted a pillow and took a rather large feather which he stroked my naked skin with, at first I was tickled but it soon turned to a moan, then an ache and soon I was begging him to touch me more

"A new first for us Mercy" he told me as I begged him to touch me, I felt myself coming to peak on a fucking feather, then he stopped suddenly, my body was on the edge, it needed release

"Open your legs" he demanded in a really nice way I guess at this point I'd have done anything for him, I did it without question as I watched his face disappear between my legs, I screamed at his touch as he opened me up with his tongue and sucked on my button immediately draining all the energy out of me, my body convulsing so hard I felt like I'd shoot all over the damn walls, I had to hold onto his head to make sure he didn't leave me high and wet. That lasted for about 10 seconds before I grabbed hold of the sheets, my hands sweating as he held onto my legs holding them open as I screamed and jerked through this massive explosion working it's way slowly through my body

"God Sam" I finally got out, after what seemed like an hour later, when my body came to rest

"I give you a gift from God, the voice of Miss Mercy Jones" he shouted laughing as he finished

"Stop it, I wasn't that loud" I laughed a deep belly laugh

"Every time you hit a high note I'll remember tonight"

"I'm hoping you'll remember tonight for the foreseeable" I told him

"Oh I will don't worry about that, you've set another bar"

That next day I'd like to say it was all about Rachel's TV Series but for me it was all about Sam's fine ass on the side of a damn bus, he'd fulfilled one of his dreams without even trying, and I just knew then that anything he put his mind to was going to be his. We got back home packed our stuff, it was weird having Britt with us but she seemed to have adjusted to the new situation

"So are you two end game then?" she asked as we dragged the cases downstairs

"Yeah we always were" Sam told her

"I've always thought you two should be together" she smiled "I can see you're happy Sam"

"I am Britt" he told her and I guess that was enough to put my mind at ease

Parting wasn't really that painful this time round, I think coming to the conclusion that we were it for each other left us with a clarity that hadn't been there before, we hugged, smiled about our night together and parted company, we called it work. A few days later I sent him my first single off my album 'Touch' by Kehlani he approved it and shortly after he wrapped up in New York and called me to say he was making his way back to Lima. He'd spoken to Beaste and she might have some work in her department for him, he was excited and that was good enough for me.

I put the phone down and sat thinking about this whole damn year, it had been filled with ups; I'd got this new contract and my album was finished, and downs; I'd lost a dear friend and my friends were thrown to the four corners of America but Sam was still my one constant, the love of my life and the prospect of being with him again one day made me smile and carry on, I needed to get through this part of our adventure before we reaped our benefits, with not just kisses, what was it Mr S called it "Unfinished business" yeah that's what we were.