Tarnished Gosling
Chapter 2 - Shattered Dreams

BPOV

What the hell is that annoying beeping noise and why won't it stop? I
have been hearing it constantly for God knows how long but I can't
bring myself to really care or open my eyes to find out. I'm scared to
open my eyes, afraid of what I may see or more so who I may see. I
don't want to see...him. I don't want to remember everything he did to
me. I had been lucid enough to know that by some miracle I had been
saved from him (at least for the time being) and brought to the
hospital. How long have I been here? I do not know. It could be
hours, days, weeks. I only know that for now...I'm safe...until sleep
overtakes me and I'm with him again.

"Miss Swan? Can you hear me?"

I feel the faint movement of the bed shifting as someone sits down. I
keep my eyes shut, hoping they will go away. Of course..I'm never that
lucky.

"Miss Swan, if you can hear me open your eyes or wiggle a finger."

Internally I groan, praying that if I give them what they want they
will leave me alone. So I slowly open my eyes, blinking rapidly
against the harshness of the light flooding the room.

"There you are." A woman with Carmel color shoulder length hair is
perched at the foot of the bed smiling at me.

"I'm Dr. Esme Cullen; I've been overseeing your case since you were
brought into the Emergency Room."

"How lon-" I cough and wince at the pain that seems to radiate from
every part of my body. "How long have I been here?"

"Three days dear. It was touch and go there for awhile, you lost quite
a bit of blood and we had to give you four pints to help stabilize you.
You have been in and out of consciousness since you were brought in.
Can you tell me about what happened Miss Swan?"

"Bella"

"Pardon?"

"Please call me Bella"

"Well Bella" Dr. Cullen gingerly pats my leg and smiles down at me.
"You have quite a few injuries. Would you like to talk about what
happened?"

Ignoring her question I ask one of my own instead. I'm not ready to
relive that night with anyone least of all a doctor whom is only paid to
care. No one else ever cared why should she?

"What are my injuries?"

She mindlessly flips through my chart and reads off my injuries like a
grocery list. "Three broken ribs, one collapsed lung, gash on the
right forearm, concussion, extensive bruising and other minor
contusions...and the rape."

I nod and look towards the window silently willing the tears not to
fall. I take a deep breath as I try to control my emotions, wincing as
the pain throbs in my chest...oh right, collapsed lung good job Bella
put more stress on your body. Which doesn't go unnoticed?

"Bella, I'm going write up an order and have the nurse bring you in
some medication to help with the pain so you can rest." She stands and
moves towards the door. "I'm not finished talking to you about this,
but you need to rest and regain some strength..I'll be back in to see
you in the morning Bella."

Several minutes later, a nurse comes in and administers the pain
medication. Leaving my body feeling slightly numb and my mind as
though it's gently floating on a cloud. Not at all an unpleasant
feeling.

My head slowly lulls back against the pillow as sleep overtakes me.
The incessant beeping noise that I've been hearing for three days or so
Dr. Cullen tells me, slowly begins to fade until it completely
disappears...

**The apartment is dark as I walk in the front door and lay my keys and
purse on the table. I look around, wondering why all the curtains are
drawn in the middle of the day drowning the living room in darkness
when something out of the corner of my eye catches my attention.
He's here...sitting in the recliner in the far corner hunched over with
his forearms resting on his knees and a almost empty bottle of Jack
dangling from his hand. I stand motionless as he slowly looks up at me
through hooded eyes...evil, pure evil is the only words to describe that
look.

"Bella...what the fuck is this?" He says slowly, accentuating each
order as though he's speaking to a small child. I look to his other
hand noticing the small white stick between his fingers. Oh God
no...How did he find it? I hid it! I hid it well! I should have
left! The moment I found out I should have ran far away from
him...some place safe where he would never find me...where he would
never find US.

I snap out of my internal rambling and notice that he's slowly walking
towards me. I move to take a step back but there's nowhere to go. My
back is flush against the wall. I stand there, trembling willing my
body to move, to fight back, to scream! Within a flash, I feel my head
being slammed against the wall as he hovers in front of me mere inches
from my face. The smell of stale liquor and pot on his breath is
nauseating as I try to control my breathing and not go into a full on
panic attack.

The feeling of his large hand snaking around my neck with increasing
pressure scares the shit out of me. I kick my legs wildly hoping to
connect to his body somehow. It's useless, that just further enrages
him as he sneers at me.

"I said...This?" His breath, hot against my ear making
my skin crawl.

"A pr-pregnancy test"

"YOU FUCKING WHORE!" he roars and slams my head into the wall again.

My body slumps to the floor as I fight to stay conscious. Don't fall
asleep Bella, don't fall asleep Bella. I repeat to myself over and
over again. Knowing if I do his face will surely be the last thing I
see as I take my last breath.

He straddles my hips with his feet and leans over me. "You lied! You,
stupid fucking bitch! You told me you were on the pill! You really
think I'd have a kid with the likes of you? You're worthless, a
nobody, the ugly duckling that no one else would ever want and this is
what you do to me? I took pity on your sorry ass! No one else will
ever want you..hell even I don't want you, you're just a useless waste
of space! Good for cooking my meals and doing my laundry and when I'm
really hard up...a quick fuck!"

"Please.." I whisper as he leers at me.

"Please what bitch?" He kicks my hard in my side.

"Please don't kill me" I cry.

"Oh Swan..When I'm through with you...you're going to wish you were
dead." I look up at him as tears stream down my face, a faint clicking
sound and a flash of metal comes into view as he whips a switch blade
out of his back pocket.

I try to move, willing my hands and feet to carry me away from here.
Damn it fight or flight Bella fight or flight! It feels as if my body
is made of lead. Finally, I move my legs and begin to scoot across the
floor when his hand grabs hold of my wrist jerking me back.

"You will not get away from me Bella" Taking his knife he runs it down
my arm agonizingly slow as I cry out in pain.

"Please let me go!" I beg. "I - I won't tell anyone what happened,
just please don't do this!"

"Shut the fuck up!" He yells as he repeatedly kicks me. The
sickening sounds of bones cracking and my sobs fill the room as he
begins to laugh.

"Oh how I love when you beg Swan but, begging will get you nowhere this
time. He slams the knife down into the floor boards between my legs.
"How are we going to remedy the mess you've made of things Bella?"

"I - I - I'll leave. You won't ever have to see me again. I'll never
come back. Please, just let me go Jake!" I cry out as the heel of his
boot slams down on my abdomen.

I gasp in agony as he kicks me again. My eyes flutter closed as my
body gives in. It's over; he won't give up until I'm dead. My body
begins to take its final gasps of air as I'm vaguely away of screams
filling the apartment. Unsure if they are my own, and not caring either
way. My mind finally succumbs to the darkness.