Your looks are laughable

Unphotographable

Yet you're my favourite work of art

"Hey Scu-" Mulder looked up from the pile of crop circle diagrams on his desk, attempting to greet the whirlwind of green that swept through the door.

"Scully?" He tried again, but she ignored him completely and quickly ripped open her bag, with a hunger in her eyes, as soon as her bottom touched the chair.

Before Mulder had the chance to sigh at her dedication to uncovering the truth of the Oompa Loompa appearance in Providence, Scully slapped down a heavy volume onto her desk and began devouring page after page in rapid secession.

Mulder got up from his desk and snuck up behind Scully's chair, and saw the glossy pages of the "book".

Whether it could be considered a book was, debatable, as it was at best a collection of center folds of beefcake magazines. Mulder, all other revulsions aside, was rather insulted.

So the Spooky isn't quite enough for her?

'Having fun?" Mulder whispered suggestively beside Scully's ear. Despite the rewarding response, as she shut the book with a shriek, the pleasure came with a heavy price. As she whipped her head around, the Mt. Everest on Mulder's face inevitably stood in the way.

As Mulder stumbled backwards, holding his nose, almost blinded by the pain. Sitting on the floor, Mulder was vaguely aware of the rather undignified position he's in amidst all the pain.

Scully at this moment watched with an unfair amount of amusement, at Mulder's weakened state, a rarity.

What she wouldn't give to have a camera here. With that thought, Scully fumbled in her drawers in a vain hope that she might find something there to capture this precious moment.

As Mulder recovered slightly, he spared an open teary eye that found Scully in her desperate attempt.

"You know, many have tried, but none ever succeeded in capturing the Spooky, not even in a picture." Mulder said, a little muffled behind his crush nose, but not without a hint of pride.

"Then what's that on your badge? And no, I'm not referring the nude shot you took yourself, the one that you put in on April Fools Day." Scully made the point without even looking up from her still on going search for a camera.

"Well, I let them take that didn't I?" Mulder shot back rather smugly, masking the obvious stupidity of the comment.

Scully finally looked up from her fruitless search and blew a stray strand of hair from her face. Rolling her eyes with utter disgust of the man's ego, she reluctantly turned back to her desk.

Just as Scully was closing the book up, a familiar figure caught her eyes. It took a few minutes to register in her brain, which was bombarded by a torrent of smug delight, disgust and utter shock.

"Hey Mulder, come here a sec?" Scully called, her voice completely nonchalant.

"What is it?" Mulder got up from the floor and looked over her shoulder on to the glossy pages of her book. Suddenly all blood ran from his face and a gagging noise came from deep within him.

Scully enjoyed every second of this, looking with equal interest at the book page.

"So that's where you got your inspiration for your April Fools Day photo isn't it?"

After a frantic attempt to explain the photo, Mulder finally decided it was completely in vain, to explain why he in all of his naked glory was there for all desperate and lonely women to devour, he slammed his mouth shut and settled back down at his desk.

"So Spooky finally has nothing to say, this is a day to remember after all." Scully smiled, secretly enjoying a moment of peace with Foxy.