Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note, but we do own Fred the Fish.

Episode 2

Lights flicker as screaming fans bring the dead auditorium to life. 9 shadowed figures stand chained together at the back of the stage while 2 closer figures are suddenly revealed.

Everyone: -with some grumbling- Welcome back to THE SHOW WITH NO NAME!

Chara: Thank you for all of your participation. We have received 4 letters concerning the Death Note cast. We would like to make something clear…

Jocelyn: It appears that some of our readers did not fully understand what this show is about. Since it has no name I can't really blame them….anyway. We will both give you an example of either fan or hate mail with QUESTIONS. Now the fan or hate mail can be for any one of the cast members and the questions you ask can either refer to the character you decided to write to or to any other character. Please, please, please add questions to your letters. That way the characters can reply and answer any questions you might have for them. Whether it concerns yaoi, other pairings, personal opinions, or anything else (including randomness up to an extent where we can understand what you are talking about).

Chara: Ok, so here is an example of HATE mail,

Dear Light,

You're a pathetic loser and I hate your guts. You are such a wimp and I'm happy you died (bet you didn't know you died yet ha-ha). By the way are you gay? And if you are which of the cast members would you sleep with?

Hate you forever,

-insert name here-

Ok, now an example of FAN mail.

Dear Matt,

I love you, you're awesome! Where did you get those goggles? You were way too cool to die!!! It made me cry! Wait….did you know you died? Oops, well hang in there.

Love,

-insert name here- cough-Jocelyn-cough.

Jocelyn: Yes, I would probably write fan mail to Matt if I didn't host this show…anyway. So you get the idea now. And yes we still have a performance for you….NOW ON WITH THE SHOW!

Lights shut off momentarily.

Light: What happened? WAHHH! I'M SCARED!

Mello: Haha! You're scared of the dark, Light? Man, you are a wimp.

Light: Shut up! That was Matsuda.

Matsuda: I'm a ghost! BOO!

Mello: Omg, I'm surrounded by morons….

Lights flash back on. There are nine chairs lined up in the middle of the stage. The cast members are all sitting. Two chairs are faced sideways at the front of the stage. One chair is opposite to them. Our two hosts are sitting in the chairs up front and the chair opposite them is vacant.

Chara: Alright, now our first victim –cough cough- I mean participant is none other than L!!

Jocelyn: Come on up, L.

L looks up from stuffing his face full of cookies and reluctantly walks over to the empty seat. He crouches down into his usual manner of sitting and looks up at the hosts attentively.

Jocelyn: Ok, you have one question and three fan mail!

Audience cheers.

Light: -scoffs- Why does L get all the attention? I'm the main character! OW!

Takada reaches over and punches Light in the arm.

Chara: Anywho…here is the question.

"Ooh I want to ask L about the LightxL pairing! Does he really feel for Light?! Fanservice!" From: Sans Amoure AKA S.A

L: -wide eyes- -blinks- Well, I do have certain feelings for Light-kun, but-

Light: So that's why you chained us up together! I knew there was a reason for it you gay bastard!

Misa: -stands up and points at L- Pervert!

Chara: -throws dead squirrel at Light and Misa- Shut up! You're the gay one, Light!

Everyone: Ooooh.

Jocelyn: Chara, where do you get all these dead animals?

Chara: Some things are better left unsaid.

Takada: Hey, Misa. How does it feel to know that your fiancé is gay? –smirks-

Misa: He is not gay! He loves Misa-Misa! Don't you Light?

Light: Um…..

Mello: Hah! That proves it! They're both gay! Good god!

Light: ARG! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

-cricket cricket-

L: Well as I was saying…I think of Light-kun as a friend-

Matsuda: What do you mean by friend? Heeheehee.

Mello: You are such a girl…

Near: No more than you Mello.

Everyone: Oooh.

Jocelyn: Ok! Let's let L finish.

L: Thank you Jocelyn-san. I think of him as a friend, he is my first friend, so in that sense he's special to me.

Mikami: I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! –starts having nervous break-down- I ALWAYS WANTED A FRIEND! –sobs- SOMEONE TO TALK TO WHEN I'M SAD AND LONELY!

Fred the Fish pops up behind Mikami.

Fred: I'll be your friend.

Mikami: -turns around and screams like a girl- -starts hyperventilating- AHH! FISH! TALKING FISH!

Fred: My name is Fred. How are you today, Mikami?

Mikami: AHH! FRED! FISH! FISHY FRED!

Fred quickly disappears before anyone notices he was there to begin with.

Mello: WTF?! Who the hell are you talking to, Mikami?

A small beeping noise is heard.

Matt: NOOOO! GAME OVER?! –glares at Mikami- Dammit! You made me lose my concentration! I was on the last level too!

Mikami: -stops crying-

Takada: Thank god.

Mikami: -starts sobbing uncontrollably-

Everyone: Oo

L: I have no sexual feelings for Light-kun. He is not my type.

Matsuda: Am I your type?

Everyone: Oo

Jocelyn: No comment.

Chara: Anywho….thank you L for your explanation. Now we will read everyone's fan and hate mail out loud. Since there are no more questions –sobs- we will have to wait till next time to bring someone else up for an interrogation.

Jocelyn: Yes, interrogating is fun…

Chara: Ok, here we go,

"Fan mail for Mello! Go Mello! Who! I'm a bit…energetic right now. 0o….Mello!! Who!"

From: Mez the revengeful.

Mello: Hell ya! Take that Near!

Near: -rolls eyes-

Jocelyn drags chalkboard out with characters names on a grid. There are two rows, one smiley face, one frowny face (fan and hate mail). Tallies one smiley for L and one smiley for Mello.

Jocelyn: We also have some hate mail for Light!

Light: WHAT?

Chara: Haha you heard her!

Jocelyn: And some fan mail included.

"Bo Light! Fan fan fan mail for Near & L! Wot who!"

From: 3v07

Matsuda: Does that mean fan mail for NearxL pairing?

Near: L's not my type.

Mello: You're sick Matsuda. You need professional help.

Matsuda: Me? Take a look at him! –points to Mikami-

Mikami: -rocking back and forth in chair- THE FISHIES ARE COMING! THE FISHIES ARE COMING!

Mello: Good point.

Both Jocelyn and Chara: Our last fan mail for L!

"L…L!"

From: Jedi Master With A Pen

Chara adds two more tallies for L under smiley and one smiley for Near. She then adds one frowny for Light.

Jocelyn: Well we have L in the lead with 3 fan mails followed by Near and Mello with one each. Light is losing with one hate mail.

Light: BUT I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER! I'M GOD!

Matt: Stop throwing a fit, man. You're making me lose my concentration. –turns back to PSP-

Chara: Well, that's the end of the show! Please add questions to your fan or hate mail! And tune in next time on…

Everyone: THE SHOW WITH NO NAME!

Mikami: FRED!

Mello: Fred's out to get you.

Mikami: NOOO! NOT FRED!

-silence-

Jocelyn: Well that killed it….

Chara: -throws dead rabbit at Mikami-

Everyone: (yes once again) THE SHOW WITH NO NAME!

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Thanks for tuning in, and remember to ask questions with your fan or hate mail.