Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Hyrule Version - Episode 2

Written by Austin Hale -

KG: And we're back! Oh don't worry about Skullkid, he'll be back later. He left to take his ritalin! So we'll have Link take his place because he… um… eh… yeah!

Link: Hooray! I'm the contestant! Where'd we leave off? I'm on fire! I could answer ANYTHING right now! HURRY!!

KG: Okay, okay, Question 5 for $8000, Where did-

L: B, Kokiri Forest!

KG: eh- wow you're good. A little too good. Um… -to executive off stage- Is skullkid done yet?

Executive: Nope. Not yet. He's trying to talk to his father with a cell phone!

KG: Dang it! We're gonna lose a million rupees to a freaking jack smack!

L: Don't be stealin' Skullkid's words!

KG: Sorry. Um… I'm trying to waste time so that Skullkid can play not you so here is the next question, question 6, for $16,000. Whaaaaaaaat…. diiiiiiiiiiiiiid.. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

SK: -in background- YOU CAN'T GROUND ME, I QUIT!!! -slam- -skullkid comes walking into stage-

KG: Thank Farore, you're back!

SK: KG, you truly are the biggest smack of all classical jacks. Next question please.

L: Aww man… -leaves-

KG: OK, this one is easy. Is my name Keapora Gaebora? A: Yes B: No C: um.. maybe or D: I don't know you well enough.

SK: D, and I don't want to hear what you said again.

KG: HAHA, I can see that you're being serious now that you took your medicine.

SK: What medicine? -to Link, whispering- Do you think he's been smoking something?

L: Probably the cheap stuff, but you never know with him. -shrugs-

KG: Ok, Question 8... What is-

SK: You skipped 7!

KG: I'm trying to hurry so I can go home and smo- I mean do dru- I mean sniff, something! Yeah that's it!

SK: Oh ok.

KG: What is the difference between Ganondorf and a bucket of crap? A: nothing B: everything C: the bucket or D: Me

SK: I'll say D: You

KG: No, it's "D: me", not "you"

SK: That's what I said. D: you!

KG: AAARGH!! Whatever! Yes, ok? You're right! Question 9. Who or what made the scratch marks on the tree above Lake Hylia? Is it A: Sheik B: Morpha C: Ganon or D: since there are three marks, each made one?

SK: But I did them!! I DID IT!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! STOP MAKING UP STUFF YOU JACK SMACK! I automatically get that one right. Thanks, jacky!

KG: Whatever. AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, QUESTION 10 FOR $1,0000000000

SK: Too many 0s

KG: Fine. $1,000,000. HAPPY?!

SK: Um… um… ……um… I… um… well… um…

KG: SHUT UP!! THE QUESTION IS WHAT IS LINK'S LAST NAME? Is it A: Martinez B: Harkinian C: Jacksmack or D: None of the above?

SK: D.

KG: I'm sorry you lost. BUT-- there is a bonus round! What are Zelda and Ganondorf's last names? You can bet on the money you want to win. How much will it be?

SK: Ok, um… negative $999,999,999,999,999

KG: Good choice. The choices are; A: Harkinian and Dragmire B: Jack and Smack C: Gonzales and Dragmire or D: Paco el Sergio Minito Taco Bello Enquentros Estrada?

SK: I'll use my "ask the audience".

KG: OK. Audience, pick up your thingies and put your vote.

- 5 families put votes -

KG: OK. The results are; A: 20 B: 20 C: 20 or D: 20 . That must suck.

SK: I'll guess. Um… B.

KG: I'm sorry. You lost. Looks like you lose negative $999,999,999,999. Wait a second, that means we give you money! CURSE YOU, YOU ROTTEN SKULLKID!! But that's too bad for you! You don't have a big enough wallet! So we're donating it to a non-profit organization, the Indigo-Go's! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

SK: Argh! You rat with wings!!!

KG: OH!! I've never been so insulted in all my life!! I am NOT a dog!

SK: Right, you're worse than a dog! You're a human!

KG: You take that back!

SK: HUMAN!

KG: That's it, guards, get him outta here, I've seen enough of his face, or lack thereof…

SK: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! (Pulls out dull deku stick and tries to stab self… fails miserably) (the guards seize him)

KG: Well, I think we've all had enough. (Looks out at audience… only 2 families remain… sigh) Well this is lame. I'm out. Peace ya'll.

THE END!!!