Lily sighed as she walked through to platform 9¾, a huge smile was plastered to her face. The scarlet steam engine that is the Hogwarts Express was only a short distance away from her now. The smiling face of her father was long forgotten, and only the thoughts of her magical life filled her mind. What new things would she learn this year? Would the N.E.W.T.s be terribly hard? And then there were the very frightening thoughts about her future, like what job she would get. She had always thought that being an Auror seemed like a good idea, but Lily wasn't sure if she was cut out for something like that. Maybe she could become a waitress at some pub and just get married to a very rich man…

No, Lily would never do that. She was born to make a difference, and that's exactly what she would do.

Noticing that a few people were giving her dirty looks, Lily started walking towards the train. She was still thinking intensely about her future when none other than the famous James Potter stepped in front of her. He was grinning happily down at her, but she only glowered in return. The remembrance of how happy his letters had made her earlier appeared in her mind.

"Hi there, Lily," he said kindly. It wasn't like him to be nice, but she decided not to let it get to her, and kept on the false, angry facade. "Hello, James," she hissed.

Feeling uncomfortable at how close he had gotten, she started backing up. James only saw this as an opportunity to follow her. Soon he had her pinned against a wall. His hands were on either side of her head, trapping her there hopelessly. The other Marauders were snickering from behind him, excluding Peter. Where could he be?

There was really no point in wondering. It's not like she'd end up being their best friend, right?

"You should learn to be nicer," he joked.

The heavy trunk in Lily's hand felt more and more heavy by the second. "Just move," she warned. When he raised an eyebrow skeptically, Lily sighed. "Please?"

"Maybe in a second, Lil," he said jokingly, a huge, goofy grin on his face.

"Don't call me that!" she snapped. Perhaps she was being a bit harsh, but he was also being a prat.

After pulling his hands away, James shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "Will you at least sit with us?" he asked coolly. The hope in his eyes made a shiver go down Lily's spine. As much as she hated to admit it, he was definitely very attractive. He looked at her like a small puppy, and she couldn't help but smile in defeat. It was almost as if James had just taken a pin and popped her bubble of security... But Lily didn't mind.

With a nod, Lily looked towards the train, then towards the boys. They all turned to look at each other before scattering and climbing aboard the train. Something about the looks on their faces told her that she had confused them greatly by accepting the offer. It's not like she could tell them about how he had owled her that morning- since he didn't want her to.

Lily followed behind, and just as she got onto the train she saw a boy sitting in an almost empty compartment with only one other person; Severus. She sighed and continued after Remus. Her chest clenched painfully as Severus looked up at her with pleading eyes. Lily just kept walking, and finally made it to the compartment with the marauders. "Where's Peter?" she asked suddenly. Hopefully talking about something would keep her mind off of the greasy haired Slytherin.

Sirius shrugged and took a piece of chocolate from Remus. Once he swallowed, he turned to Lily and said: "Probably off being a coward with his new friends... Bloody assholes."

Lily had taken a seat next to James by the window. She raised an eyebrow at Sirius' response. James and Remus both seemed to tense up, so she tried to stay calm. "What, did he leave you for a less arrogant crowd?" she asked jokingly.

The only one who even cracked a smile was James. "You could say that." Despite his cheerful expression, his voice was harsh and cold. Lily couldn't believe that they were actually angry with a fellow Marauder. Then again, Lily also couldn't believe that she was sitting with them; that was a miracle in itself.

"Let's just drop it," Remus said suddenly. Lily nodded and looked out of the window as the train started moving. They started pulling out of the station, and she felt a million butterflies flutter wildly in her stomach at the thought of returning to her second home. The boys all got into a heated conversation about some of the professors but Lily didn't dare get involved. Instead she just stayed quiet and thought about everything she could, but found herself arguing with her brain. One second it would tell her to forgive Severus and be his friend; pity him. But the next moment it would be telling her that she is much better off without him. The memory of the last time she talked to him was heart-wrenchingly realistic in her mind.

"I'm perfectly fine! I don't need your help you disgusting mudblood!"

Just the remembrance of the day made her shudder. How could he have said that? I was only trying to help! Why would he be so rude? she thought bitterly. Just by thinking about it, a few tears glistened in Lily's eyes as she glared at the window. Of course it wasn't just because she was sad about it, but it made her angry. He made her angry; yes, angry. Very angry. Whenever Lily gets angry, she cries. It's not because she wants to, it just sort of… Happens.

Suddenly a gentle hand was touching her shoulder. "Lily? Are you okay?" It was James. She nodded and turned to smile at him. It wasn't real, but it would do. Lily felt like she was in a daze; a few tears still threatened to fall from her eyes. Remus and Sirius were both still talking, their voices louder than normal. "You look really pale," he told her after a moment. She wondered if he could see the tears sparkling in her eyes… Hopefully not.

Lily just shrugged and looked away. She was feeling a bit nauseous, but probably only because she was nervous about school. "I guess I'm just nervous," she told him, looking back up. There really wasn't anything bothering her except that her memories were catching up to her.

Past his glasses, James' hazel eyes looked back at her with curiosity and care. That wasn't something that a person usually saw in James Potter's eyes.

"There's no reason to be nervous." he said cheerfully, throwing his arm around her shoulders. It startled Lily quite a bit, but she didn't move away.

"Really?" she added skeptically. "What about the N.E.W.T.s?"

James' expression suddenly changed to one of surprise. "Well those aren't for a while. Besides, you're extremely smart anyway. You'll do fine." He took his arm away, sensing that she felt uncomfortable. But in reality she didn't mind it at all. Although, she couldn't stop her cheeks from turning bright red. Not wanting him to see, she looked down at her lap.

"No," she mumbled, "There's still so much to learn." She looked up at him and sighed. He had a goofy smile on his face and as usual, untidy black hair. The only thing that seemed to be different was how he acted towards her.

"And I'm sure you'll know everything within the next few weeks. Make sure you come tutor the less intelligent crowd will you?" He motioned to Remus and Sirius.

"And what do you know that they don't?" Lily raised an eyebrow and looked at him questioningly.

"I never said the crowd didn't include me!" he joked.

Lily laughed softly and nodded. "Ah, that makes sense… I'll think about it." She rolled her eyes at him and turned to look out of the window again. For the next few minutes she kept wondering what possessed her to sit with them in the first place. Although, something about them all seemed to be different. Could it possibly be maturity? Lily almost laughed aloud at the thought. Certainly not maturity… But it could be possible. They are seventeen after all. Practically adults in the wizarding world.

"Can I call you Lil now?" James asked suddenly, making Lily jump literally inches off of the seat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

With a smile she just dismissed it and looked to the boy sitting next to her. "No." Even if he was being nice, that doesn't mean he gets to call her by a nickname all of a sudden. Not even her parents called her anything special.

Lily looked out into the aisle to see a few people walking by. The peculiar thing is that one of them stopped suddenly and stared straight ahead towards the front of the train. Lily instantly recognized it as Severus. Why was he standing there? She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, looking at him strangely. James was saying something, but he sounded far away. Severus looked into the compartment suddenly and smiled subtly as he locked eyes with Lily. After a moment he kept walking and left her completely confused. Why had he just stopped? How did he know where she was sitting?

After a few more moments of staring with a confused expression, Lily noticed James trying to get her attention. She snapped out of it instantly and shook her head. "W-What? I'm sorry."

"Er, it's fine. What were you staring at?" James asked. His tone told her that he was a bit worried.

Lily looked at him and shrugged. "I don't really know," was all she had to say. With a sigh, she turned again and just stared down at her lap. Hopefully this ride would come to an end soon. Suddenly she remembered something. Lily gasped. "James! We forgot about the meeting!" she exclaimed, standing up quickly and stumbling out of the compartment. She heard James close the door behind her, but didn't turn to see if he had actually exited.

Finally reaching the front, Lily noticed that she hadn't even changed into her school robes. Shoot! she thought angrily. Hopefully they wouldn't care. She slid the compartment door open hastily and out of breath. "I'm so sorry," she huffed. They nodded and she sat. James came into the compartment right after her, and took the empty seat right across from Lily.

"Did we miss anything important?" he asked.

Once James asked his question, Lily just sat back and pretended to listen. She actually heard nothing, but when someone looked to her she would nod. Hopefully they didn't ask her or tell her something completely ludicrous.

Once the meeting was over, the train ride was almost over. They had missed the trolley lady, sadly. Lily felt her stomach growl as she walked through the aisle. James must have heard, because he chuckled. "Someone's hungry," he whispered. Shockingly, his voice was right at her ear. His warm breath gave her goose bumps as it touched her skin.

Just as they reached the compartment, Lily saw Severus smiling and talking to someone right outside the door. He didn't look particularly happy though. She had seen him much happier before. After convincing James to go in first, Lily tried to hurry in before he saw her. There was no such luck. She turned and saw him smile, followed by a wave. His eyes looked sad, but Lily ignored him and walked into the compartment. She had promised herself not to pity him.

Feeling a bit agitated, Lily grabbed her trunk off of the floor and took out her uniform. "You all best get ready as well," she said quickly as she left to enter an empty compartment. It took a little while, but she found one and entered, closing the door and the blinds behind her. Once she had her uniform on, Lily made her way hastily back to the compartment. Sadly, Severus was standing by it with his back leaning against the door. "Will you please move, Severus," she said quietly, hoping that her voice didn't give any emotion away.

"Hello, Lily," he said simply.

"Severus," she warned angrily. All he really did in return was look into her eyes before walking away; Lily didn't see the longing that the black eyes held as he looked at her.

As she entered the compartment, Lily's cheeks turned bright red. James had been just about to put his white button down shirt on when she walked in. He turned around quickly with cheeks as red as hers. "I-I can leave."

Just as Lily turned to leave, James grabbed her wrist. "It's fine," he said simply. Lily stood motionless for a few moments before turning to look at James. Sirius and Remus were snickering loudly, but she didn't care. The pink on her cheeks dimmed a bit as he let go of her wrist and pulled the shirt over his shoulders. Lily sat down where she did before and tried not to watch as he buttoned up the shirt. Once that was done he fiddled with the red and gold tie in his hands. Lily smiled and let out a little giggle as he had trouble tying it properly. "You're pathetic," she joked.

"Excuse me?" he mused turning towards her, a goofy grin on his face and his glasses lopsided. "Well if you're so great then why don't you do it?"

Lily snorted. "How did you ever tie it before?" she asked, standing up in front of him.

James shrugged and folded his arms as Lily grabbed the tie. "I think you're bluffing."

"Well how do you think I tied my own then?" she asked, motioning to her own neatly tied tie. As she tied his tie easily, she could feel James' eyes watching her. Once finished, Lily looked at her work and admired it before plopping back down into her seat. She didn't dare make eye contact with any of them. Both Sirius and Remus would laugh at her for being so naïve. He was using his famous charm on her and she had fallen for it.

"Can you tie mine?" Sirius asked jokingly, undoing his completely and hanging it loosely around his neck. It was obvious that he was making fun of both Lily and James, but Lily only shook her head. A small grin appeared on her face.

"No," she said simply.

Once she had time to think about it, she realized that James was probably the only one of them she would have done something like that for. But why? she asked herself. He had always been the most arrogant and rude one out of all of them. But something about him had changed… James was definitely being nicer. And again she asked herself the same question: Why?

James got up and walked over to Sirius. "I'll do it for you," he said coaxingly. It was almost as if he was trying to sound like a woman. Lily watched as James practically squished Sirius with his weight by trying to sit on his lap. Once that was figured out, James started fiddling with the tie. "Blimey, Lily. How do you do this?"

Sirius, Lily, and Remus all laughed simultaneously. "James, get the hell off of me!" Sirius spluttered through his fit of laughter. As he pushed James away, Remus rolled his eyes then looked at Lily with a smile.

"You are such an arse," Lily added jokingly once James had sat back down in his own seat next to her.

"I think it's working," James whispered to the other two boys. Lily started giggling, then looked out of the window. After a few more minutes, she could feel James' arm behind her shoulders. He was definitely up to something, but Lily couldn't figure out what it was that he was trying to pull.

Soon the train started slowing down, and Lily made sure she had her wand. Without noticing it, she had started tapping her feet loudly and twirling her red hair in her fingers. "Eager to get off, are you?" Remus asked suddenly. How could he tell?

"No, she's just excited that soon there'll be dark corridors to snog James in," Sirius replied. James kicked him hard in the shin and Lily felt her cheeks turn warm.

"Definitely not." Her tone was a bit annoyed and louder than usual. Hopefully they would get the point and just leave her alone.

Finally the train seemed to be stopping. Still feeling the awkward vibe in the compartment, Lily took no time in rushing into the aisle. She waved at them all and smiled at James before hurrying off of the now stopped train. Luckily Severus wasn't in her way this time, but once she got off, remorse coursed through her body. It was rude of her to just leave them all like that.

Now that she was free of them all, she tried not to feel remorseful. This was going to be a purely study filled year, and nothing more; she didn't need their nonsense. Lily nodded at a few waving students, and got onto the nearest empty carriage. To her despair she was soon accompanied by the most annoying Slytherin of all(besides Severus): Regulus Black. Luckily he sat as far away from her as possible. After him, Lily stopped paying attention to whoever else might have gotten on. She looked around at the dark and smiled. At Hogwarts, every star was visible. Hogwarts in general was beautiful at night. The many windows lit up brightly and the outline of the castle against the dark sky. The only time stars weren't visible is when the clouds covered them all. Luckily it was a clear night; it gave Lily something to look at.

The next thing that happened, Lily was not expecting. Someone tapped on her shoulder and she expected it to be Regulus for some ungodly reason, but when she turned, it was Severus. He was looking at her with wide, worried eyes. "Lily," he whispered.

"Why are you following me?" she shrieked as the carriage started to move. "Don't you have any friends of your own?" Of course he did, but she wasn't thinking about how badly he wanted to become her friend again.

"Yes," he said softly, trying not to show his disappointment.

"Then why didn't you sit with them?" Lily was inwardly fuming and tried her hardest not to just slap him right then and there. She could feel other eyes on them and assumed that it was Regulus who was staring. Her blood was slowly starting to boil as she sat there waiting for his response.

"B-Because I-"

"Spit it out!" Lily yelled, feeling the anger rise as she waited. It took a few more moments for him to finally speak, and when he did, she was caught off guard.

"I wanted to apologize, Lily." He sounded sincere, but Lily had promised herself that she would never give him friendship or pity ever again.

Lily snorted. "Don't bother," she muttered angrily. "I know what you think of me. You don't have to pretend to like me, Severus!"

"I'm not pretending!" he yelled back. This was something she hadn't heard him do in a while, and it shocked her. With wide eyes, Lily hoped that the carriage ride wouldn't last too much longer. "Will you please just forgive me? I'm sorry!"

"Save it! Once this carriage stops, if you follow me anywhere I'll be sure to tell a professor. Stay away if you know what's good for you!" Lily spat at him. Her hands were shaking with anger. How dare he come to her after two years and apologize like he hadn't just ignored her completely?

"You can't hate me all because of a little mistake, Lily!" he pleaded with her, turning more towards her so that he was facing her perfectly.

"Little mistake? Little mistake?" she hissed. "You called me a mudblood!" Lily was now on the verge of tears. She had done such a good job of keeping all of her emotions on this subject inside, but now they were all coming out.

Luckily, the carriages seemed to be slowing down and Lily couldn't wait to get off. Severus didn't need to see her crying.

"But, Lily," he whispered hopelessly. The bumpy carriage stopped suddenly and Lily stood up, stalking off and away from the carriage completely without another word.

Little did she know, Snape had watched her leave with loving, sad eyes.

As she walked to the castle, Lily wiped away the few tears that had fallen. She would not cry over something so juvenile and wrong. It wasn't right of Severus to call her that, but she had to be the mature person… The bigger person.

But is that what she was being by not accepting his apology?

She left the poor guy sitting there, practically begging for her friendship. What kind of person does that?

Lily felt more tears slide down her cheeks as she practically ran into the Great Hall. She sat down in an empty seat and wiped at her face violently.

People couldn't see her crying. A lot of people looked up to her as a strong, trustworthy person. It would just be ridiculous for her to let people see her in such a vulnerable state. Luckily, the Sorting Ceremony started and Lily could sit and sulk as she thought about her mistakes. Once the ceremony was done, Dumbledore spoke a few humorous words, and the food appeared on all of the plates. Lily suddenly didn't feel very hungry, and her eyes were red and sore.

"What's wrong, Lily?" a familiar voice asked. It was one of her friends Monica Piper. "You look upset," she added as she sat down across from her.

"I'm fine, Monica. Really, I am." Lily smiled weakly, and forced herself to look happy. If only for the sake of keeping the questions at bay. Monica is a person that really likes to keep digging deeper and deeper whenever someone is upset.

A loud cheer of guys erupted from further down the table, and Lily looked to see Peter Pettigrew's face covered in pie. It was hard not to laugh, even though it was so rude of someone to do that. It was most likely Sirius. Although they all seemed to be a bit angry with him on the train. Lily's gaze moved, and stopped on James' face. He looked at her and smiled.

Lily hadn't noticed that Monica was calling her.

"LILY!" Monica shouted. Lily came back to reality and felt her cheeks turn bright red as she looked away and down at her plate.

"Sorry," she mumbled. It was embarrassing enough having stared at James dreamily, but in front of Monica was another problem in itself.

"Merlin! Are you shitting me? YoulikeJamesPotter!" Monica shrieked. She spoke so fast that Lily really didn't understand the last part.

"What?" she asked quizzically.

Monica rolled her eyes and sighed. "You like James! James Potter!" she shrieked. Lily almost slapped her. Why would she scream that? What if someone had been listening?

"No I don't! He's insufferable!" Lily said loudly, hoping that whoever might have heard would leave it at that. She leaned in and whispered harshly, "Are you out of your mind? Don't scream things like that!"

Monica smirked evilly. "You know you like him, Lily. I saw the way you looked at him!" It seemed obvious that she wasn't going to give up easily. Lily absolutely hated when people accused her of things that just couldn't possibly be true.

Feeling even less hungry than before, Lily stood up and shook her head. "I'm just going to leave. Maybe I'll get there before the crowds." She left with that, and rushed to the Gryffindor towers. Once inside, she went straight to the dorms and found the bed with her trunk by it, pulling out her night clothes and changing. After she was ready to sleep, Lily fell down onto her bed and sighed. It wasn't like her to leave her Head Girl duties like that, but Monica would be interrogating her forever if she had stayed.

As soon as her eyes drooped shut, all of the thoughts that had been haunting her that day became present. She thought of how James looked without a shirt, how he looked when he smiled. The happiness in his eyes when she looked at him. His messy black hair; it just looked so soft and touchable. Instantly she laughed aloud at herself.

But then the bad memories filled her mind. She kept picturing the pleading look in Severus' eyes as she glared at him. How soft and apologetic his voice sounded. At least until she had gotten him angry. The sadness and remorse that burned in his eyes was the last picture she had of him in her mind. Why couldn't she just accept his apology? It's not like he had killed her mother. She felt like a terrible person.