hmfan24: Putting the plot together is fun. I mean, imagine if you woke up married to an attractive delinquent at your school and you had kids.

Note: Fuck. Fanfiction, what the fuck are you doing? Don't tell people I'm revising. Fccccuuuk.


Maternal Sonata: Crescendo

Chapter 1: Pathétique

by hmfan24


Pathetique: the french word for pathetic which means arousing pity, sympathy, or compassion.

Warning: Also...words may be profane, so if you're sensitive to that then I'm sorry.

Sasuke shut the door behind him and came a bit closer. His face didn't hold the familiar scowl that it usually held. The ways his eyes darted and scanned me, he seemed aroused to some degree and enamored with...me? When he got closer, his eyes never left mine and even when I tried to divert them, he held my chin and tilted it up to his face and forced my gaze upon him, "Are you okay?" He lowered his voice.

"Y-Yes...um...I just feel like I don't remember anything."

He put his forehead to mine - our noses barely touching. While he was brimming with excitement, slowly, he began to frown. "You do seem kind of warm. Sorry, I shouldn't be messing with you. No wonder you were acting so weird..."

"No, but," I stammered. How was I supposed to explain I didn't remember making this life? "I don't remember any of this. Are those really our kids? I still feel like I'm 16." I failed to articulate as I usually do. By the time I finished, my arms were practically flailing. I was shaking and trapped and... I wished I could just accept my defeat and go back to whatever normal was for this life.

"Hina, calm down," He put his hands on my shoulders and I relaxed as my ' lover' said, "you must really be sick. I'll get Sakura to come and take a look at you." The way his eyebrows furrowed and his tone of voice seemed to have an effect on me that I'd never felt before.

I took a few slow breaths, relinquishing to my life from last night, "I'm sorry, Uchiha-san. I'll try to act like I always do. I'm just now sure how that is..." Was I still shaking?

Sasuke scoffed and snapped away. His face was engulfed in red. The contagion infected my face as well. "Cute..." he mumbled. After inhaling deeply through his nose, he brought my head into his chest. "Relax...I just want to make sure you're okay, alright?"

"..." I blushed and looked down at his hands. We were close. We were so close that I could hear his heart go from racing to simply beating. His heart sounded like any other but I liked the beat. He was going to take care of me. No matter how bad things got or how bad I got, I would be able to depend on him in this world. At least he was on my side.

"Alright?" he repeated and wrapped me in his arms. I didn't feel shy. It felt like no one had ever hugged me before but him. "Just close your eyes and breathe. That's all I want you to do." There was something paternal about it; at the same time, we felt connected in an intimate way. I would've compared it to hugging Neji, but this was different. Hugging like this was something only lovers do - long time lovers who have loved and would love throughout time. However, I'd do anything to feel this way in anybody's arms but Uchiha Sasuke. But at that point, I had no choice and whatever he was doing seemed to be working.

After my breathing became normal, I heard him begin to hum a tune that not even Neji or Hanabi knew. Uchiha Sasuke was humming me a lullaby? My heart rate rose again. I hadn't heard the melody since I was a young child. But the way he sang it, with perfect pitch, I didn't care who he was anymore. Somehow he knew how to conquer my anxiety through all my senses. And while I would've passed out by now, I gradually falling into place. He was keeping me grounded. I clung to him.

"We're out of rice." The door was opened and either Fugaku or Shisui peeked inside, "How could you let this happen, dad? You ate all of it didn't you?" accused the boy, nearly breaking us apart.

"Not now, Fugaku..." Sasuke said sternly without even looking at him. His arms were still wrapped tightly around me. I jumped at how harsh he seemed. Has he really not changed at all? Why, he was just as bad as my father. Judgement filled my eyes as I cracked them open.

"When's mom coming to make breakfast?" whined Fugaku with somewhat of a smile on. It almost reminded me of Kiba and how he would bug me about bringing bentoes to training. This was odd, seeing as though my cooking wasn't much to sneeze at. The main branch would rarely cook their own meals. Neji was even a better cook than me.

Sasuke snapped his head around. He snarled. "Can't you see that I'm busy with your mother? I said not now, didn't I? I'll make breakfast this morning!" he declared, then pointed to himself before wrapping it around me again. That was the Sasuke she was familiar with - the cold, sociopathic one who managed to take out everything on anyone. Apparently his own son was no exception.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood and then lied flat once he took a breath. Or maybe, he was stressed because when he looked to me again, he went to being the future Sasuke - the good one. I found it difficult to associate the two with each other.

"Your mother's not feeling well..." His voice dropped off into a listless mumble.

Fugaku faced towards the hallway. His head was low and his fists were clenched. He seemed...dejected or disappointed. Regardless of how good Sasuke was to me, there was no reason for him to be so to his children! I furrowed my eyebrows and prepared myself to reprimand him until his son woefully announced, "Mom's not making breakfast, everybody! Dad is..."

"Noooooo." echoed various whines from the hall.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Tch. There's nothing wrong with my cooking!" He shouted, making sure the entire clan could hear. "Excuse me," he said as he finally released me to stand to the door. His feet were planted firmly as he crossed his arms.

"Yes, there is!" retorted Fugaku with a grin, "And why are you all gooshy with mom today?" He dashed at Sasuke, pushing him over onto the bed.

Gushy? Like lovey-dovey? I guess that's what he was doing...She blushed. But he was just trying to calm her down. She wanted to shout 'It wasn't like that,' because she wasn't entirely sure what gushy felt like? Unless, it was similar to the butterflies she felt in her stomach.

"I'm not 'gushy'! You're being ridiculous," he teased. Then the former rogue-ninja playfully pushed Fugaku up in the air, and held him effortlessly away from him.

Fugaku got frustrated, swallowing his distress. "No fair," he pleaded. He tried to hit Sasuke in the face, "You're taller than me, Dad." His arms hung limply towards his father's face.

"You shouldn't aim for the face anyway," lectured the father, reluctantly as he shook Fugaku. "Why don't you just use your stupid Gentle Fist? I can take it."

"Last time Sis used it, you started spitting blood, so Mom said we can't use it on family anymore," he reminded him.

"Yeah, but that was Jin..." replied Sasuke.

I stared at them in awe. Perhaps Sasuke wasn't as cold as he once was. This scenario seemed warm and foreign to anything I've known in the Hyuuga clan. I giggled, "B-Be nice." They both looked over at me with similar puzzled eyes. Sasuke's being ebony and Fugaku's being ivory. I blushed, "I'll...go make breakfast," I tried to excuse myself.

Sasuke sat Madara next to him and sat up, "Are you sure? I think you should rest." He remembered something, "Hayato!" he called.

In a split second, Hayato - the shy, oldest boy - came to the entryway, "Yes, Father?"

"Call Uzumaki Sakura and tell her your mother isn't feeling well. Be sure she doesn't bring Naruto." Sasuke commanded. Then he looked at me while running his fingers through his hair, "Well, are you sure you want to make breakfast?"

Hayato left to do as he was told. He seemed like such an obedient boy. Almost everything about him reminded me of myself. Was this how raising children was like?

Wait, did he say 'Uzumaki Sakura' as in...Sakura was married to Naruto? That made sense... I had guessed they were close and close people do get married eventually...sometimes.

I stood up to my feet, nodded then fell over. Sasuke reached for me before I hit the floor and laid me under the sheets. At the time, I thought about it, and I did feel a bit faint. "I'm sorry."

He was genuinely worried, "Don't apologize..." he frowned. His face revealed guilt. Maybe he wanted me to cook. Then he turned to Fugaku, "You shouldn't have tried to guilt your mother into cooking."

"You were gonna let her anyway-..." Fugaku defended himself but Sasuke lightly hit him upside the back of his head, "Ow, hey!"

"No, I wasn't!" he interrupted sharply, sincerely annoyed.

Fugaku dropped his coy routine and bunched up the sheets in his hands, "Sorry, Mom...you should rest."

"Now go prepare the fish." he ordered. Fugaku walked off, mumbling to himself. Sasuke held my hand in his hands, "I'll be right back. You can go to sleep if you want or whatever." He leaned over to kiss my forehead. I stayed silent, not sure what to make of his affection. He walked away to the door, put his hand to the knob then half-way turned his face around, blushing slightly, "Um...I shouldn't have guilt you into cooking and I'm sorry. Also..." He cleared his throat, and blushed more intensely, "I...love you." With that he exited and shut the door behind him quickly.

Seeing him like that. Wasn't normal. I meditated it over as I dozed off. I dreamed of what I knew to be the present. It felt so real. I wasn't a lucid dreamer, so whatever I saw and said, I couldn't control. It was a lot like watching a movie or flashing back to the past...rather the present.


About 13 years ago

The trees were blowing in the wind and I was in my regular clothes at my regular training spot with my regular friends. It was winter, the air was cold and the ground was free from snow for the time being. We were sitting beneath a tree having the typical bento lunches I prepared. Kiba was having what could be described as a conversation with Shino though Shino only replied 2 or 3 words at a time. He was shy like me in a boyish way. A lot of people think he's anti-social, but I think he feels like nature and bugs are able to understand him more. And then Kiba - well, he was always the kind that talked and never listened and he thought he ruled Konoha. He didn't like to think. He just liked to do whatever he pleased and we'd all have to pay for it.

The way it worked was: whenever we went on missions, Shino would tell Kiba not to talk, Kiba would talk anyway and then I'd have to be the one to apologize. That's the way it was even with the smallest D-ranked mission. But as a team, we always managed to get the task done. And we were good and so were the times.

It felt great being back in my 'real' life, but somehow it felt more like a dream.

They were talking about Naruto. I smiled brightly, and they both smirked at me then went back to their conversation.

"He fucking did it. Naruto did it!" Kiba grinned, talking with food in his mouth, "I knew the bastard would. I told you." He was getting to have a dirty mouth, but I didn't mind. Sometimes it was infectious.

"Did what?" Shino asked after a pause to chew his food.

"Got Sasuke back. After the war ended, he talked it over with the Hokage and they worked out some deal so he could live here again." he bragged, then continued on his lunch.

My chest tightened and throbbed. So Sasuke was back in the village...I knew the war was over and I knew Naruto was trying to get him back, but I had no idea that he'd actually accept. Sasuke had always scared me to some degree. Everyone deserves a second chance, I suppose.

Shino looked up into the sky, "I don't care for Sasuke much..." A beetle flew by and he smiled as he often does.

"Is that why you didn't go with us when we tried to get him back the first time?"

"No one invited me," said my buggy partner, as he lifted his head to the sky.

"Oh...yeah... whatever, man" Kiba slammed his chopsticks on his knee, "I hate that bastard, too! But I just think it's cool that Naruto achieved his dream and all."

"What are your thoughts, Hinata?" Shino looked at me, noting my distraught disposition.

"I-I don't know Uchiha-san that well, so I can't really say. If Naruto sees good in him, I'm sure he's okay."

Kiba chuckled, "Hey, that rhymes!"

We continued eating lunch - laughing and joking as always. A colder wind blew and I shivered.

"Speak of the devil!" shouted Kiba.

Sai, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke formed a half circle around us. Why were they here? I stared at the ground. Sasuke was the only one dressed in casual clothes - a black muscle shirt and some long khakis. From what I heard, he wasn't allowed on any missions. He wasn't allowed off the premises. And he wasn't allowed to fight unless it was a monitored sparring match. I always heard a lot about Sasuke from my family since their traditional disdain towards the Uchiha warranted rumors to spread fast around my compound. Even before, when we were younger and innocent, I warned not to associate with Sasuke, for Uchiha were tainted. I didn't really buy into it - not as much as I do now.

Naruto stood between Sakura and Sasuke. He held their arms together in front of them, almost forcing them to hold hands. Despite the effort, the two seemed to be awkward leaning in. The sunshine ninja greeted us, "Yo, guys. We were just taking Sasuke and Sakura on a date. And then we saw you guys and decided to show off the awesome couple." Naruto smiled mischievously and wiped his nose.

Part of me was relieved. Maybe the rumors weren't true. Maybe he didn't have feelings for Sakura. But something didn't seem right. Shino tilted his sunglasses up. We were close and so I heard him mutter, "Who takes two people on a date?" He then cleared his throat. I wasn't familiar with the methods of dating and I was surprised Shino was. But that was probably why something didn't seem right.

Sasuke probably had to be under Naruto's surveillance. So it wasn't that abnormal.

Sakura protested, "It's not a date, Naruto. Stop calling it that! We're all out together as friends." I thought she liked Sasuke. Not that it mattered, but I could've sworn she was against the idea of being on a date with him.

Sasuke sighed, ignoring Naruto's comment, "Hello," he spoke, out of the blue and out of his character. Maybe he was trying something new. Maybe he was trying to get reacquainted with his classmates. Or maybe he was just testing the waters to see where he was welcomed. Who knew? At that point I didn't care. I was only watching him out of the corner of my eye. I stared at Naruto's collar bone since I couldn't meet his eyes for one reason or another.

With as much courage as I could, I slowly looked up when Sasuke suddenly tried to make eye contact with me. It worked and for a quick second, we stared at each other for too long. I pushed my hair back and blushed before looking away in a cold sweat. I didn't have any feelings for him, but seeing a killer like that made my heart race more. Plus, with Naruto being there, I was already nervous.

"Naruto, weren't you the one who admitted it'd 'hurt' you to let Sasuke be with - ..." Sai was stopped by Naruto's chokehold.

"Hey, hey, now. Chill out!" Naruto let him go and took a seat next to me, "Can I have some, Hinata-chan?"

I couldn't hide my blush as I silently handed over my entire bento box to him and lowered my face. I was afraid that anything I said would be wrong or that.

"Why don't you just feed it to me? Ahhh..." he opened his mouth wide and leaned in towards me.

I lowered the box finally raised my head, our eyes were dangerously close. I was past-due fainting. But to be rational, I needed to know why he suddenly started giving me flirtatious attention. Was it because he was actually interested in me or he wanted someone to show interest or aversion to us? The way he leaned into me, and watched Sakura look away, I could assume the latter. But I didn't want to. No matter how much sense it made. I wanted to ignore the obvious - he wanted Sakura's jealousy to show. Right when Sakura was about to interject, and right before Kiba could get out any words, Sasuke spoke again, "Leave her alone...didn't you just eat, baka?"

All eyes were on Sasuke. Speculations, theories, explanations quickly ran through the group's heads. Why was he playing the good guy? All was silent and Kiba spoke, wishing to change the subject, "Hinata's birthday is, like, this week," he annoucend at got to his feet. He put his hand on his chest. "I have a mission day before it. Shino has a mission on her birthday so we were gonna celebrate tomorrow."

My birthday was coming? How embarrassing, I was used to just celebrating it with Kiba and Shino. But now everyone would be around me. Parties didn't bother me. We'd been having a lot of get-togethers since the war ended...since Sasuke came back. Being the center of attention was the part that unnerved me. In a way, I preferred privacy, for privacy was usually free of pressure. And among my brothers, Kiba and Shino, I could relax rather than feel obliged to socialize.

Naruto spoke for everyone in his team, "Yeah, we're up for it! Where're we going?"

But if Naruto was excited for it, then maybe a little attention would be fine. I hated feeling that way. And I knew, by him being there, I'd have an even less chance of being able to enjoy my party. Maybe the drive of wanting to beat Sakura at the popularity game that Naruto had set up. However, I doubted I could even if I tried. She was my friend, and I cared about Naruto, and so what good would it do to try to come between the two if they just so decided to come together. I frowned. Sure enough, when I looked up, Sasuke's dark eyes were studying me again. He seemed unashamed to be staring at me. So maybe I was thinking too hard when my face went red.

"Just out to that one restaurant by the ole' academy. It'll be around 6 tomorrow night." my dog-like brother pointed with his thumb behind him to the road that led to our former school. Hachibana was larger than Ichiraku and it had all of our favorite dishes. Kurenai treated us there after we completed high-rank missions.

"Alright! Yeah!" Naruto stood up and gave Kiba a hi-five, not even looking back to me. "Let's go show off the new couple to Shikamaru and his crew now."

So it was for the party. Not for me. If I didn't start letting go of him at that point, I'd hurt later on down the road. More importantly, Naruto was in pain, too. Happy people didn't smile perpetually like that. Not even Naruto. He was hurting. Maybe it was because Sasuke and Sakura were...dating? No, they didn't even seem interested in each other. Fact was though, whatever was going on in team 7, Naruto was in love with Sakura. And quite possibly, from the reaction she had to the way Naruto treated me earlier, she loved him, too. No, there was no denying that. I just had to deny my own feelings so I could be happy for them.

"Hey could you invite them for me?"

"Sounds good." With that, Naruto and his gang walked off.

"That's a good guy right there, Hinata," mentioned my teammate. He sat down and nudged me in the arm. For some reason, when he said good, Sasuke came to mind. I know I felt needy. But was I really so desperate that I'd think of Sasuke?

I frowned and shook my head. "I'm not so sure..." I said in a pensive murmur that only my brothers could hear clearly, but not even they could understand it.


Later the next night, we made our way to the Hachibana restaurant. I had decided to dress in casual wear, opting to wear a black t-shirt and jeans, my hair was in a low ponytail, my face free from bangs. Having all eyes on me felt unorthodox. I knew I'd be flustered and I walking in the opened door. The savory smell of many various dishes blew to the entrance. Was it just me or was the inside overheated?

Shino was holding the door for me, "After you," said he.

Like an announcer, Kiba jumped before me. He put one foot on the table and cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen," he began in a drawn out shout, "may I present to you - the sweetest girl in the world that's growing up wayyy too fast: Hyuugaaaa Hiiiiinata."

My face was hot, I closed my eyes and bowed several times as everyone clapped. This was so embarrassing. But this was the biggest birthday celebration I ever had. The Konoha 11 -...12 was definitely getting closer. "T-Thank you all for coming." My hair hung in my face though I peaked beyond my bangs to search for Naruto. Even he was there.

I sat between Kiba and Shino at the head of the table. Everyone seemed so content.

Ino was bantering Shikamaru for forgetting to buy me a present as was Chouji defending him with a mouth full of food. Rock Lee was in a fit of tears over my maturity while TenTen was pushing Neji to do something, threatening him in all sorts of ways. Naruto continued to try to get Sasuke and Sakura to do romantic things like placing Sasuke's free hand (the other already held a cup of sake) on Sakura's. Sakura grew furious. Sai sat in silence, smirking. These were all my friends. And so, how could I have felt so lonely among them?

Someone tapped me on my shoulder and I looked back to see Neji had behind me. I turned around and smiled. He paused for a moment before he spoke, "I wanted to congratulate you personally. Please accept this." He presented me with a necklace that held a reflective silver heart.

"Thank you, Neji!" It was beautiful. I let him put it on me and turned back towards him, "You didn't have to."

"You look great with it..." He gave a small smile and then scratched the back of his head. "Anyway, that was all I wanted to do and..." He stopped to actually look at me. "Bye." He walked away. Things had changed between us since we were younger. These days he actually acted like my big brother. Beyond his duty, he wanted to see me happy and safe. He loved me. I mean, most of the other members of the clan hadn't changed, but since the war, they respected me as a proper ninja. Unfortunately, they still didn't see me fit to be their leader and there was already talk that Neji would succeed my father.

The moment I faced forward, Sasuke was looking dead at me. How long would he look at me like that? I gritted my teeth. It was frightening - his lifeless eyes were wide and stared into me as if I were the space he was being lost in. Maybe I was lost, too because I failed to notice Sakura's sobs until she said something.

Sakura stood up, tears in her eyes, "Everybody, I just want to let you guys know that I'm not in love with Sasuke anymore. I love Naruto. Did you hear that, Naruto? Now, can you just...stop..." she sobbed. "Stop trying to push me to him when it's you I want!" With that she ran out of the restaurant.

Naruto stayed there, lost for words. Ino stood up, "I'll go get her."

"No, Ino," said Sai, "Naruto, you have to-..."

Naruto jumped before his teammate could finished his sentence and dashed to the exit.

It happened. My eyes saw everything and I didn't turn away. I was brave and strong and would be from now on. Yes, because no matter what Naruto did or decided, he'd make me stronger like he always did. Even if it was something like my childish heart being afflicted by circumstance, I was stronger.

Kiba broke the awkward silence, "Well, that was a downer!" He chuckled falsely, trying to make light of a dark situation. Then he turned to me, concerned and whispered, "You okay, Hinata?"

I nodded. Naruto was going to get a girl he must've been after for a while. Two of my friends would be happy and things would be...great. It would be, because I'd find happiness in someone else one day, too. We all would. I bit my lip, "Y-Yeah..." Or maybe I'd just find love in myself. That was the important part. I grinned - a wide grin for the first time in a long time which somehow warranted my teammates' concern. They frowned and knew to drop all their questions. The party was finally starting to clear out when Kiba and Shino stood up simultaneously. Kiba spoke, "I need to get outta here, I got a mission to get ready for. Shino, you have something to do, too?"

"Yeah. You'll be okay, Hinata?" Shino replied.

"Mhm, I just want to finish my food and all..." I was a slow eater, but I was willing to pick up the pace in order to get home at a good time. Neji must have left by then - not that I expected him to stay by me all the time. I wonder if he thought my teammates were going to walk me home like they usually do. Regardless, I could walk home myself...alone. I frowned at the thought. It seemed like everyone had plans afterwards. Sai was out with Team Asuma and Neji's team went to Tenten's house. Then Naruto left after Sakura. Then Sasuke...he was still here.

Kiba stretched, "Aw shit, that Uchiha bastard is drunk. Just look at him...sigh," he pointed to Sasuke who was sipping another cup of Sake. The Uchiha was still conscious but barely and staring off into space and wavering from side to side. "Anyway, bye...and this goes without saying but stay away from him, okay?"

They both left.

The only ones at the table were me and Sasuke. He slurred a bit, "Hey."

I didn't know what to say, I squirmed in my seat, and reconsidered following my team home. The outcome of anything I did looked bleak. If I paid him attention, he'd pursue a conversation. If I ignored him, he'd probably get mad.

"Hyuuga..." he said softly though his eyes narrowed to study me.

"Um, yes?" I tried to answer politely, but something told me not to answer at all.

For some reason, his eyes seemed less lifeless. Sliding down a few seats, he was now sitting next to me where Kiba once was. Perhaps this was because his eyes were a glossy onyx instead of the dull black I was used to seeing. Drunk people's eyes water. Through his stupor, he noticed me feeling uncomfortable and widened his eyes in fear of himself? "No, no, no, I'm not gonna hurt you or nothin. I just wanna talk, okayyy?" he assured me, taking on a raspy, soft tone. Some words he over emphasized, maybe so that what he said could made sense to himself, too.

By nature, I was prudent and sensible and knew not to talk to strangers like Sasuke casually. Powerful, drunken strangers who could take advantage of me even if I had my wits about me. Yet, I couldn't help but yield to my own generosity and weak heart and I was curious enough to hear him out. Curiosity killed the cat, I knew. But acted anyway. "About what?" I asked, quick and short. Then my head sank as I watched him. My hands itched, prepared to strike if need be. Though when Neji drank a lot, however, he would just have these random, drawn-out rants about his disdain towards cats.

"About everything...I want to talk about everything with you. When I look at you, I get a feeling that you'll listen to everything I'll say and you'll understand, too..." He sighed, "God damn it! I sound so stupid."

I stuttered, "N-No, you don't. Go ahead, I'll listen." Although I didn't understand why he chose to yell the words he yelled. After all, he was already speaking pretty loudly.

Sasuke's face reddened as he took another sip of sake. It must've been the alcohol. "No one believes in me anymore. My team does, but no one else thinks that I'll be any good in Konoha. They should've just executed me or something..." He looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I couldn't. This person, pouring his feelings out to me was a complete stranger, "I regret so much, but for some reason...when I saw you, it was like..."

"...?" I was curious. He looked away, regretting saying anything. There was another burst of silence, allowing me to just look at the Uchiha. He was the villain and now we were having a casual conversation. For some reason, in this light, Sasuke sounded more human than ever. I did understand how he was feeling - to have no one really believe in you.

"Sakura thinks I fell in love with you already," he laughed, "Crazy, huh?"

I didn't like where this was going. This was the first time I said anything to him since we were really young. I'm sure there were times at our clan meetings where we'd met and a few brushes at the academy, but nothing enough to warrant love. I stayed silent. Did he mean what he was saying? It didn't make any sense. What did he see in me? There was nothing exceptional about me to begin with. Perhaps he was lonely and trusted my smile to be non-judgemental. Though I was. I was just as bad as everyone else when it came to making my criticisms on his past. I didn't understand him at all.

He kept laughing then paused to stare at me, "Holy shit, fucking beautiful. Fuck," he whispered. I was red now and buried my head into my arms. This was flattering in a sick and twisted way. This was indeed one of those guilty pleasures. "Anyway, did it hurt you when Naruto went after Sakura?"

Those lines wouldn't work. He wanted something. I stirred.

"Kind of." I mumbled. My face grew hard and stoic. Somehow I felt guilty for not sharing any of my feelings with someone who seemed so interested. "Don't tell anyone," I stressed. Hopefully he'd forget by morning. Of course, if he were loyal to anyone, it'd be to his teammates - not me. The cat might as well have been let out of the bag at that point. There was no reason for him to adhere to my requests.

Sasuke frowned. He raised his hand then dropped it to his side. "I might've caused that. She got to talking to me about all these feelings I must have for you and crap and I accused her of having feelings for Naruto. Then Naruto's been trying to get me to fuck her or something. I don't know what the hell is going on," he admitted. As he threw his hands up in reluctance, he knocked over my glass of water onto my lap. "Shit, I'm sorry!"

I grabbed a napkin and wiped myself off a bit, "I'm fine. It's just water." I looked at the table, and the food was gone. The clock read about 8 and it was dark outside. Sasuke seemed to be beating himself up about something. "You're really strong from what I hear and just as long as you...um...keep a good heart, you'll be a hero one day."

"Wow..." he smiled brightly like he wasn't Sasuke, "that was really nice of you to say that." He looked at the clock, too, "I'll walk home with you since I want to follow a beautiful girl home…no, wait, fuck, I didn't mean to sound creepy again." As he got to his feet, he reached his hand out for mine, "Um...ladies first and shit," he said even though he was already standing up. Clearly, he didn't know how to be charismatic and that somehow made him all the more charming.

I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. When we got outside, it was even colder than yesterday. Winter was truly here. The air felt crisp and new as we walked forth to my house. Maybe there would be snow this year. Snow like the color of Sasuke's skin. I was used to admiring the tan skin of Naruto but pale skin wasn't that bad either. At least it was an even-tone, though he had light scars in various places. "You really aren't as scary as I thought you were," I whispered and tried to stifle everything I was thinking.

"You thought I was scary?" he was shocked for some reason and seemed somewhat offended, "Damn, I didn't mean to be like that... to you, anyway. I just had stuff do, you know...I'll tell you about it when I'm sober. I need to sleep."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I defended myself, sorry for hurting his feelings.

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?" he played with one of his bangs, looking down. "I see the most beautiful, perfect girl I've ever met and I scare her." His eyes were glazed over.

"You don't scare me...really." I smiled, blushing from his compliments. This version of Sasuke was shocking. There wouldn't be much reason for him to lie.

"I'm talking way too much. I'll kick my ass in the morning for all this."

We neared my house and looking back on the path we've walked I realized that maybe it was more dangerous for him to walk alone than it was for me. He seemed to be at the point where he'd barely be able to defend himself if he indeed had some enemies of the village. At the patio of my sector of the estate, I offered him, "Do you want to stay in my guest room?" The guest room wasn't in the main branch quarters though. That'd mean I'd have to go through hallways and risk being caught.

"Your...guest...what? What are you trying to say exactly?" he asked me to clarify. His footing was lost and he bended over, barfing.

I opened the door as he let it all out on the ground. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to show him the guest room. If anyone else found out about him, they'd punish me and him. I sighed, not sure what to do.

He was apparently finished and wiped his mouth, "What's wrong?"

"I...I don't think you should go home. It's dangerous for you..."

"What do you mean? I'm a fuckin' ninja." He got defensive about his masculinity and ranted for a long while about just how strong he was.

I backed off, "Oh...okay...but I was just thinking you're drunk and it'd be best."

"I'm sorry." He paused and thought for longer than a moment, staring straight into nowhere, "Okay, well I'm gettin sleepy so if I could sleep on your extra futon, that'd be great." He gave two thumbs up.

I nodded, and let him inside my room. It was weird, for a second, one might think I was the one who was a bit off, but maybe I was being too nice. He was, after all, a stranger to me. Regardless, we quietly laid out the extra futon and I locked my door. Finally, I could rest for the night. I made sure to keep the futons far enough apart just in case he tried anything. But more than likely, he was too drunk and tired to try anything.

When morning came, Sasuke was still here, sleeping. Surely such an aloof man would have left by the time I woke up. Maybe he was still sleeping off his alcohol. I guess it was still pretty early. Even my head was hurting, so I rested my eyes again. Some of my muscles were tense. I was stressed to suppress remnants of self-pity. However when I awoke, it was Sasuke I pitied the most. Neji had him pinned against the wall and the poor ex-shinobi looked lost yet passive. While he could've retaliated, he hung limp from the wall my cousin had him pressed up against.

"I didn't do anything to her." Sasuke said, nonchalantly, and then he stared over at me.

Neji was blind with rage, completely livid, "Bull!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His free hand was readying to use gentle fist. "I will crush you if you're lying, Uchiha."

Sasuke gestured towards me, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Hinata, are you okay?" he dropped Sasuke to the ground and ran over to my bedside, "I found that Uchiha bastard in your room. Did he do anything to you?"

"No...I..." I blushed, poking my fingers together, "he was drunk so I invited him to spend the night. I didn't want to cause a fuss, so I let him stay in my room."

"What were you thinking? You don't know how dangerous he is." he warned me, treating me like a child, "You can't just let any breathing thing in your room."

I knew he was only trying to protect me, but it was annoying, "He wouldn't hurt me," I stated despite not fully believing it. But sometimes Neji was over-bearing to the point that he showed breaches in his trust in my abilities. If anything, I was rational and prudent and could make my own decisions. Even if that meant letting a ex-rogue ninja sleep in my room while under the influence of a mind-altering drug.

Neji scoffed, "You don't know what he's capable of, Hinata. People like him can't control themselves. I thought Kiba and Shino were with you! I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." He was shaking. Maybe he didn't trust my strength as much as I thought he did.

My temple throbbed. I was irritable and couldn't control the tears welling up in my eyes. He didn't trust me. "I'm 17 now, I'm a freaking ninja, Neji," I cried, "Please stop treating me like a kid! I can take care of myself. Please, let me take care of my guest." I surprised myself at how assertive I was being. My cousin backed off finally, nodding without words, and exiting although I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it.

Sasuke was dazed and tired. His hooded, blank gaze scanned me for information. "How did I get here?" he yawned without covering his mouth. With a snort, he cracked his neck. But his eyes never left me, he trusted me to tell him the detailed truth.

I looked up, "You were too drunk to walk alone."

He blushed slightly, pulling on one of his bangs. So that was a trait of sober Sasuke as well. "We didn't...um...you know do whatever-..." he stammered, staring into my eyes. His brow was furrowed. He really didn't remember anything. Why did he answer Neji with such certainty then? What was he trying to protect?

"No!" I said a bit louder than I'd intended, "You were the only one drunk!"

"Oh. Sorry. Well my pants were off so I just thought..."

"Your pants?" I shrieked and covered my face with the blankets of my futon. "Put some on, please." How could I not have noticed. And why were his pants off? What was he doing in my room with his pants off? I wanted to call Neji back in, but I could barely get out a sylable at that point. Sasuke was probably getting closer to me. He was probably getting excited. The room was humid with my cold sweat. There was a long silence. There was a zip - probably from his pants.

Wait, that meant he was zipping his pants up, not down. I smiled and took the sheets from over my head.

I stared at him as he began to put away the futon he slept on. His face was impossible to read. For whatever reason, he had decided to be obedient. From one stance, he was actually being polite. "What?" he snapped. His eyes shot to me. "I put the pants on like you said. Quit staring at me."

I blushed, realizing I'd been staring at him for too long, "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." He was completely different from how he was last night. However, now when I looked at him, I wasn't intimidated in the least bit. I smiled to myself. Maybe because I saw him act so silly. Last night, he managed to console me in a quirky way that actually worked. He swore a lot and he was tripping over himself, but the curious night really drew my mind away from Sakura's confession. Having Sasuke around in all his angst and danger, somehow managed to brighten my spirits.

"What're you smiling about?" his voice rose with a bit of concern about what had occurred the previous night.

"You just helped me cope with Sakura's confession to Naruto. That's all." I fiddled my thumbs.

He grunted, "So I acted like a dumb ass in front of you, huh?" His arms were crossed, and he looked away from me. Sasuke was interesting to say the least. The way he guided the conversations with questions, made it easier to converse. While other guys would make assumptions and say what's on their mind, Sasuke's persistent interrogations gave the feeling of mutual interest. If that's what girls saw in him, then maybe they weren't so shallow after all. Or perhaps, by his looks alone, he was one of those tall, dark and handsome men that all girls reluctantly fell for. No matter what. I shook my head. That wouldn't happen to me.

"You're staring at me again," he gloated, teasingly. I'm not sure if he was willing me to be attracted to him with those daring eyes, or just making fun of the fact that most girls found him attractive.

He wasn't that damn good-looking. At least not to me. There was nothing particularly handsome about it. Mostly, by what I could tell, it was just the darkness that drew my gaze to him the most. The danger that radiated from every part of his body. "N-No…" I protested. Again, I could feel myself getting lost in a trance, in the enigma that was Sasuke. I mentally slapped myself. And he was bantering me. Playfully. We were playing.

He stretched his arms out to the side then rolled his neck, "There must've been something else I said…" He sat on the tatami mat next to his folded up futon. "Something that's making you think about me. Right? I said something. I usually say something when I get like that. " Drunk, he meant.

My neck and face were on fire. Beautiful. He called me beautiful several times, drilling it into my head until I almost felt beautiful for that night at least. There came to be an invisible sort of wall between us that I turned away from. "Well…"

"Eh?" he His smirk grew, taunting me to spill out whatever he said, "Out with it, already."

I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to myself, "You told me I was beautiful…" I buried my face into the pillow.

His face turned red as well, "Oh…um…did I?" He cleared his throat and stared at the ground, "Well, shit."

"You probably didn't mean it though. You didn't know what you were saying."

"Yeah?" he said as he studied my reaction.

But really, I was just studying his expression. It's hard to read someone's mind when they're hellbent on reading your own mind. So there was silence again. I was holding on tightly to one of my pillows then pushed my face into it. I wish I had been deaf to everything he said last night. Yet all night, his words rang in my mind and my dreams. I had to know then if he meant it because last night, I tried not to take anything he said seriously. Just in case, intoxication meant delusion. "Y-You also said Sakura told you that you were falling for me," I stuttered.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Mm."

"Did I scare you?" he asked, leaning forward and lowering his head to follow my eyes to the floor.

The question itself startled me. If he forgot everything from last night, then he must have already known that I averted him as much as possible. He must have known that I've always feared him. Or maybe he just assumed I did since most feared him now. I shook my head, slowly.

"Then what? What were you thinking?" he said out loud, sternly, and it did make me jump.

Neither of us truly understood the concept of attraction. For a subject such as this, we were as adept as young academy students and yet had the magnitude of attraction as any other adult. Sasuke had realized when he wanted to read a girl's mind, he couldn't; I'd realized how fast I could trust a stranger and how words affected me so much.

I shrugged and shook my head, "I didn't think. I-I didn't think you were serious, but it was nice of you."

"Why wouldn't you think I was serious?" he said this almost clinically with a faint infliction of surprise.

"You were drunk. You couldn't have been serious. I'm not beautiful…" Tears streamed down my face and I breathed in heavily, "Please, don't call me that."

His eyebrows slightly furrowed and he let out a sigh, "Well then…" he hunched his shoulders and rotated his neck to stretch. "I'm sure I'm not the first person to call you beautiful. If I said it, I probably meant it. "

Did he know what he was saying?

"God, just stop crying, already and tell me!" he snapped, giving a new face of his disposition. He was desperate and frustrated. Maybe he thought I trusted him and so when I didn't, he didn't understand. "How can I prove to you that I meant every word I said?"

"I don't know how you can." I decided not to protest anymore. My face was still red and I avoided eye contact with everything in the room.

He stood up. "Well, whatever, baka. I'm going. Expect me back."

Baka? Was that playful or degrading? I narrowed my eyes.

He gave me a sly smile like he could finally tell what I was thinking. "You hold my interest if anything," he informed me.


Days passed. I made some money on a few missions, trying to distance myself from emotions. Missions really helped with detachment because once I left the gates of Konoha, my mind was only on my job. I even worked on my birthday. The more intense, the better, and I wasn't prepared to lay my village's pride on the line for my fragile heart. This was theraputic.

On the day I finally returned, I entered the gates of Konoha and felt all that I'd be suppressing wash over me. I probably could've taken one more mission but I was physically worn out. By the time I got what must have been a day's worth of sleep, I found myself to be curious of Sasuke's whereabouts. He hadn't come back since that day. Perhaps I had scared him away or he completely sobered up and realized I wasn't worth his time. I thought about where he was and what he was doing a lot - almost as much as I thought about Naruto. Part of me preferred thinking about Sasuke because thinking about Naruto would only lead to me getting hurt. The Uchiha was laying the part of a placebo to me. He was a side quest. And it pleased me whenever he shared what he truly thought about me.

Walking down the streets of Konoha, I noticed Sakura and Naruto sitting on a bench near his house.

"Oi, Hinata!" Naruto waved, hysterically and called me over, "Guess what?" Of course he'd call me out with his sunshine smile. Some things might actually stay the same between us.

I walked over, grabbing my elbow behind my back, "Hello, how are you?" I addressed him formally. Gradually my chest loosened up although I didn't realize it was tight in the first place.

Sakura went quiet once I started approaching. She busied herself with adjusting the length of her dress so it was even at the bottom. "Hi. We're fine," she said, flashing a quick smile.

Naruto grinned, "Sakura and I decided to get married in the spring!" He hugged Sakura close to him and grinned. Her eyes wouldn't make contact with mine. This time she only flashed a half-smile. She was guilty by what I could tell.

For some reason, it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I was doing great. I didn't want to get in the way of anyone's happiness, however before I could congratulate them a hand patted my back, "Yay," he snarked, "Are you two happy now?" he asked in a condescending tone. That was Sasuke's voice in its low, somewhat condescending tone as if he saw this coming from a mile away.

My hair stood up on the back of my neck and I quickly ducked down for a bow, "Yes! Congratulations. I'm happy for you." When I came back up, Sasuke was still fairly close to me. I felt him scoff near my neck. Why was he scoffing? He was mocking me. He doubted me. He knew me.

Sakura seemed to drop her guard, "Yeah, yeah, Sasuke. I know I'm thrilled! Thank you both," she smirked a bit, "You two seem closer."

I tried to protest, but Naruto interjected, "Yeah!" He narrowed his eyes, "There's something between you guys?"

"Shut up, Naruto, you can't see anything!" Sakura playfully pushed Naruto and giggled. Sakura added quiet enough for us to hear, "See? Hinata's face is red and Sasuke's turned away with his teeth clenched. Now he's blushing and she's covering her face. Oh my gosh!" She pointed everything out, excitedly. As my friend, she must have been happy that I was able to 'move on'.

"N-No, I just don't get what you guys are talking about…" I bit my lip and stood up straight. My eyes wandered to Sasuke who stared at me from the corner of his eye. This couldn't really be called moving on. This was more like just trying to move and he kept getting in the way. Moving on would mean that I was trying to get closer to Sasuke in order to stay with him or something. At that point, I wasn't really sure what Sakura was smiling about. She was the one that accused Sasuke of falling for me, however, so I was completely in the dark.

Sasuke's only reaction was a snort. A loud obnoxious snort that made him seem very unattractive. "Hey, Hyuuga," he said in a low voice, inches from my ear.

I turned to him sharply, my eyes opened wide. "Y-Yes?" I answered. For some reason, I wanted to hide our conversation from Sakura and Naruto.

His face was turned enough so I could just see his smirk, "Follow me, okay?" I'm pretty sure the two 'love birds' couldn't hear him whisper. They didn't even look up, so I decided to follow after him to escape the situation at least. As we neared the remote corner of the village, I was finally coming to my senses. What the hell was I doing? This wasn't a good idea. The scene was straight from a horror movie. He literally had me cornered in some dark, alleyway that evening. He jumped to a rooftop and then to a higher one and a higher one.

We faced the setting sun. And went to the edge to look down at the city beneath us. Did he consider jumping? Was he bringing me to witness his suicide? I reached out to him until he plopped down to sit in an Indian position.

I was confused. Did he suddenly forget I was following him? I neared him and the edge then fell back when he suddenly turned to look at me. "Wah," I screamed. He didn't react and went back to facing the sun. Staying put, my mind wandered. Two people, alone, on a rooftop, watching the sunset. What if this was a date for him? What if 'follow me' meant 'go on a date with me'? While I didn't want to lead him on, I felt inclined to stay with him, if only to see what he'd do next.

Sunsets happen every day, but some are more noticeable than others. Some are so powerful that they cause the entire sky to play a part in the sun's temporary departure. And then night comes and it's over. Three are nights that feel eternal. There are moments that feel eternal. My heart dropped as I remembered hearing the words "married". The delayed response to Naruto being with Sakura sank in deep. Hopelessness ensued and I felt selfish for feeling sad.

"Tch. I was wondering why you haven't cried yet."

"Eh?" I touched my cheek, feeling hot tears stream to the grass floor far below me. I sobbed, bending forward and clutched my chest. "I'm so selfish… I really want to be happy for them."

Naruto didn't notice how sad I was, did he? Or else, he would've been more considerate when he indirectly rejected me. It's much better to face those kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. Sakura, for a moment, I knew was skeptical of my reaction, but even she believed me in the end. I, too, believed that I was truly happy about their plan to get married and yet here I was crying. The only person that knew my true feelings was a mere acquaintance whom I thought had no feelings…and he sensed them early on.

He sighed with a slight smirk, "Why? And why did you congratulate them if you didn't mean it?"

"They're happy. I need to get over him." I sobbed and wept and ignored the fact that I was completely vulnerable. Even with-…especially with my close friends and family, I'd never been able to cry in front of them. Something about crying in front of a stranger retained the sense of privacy I had when crying alone. Or maybe crying in front of this certain stranger simply felt right.

"No, why aren't you happy?"

"I can never make Naruto happy."

"What if someone else wanted to make you happy? You wanting that baka happy would be getting in the way. It's just a long, stupid train of people truly just wanting to make themselves happy by having the person they care about the most love them the most. It's all a load of bullshit and once you get rid of the pretentious stuff you forced yourself to believe so you can call yourself 'good', you'll realize that your life can be more than just chasing after someone's attention. That is unless…" he paused his speech and stood up "you're me."

hmfan24: I've gotten very lovely feedback over the years. And if you see me updating and want to re-review then just leave me a PM. I'd really appreciate it. Also, sorry about drunken Sasuke. Sometimes I can't remember the difference between being stoned and being drunk.

Oh yes, the song that Sasuke hummed, I imagined it to be Shika No Uta by Minmi from the Samurai Champloo soundtrack. Just cuz. Okay bye.