A/N: This should have been mentioned in the first chapter, but this story takes its title (and its chapter titles) from the song of the same name from the musical Chicago. Regarding Kakashi and Sakura's mission names, Hara Setsuko was a real Japanese golden age actress who really was known as "The Eternal Virgin", and Momo means "peach".

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Sakura sighed and swirled the ice in her drink for what felt like the hundredth time, considering the technicolor concoction before her. It had been fifteen minutes since she and Kakashi had parted ways outside of the drag club, during which time she'd gone inside, picked a stool at the bar that would allow her to survey the area, and ordered a drink. She'd asked for something fruity and nonalcoholic, and the rainbow-draped drag queen behind the bar seemed to take it as a personal challenge, taking a full five minutes to create something that seemed like a cross between a smoothie and one of those drinks you serve in a pineapple. She was glad for the straw, because the rim of the glass was so crowded with fruit garnish and little paper umbrellas that you could barely see it. All in all, it was a pretty loud drink—but she was in a pretty loud place.

Turning on her stool at the bar, Sakura surveyed the rest of the club. It was lit with strobing colored lights, streaks of magenta and turquoise hanging in the smoky air as the deep thump of bass issued from hidden speakers. The main feature was the stage, broad at the back with a narrow catwalk that jutted out into a small sea of chairs and tables. It was about forty-five minutes before the first show began, so the other customers who had come early milled about, laughing and drinking and talking with the handful of drag queens who roamed the club.

None of that was of any interest to Sakura, though. What was interesting were the two doors on either side of the stage. The door on the left opened and closed frequently as various drag queens walked in and out and appeared to lead to a backstage area. The door on the right, however, stayed closed—and Sakura would bet her right arm that the man who stood in front of it was a missing nin. A very dangerous-looking one whose chakra she could feel from where she sat. How the hell had a little rinky-dink club like this managed to afford such a high-level ninja?

That was what they were there to find out. They'd been hired by a former headliner of the club who'd been kicked out when she started snooping around as to why the owner was so flush with money. For her own reasons—Sakura assumed those had something to do with wanting the club for herself—she'd used her own funds to hire shinobi to get to the bottom of things.

Sakura had to hold back a relieved smile as she saw Kakashi walk out of the door to the left of the stage. She hadn't seen him since they'd parted on the rooftops outside of the club; from there, she'd entered the club on her own as a patron, while Kakashi had gone to enter from the staff entrance. Since it had been a quarter hour since then, she assumed he'd completed a cursory inspection of the backstage area.

Currently, he was walking arm-in-arm with a very tall queen who wore a huge wig of glossy brunette hair. They were both chatting loudly with each other and the patrons that they passed, their laughter ringing loudly over the music. Sakura suppressed a smile; the bawdy laughter that came out of Kakashi now was so different from the dulcet little giggles he made when he read Icha Icha, or the lower, velvet laugh that came out rarely when something really amused him. Sakura straightened in her seat as the loud pair approached the bar and, therefore, her.

"Well put me in pigtails and spank me silly, do you have pink hair?" The queen who held Kakashi's arm yanked on it, pulling him closer to stage-whisper: "Do you think the carpet matches the drapes, Setsuko?"

Kakashi—who had chosen the name Setsuko, apparently—raised one long-fingered hand and tittered behind it. "You're so rude. Be nice. I like her. She looks like a flower," Kakashi purred, sidling up beside Sakura. He reached up and tweaked a strand of her hair. "Besides, this hair is too beautiful to be anything but natural." Kakashi's eyes were twinkling at her, and she couldn't stop the heat that rose to her face as he said in a slightly softer voice, "What's your name, gorgeous?"

"Momo," she said with a smile that was shyer than she'd intended—he was just so close.

"Well of course it is, my little peach," Kakashi cooed as he tweaked her chin, and Sakura couldn't hold in a grin. "I've decided to keep this one, you can go away now," he continued imperiously, waving the other queen off, his sparkly false nails glinting in the light. After a few loud huffs, some eye rolls, and a dramatic "Well, I never", Kakashi's fellow queen got distracted by another patron and loudly called out a greeting as she moved away from them.

"Momo?" Kakashi murmured, his lips twitching.

"Setsuko?" she countered. "Like the actress?" Sakura was really grinning now. Hara Setsuko was a very innocent-looking actress who was known as 'The Eternal Virgin'.

"She has an air of purity, just like me," Kakashi sniffed.

Sakura didn't bother to hide her laugh—after all, she was a patron who was supposed to be having fun. Kakashi joined her, again using that boisterous laugh that would sound ridiculous to anyone who actually knew him but seemed to fit 'Setsuko' perfectly. He leaned closer to her, and her breath caught in her throat. He gave her what she really hoped was not a knowing look before he murmured, "Second nin at the back door. He was suspicious that I didn't get dressed here." Sakura hid a frown. Hiring two missing nin was not only extraordinarily expensive for such a small club, it was also just unnecessary. What were they hiding?

"Oh, stop it! You are so bad!" Sakura squealed, slapping his shoulder as if he'd just whispered something salacious to her. She was slightly relieved when he leaned back with the motion, because underneath the smell of makeup and fake hair, she could smell a masculine scent that was way too distracting.

"I need a distraction," he said, still quietly enough so that only she could hear. He paused for a moment, and an apologetic look briefly crossed his face before he loudly proclaimed, "Like I could ever resist flirting with a real Konoha kunoichi!"

Holding in the death glare she most desperately wanted to skewer him with, Sakura giggled and playfully pushed him again, although maybe a little harder than the last time. She didn't miss the dangerous-looking nin move away from the door and toward them, having obviously heard what Kakashi said. As Kakashi babbled away about how impressive kunoichi were, Sakura watched the nin speak to another queen, who then disappeared behind the door to the left. Sakura assumed that he was summoning the other missing nin who was posted at the rear door and inwardly sighed before brightly saying, "Well if I'm so impressive, can I get a kiss?" and pointing to her cheek.

As Kakashi flamboyantly grabbed her and pulled her close, she growled softly into his ear, "I hate you. You'd better be fast." The sound of his quiet, low chuckle sent a shiver down her spine. She knew it—he really was enjoying this.

Kakashi laid a loud smooch on her cheek and was starting to crow about how soft her skin was when the hired nin loudly cleared his throat behind him. Popping up as if he were surprised, Kakashi turned—no, twirled—and scolded, "Darling, you scared me! I'm going to have to put a bell on you!"

The nin barely spared a glance toward Kakashi before he bit out, "Leave us. I want to talk to the kunoichi," the sneer that crossed his face insinuating that he probably didn't think much of her ability to fight. The way his eyes traveled over her body did suggest, however, that he thought she would be good for other things.

Sakura smiled. That suited her just fine. Kakashi, meanwhile, was pouting and sulking about "hulking goons who steal all the pretty pink-haired girls" as he slinked away... this time, toward the door to the right of the stage.

When the nin started to watch the grumbling Kakashi walk away, frowning at his tone, Sakura distracted him by leaning forward and sliding her hand into his. He jerked his head back toward her, blinking as his eyes immediately honed in on her cleavage—perfect. He was going to be easy to manipulate. Sakura gave him her best smile. "Well, now you've got me all to yourself… I'm Momo."

The man put his other hand on the bar, drawing himself close to her, having at least temporarily forgotten that he was supposed to be suspicious. Sakura fought the urge to lean back and swallowed a sigh, silently promising herself that she'd make Kakashi wear those heels all the way home if he wasn't back before this idiot tried to put his hands on her.