At first, I didn't believe that the Big Blue was home to merfolk and sea creatures, but surely enough, it was - but not in the oceans of the world you and I are from.
Because I was actually on my vacation at good ol' Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I may be a grown man, but I'm the main star of all I surveyed!
I was boogying at the sunny beaches, along with everyone else, and then...
BOOM! I strike my epic poses as I shouted, "Party time, baby!"
I strutted and danced as the beach-goers looked on. They all love me, for I was the funniest and most powerful ball of charisma. In other words, I'm just used to having my way - like all the time.
But most of the time, I liked to relax and read my books from my bag of stuff, just enjoying myself. No doubt about it!
But all that was about to change.
That very same day, before I was even lounging myself on one of the chairs, a little red crab came onto the beach, and tried to get my attention.
"Must you bother me whilst I relax," I said to the little crab. But he was growing impatient as he snapped his craws on my finger.
"OWWW," I screamed as I tried to shake it off, but the crab wouldn't let go.
"Will you quit it?!" I yelled at him, "I'm trying to relax and enjoy my vacation here! You got a problem, buddy?"
That's when the crab screamed and replied, "Unhand me, human! I'm in a heap of trouble here!"
My eyes were widened when I realized that crab from somewhere.
It was Sebastian, the so-called "music/court composer".
I let him go as I asked, "Ahhhh, where did you come from? This can't possibly be really real. This can't actually be happening!"
"It's happening, child! Who are you?"
"Why, you're looking at the most artistic yet unlikely man in the face of relaxation and awesomeness," I told him. "I am Joshua Pharaoh. Sumter, and I... Wait, you didn't happen to be during the whole musical number a while back, did you?"
"Why did I have the pleasure?" Sebastian groaned.
Sebastian explained to me that he came from a place called Atlantica, where he was in the middle of a concert, when he was brought here by some weird magic. Now he needed help to get back home.
But I laughed so hard at that part, but I guess I do believe him as I said, "To recap: You came from some magical place, outside. An ocean-like place, where you don't have to worry about my kind."
"You're a human?! You wouldn't happen to be a barbaric fish-eater, would you?"
"WHAT?! NO, of course not! I don't EAT fish! Repeat, I. Do not. Eat. Fish. FOR REALSIES! Look, I don't where you got that info from, but I think you should crawl back to the ocean and find your way back. To do that, you best look beyond what you see."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sebastian asked.
"It means look beyond what you see," I repeated on what I really meant.
So, following my advice, Sebastian crawled back to the ocean, muttering, "What a strange human?"
And with that, I resumed to my relaxation. But it didn't last long, because suddenly, a thunder storm appeared.
"Hurricane incoming," One of the beachgoers yelled as everyone were about to get their things and headed safely to their homes, hotel rooms, and such to safety.
I was about to do the same thing as I groaned, "Aaah, this is crazy! A storm in the middle of my perfect day! Come on, there wasn't a cloud in the sky a minute ago."
But then, something hit me when I looked back at the ocean and the storm. I just thought of something: There's no way Sebastian would survive that.
"Sebastian," I screamed into the sea for him, "Get over here!"
As I spoke the crab's name, a bolt of lightning struck. As it did, a gust of wind looked powerful. I closed my eyes and felt the storm's force wash over me.
I felt like something hit me in the head, and stars swirled around me and I seemed to be floating.
Then, everything around me became dark and silent.
I thought I had the strangest idea and feeling to call out for Sebastian, but I never would've or could've guessed who else was gonna answer...
When I opened my eyes, feeling dizzy for a moment, I looked around to see that I was all alone, all by myself. Not a single person in sight.
At first, I smiled because this was my chance to have the perfect me-time, i.e. alone time, I deserved, but then I somehow felt a strange presence in the beach.
I heard footsteps, strange ones that sounded like...tentacles crawling up on the sand. Something was coming of the ocean and into the sand right toward me.
"Who's there?" I called out, "Sebastian?"
"No," an evil female voice said, "It's not that little crustacean."
"Who...who are you?" I asked. I soon got the chills of fear, for it was someone I never, ever expected to see...
"You are in the presence of the great Ursula, my child."
There was some fog around the entire beach area and suddenly, I could see an enormous sea witch standing right before me.
It was really Ursula the sea witch!
I had no idea how Ursula had gotten into the real world (That's our universe, to be precise), but there she was!
Anyway, Ursula picked up a seashell from the sand, "These shells are a little bit expensive, boy!"
Then, she threw it on the sand and stared menacingly at me as she continued, "But that's not why I have come for you."
"You came here for me?" I gulped, but my spoiled yet concerned expression face says otherwise. "What for?"
"Oh, dear," Ursula said sarcastically. "Now I've gone and spoiled the surprise. Always doing that. But you see, me and my boys, on the hand, have been working very hard to make absolutely sure that we give Triton and his flimsy fish folk something else to celebrate soon enough. And you... You, with some regard, though, for the feelings of others, have the nerve to call that crab here by name, and for what? So, you can spoil my plan with your little charisma? But... you would be the major tool for their undoing. And besides, I positively loathe your little perfect world."
"You're not gonna get me," I said to Ursula as I ran away from her, but she chased me around, laughing.
That's when Ursula had hit the storm. If I wanted to put an end to some kind of nonsense she was talking about, Ursula was gonna have something to say about it.
"It's best that you sleep with the blue fishes," Ursula said as she waved her hands and arms and recited a spell.
A whirlpool emerged and rose higher and higher, engulfing me.
Lights flashed as I was stuck right in the middle of some kind of cyclone.
Then, I was engulfed by a trail of magic smoke. Lights flashed once again, and thunderous booms crashed. My body thrashed about as I struggled against its force, but it was too powerful.
Finally, as Ursula laughed, I screamed as the rest of my entire body seemed to have disappeared.
All that was left of me was my summer clothes.
I was about to have the most craziest adventure I'd ever dreamed of...
I opened my eyes as I felt a little dizzy. I then looked around at what looked like a ship graveyard.
Dozens of sunken ships on the sea floor. Ship parts stuck out of the sand.
Am I in the ocean? I thought as I looked up at the surface, The Big Blue?! But why am I here? How did I...? Am I dreaming?
I had so many questions on my head about what happened after that certain magic mumbo jumbo back at Myrtle Beach by that sea witch.
At first, I thought about trying to find a way to get back home, to my vacation, where everyone should be safe from that weird storm.
But then, the unthinkable happened, ...
"Shark! SHARK!" A voice screamed frantically, interrupting my thoughts. "We're gonna die!"
That was where Ariel and Flounder came in as they swam passed through me to get away from a massive shark. When I turned around, there it was!
"AAAAHHH!" I screamed as I tried to escape from it, but the shark just won't bug off.
Then, I saw an anchor and thought of something. I lured the shark to come after me as I called out to it, "Hey, SHARK BOY! Get over here!"
Because luckily for me, the shark was so focused to catch me that he didn't noticed the anchor up ahead. I fit through it easily and when the shark tried to follow me, his thick neck got stuck in the iron ring.
I did a dance of triumph in front of that shark's face as I cried, elated, "Whoo, yeah! Look at me and my bad self! I trapped you right in that anchor! Ooh, I'm an angry, hungry shark and I'm hungry for dinner. Well, not today, boy! YEAH!"
But the shark snapped at me and I recoiled in horror. Then, I swam frantically, right into the open sea.
When I catch my breath, Ariel and Flounder saw all of this and swam over to see me. They must be amazed at how I saved their beloved lives.
I hid under the rock with caution, nervously, so I couldn't be seen. But when I peeked out for a moment, Ariel was waiting there with a big, cute silly grin.
"Hey, thank you," Ariel thanked me.
"Don't mention it," I replied. "You two were so close to uncertain death. But, heck, at least that anchor biz was some quick thinking on my part. I'm Joshua Pharaoh. Sumter. And you are...?"
"I'm Ariel," The red-haired mermaid introduced herself.
"And I'm Flounder," The yellow and blue fish did the same and then asked nervously, "Is he gone?"
"Yeah, he's stuck," I told Flounder, "But not for long, really. I would've whooped that shark good with my kick-butt moves and my kick-butt attitude."
Then, I looked at Ariel's bag and asked her, "So, uh, what are you carrying that bag for?"
"Treasures," Ariel explained. "I've always been so interested about the world above. So, Flounder and I find wonderful treasures - the things that people lost."
"Well, then. Let me take care of it for 'ya," I volunteered.
But when I reached out to Ariel's bag, I saw that my hands had become...fins!
"Jeepers! I have fins!" I screamed. "And I'm all bluey!"
"Well," Flounder said, "We fishes always have fins!"
"But...but...I'm a human!" I cried. Then, I looked at my reflection with another object - a mirror.
Suddenly, Dory's scream rose out of my throat.
"Did that literally come out of me?" I asked, but I gasped and shrieked in realization, "I'm...I'm a fish! Ursula turned me into a fish! My face! My good ol' face! I'm a blueish, Dory-like fish!"
Then, I touched Ariel's cutie-patootie cheeks as I cried, "Help me! Do something, kid! I can't be a fish, I'm a human! Ariel, what'll I do?!"
"Okay, okay, woah," Ariel said to me, calmly. "Take it easy!"
I looked down and screamed some more, because I'm not wearing my clothes! (Oh, right, I forgot. Fish don't wear clothes.)
So, that's why I'm in the ocean. I've been turned into a blue-tang fish, just like Dory from Finding Nemo!
As I was still reeling from the utmost shock of being turned into a blue-tang, Dory-like fish, Ariel and Flounder were up on the surface, talking to a quirky seagull named Scuttle.
Scuttle is the so-called "expert" on all things human - or so they thought. So, even though he lacks knowledge, he's clueless.
"Look what we found," Ariel cried, holding out her sack.
"We were in a sunken ship, and it was really creepy," Flounder added.
"Human stuff, huh?" Scuttle said as he pulled out some stuff out of the sack.
I later joined in when I decided to do a spit take on Scuttle, because I'M the one who knows a lot about the surface world.
And guess what? I already did that!
"It's okay, Scuttle," said Flounder, calling to him. "This is Joshua. He's a cool fish."
"I'm a human," I cried. "And I spit take on your bird friend, because he's crazy."
"Me, crazy?" Scuttle asked me, confused.
"You bet your white feathers, you are," I said.
Scuttle pulled out a fork, "It's a dinglehopper. Humans used these little babies to straighten their hair out." Then, he demonstrated by combing his feathers.
"Uh, boy," I replied to Scuttle. "That's a fork. We humans use them to eat food."
I took the fork from Scuttle to demonstrated it by pretending I'm eating food with it, but then Scuttle took out another object, a tobacco pipe.
"This is a banded, bulbous snarfblatt. They invented this to make fine music," Scuttle said as he took a deep breath and blew into the pipe.
"No, Scuttle, that's a tobacco pipe," I explained. "It dates back to some other time when we humans used to discover and do some bad things. Completely bad mojo like, uh...alcohol and drugs, which are very bad. So, they invented this tobacco pipe to smoke, which you will never, ever do at home."
But then I laughed so hard when seaweed and water gushed out the top of the pipe.
"It's stuck," Scuttle said with a groan.
"Of course, it's stuck, 'cause that's NOT how it works!" I cried, still laughing.
But the word 'music' made Ariel remember something, "The concert! Oh my gosh, my father's gonna kill me!"
"The concert was today?!" Flounder was shocked, too.
As they dive beneath the surface and waved goodbye to Scuttle, Ariel and Flounder also dragged me along the way to their home, Atlantica, and the castle of King Triton, ruler of the Big Blue and Ariel's dad.
I cannot believe it when I saw that it was all real.
Moments later, I find myself in Triton's throne room with Ariel and Flounder, whose heads bowed, while her father scolded her for missing the concert.
"I just don't know what I'm about to do with you, young lady," Triton bellowed.
"Daddy, I'm sorry. I just forgot-," Ariel said.
But I kinda intervened when I replied, "Your Highness, I can assure you that she just forgot, that's all."
"Yeah, it wasn't her fault," Flounder agreed. Then, he introduced me to Triton and tried to explain where they'd been and how I saved them from that shark fiasco.
But when he blurted out about our visit to Scuttle, Triton was furious.
Flounder quickly hid behind me as Triton said, "You went up to the surface again, didn't you?"
"Nothing happened," Ariel answered. I nodded in agreement.
"Ariel, how many times must we go through all of this? You could've been seen by one of those barbarians, by one of those...humans!"
Wait a minute! I'm a human, I thought. And he thinks we're dangerous and barbarians. So, that means...HEY!
"Daddy, they're not barbarians!" Ariel protested.
I was even more insulted when Triton brought up that we're fish-eaters. I DON'T EAT FISH, for gosh sake.
Ariel here would totally disagree, but she knew she couldn't change her dad's mind, so she also reminds him she's 16, which for some reason made him even angrier.
"As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules," The king thundered. "And I am never, never to hear of you going to the surface again. Is that clear?"
Almost in tears, Ariel turned and swam out, with Flounder close behind. I, too, had no choice but to go out for a while as I swam away.
Not after I tried to tell Triton about Sebastian being gone, thinking that he's missing or on vacation.
"You must be here for a reason, Joshua," Triton said as a thought came to him. "Sebastian just needed some time off. He must've asked somebody else to take his responsibility to keep Ariel out of trouble. And you happen to be just the fish to do it."
My eyes were widened. I never thought about that idea before, but I wonder how Ariel's doing.
So, later on, I then went to check on the kid. As I did, I visited an enormous grotto.
When I looked around the grotto, my eyes were widened even more, and my jaws dropped as I see that the walls were filled with all of our human stuff - vases, books, plates, clocks, candlesticks, even a harp.
I never seen such stuff being here before, but I knew for a fact that Ariel was right - they were from the surface.
So, if Ariel didn't know what they were, she was sure she'd find out one day. Then, everything in her collection would make a lot of perfect sense to her, like the fork and the tobacco pipe.
I listened to Ariel telling Flounder how much she wanted to be part of the human world.
Suddenly, Ariel and Flounder heard a loud crash, where they found me being amazed as I surveyed the scene, "Wowee, wow, wow, wow, wow! So that's where all our stuff went, and you happen to put them all here as your collection. How adorable."
"You're not going to tell him, are you?" A nervous Flounder interrupted me, referring to Triton.
"You two think I don't know that?!" I cried.
"Oh, please, Joshua," Ariel begged as she clasped her hands together. "He would never understand."
"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me," I replied. "I mean, this is all true. You were really fascinated with the surface world."
"You're right, Josh," Ariel said, softly, "That's why I collect so many things and wonders."
"Well, I'll tell you what the surface world is like," I declared. "I've lived on the surface as a human."
"A human?" Flounder asked, shocked.
"Yes. I was a human before that sea witch turned into me into a fish," I explained angrily.
"So, that's why you called the dinglehopper a 'fork' and the snarfblatt a 'smoke pipe'," Ariel said, amazed, then asked. "But you're really from the surface world?"
"You got that right," I sighed. "I guess you and I are on the same boat..."
"If only you and I can make Daddy understand," Ariel replied, sitting gloomily next to me, "We both just don't see things the way he does. I don't see how a world that made all such wonderful things could be bad?"
I scoffed, "Tell me about it."
Just then, a shadow passed over us.
"What do you suppose...?" Ariel asked, then curiously swam away.
When Ariel, Flounder, and I reached the surface, we saw a huge ship anchored nearby and awesome fireworks.
Peeking through an opening in the side of the ship, Ariel and I can see a crew singing and dancing.
"And your dad called my kind barbarians. HAH!" I scoffed, quietly.
"They don't look that way to me," Ariel replied, but then one man in particular caught her attention.
That guy Ariel looked at seemed different from the rest. With dark, black hair and dimpled cheeks, Ariel believed that he's beautiful.
That guy...was Prince Eric.
Then, suddenly, Scuttle joined us as he called loudly, "Quite a show, eh?"
"Scuttle, zip it! They'll hear you!" I said, angrily, grabbing Scuttle's beak.
"I've never seen a human this close before. He's very handsome, isn't it?" Ariel said, looking at Eric with her eyes full of hearts.
"Yep," I agreed, then I looked at his dog, Max. "And his dog is hairy and slobbery, too."
Ariel could tell that Eric was good, kind, and as far as being handsome.
When he strolled near us with his buddy and guardian, Grisby, we nearly hid. But we stayed where we were, so we could listen to their conversation.
"Oh, Eric," Grisby said. "The entire kingdom wants to see you happily settled down with the right girl."
"She's out there somewhere," Eric replied. "When I do find her, it'll just hit me like lightning."
That's right, I thought. Ariel here is still waiting for 'ya, just a few feet away.
Then, a thunderclap interrupted my thoughts. We all noticed dark clouds gathering over the ship. Thunders roaring, and lightning crackled.
It did somehow remind me of that storm back at Myrtle Beach.
Everyone on that ship struggled, but it was too late as the waves got a lot higher, tossing the ship.
I didn't want to see people get hurt during the storm. But then, Eric went to save his dog.
"I knew that Eric was good, kind, and has wonderful legs," Ariel said to me, watching and sighing with hearts full of love (and maybe some lust) floating around her, "But now I know that he's brave, loyal, and a good swimmer, too."
"Okay, okay, I gig the message," I replied.
But then, before Eric got out, an epic explosion blew up the whole ship to smithereens, and the unconscious Eric landed on water.
But luckily, Ariel did the rescuing part as she grasped Eric in her arms. Struggling through the fierce current, she pulled him to safety.
In time, Scuttle and I joined her.
"Is he...dead?" Ariel asked.
"No, no, no, he's just unconscious," I reassured her. "But he'll be okay, just to be on the safe side."
But then, I turned to see Scuttle lifting the prince's foot and putting it to his ear, "I can't make out a heartbeat."
"Uh, Scuttle. That's his foot," I groaned at the seagull.
"No, look, he's breathing!" Ariel cried, happily. She smiled with relief and sang in a good ol' voice about her hopes to be part of his world.
Then, sounds of Max and Grisby approaching made us dive quickly to the sea. As Grisby hoisted Eric to his feet, the prince only caught a glimpse of Ariel's face, but at least he'll remember her voice forever.
That made Ariel as happy as...well, just happy. And she stayed that way, too.
And I had a feeling that Ariel's love and lust for Prince Eric is gonna get really good.
Ariel swam around in a daze, humming softly and pulling sea flowers.
"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me also...," Ariel said, dreamingly.
"Oh, yeah. So far, so good," I yawned, stretching. "But it ain't easy keeping a secret like this for so long."
"He loves me! I knew it!" Ariel exclaimed as she pulled the last petal.
"Ariel! Wake up and smell the alfalfa," I said to her, laughing.
I got to admit, if Ariel is really in love with Eric, I just couldn't believe it. Everyone knows that inter-species dating is a BIG no-no. I wonder what happens when vampires and humans got together - A dhampir?
But that headstrong kid Ariel was, like, MADLY in love as you obviously remember. That day after the shipwreck, all she did was talking to me about trying to catch Eric's attention.
From the looks and sounds of it, she'd do anything to get to him.
"You know, kid," I began, "You had me thinking. The merworld may be your home and my human world is...a mess! But life on land and out of the sea is better as anything you all got down here!"
Ariel had paid any attention to my ranting about the benefits of living on land, "Everything on land is fun and all, but it's also safe and happy. We humans liked to have fun, work, rocking out, shopping, and partying. We also got air, trees, the animals, you named it."
Just then, Flounder showed up, wanted to show us something at the secret grotto.
As I was about to keep up, I said to myself, "How did I get dragged into all of this? Whoo, boy! Not only has Ariel been falling in love at the weirdest possible time, but with a human? That'd be rich!"
I laughed to myself and then swam up to join up with Ariel and Flounder. But I had the weird feeling...that I was being watched.
Later on, we were back at the grotto, where a surprise was in the form of Eric's statue, which Flounder had retrieved after the storm.
"Flounder, you're the best!" Ariel exclaimed. "It looks just like him! It even has his eyes!"
Then, Ariel pretend it was real, "Why, Eric. Run away with you? This is all so sudden! Oh, Eric, take me to your world! Let me be yours."
Ariel giggled and whirled with joy as I said to her, "So, how does it work, exactly? I mean, do you hope you get to - Oh, I don't know - hold onto him on odd days or even? Or even make out with him?"
"Cut it out, Josh," Ariel cried, smiling at that joke.
"Hey, I'm glad you chose me to help you specifically because I have skills and knowledge that are essential to the surface world!"
Then, I showed Ariel and Flounder my karate moves as I yelled, "WHASSAH! WHATTA! AYIE! AYIE!"
That made Ariel and Flounder laughed so hard as I continued, "...And that, Ariel, is what makes you and Eric equal parts of one lean, mean love-making..."
But before anything else, Triton suddenly appeared and swam out from the shadows with his face tight with rage.
"...machine?" I finished when I turned around to see the king and screamed. He must've overheard everything I said.
"Daddy?" Ariel cried.
"I consider myself a reasonable merman," Triton began. "I set certain rules, and I expect those rules to be obeyed. Is it true you rescued a human from drowning?"
"Daddy, I had to-!" Ariel protested.
"Contact between the human world and the merworld is strictly forbidden! Ariel, you know that! Everyone knows that!" Triton shouted.
Soon, I stepped in as I replied to him, "He would've been dead. And besides, you don't even know the guy!"
"Know him? I don't have to know him!" Triton said to me, getting angrier at this. "They're all the same... Spineless, savage, harpooning fish-eaters, incapable of any feelings!"
But then, Ariel wouldn't give in as she shouted, "Daddy! I love him!"
Triton was stunned. "No! Have you lost your senses completely? He's a human, you're a mermaid!"
"I don't care," Ariel said, hiding behind.
Then, I accidentally blurted out that I'm really a human before I was turned into a fish and then added, "Okay, okay, so you've always told Ariel not to trust humans. But we ain't ALL as bad as you said. And I'm...well, I'm going to prove it to you!"
"So, help me, I am going to get through to you. And if this is the only way, so be it!" Triton shouted, raising his trident.
Then, he destroyed all of Ariel's treasures, including Eric's statue.
As for me? Well, while trying to defend our human stuff, I was accidentally shot out of the ocean by Triton's trident and landed to shore, where I rested for a while.
I looked back at the ocean as I then decided to give Ariel some time alone. I mean, all of our human stuff, blown to smithereens.
What am I gonna do now? I thought as I looked up at the sky as I laid myself down.
What kind of mess did I got myself into?
