Jax said he didn't blame her. Jenna wished she could believe that but as she sat in the kitchen staring down at the hooked rug she'd made in home economics freshman year she tried but failed to believe him. She knew he would come home from this latest dead end lead in trying to find Abel and would quietly ignore her and the baby inside her. He blamed her, Tara, himself, the club and he'd need someone to take things out on. She was the most common and unmoving target. She drank down some more coffee which she shouldn't really be drinking it was bad for the baby. She stared off into space for awhile nearly falling asleep when she heard the familiar almost purr of Jax's bike. She looked at the little neon green clock on the microwave stating it was exactly 3:22 am. He came in toeing off his boots.

"Nothing?" she asked knowing it was a stupid question

"You should be sleeping and don't sit in the dark."

"Can't sleep."

"Me either but lets try…" Jax said he grabbed her hand pulling her along behind him.

He lay curled around her in the bed.

"Jax."

"Hm…" He murmured back.

"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Come with me?"

"Yeah baby no problem."


She went to the doctor and Jax didn't bother showing. She sat in the dimly lit club on the couch fighting off her tears. That's how Chibs found her.

"Love?"

She sniffed back tears. "Yeah Chibs sorry I'll get right on that Camaro."

"I'm not here about a car and you know it Jennasis." he picked up her feet and set down dropping them in his lap.

"What'd Jackie boy do?"

"He flaked on me." she hiccupped. "Jesus I'm such a blubbering bitch…but I feel like he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you child that much I do know."

"He blames me for Abel."

"See the thing is love we'll blame anything we can not to blame the club. Because how else do we make ourselves ok with our lives. He blames everything but what deserves the blame and that's SAMCRO love. Mostly he blames himself."

" I don't want him to mistreat this child because Abel's missing."

"I know he doesn't mean to do that… you need to talk to him."

"He won't."

"Oh he will…just trust Uncle Chibs and you're Daddy on that one. I'll go fix the Camaro."

Jax rode into the lot. Jax noticed Chibs whisper something to Piney. Piney walked over to the peg board that held his keys. He tossed them to that kid Jax didn't like.

"Sunshine, take Jenny home. Tell her I'll get her car to her later."

"I don't like that guy being around my wife." he said taking off his helmet. As Piney and Chibs made their way to him.

"The way I see it you're flaking on her now. I want her protected. I trust the kid to do it you don't like it then man up and do something about it."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Means its not nice to make pregnant women cry Jackie boy."

"What?"

"Did you maybe happen to break a promise Jax?" Piney asked.

"Shit! The doctors appointment. I didn't mean to I just I forgot."

"Lass, thinks you hate her and the baby." Chibs said.

"Well that's just stupid! And how do you know she say that?"

"Yeah, found her sitting in the dark alone crying. Don't do that again Jackie boy." he started his bike revved it and took off for home. He pulled up went inside found the kid he hated eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at his kitchen table.

"Where's my wife?"

"Bedroom …" annoying kid chewed. He shrugged out of his cut and gun holster he walked back tossing the word "Leave." over his shoulder at Sunshine.

He found her curled on her side facing the wall clutching Abel's blue bunny.

"Hey my Jenna."

"Hi." she sounded teary. He pushed himself off the door frame walked to the end of the bed climbing in. he crawled over her but held his weight off her.

"I'm sorry honey I just forgot honest." he peeled strands of her hair off of face where her tears had caused them to stick to her face. He ducked down kissing the crook of her neck.

"No you didn't I know you… but I don't wanna fight and the baby's fine. For the record this is hard on me I miss Abel just like you."

"I know baby. I'm sorry I really am I don't hate you. I don't." she choked on a sob.

"Look at me Jenna." he grabbed her face forcing her to look at him.

"As much as I love you and that baby hate isn't possible. I just feel useless we can't find him and even though the other baby isn't a betrayal it feels like one…like I'm moving on without him or something."

"But its not a betrayal Jax… its just life." he curled into her.

"So, what'd the doc say?"

"The baby's healthy on track…but this has its dangers for me."

"What kind of dangers?" he asked slowly pushing up on his elbow to look at her.

"If my AD flares…blood clots…preeclampsia… strokes…heart attacks… death."

"Death? Death Jenna you could die? What the fuck! No, no we're not doing this its not worth that!"

"It is to me Jackson…"

"Why? I don't understand Jenna what's the point of being a mother if you're not around to be one… I won't become Opie I won't do that I won't walk around only half alive…"

"Because its me and you wrapped into one person and I finally have the life I want with you. I want you Abel and this baby I want that more than anything there is nothing saying any of those complications will happen its just a slim possibility."

"Promise me you aren't going anywhere."

"Jax I promise I'm not going anywhere except maybe to the bathroom."

"That's not funny…"

"I know tell me about it! You didn't throw up captain crunch this morning."

"Was it worse than the time you got drunk at Tig's Christmas party and threw up egg nog."

"Way worse and whoever told Tig to put ever clear in the egg nog still deserves to be shot." he laughed

"So, how do we keep you alive?"

"Bed rest …minimal stress which will be impossible and when giving birth pain response control."

"Tara will watch over you along with your other doctor."

"What?"

"I trust her Jenna. I'd trust her with you're life…or I guess I already do."

"But you forget she only tolerates me."

"This isn't up for discussion."

"Fine whatever."

"Jaxy…will you make me a peanut butter and banana sandwich…"

"I will if pretty boy isn't in our kitchen be right back."


Jenna sat in the parking lot of St. Thomas. She heard a horde of bikes . Tig, Clay, Piney, Jax, Chibs, and Opie all got off their bikes.

"We're all here to show support a united front." Opie stated.

Jenna laughed. "You brought the whole club to my doctors appointment."

Jax leaned down kissing her. "You are pretty."

"You been drinkin'?" she asked.

"He's trying to butter you up because we may have to go to Ireland to get Abel." Tig said.

"Anything to get him back…well lets go."

Tara laughed as the entire club filed into the room. "When Jax makes up he does it in spades. One of you help her onto the table please."

Opie moved to pick her up at the same time as Jax. "Sorry habit." he said.

"Its alright man, heavy lifting its in the brotherly job description right?"

"Oh no you just did not!" Jenna smiled playfully swatting him.

"What?"

"You kinda just called your pregnant wife fat." Tara pointed out as Jax sat Jenna on the table.

Jenna laid back on the table. Tara began fixing the machine to her liking.

"This might be a little cold…" She squirted the gel on. "Piney could you get the lights? Thanks."

"And there is Baby Teller… you feelin' ok Jen?"

"Yeah a little tired…"

"Where? I don't see anything? That little black dot?" Tig asked.

"That's the heart Tig see it beating? Here you guys can listen." soon the loud beat of the baby's heart filled the room. Jax squeezed her hand and sniffed clearing his throat. "You ok?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, fine…its fast…."

"Its supposed to be…but its in the range for it to be a girl but I can't say for sure yet." Tara told them.

"Ha, told ya so." Jenna teased as Piney bent to kiss her forehead.


They thought Cameron had popped up yet again with Abel so they had gone to check it out. They had Piney and Tara stay with Jenna. Piney sat in the king sized bed of the guest bedroom watching "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" on The Food Network. Jenna transferred on to the bed she lay across Piney's lap on her belly.

"Tickle my back Daddy?" wordlessly he began running his finger tips up and down her back. She turned her head so she could see the tv. "this show always makes me hungry…"

Tara intended to go check on Jenna but upon poking her head in she saw she was in good hands with Piney and was a little jealous of the silent closeness the two shared she never had that with her parents.

Later after they had lost Cameron again. That's how Jax found his wife asleep in Piney's lap. Piney asleep with his glasses on and Harley Magazine open on his chest. He turned off the tv which was showing an infomercial for the Magic Bullet Blender. He tried to figure out the best way to move Jenna without waking either of them.

He tried to shift her and woke Piney.

"Careful took her forever to fall asleep…." He helped Jax gather her up into his arms.

"She's like a five foot seven rag doll…" Jax remarked smiling. Jax reached the door. "Jax, you'll find him. Miracles do happen she came home."


AN: Ok so I got requests for an update this is all I can give y'all for now until I know where Kurt Sutter will take things! Once again I own nothing but Jenna hope you liked it please review! -Meg