I probably should have made my flashback longer than a month, guess that's why Shonda is always ambiguous as to what time its is, oops. Anyways, sorry for the late update. I had it all I just kept going back over it uncertain of the direction and not wanting to commit lol! I read your reviews and they were pretty split on who you wanted "him" to be. I almost considered changing it as I saw my writing drift, but I went with my original intentions (if you don't like it I have another fic for the other ship I will post soon) Hope you enjoy! I'm still angry and bitter and trying to make sense of why this crap with Andrew happened/is happening. Thanks for all the reviews x


"The First Lady" Fitz questioned the nearest Secret Service Agent

"Still in her office Sir"

"Thank you" Fitz said and slowly walked towards Mellie's office, still gripping the folder containing his resignations papers. Olivia's safety was his first priority, but every time he tried to picture her face, Mellie's would replace it. He had seen her smile earlier this week. A true smile and not the well crafted fake smile she bore for the public. He couldn't get it out of his head. He hadn't seen her smile since… since before their son was killed.

"We need to talk" Fitz growled as he walked into Mellie's office. The anger he had for Andrew had carried over into his tone towards her and he had not intended that. He really didn't want to argue with her.

"What do you want" she spat back at him, not even looking up.

"I said we need to talk Mellie, it's important"

Mellie looked up at him, she had sensed the urgency in his voice but now seeing the worry written so clearly on his face was unnerving. A piece of the old Mellie wanted to jump up from her chair and run to his side. To run her fingers through his hair and hold his hand while he unburdened himself. But the new Mellie wouldn't allow it, it wasn't worth her own pain. She steeled herself.

"Fine" she said coldly moving her eyes away from him.

"Before I get into what has happened…. I need to know how you feel about Andrew" Fitz asked

"Excuse me" she spat back, glaring at his chest still not wanting to meet his eyes. Fitz could tell instantly he had taken the wrong approach, but he didn't know what to do. He couldn't just flat out tell her he had to resign. Especially if it meant he was doing it for Olivia, she would never speak to him again, not after everything she had been through.

"I just… do you love him Mellie" he questioned cringing at his own words.

"I don't need this" she said getting up and walking towards the door.

"DO YOU LOVE HIM" Fitz yelled at her. He slammed both fists on her desk causing Mellie to jump and she just stood there halfway to the door, frozen. She half expected her agents to come in to make sure everything was okay and then she realized they had become so accustom to her and Fitz arguing, they probably thought nothing of it. She had a flash to one of their first arguments in the White House. Secret Service practically stormed in the room with weapons drawn, now they probably didn't even bat an eye.

Fitz dropped his head and his shoulders sank. This wasn't his intention, this isn't what he wanted. It seemed like the only effective thing he could do anymore was push her further away. Their relationship was so broken.

"Mellie… I'm sorry" he said still hanging his head.. His voice was softer now. "I didn't mean to yell at you… I'm just…"

"Stressed about Olivia" she said still facing the door.

"How did you…"

"It always comes back to her, does it not" Mellie snapped.

"It does… but it also has to do with us Mel"

"Us" she said in a cold tone. "What 'us'? There is no 'us' anymore. You've made that more than clear" she said and stormed out.

Fitz let her go, he wanted to chase after her but he knew it wouldn't do any good. It was too late. So much had changed. Their sons death had changed his view of her and he knew it had cemented her view of him. He hadn't intended on yelling while she was grieving. God, he had handled that so horribly wrong. But he hated seeing her like that, he couldn't take it anymore. Allowing her behavior to continue— allowing her to waste away drinking every day all day wasn't helping, she was only getting worse. He needed to snap her out of it. She was right, she was back, but she was so wrong, he never hated that Mellie he just hated how she had put up a wall between them. But now he knew why and he felt like a complete failure for not seeing it. But how do you tell someone that. How do you look at your raped wife and tell her how awful YOU feel, like you are the victim.

He would let her go.


Mellie walked slowly towards the Oval. The sound of her heels on the cool tile floor matched the rhythm of the pounding in her head. She hadn't been sleeping again, not that she wasn't used to it. She could probably count on her hand the well slept nights she had in the past 15 years. Her heart was pounding as well, with each pulse she could feel it in her head. She licked her lips, they were dry and she could still taste the hooch on them. She didn't need to be drunk, not today, not anymore but she did need that shot of liquid courage. It was more than that to her though. Her daddy had made that hooch, it was a piece of her roots, of her soul and she loved having it course through her veins. As if it connected her to the woman she truly was. She hated that she had abused it. But this was a new leaf, a new chapter.

"You can go in ma'am" Lauren said from behind her as she stood outside the door. She knew that. She knew what awaited her on the other side, but was it really everything she ever wanted.

Fitz was giving her up, letting her go. It hurt more than she thought it would, no matter how numb she tried to make herself towards him he would always have a piece of her heart. To be loved back by him was something she would probably always desire. For years she knew this could be coming, she had tried to prepare herself but she still dreaded it. She shook her head as if it would fling the thoughts from her mind and swallowed hard as she reached for the door knob. She gingerly pushed the door open to see Fitz, Cyrus, and Andrew all waiting for her. She couldn't look at Fitz, somewhere deep inside she was worried she might cry. Her eyes instead went to Andrew and he smiled at her.

That was all she needed. Her worries washed away from her instantly. She felt for the first time in years, comfort. True comfort, like he was going to take care of her, take care of everything. She didn't need to worry anymore. She felt safe. Mellie took a deep breath and walked over to the couch holding her head high and sat down.

Fitz's heart sank as Mellie walked in the room. She didn't even look at him. Not even a cold glare, nothing, not a single emotion. She must really be done with him. He watched her beautiful blue eyes fall on Andrew as a slight smile graced her face. His his fists clenched., but he only had himself to blame in all of this.

Andrew's eyes had been glued to the door waiting for Mellie, as she walked in their eyes met and he smiled. There was not much to smile about in all of this, but he couldn't help it. Every time he saw her he smiled.

No one spoke for a long while, Cyrus was the first to break the silence.

"Everything has been arranged" He sad with real sadness in his voice. "There will be a press conference tomorrow"

"I'd like Mellie to be by my side during the speech…" he said cutting Cyrus off. "If that's alright with everyone" He didn't care if it was or not, he would have her by his side for this. The divorce proceedings were already happening and almost completely finalized. As it turned out, he and Mellie had both drawn up papers in the past and all that was really left to settle was their shared custody of Teddy.

All eyes fell on Mellie, she was surprised at Fitz's words. He sounded genuine but she was trained to believe it was a political move. She shifted slightly on the couch as she considered it. It was public knowledge now that they were in the midst of a divorce, the shock to the American people would be that Fitz was leaving the White House and not Mellie.


***flashback***

Mellie's lips left his and she buried her face into his neck wrapping her arms around him. She was clinging to him and he could tell she was trying not to cry. He held her head with one hand while he slowly rubbed her back with the other. He couldn't believe it. Had she just told him she loved him. Andrew was in shock, shock mixed with joy. His heart was soaring, he thought he had lost her for good when her son died. Sure they had just had sex in his office, but now she was truly back and she wanted him, she loved him.

"Mel" we need to talk about something Andrew said still holding her. His mind was racing, this changed everything.

"Okay" she whispered. He could tell she was still trying to keep her emotions in check.

Mellie swallowed hard, she was waiting for his rejection. She had become so accustom to it from everyone in her life, why not Andrew too. He was right, she had turned him away, she didn't try to fight to keep him in her life.

"Are you expecting anyone" he asked releasing her and looking around her office nervously "Maybe we shouldn't talk here"

"What is it" she questioned "What's wrong"

"Something's been happening…" he said as his voice fell to a whisper "I'm not sure if it's safe to talk here"

"Andrew" she questioned, the fear rising in her voice

"Meet me outside… in the Rose Garden in 15" he said and she nodded. "Everything is going to be okay" he whispered and softly kissed her lips before leaving.

Mellie was pacing nervously in the Rose Garden waiting for Andrew. She had gone up to the Residence to change and informed her staff and agents that she was going out for a walk to clear her head and didn't want to be bothered. She had no idea what had Andrew so upset and she couldn't calm her nerves.

"Hi" Andrew said from behind her

"Andrew" she said and flung her arms around him

"I'm sorry I worried you" he said squeezing her tight and kissing her head "It's just… I'm trying to do my best to keep you safe in all of this"

"What is going on… are you in danger?"

"No… I… I don't think so" he replied

"But you almost blew up… someone tried to kill you"

"Not exactly…" he said dropping his head

"What do you mean… Andrew I saw the footage… I…"

"I knew it was going to happen" he said cutting her off

"WHAT" she said louder than she intended

"That's what I need to tell you about… here let's sit"

"Okay" she said hesitantly. She wanted to hear him out, but she was seriously starting to worry.

"I'm just going to go right ahead and tell you everything… everything I know"

"Okay" she said sitting next to him on the bench

Andrew swallowed hard before continuing. He did need to tell her everything and he wasn't sure how she would take it, losing her again was not something he could handle. Mellie shivered. She wasn't sure if it was from what Andrew was telling her or the chill in the air, she wished she had grabbed a sweater. Andrew noticed and took his suit jacket off and gently placed it over her shoulders.

"Thank you" she whispered and he just smiled at her. It was the little things like this that reaffirmed her feelings for him.

"So…Elizabeth North came to me a while back with this plan to control Fitz. She had it all worked out. I guess she only wanted me on board to make sure she and the powers that be had control over me if they chose to force Fitz to resign."

"She's been coming to me to try and thwart his plans as well" Mellie said

"I doubt to this capacity…." he said and reached for her hand

"Wait… resign?" Mellie questioned

"They're really unhappy with what he has been doing Mel…"

"This seems drastic…no?" she said looking at him, the concern written all over his face.

"Have you not done things and crossed lines for this" he said gesturing at the White House. Mellie dropped her head and nodded. People could be capable of the worst evil's to walk the halls of power.

"I wanted nothing to do with her or her plans, but she gave me time to think about it and think I did. I worried about you Mellie, about what would happen. I worried if they would try and hurt you to get to Fitz. It was my idea to use Olivia. I just wanted to keep you safe."

"Use Olivia" Mellie questioned "What are you talking about"

"They're going to kidnap her" he said grimacing. Mellie gasped. "They tried the bombing… that was my first plan but Fitz didn't bite and they had a back up… I feared they would try and hurt you to get to him so I told them… I told them about Olivia. They've been stalking her for months waiting for the perfect opportunity and when the bombing failed to move his hand… well…"

"Oh my god" Mellie said, her words barely audible "Andrew… I can't…."

"I know" he said grabbing both her hands in his "I want no part of this… despite what he has done to you… Mellie you have to know I would never willingly be apart of something like this. I just… I was so afraid of what they might do to you. I had to manipulate the situation to make sure it went the best that it could. I knew they would do it with or without me." Mellie shifted away from him, shaking her head. She knew Cyrus could be capable of something like this and maybe even Fitz at this point… but Andrew?

Still shaking her head, she stood up and started backing away from him.

"Mellie wait" he said standing "Please hear me out… there's more"

"More" she whispered as her chest caved in. She could barely make sense of what he had already told her. She needed to process everything, especially her feelings.

"Yes…Mellie I'm not some power hungry monster… you have to know that by now"

"This town… this office… this place… changes people" she staring wide-eyed at the darkness of the garden around them

"I found a way to get to Olivia. I told her what I had planned and asked for her help. She has something set up with her team, but we all have to play it like we don't know. They will take down Elizabeth and her cohorts when it's all over. And she will explain it to Fitz."

"Explain… to Fitz?" her eyes found his

"Mellie he has to resign… it's the only way…" He said trying to touch her again but she jerked away.

"Resign" she said and as the words left her lips the realization of what that meant hit her hard in the gut and the wind was knocked out of her. Her knees buckled and she began to fall to the ground, but Andrew caught her in his arms. She clung to him and buried her face into his shoulder sobbing.

"Mel… I'm so sorry…I know what you have sacrifice for" he started to say but she cut him off

"My son… my son was murdered for this term… and now…" her words became unclear and mumbled as the sobbing stopped and she started to turn catatonic as just tears fell from her face.

"Mel" Andrew whispered and pulled her even closer to him.

Andrew just held her for a while and let her absorb the weight of what he told her. He had intended on telling her about Elizabeth and his relationship with her, but he couldn't do that now. He couldn't add that pain and burden to her shoulders. But he needed to tell her his plans for their future now. It had crossed his mind when Elizabeth told him he would be President, but he could only dream it would be something she would want. He kissed her forehead and waited for a response.

Mellie nuzzled into him more, she felt so safe with Andrew. It had been so long since someone had held her like this, she didn't even realize how much she had missed it.

"Mel" he whispered again. Mellie could sense he needed to tell her more, so she nodded for him to continue. He shifted so he could look into her face before continuing. "Fitz has to resign or bend to their will…But we both know he will resign for Olivia" he felt her tense at her name "which means I will be President. And Mel… I'm going to need someone by my side. I'm going to need a First Lady, I'm going to need you" he said staring into her beautiful blue eyes. Mellie blinked at him and searched his face, the thought hadn't even occurred to her.

"Divorce him Mel, he doesn't deserve you. Stand on your own. Stand by my side. I want you. I need you. I… I love you" he said and kissed her.


Let me know in the reviews if things aren't making sense, I have another chapter almost ready but I can do a "summary" of what took place between the breaks. It's in my head and I forget to put it in writing sometimes x