Sorry I did upload a new chapter last night if you got an email about it but I then deleted it because I realised it was wrong. Sorry for that! Thank you for all the follows, faves, reviews I am really excited about this story because I love Embry stories. Also check out my Kim/Jared story called Don't let me fall it's going good but I need some more love on it :D Updates will get longer but I'm trying to figure out the next part so its perfect! xxx
I just drove. I didn't know how long for, or even where I was going I just went. My foot pressed down to the floor of my dad's old ford as I kept going, speeding through town after town, ignoring the buzzing of my cell phone on the seat next to me. I just couldn't answer it, I couldn't even look at it. I just couldn't do it.
I pulled over after 10 hours of driving into the car park of a dodgy little bar where the neon open sign was flickering on and off. It wasn't exactly where I thought I would end up, nor was it far enough away from the reigns of La Push but I needed a rest from the continuous driving that had began to ache my eyes.
My hands grabbed out to the seat next to me, clutching for my phone as it began buzzing again, the screen alight with Seth's mobile number. It stopped eventually and I flicked through text after text from my mom, my brother, Billy, Charlie, Jacob. Hell even Paul had rung and text asking where I was. I wouldn't let myself ring them back though. I wouldn't go back; I wouldn't be the girl who everyone pitied. I wouldn't be the pregnant girl who was left by herself to watch the guy she was supposed to be with marrying another woman, not just any other woman, my cousin, my best fucking friend. I couldn't do it. I wasn't the girl who broke down and cried over little things but this wasn't a little thing, since it had happened all I did was cry and I turned into such a bitter person it was physically tearing at me every moment I stayed in that place.
The buzzing in my hand started again this time it was Embry ringing me, my mind flashed to the eyes I had looked at hours before, the knowing look they held, the slight pained desperation they held as they realised why I was stood where I was stood just watching. I never spoke to Embry, he was a nice kid but I wasn't close to him he just had a strange way of being able to understand me. He was one of the first people there when I phased for the first time, right after Sam that is but he had been better than Sam had, Sam freaked out which caused me to freak out but Embry just sort of calmly talked me through how to phase back. He had been there when I found of that Sam and Emily were imprinted, most of the guys were and it had been awkward as hell, no one had said a word after I realised, they just stared at me before giving one another looks that ripped at me. I felt stupid, I felt alone and stupid, stupid for falling in love as hard as I had done with Sam fucking Uley but Embry followed me when I had ran away, he phased in with me but he stayed silent, offering no comment or even snide remark. He just waited while I tore up bushes and cried and screamed internally. I heard him sticking up for me, telling the guys to back off, I heard him telling them how I wasn't just a bitter little bitch I was a girl who had been hurt and was now being treated like shit by the people supposed to be her pack brothers. He was a nice kid but even he wasn't worth staying for, he was just a guy who wasn't as big as a douche as the rest of them. I wound the window down and threw the cell out of it, it landed in a well placed puddle and the buzzing quickly stopped.
I felt better for a split second as peace filled the car but the letter that lay next to me burned at me again, I grabbed that too and ripped it out of the envelope my eyes scanning over the words that were blotched from tear marks, I had already read it but I read it again, my heart hurting at the words.
Leah,
My best friend, my cousin, my sister.
No words can tell you how sorry I am for everything that's happened. I never even in my worst moments wanted to hurt you but I know I have and I know I can never take it back. But I also know that I love Sam with everything I have. I'm being selfish, I'm being a selfish bitch Leah and I know it but I can't stop myself. I want you to be happy, I wanted you to be happy with Sam but things happen, things change. What can I say? What can I do? He's my soul mate Leah. I don't know what to do, I tried staying away, I promise you I tried but it hurts to. I hope one day you understand how it feels, how it hurts to stay away.
You said you wanted to leave, I don't want you to. I would do anything to keep you here. But I know why you feel that way, I know why you want to go and I would do I really would. What you told me the other day, it's confusing. I don't know what's going to happen but I know Sam would be there for you 100% and I wouldn't stop him. I really wouldn't. I would be there too. Everyone would Leah. You say you feel alone, you feel trapped here and I guess you are but we would be there for you.
No matter how you feel about me I still love you, I don't want you to leave, I don't want you to run away, I don't want you to go through this pregnancy alone. I want you to stay Leah. But if you need to go then go but don't go for long, come back home Leah, don't hide this, don't forget your family. I'll keep your secret, but don't burden yourself with it for so long that you get lost in the lies. We are your family Leah.
I love you no matter what Leah Clearwater.
Never forget what remains here for you.
Emily
Behind the letter lay money, a few hundred dollars that she slipped to me when she came round for the last time. I caught her slipping the letter through the door and stopped her; she came in and saw my case packed and me ready to go, ready to run. She was on her way to the bonfire, she knew I was pregnant I had told her the day I found out and we had gotten into a fight about it even then but this time she didn't want to fight, this time she came to simply give me the letter but we did fight. We fought so badly. I told her she ruined everything, I just lost it and blamed her for everything that happened. I resented her, I resented Sam, I resented the wolf bullshit and everything that little town held. It had taken away the life I had planned out, the guy I loved so much it hurt me at times, she said she wanted me to find that love that she had but I had found it. I found it in Sam way before she did but that didn't stop her, she still took him just because some supernatural shit told her so. And for that I hated her. I told her she ruined it all, told her I hated her guts while she screamed at me for being selfish and bitter. She didn't understand though, she didn't know what it was like having this huge secret and having to look at the guy who caused it while he doted on her cousin. I was in pain every single god damned day because of the secret I held. She yelled at me that I was stupid for wanting to leave but I told her it was all her fault that I felt like I needed to run, I told her she was a home wrecking whore and so she told me to just go, that she would be happier if I left and so I dragged my case to my car with her following me telling me she was sorry but now as I looked at the wad of cash I think she knew. I think she knew all along that I would leave no matter what. I guess this was her way of helping me. A few hundred dollars in replacement for the man and life I should have had. Her cruel words just helped push me out the door.
I shoved the letter back in the glove compartment and the money with it. I didn't want her money. I wanted my life back.
I glanced back up through my window, tears stinging my eyes as I took once last look in my rear-view mirror before driving further away from that place, that life, them people. I had no idea where I was going but I wasn't staying there.
I flicked the radio on, my eyes shutting as the song I knew so well came on. Run baby run by Sheryl Crow, I snorted laughter as I sung over the lyrics in my head. I was running, I had nowhere to run but I was running and I wouldn't go back. Not ever.
Double update so hit the next button for chapter three and Leah's future :D xx
