Posted: 21 October, 2009
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story that is recognisable from Doctor Who in its many forms. Everything else however (eg. story plot, original characters, etc.) stems from my own imagination and belongs to me. No copyright infringement is intended and I am not profiting financially from this story in any way.
The End of It All
Rose lay on her bed, curled to one side with her pillow hugged tight to her chest and dried tear tracks glistening on her cheeks. Sadly this was not an unusual position for the young woman – not since 'The Incident'.
At first things had been as she expected. Their first adventure after The Incident had been a chaotic contradiction of emotions. On one hand there was the excitement, the happiness, the rush and the thrill that she and the Doctor's trips always brought. On the other hand, there had been countless embarrassed blushes, and far more moments of intense awkwardness than she cared to count. By the time they tumbled back into the TARDIS however, she could feel things settling some, and their comfort level with one another reasserting itself. In fact, if she read some of those looks correctly – all shy, gentle and tender – they were going to get through this to be even closer than before. It was exactly what she had been hoping for.
Everything changed however, their second trip out after the incident. At first everything had seemed normal – or rather the new normal – but then the Doctor had started flirting, and hadn't stopped. Anything beautiful and female he made eyes at, as though oblivious to her bewilderment and hurt. And then it had escalated. One day on an alien planet, he had disappeared. She finally located him a few hours later, not embroiled in trouble as she'd expected, but rather talking with a woman; a very pretty one at that.
Talia, as the Doctor had introduced her as, with a somewhat giddy look that caused a stab of pain to Rose's chest, was his new friend. Moreover, he had told the woman about their travelling and she had agreed to come along. While Rose had reeled at the news, the Time Lord had babbled on about their new ship-mate. By the time they reached the TARDIS, she knew far more about Talia than she wanted to. Not only she beautiful – tall slender, graceful, dark skinned, ebony haired, blue eyed – she was also rich, politically and socially important, and most crucially, extensively educated. It seemed like Talia was her opposite in every way, and all the better for it.
Time passed, and adventures were had, and Rose watched as gradually the Doctor grew more and more infatuated with the new companion. He also seemed to withdraw from her, till he was treating her as little more than an acquaintance, rather than the best friend he used to claim her to be. And it hurt. It hurt so very much. But she loved the Doctor – was devoted to him – and so she stayed, waiting for him to come to his senses.
The final straw had come not more than ten minutes ago. She had wandered into the control room searching for the resident Time Lord, and had found him. Oh, had she ever found him. Unfortunately, he was not alone. She stifled a sob. The Doctor hadn't noticed her presence, before she retreated. This was due to the fact that he was otherwise occupied.
Every time she closed her eyes images flashed as though seared on her eyelids. The Doctor and Talia, pressed close; his hands threaded through her long, dark hair; his lips pressed to hers, then trailing down her jaw and neck, as she threw her head back in passion; the way his body thrust into hers as she sat, skirt hiked up, on the TARDIS jump seat; his eyes on her, awe-filled and worshipful; her lips uttering words of love and him… him speaking the same.
She gasped, curling tighter around her pillow, trying to ease the pain that stabbed at her chest. Tears fell anew and she gasped and sobbed. And then it was all to much and she could barely breath. Half blind form tears she stumbled to her attached bathroom and promptly threw up.
Pressing the flush she climbed to her feet, propped herself at the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared bleakly at her puffy eyed face.
"He said it back," she whispered. "He said he loved her."
She bit her lip and curled forward, resting elbows on the sink and head in hands. That was the part that hurt the most. His words. Because as much of a blur as their night on the glitter flowered planet was for the most part, some moments were vividly clear. And one of those moments was between couplings, where she leaned up to whisper in his ear, those three words: "I love you". And he had looked at her, just looked at her, and said nothing back. And then hands had stared wandering and they were soon lost in each other again.
So when she had heard him half-groan, half-whisper those words to the perfect Talia just a short time ago, it had felt like her heart was breaking and the world was crashing down. Because even on that alien planet, with all inhibitions stripped bare, during a long night of pleasure, those words had never even come close to passing the Doctor's lips in relation to her.
Leaning back she turned on the tap with shaking hands, then cupped them under the faucet and splashed her face, before drying it on the handtowel. She looked up at the mirror once more, numbness washing over her as she observed how little difference her actions had made to her appearance. She stared for a long moment, an inevitable decision coalescing in her mind. And it broke her heart again, but there was no choice. She couldn't stay here; not with things the way they were.
A few hours later, and with the help of some futuristic makeup – provided by the TARDIS with a comforting hum – Rose felt confident that evidence of her suffering was concealed. Her bags were packed, and she was ready to face the Doctor again.
As she stepped into the console room, leaving her bags in the corridor, she bit her lip against tears to see the Time Lord curled up with Talia on the jump seat. The jump seat where not more than a few hours ago the pair had been making love. She took a shaky breath. She had to at least try.
"Doctor," she said, and he looked up at her distractedly.
"Oh, hello Rose. What are you doing here?"
"Could I talk to you privately?"
"Surely Rose, anything you have to say you may say before me also," Talia asked in her oh-so-cultured tones, and the Doctor nodded his head rapidly, obediently.
"Of course it can sweetheart," he agreed and Rose flinched slightly at the endearment. "What was it you wanted Rose?"
She wavered, really not wanting to do this with her present. But then she gathered her courage. Was she a Tyler woman or not? Fine, with an audeience it was then.
"The thing is Doctor, I fancy you," she said, deciding to be blunt, and he merely blinked in mild surprise. "I know; I'm so stupid. But I thought maybe, after the incident in the flower field, that things might be different between us," she explained and bit her lip at the pity on Talia's face and forged on. "Maybe I'm an idiot. A silly little shop girl, with ridiculously foolish, romantic notions." Not a sophisticated, educated woman like Talia, remained unsaid. "And I know you and her are together now. So I… I can't stay here. Because I more than fancy you, really. I'm head over heels, to be truthful. Stupid ape that I am I had to go and fall I love with you."
She stopped abruptly, unsure what else to say. And then he was filling the silence. Awkward platitudes; words like "flattered, really", and "taken by surprise", and her resolve to go with some dignity broke.
The next thing Rose knew she was begging him. Pleading for him to tell her he loves her too, even a little bit. She was ashamed of herself for doing it but as she was explaining, if he could give her that small thing she would stay. And she hated herself for that fact.
"Oh, your poor child," Talia said pityingly.
She tried to ignore her, focussing instead on the Doctor. But he just apologised, not even moving from his new lover's embrace as he shook his head.
"I'm sorry," he said, expression sympathetic. "So sorry Rose. But I just don't feel that way for you."
And that was that. Suddenly feeling eerily calm as her emotions shut down, she nodded slowly.
"Then I think Doctor," she said plainly, "that I would like to be taken home."
He didn't object or try to convince her otherwise. The only words he spoke were "have you packed your stuff?" as he stepped up to the console and began piloting the TARDIS. She ship gave a mournful wail, as though aware of events and not happy with them. The Doctor either didn't hear or didn't care, merely hitting the dematerialisation button. And then they landed.
Rose went back to pick up her bags from the corridor and slung them over her shoulder. When she turned around again, the Doctor and Talia were entwined on the jump seat once more. Without a word she walked past them and out the front doors.
"Goodbye Rose," were his final words, as she shut them behind herself.
For a moment she paused, palm resting against the blue painted wood, as the TARDIS seemed to cry out for her not to go. Well she was a telepathic ship after all. Unsure whether the time-ship would hear, Rose sent out thoughts of 'love/goodbye/missyouboth/lookafterhim'. Then she turned around, hitched her bags higher on her shoulder, and walked away, not looking back.
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